Arakshi - Don't Give Up On Me - (Epilogue - Pg 36) - Page 10

Chapter VIII: Realizations

Arjun closed Sakshi's room's door. He leaned against the door and the moments he spent with Sakshi were rolling through his mind. He had never really taken her serious, but many times he had notices that there was subtle pain hidden in her words. The thing that always made him think about Sakshi a lot more than he wanted was that how did she know him so well. He felt as if she knew way more about him than she showed. He sighed and went to his room. Sleep was miles away and if he even tried to close his eyes, his heartrending memories would chase him in form of nightmares.

He took out all the files and proofs that he had collected about Sikander without telling anyone. All those sleepless nights have ended up in piles of information about Sikander. He looked at the map and there were black pins pinned on different cities. These pins were the places where Sikander had been. There was a pattern that Sikander was making and every single murder and incident was completing this pattern. Arjun had long ago realized what pattern he was making, but he just didn't know where next victim would be.

He put another pin and opened the box which had all the clues that Sikander left for him after every incident. He opened his notebook which had all the places that had Sikander attacked already. Even though he had already figured out the pattern, there were so many ways to complete that pattern and he couldn't do this alone. He needed back up and Rathore was not willing to believe him.

He read files and collected as many points as he could. He had read those files millions of time, to the point that he memorized them all, but he read them over and over in hope that he would figure out another side which he hadn't before. The birds chirping outside his room told him that it was dawn already. He sat straight and his tired bones ached because he was sitting all night there. His body was used to it though, three years and not even one night of peaceful. Of course he slept, only when his body was so tired that he couldn't even standstill, but he just couldn't sleep without his past haunting him. He stared out the window and the sun was waking up his city. Roshini loved to feel the first ray of sun. The thoughts came back to his mind and he got up and opened his window. The cold wind found its way in and he shivered. He leaned against the window and closed his eyes.

"ACP Raute agar aap ghode bech ke aa gaye to kiya hum nashta karein?"He heard her sarcastic tone and just hid his head under the pillow.

"Abhi nahi, tum bhi aajao idher apni billi bech kar." He said in muffled voice from under the pillow. He knew how much Roshini loved her cat.

"Meri billi ko haath bhi lagaya na to mai tumharay hi handcuffs tumhare hathon mai daal kar tumhe bahir balcony me latka doon gi." She sat on the bed. A smile spread on his lips and he slowly opened his eyes and put away the pillow from his face. He sighed happily as his gaze fell on his wife.

"Acha Mrs. Raute, billi se itna pyaar." He stared at her beautiful face which had annoyed expressions on it.

"Haan. Billi mere saath time to spend karti hai na. Apna wadah kar ke bhool to nahi jati na." She crossed her arms on her chest and stared at him with disapproving look.

Arjun bit his tongue and realized today he was supposed to take her on Breakfast date. Roshini was a morning person and she loved to go out in the morning, he had promised her that he would take her to the new caf on his day off, but he was so engrossed in his work that he totally forgot. He looked at the clock and it was already one. He sat up and held his ears. Roshini just got up and walked way. She turned around and he was staring at her with sad expressions.

"You are making the breakfast. Aur haan don't give me that puppy look, it doesn't work on me."She slammed the door after she left and he flinched.

He got up and showered. He stepped out of his room and Roshini was sitting there watching TV and petting her cat. He squinted at the cat with jealousy and hate. He went to the kitchen and looked around at everything like a lost puppy. Since he married Roshini, he had forgotten his way in the kitchen.

"Dear god, aaj yahan se ek piece mai nikalwa dena mujhe please." He prayed and started to look around for stuff in order to make breakfast.

Roshini bit her smile as she watched him run around the kitchen for ingredients, Love and affection were evident in her eyes. She never regretted marrying Arjun. He would keep her so happy and love her so much that she had forgotten what sadness felt like. Granted that he would forget a few small promises due to his work, but she knew that he loved her dearly. She heard him murmur something and she laughed. Arjun was staring at that cat and practically throwing daggers at her through his stare.

"Is billi ko maine haathkari pehna ke jail na bhijwa diya to mera naam Arjun nahi."

Arjun tried so many times, but he ended up burning whatever he cooked in each trial. Finally he was exhausted and just boiled some eggs, toasted the bread in toaster and poured the milk in glass. He took the rose from the vase and set up the table. Both to Arjun and Roshini these small moments mattered. Neither of them both desired for something big. They were happy in their small world. Arjun went to living room and went down on his knee and put his hand out.

"Mrs. Roshini Arjun Raute would you like to go on a date with me please?"

Roshini turned towards him and almost burst out laughing. His hair were full of flour, there were stains all over his shirt and his index finger was wrapped in bandage. She just felt so lucky to have this adorable husband. She smiled and put her hand in his. He took her to the table and her smile widened. It wasn't something fancy, but to her it was her world, full of love. They had their breakfast and Arjun twirled her around the living room as the soft song came on the TV. He pulled her closer and caressed her cheek with his right hand. He was about to kiss her forehead when the bell rang.

"Pehle billi ab yeh bell, mere pyaar ke saab dushman bane huay hai."the bell rang again

He came out of his thoughts because of his phone. He looked at it and it from Shree. He was needed at the office. He closed his eyes and breathed in the morning air. For the first time in so long he looked at their wedding picture and tears escaped his eyes. He missed her terribly. It was as if her death left a hole in his heart and there was no way to close that hole. He knew at some point of his life he would have to move on. He knew he would have to clear up things, he knew he would have to recover his relationship with his parents; he knew he would have to leave behind his pain and he also knew that he would have answer Sakshi for her feelings, but it was not today. It was not the right time for him. He didn't know how long it would take him, but he knew he had to recover. Not for anyone else, but for himself.

He showered and got ready. He waited until his maid, Bhavna came. He trusted Bhavna enough to leave Sakshi's responsibility on her. Bhavna had been his maid since he married Roshini. He told everything about Sakshi's medicine and schedule to Bhavna in detail and left for ETF headquarters. The dusty brown walls welcomed him, but there were no satisfied expressions on Rathore's face. Arjun just looked down at the floor and sat on his seat. Rathore gritted his teeth and slammed the case file on the table as he stood up.

"How could you leave her alone?"Rathore screamed.

"Bhavna is with her." Arjun looked up tiredly and replied in cold voice.

Rathore just gritted his teeth yet again and looked away. Arjun shook his head and concentrated on the case progress. Throughout the day he kept on glancing at phone, just in case if Sakshi needed him. When he went out for the case witnesses and evidences, He felt slightly incomplete. Quite a few times while talking to Liza, he had called her Sakshi. While driving back home as much as he was drained, the thoughts were still running around his mind. He felt as if he was in stuck in two different time frames. He didn't know how to let his past go and he was afraid how much more pain would the future bring him. He wanted to choose, but he was scared to death of the outcome.

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Rathore tossed and turned in his bed. He tried to sleep, but he couldn't. He just gave up on sleep. Aayesha, the name that stole his sleep tonight. Aayesha was on his mind since he had acted rude towards her, but now that he had seen her getting close to Arjun it just wouldn't let him rest. He didn't know whether he was angry because Aayesha was taking Arjun's side or because Aayesha was right that he was taking the rift between Arjun and him way too far. Aayesha, Aayesha, Aayesha. He threw the pillow at the window in frustration. He sighed and went through the photos in his phone. There was the one his favorite, the one they took at the dinner they had together.

He could still remember how beautiful she looked in that purple dress. He was mesmerized by her beauty right when he saw her stepping out of her house. After so many years, she was the only one to whom he could open up, together they could laugh about their adventures and with her he could forget about all his wounds. Along with the case investigation, another reason he stayed late at night in office was because he could have a cup of coffee with her. A cup of coffee and small talk with her would make his day complete. He realized it already that she was special to him, but he also realized that maybe, just maybe he already lost her because of his temperament. He regretted the moment he yelled at her. The look in her eyes told him that he had hurt her deeply. He hated himself for hurting the girl he loved.

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