Vanraj’s character and Anupama’s’ mistake - Page 2

There are many reason anupama could not revolt because

1 when vanraj come to see anupama for marriage then vanraj say yes to marriage so it was big deal for anupama because anupama mayka is not finacially strong and if any from strong Financial say yes to marriage to that home who is finacially weak , natural that side who is finacially weak will feel grateful to those ( who are Financial strong) say yes to marriage

Simlarly anupama feel grateful to vanraj because he say yes to marriage no matter anupama mayaka Financial condition is weak .and it is big deal for any weak Financial family if someone who is Financial strong say yes to marriage to that family who is not Financial strong

Though vanraj saying yes to marriage is fake

2 though vanraj insult her but some time he show anupama that he love anupama like yeh kehana be ready nicely today is party ( anupama thinking that vanraj is celebrating anupama birth day ) , telling anupama that in paison se apne liye bangle bana lena , tum khaana bahut accha bana ti ho . Tum is blue saree mein achi lagti ho

Scolding rakhi that u have no right to talk about my wife like this. My wife know how to respect others

So these kind of incident make anupama think though vanraj get angry but he love and care about me

Altough vanraj did not all things like asking anupama tum in paison se kangan banwalena scolding rakhi these thing he did out of prestige not out of love for anupama

3 pehle yeh sikhaaya jaata that ki chahe pati gusse wala ho bimar ho pati ghar mein hona chahiye kyonki bahar walo ke man mein dar rehta hai for aise security point of view pati ghar mein hona chahiye before 30 years 40 years yahi mentality hoti thi ki pati jaisa ho but bahar walon ke man dar rehta that ki ghar mein husband hai

4 and most common reason that whenver girl marrried they are taught by mayka ki pati ki seva karna, unse jhagda nahi karna and many mayka use to telling their daughter ki apne pati se Fight karke mut aana nahin to yahan apne ghar mein nahi aane denge . Tumhara pati jaisa ho nibhana seekho hum tumhe saari zindagi bitha kur tumhare karcha zindagi bhar nahi utha sakte hume aur ki bhi shaadi karni hai

And also society mein insult nahi ho is wajah se bhi wife husband ki cruelty tolerate kar jaati thi

More over due to poor Financial condition wife could not revolt

And it is not that anupama never revolt . When vanraj ask anupama to go out of his room and anupama has panic attack and when devka took anupama to her house

Anupama get angry to vanraj at that time and vanraj say fake sorry to anupama and fake propose to anupama give her ring and asking anupama will u marry me again and then singing romantic song for anupama though fake

Ab vanraj ne beech beech aisa love drama kiya to kahan se anupama utna revolt kar paati

Now anupama has underwood that vanraj never love her that was his drama so she is starting revolting against vanraj

Originally posted by: curious1

I have been thinking about Vanraj’s character

Not defending anyone just putting my thoughts out there

Anyone has the right to like or not like someone.
No-one should be forced to stick to bad relationships. If for whatever reasons justifiable or not he does not like Anupama he should have the right to move on. Divorce is legal and everyone is entitled to that.

Vanraj has been a good provider a good son a good father. Cares about how his family feels about him. Many pluses. He just hates Anupama.

I feel she encouraged this behavior for so long. Could she not have changed a little bit. The kids would insult her Baa insults her and she would put up with all this for this all along i would ask why.
Are we saying it is ok to put up with all the abuse until husband cheats. She has acted stupid all along.
I want women like Anupama if they exist to revolt from the begetting and not let things come to this point. She should have spoken against Baa and kids also when they were insulting her. Even now she is all about Baa i don’t get why. She has done nothing mother like
And gets so much respect.

Anupama is paying price for being blind fir 25 years. Serves her right.

Again not saying Vanraj’s behavior is justified. He should have taken divorce and married Kavya. Anupama also should not have trusted everyone blindly. Writing was on the wall and she decided not to read. She cannot go blame free.

I get what you are saying infact even I am not saying that Vanraj is some sort of evil or monster. Vanraj is a good father he is a good son but the point still remains that he is a coward. He has found himself a punching bag in the form of Anupama and has been putting blames for all his failures on Anupama instead of accepting them. He didn't like Anupama fine leave her. It is not like Vanraj was dependent on Anupama or anything. Instead of cheating why not be upfront with her.

Regarding your second point why did Anupama continue with it for so many years - that is what abuse or torture - let me be clear mental torture comes in. That is what usually happens and not just with less educated woman like Anupama but even with highly educated woman. Think of it this way - you meet a guy he behaves nicely with you occasionally praises you and is nice enough with his family. You start trusting him completing. When a person like that accuses you, points out your mistakes all the time shouts at you somewhere you start blaming yourself it kind of becomes a pattern and you cannot come out of that no matter how much you want. Anupama is strong as we have seen in the last few episode. Even before like we saw when she stood upto Rakhi, stood up for Pakhi infront of her so called abusive friend or his family, or when she stood up in front of her own family when she lost her job. But years of hearing that you are nothing but S*** and that too from a person who you trusted once takes a toll on you.

Also we are raised up in a society where the woman will always be blamed. Hasnt Baa already started softening up to Vanraj. And in real life trust me people will start telling Anupama start being modern wear jeans be a little forward all will be ok, he will never leave you all men are like that as Dolly already pointed out.

I am not completely writing of Vanraj he is not a bad person but he is just doesnt have a backbone and he is the one who is responsible for the whole situation.

I actually agree with mist of you.

Vanraj is certainly wrong but that does not mean Anupama is right. Vanraj has yelled yelled at her right before marriage and she even had a panic attack still she decided to forgive and forget. He clearly told her how he does not even want to come close to her. She forgot all that so quickly and started acting like nothing happened.

My only point is that even though cheating is horrible that should not be the only offense that is unforgivable. Suddenly she gathered so much courage but until this she kept putting up with all kinds of trash including from her own kids.

For Vanraj I would reiterate that he is a good father and a good son only a horrible husband is this reason enough for his parents to hate him.

May be I am not able to relate to this but the solution to this whole problem was for Anupama to stand up for her Vanraj to marry Kavya instead of cheating on his wife.

I feel If anyone is to be blamed here, is Vanraj's family AND Vanraj . Seriously, why they did not ask him before choosing a life partner for him? This is something some parents do always and ruins more than one life.

What was Anupama's fault in all these?

And if Anu was not that kind of woman you wanted, then Vanraj, why you did not encourage her to update? You could have encourage her to study and all. If you SO MUCH hate her then why made her pregnant and all? This is just disgusting.

Anu's only fault is she was tolerating everything. This self respect should have aroused earlier.

The basic fact here is Vanraj was forced into the marriage as much as anupama was.

If he had liked a little bit about her, he could have supported her and helped her grow.

But the lack of basic interest he continued to hold grudges against her.

All said and done , atleast when he found kavya, he could have gracefully exited the relation ship maintaining the dignity of the person. Instead of using her as a maid.

Yes women like anupama are strong, she did not have to take shit from in laws or bullshit from her own kids. The boundary for respect could have been drawn by her. This mistake is on her.

Of course, everyone deserves a right to live in a mutually satisfying relationship. But Vanraj has never been honest about both his relationships....

1. He wanted Anu to serve like a maid at home and Kavya as an arm candy outside. He wanted to pride ride on his arm candy, but at the same time used Anu like a door mat at his disposal.

2. He is the bread winner and did provide for his children. But it is his responsibility to do that. After all without liking Anupama, he went to have 3 children with her ! With her not being educated and running his household, he HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE for getting money for the family and house.

3. He ran his EMA with Kavya for 8 years. Infidelity is not pardonable in any corner of the world. Both the women seems to have put up with his nonsense and not revolted still. Except Kavya now showing him the mirror sometimes. She still runs like a pup after him.

4. His parents, fgs are still alive. But he treats himself as the Head of the Family. He should have given that respect to his father, gestures speak lot. He occupies the HOF chair at dining and his mom runs around him all the time. He kind of enjoys all the pamper and likes the fact that people adjust or tune into his manners and ways ! If anyone dare speak up, he threatens to throw them out of the house or leave the house himself.

In summary, his character is doomed and beyond revival.

Agree, Anupama put up with the nonsense. But mind it, she wasn't financially independent and emotionally vulnerable. And who made her so???? Of course her husband, who never allowed her to grow.

He is manipulative beyond words, he can play like a toy with everyone else's emotions by showing them how important he and his earnings are to the family.

The day Anu earned some money his so called bloated male ego could not digest the fact.

Basically he is a man-child who never refused to grow up. And a big chauvinist.

I don't know why I have this feeling that vanraj him self due to society or something he is hiding his real self and I think come on he somewhere loves anu he just dont realize it when that day comes it's gonna be too late he always tried to act in front of others and kavYa well with anu he had been himself and he is this Desi type guy not the one that goes and acts to like eating pasta front of clients. He shows to signs of loving kavYa its just he thinks and loves his family its like he is taking her for a ride and simply attracted to her

Originally posted by: Laysha

I don't know why I have this feeling that vanraj him self due to society or something he is hiding his real self and I think come on he somewhere loves anu he just dont realize it when that day comes it's gonna be too late he always tried to act in front of others and kavYa well with anu he had been himself and he is this Desi type guy not the one that goes and acts to like eating pasta front of clients. He shows to signs of loving kavYa its just he thinks and loves his family its like he is taking her for a ride and simply attracted to her

How can he be just attracted to Kavya for EIGHT years?! Attraction doesn't last this long ... He has crossed all the limits. They are involved with each other emotionally, physically, and mentally. He wants the best of both worlds, he wants a girl like Kavya to showoff infront of society to maintain his pride and reputation but he also wants a girl like Anupama to do all his housework and take care of family because he knows a girl like Kavya is not a family type material, so to speak. He is selfish. He is with Kavya just because of her status, he isn't even a good boyfriend to her. How is she tolerating this BOY, i don't know.

Maybe in the future, we might get to see a change in him and starting to like Anupama but definitely doesn't love her right now! I cannot believe that this is love, not even 0.01% hidden feelings. I mean a guy that didn't even thank her for saving his father's life?!

Originally posted by: desi-chai

Of course, everyone deserves a right to live in a mutually satisfying relationship. But Vanraj has never been honest about both his relationships....

1. He wanted Anu to serve like a maid at home and Kavya as an arm candy outside. He wanted to pride ride on his arm candy, but at the same time used Anu like a door mat at his disposal.✋

He wanted to have Anupama as the caretaker of his parents and children. He wanted her to cook and pick after him. Plus I don't think he ever wanted to marry kav legally until it came on his ego

2. He is the bread winner and did provide for his children. But it is his responsibility to do that. After all without liking Anupama, he went to have 3 children with her ! With her not being educated and running his household, he HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE for getting money for the family and house.

Totally when did try to be a teacher he and his mother made all efforts to make sure she fails

3. He ran his EMA with Kavya for 8 years. Infidelity is not pardonable in any corner of the world. Both the women seems to have put up with his nonsense and not revolted still. Except Kavya now showing him the mirror sometimes. She still runs like a pup after him.

U don't like someone in a romantic way the decent thing would be to exit the relationship legally before u start another one. Plus think of all the pros and cons

4. His parents, fgs are still alive. But he treats himself as the Head of the Family. He should have given that respect to his father, gestures speak lot. He occupies the HOF chair at dining and his mom runs around him all the time. He kind of enjoys all the pamper and likes the fact that people adjust or tune into his manners and ways ! If anyone dare speak up, he threatens to throw them out of the house or leave the house himself.

In summary, his character is doomed and beyond revival.

Agree, Anupama put up with the nonsense. But mind it, she wasn't financially independent and emotionally vulnerable. And who made her so???? Of course her husband, who never allowed her to grow.

He is manipulative beyond words, he can play like a toy with everyone else's emotions by showing them how important he and his earnings are to the family.

The day Anu earned some money his so called bloated male ego could not digest the fact.

Basically he is a man-child who never refused to grow up. And a big chauvinist.

+1 I totally agree .. additional comments added

yeah, anyone has the right to like someone. But ema is not justified. you can simply divorce the person, if you think she is not your perfect match. 🐷 Vanraj has 3 children with anupama. Yeh liking ke bina kaise hue. He is just a lusty budha. 🤬kavya is pretty and attractive. He just wants a trophy wife to make people jealous. That's it. 🤢