This one is a bit long-ish, so for people who are reading this, I hope it's worth your time !
Part 1
(Scene is at the beach because Choti insisted on going there after the picnic, they all played together for awhile, but now Anuj and Maaya are sitting a little apart, watching Choti play.)
"Anuj.." Maaya said softly.
Anuj recoiled slightly. He felt like he knew what was coming.
Maaya was looking at him with something like longing. "Anuj....there is something I have to tell you"
Anuj started shaking his head and as Maaya opened her mouth to speak, he stopped her.
"No, no, don't say anything more. Not a word more. No."
He had been pretending not to notice all this while, but it was too hard not to when all the signs were right there. The stolen glances of admiration from her, her eagerness to be together with him along with Choti as if they were playing happy family, her question: do we really have to keep repeating that we are not together?...it was all right there.
But he was surprised at how vehemently he had started saying no. It was more like he was saying 'no' to himself more than her.
There was clearly a big, gaping void in his married life and Maya was stirring some semblance of a feeling inside him.
"No" he kept on repeating.
"Anuj...." Maaya began again.
"Just because you can clearly see my marriage is in trouble doesn't mean you try and take advantage of it!" He lashed out.
Maaya backed away a little, her eyes widening.
"Yes, Anupama has a lot of responsibilities, she belongs to 2 families apart from her real family! I understand that... and she is under overwhelming stress all the time, do you know how demanding the Shah family is? How much I've had to deal with - you know, it has barely been 6 months after our marriage - and there was a point...there was a point when I was so close to death. Paralyzed, with no way of knowing when I'll be better...and still she...still there were times she had to go to that family..."
Something stirred inside him.
No.
Did she actually have to go then? Questions he had always suppressed started coming up.
At that time, did she really have to go? It was just Pari's naming ceremony...but no, he understood how precious it was for her...
..
He did. He really did...
Did he?
He felt a sudden rage.
"She left for her granddaughter's naming ceremony, now that wasn't an emergency, was it?" Anuj half-looked at Maaya.
Maaya was looking at him with a strange mixture of pity and confusion.
"She had to go and dance with her ex-in laws for her granddaughter's naming ceremony...I mean I love Pari very much, I really do.... but I was paralyzed, for God's sake!"
Maaya did not know what to say. Was Anuj drunk? She had never seen him like this....what was the word, unhinged?
"Are you drunk?"
Anuj laughed a little. "Oh no, no no. Okay fine, I've been drinking, little little. I keep this little bottle with me and take swigs now and then when no one's looking. But this is not drunk. You know what a real drunk I used to be for 26 years of my life?"
Maaya looked confused.
"Oh you don't know my legendary love story? Oh right, you don't know it. So you see, I have been pining for Anupama for 26 years. Few glimpses I had seen in college, and I went and got hung up over it for 26 years. 26 years I tell you....I was drunk with feelings about how I thought she was..."
He laughed: "You haven't seen my shayari side, have you? Oh just thinking of the image I had constructed of her, a thousand shayaris used to come alive. And finally now that I've married her, now that my biggest dream has finally come true, I think now that side of me is... dead"
"...you know what, I actually wish I never met her, never married her, I would have been so much more happier living in my illusion..."
Maaya felt a sudden spurt of affection. She knew what he was feeling. Loneliness. Crippling loneliness. What she had felt in her life for years and years - the inescapable blackhole of loneliness...and she suddenly remembered that moment, that moment when she finally felt she was not alone in the world. When she came to know about her daughter. Her Anu.
"...but what can I even do now?" Anuj kept going. "Do you know how many times I have had to beg Anupama to give attention to our daughter?"
...our daughter. Maaya couldn't help but notice.
"I have pleaded with her so many times. Why does she always want to take care of everything on her own? Why does she want to carry the weight of the whole world on her shoulders? Do you know how that family who she calls family is?
I know, I married a divorcee with kids of her own, but oh man, they have absolutely no sense of decency and no idea of limits. And I supported her for the longest time, kept getting involved to reduce her burden. Isn't that what love is?
But my god, I don't usually use language like this, but they are just parasitic leeches that drain every last bit of soul out of you...and as if that wasn't enough, Anupama volunteers to do stuff for them. Volunteers, I tell you!"
He saw that Maaya was intently listening, and it looked like... it looked like she truly cared. He had been carrying so much of pain inside...ever so silently, that everything came pouring out.
"Just the smallest bit of example. There was a time I saved Samar...Anupama's son..? Yeah I saved his life, this was back at her place before the marriage, and I'm not calling myself a hero, but you know what Baa's response was? With the same breath that she said "Thank you", she said "If you keep staying here, people will talk. So please leave"
"This feel like decades ago, but the cycles kept repeating, repeating...and that Baa, she even used to treat Choti as a second class citizen just because...because it was believed she was an orphan and fostered...I used to die from the inside...but I never defended Choti enough because I didn't want to hurt....I didn't want to hurt Anupama..."
He half glanced at Maaya but could not fully meet her eyes. Maaya's expression hardened.
"The lengths to which Anupama goes for someone as abusive as Baa...I don't understand it. The final nail in the coffin was...ah the infamous dance competition, the event that rocked the foundation of our marriage"
He described the incident. The tears in Maaya's eyes glistened.
"And you know what the worst part was? She told me...she told me it was Pari that delayed her.
But later Barkha told me the truth: she had stayed back to make khichdi for Baa, she had volunteered for it!
It was like my whole world came crashing down, it felt like a betrayal....like a betrayal that I have never felt before. I had promised myself then - I'll never let my daughter's heart be broken again...
...and that's why we are on this picnic together"
The tears in Maaya's eyes started streaming, and her voice cracked a little as she said "Anuj....Anuj I have a confession to make"
Anuj looked up at her, it was like he was seeing her clearly for the first time. He had subconsciously poured out his heart sensing a good listener but now he felt a little embarrassed.
Maaya looked him straight in the eye. "I was...I actually don't have any feelings for you. I made it seem like I do, so as to try and get close to you, so I'd get incriminating details about the neglect subjected to my daughter. I mean...if one of the foster parent clearly admits to it, then..." She tilted her phone to show it was on recording mode.
Part 2
Anuj looked stunned.
"I have been trying to build a solid case to go to court for awhile now. I already have lots of incriminating videos of the treatment of Shah family, I already knew a lot of things you were telling me. I felt getting the foster parents themselves to admit to neglect would be the best in wrapping everything up..."
Anuj looked panicked. "Maaya...I love Choti, I really do.."
Maaya's gaze softened. "I know. I know this must feel like the worst kind of manipulation to you, but I would do anything for my daughter. Anything"
Anuj starts to cry. "I swear, I swear -"
"But don't worry" Maaya spoke up, there was a resolve on her face. "I am not going to use this. I thought I could but I can't. Especially seeing you this way, I see this...I see this as the vulnerable pourings of a...of a truly lonely soul"
Anuj looked at her. There was hope in her eyes.
"But I will use all the videos I have taken so far. I think that will be enough. What I've gone through..." She shivered a little. "How my child was my hope, my strength, my everything...and to see her in an atmosphere where she's involved with people who treat her like a second class citizen...never. I'll never allow it"
Anuj looked at her with a new-found respect.
There was a pause and then he said very softly. "That won't be necessary"
"What, I didn't quite catch that?"
"It won't be necessary" Anuj said louder. He was firm now. "Let's have an out of court settlement. You...you deserve her. You deserve this life with her. I'll be checking all your credentials once for security, but I can...sense you're genuine. Choti is my life and I can understand someone who feels the same way. Someone...someone who feels it much greater than I do"
Maaya's whole face lit up. "You...you mean it?"
Anuj nodded. "Together, we will explain to her. She's still a kid, but we will tell it to her in a way she'll understand....but...but will it be okay...will it be okay if I visit her sometime? I promise I'll never overstay my welcome, I'll never interfere - "
Maaya said suddenly, "Anuj, you'll always be welcome."
Anuj smiled like a child.
"Anuj..." Maaya started. "Somehow I feel like telling you this. The way my life has been, I have deep-seated trust issues with men. It's really...really quite bad. The frame of mind I'm in, falling in love with someone...it scares me. It scares me to the point of...I have, I have nightmares every night about my past trauma. I have gotten so much better at dealing with it, but I still..I haven't had the slightest bit of feelings for you. You're a good man, actually after everything I've gone through....you're like a saint....even after you pointed fingers at me and said many judgemental comments, you still feel like a... "
Anuj was wracked with guilt. "I was so stupid, so stupid and insensitive. I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...once you recover from all this, you'll find a much better man than me, who you deserve.."
Maaya smiled faintly. "I don't think I will ever be looking for one, nor do I feel like I need one. I have my daughter. Me and her. Our tiny little world. It just...it feels so enough, just thinking about it...the joy I feel...Maayan. Maaya and Anu. That's enough"
Maaya had an after thought.
"No, actually, I think...I think I want to be Uthara again, that girl I used to be, full of life and innocence and curiousity"
Anuj looked at her radiant face. He knew the hurt of losing Choti will come in waves to him, and it might even break him, but right now he felt an overwhelming sense of peace. It felt like the biggest expression of love he could show her was to return her back to her own mother.
They sat in comfortable silence for awhile.
"You know, Ma - Uthara?" Anuj started.
"Hmm?" Uthara smiled at the acknowledgement.
"I think I would have actually loved it if you went to court. Seeing how that circus of a family gets away with everything, seeing karma hitting them would have been so satisfying!"
Uthara started laughing. "And trust me, I have some really good stuff too"
Anuj also started to laugh. "I'm so sure, but I'm not even sure you'll get the opportunity to show it fully, halfway through, the judge himself would rise, forget all the legal proceedings he/she has learnt in their lives and go: "Please, no more of this family drama, no more - you can have your daughter back, you can have her back!"
There was a pause, and then they started laughing together. "My god, they really are something, aren't they? Whatever glimpses I got was enough" Uthara pitched in.
But Anuj's mind was on another track. "I think, I think I need to have a serious talk with Anupama"
Uthara, who was still in a lighthearted mood, tried to imitate Anuj in a fake deep voice : "Yeah you need to ask her - Anupama, so who is it going to be - me or your circus?"
"Hey!" Anuj protested but allowed himself to smile a little.
"You'll do fine" Uthara said, reading his mind. "I feel you have so much more clarity about your life now, all the right words will come to you when you talk to her"
Anuj smiled at her. What was this feeling...this feeling of being understood, this was something he hadn't felt in a long, long time.
Together, they watched Choti building her sandcastles with the utmost concentration, with faint smiles of satisfaction on their faces. The comfortable silence was broken when Uthara murmured, "You should stop drinking"
"I will" and Anuj meant it.
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