Vanraj’s character and Anupama’s’ mistake - Page 3

Not at all...

Even I didn't like how Anu's character was shown in the beginning (seemed too gullible and immature for her age tbh) but no way in hell this whole mess is her fault...

In fact imo her only mistake was not noticing something weird between Vanraj and Kavya sooner... but then even that wasn't just her mistake... Baa-Bapuji, Dolly-Sanjay, kids were also blind to the affair...

The problem in this marriage is that "Vee" expects way too much from Anu, (that she should change her entire personality, get a makeover, become an expert in a foreign language just to impress him) ALONG with doing all the stuff she does anyway (doing all the housework, tolerating his mom's bs, practically raising his sister's kid, etc)...

But at the same time he shamelessly applauds himself for doing the barest minimum (going to work and putting food on the table) while he also sleeps around with his colleagues...

It's the inequality that he expects in their relationship that make Vanraj 100% wrong in this situation...

Also as for "Vee" apparently not liking Anu at the time of marriage, instead of being all mahaan and blindly accepting his Dadi's choice, at that time 25 years ago he should have grew some balls and been honest with his family... even his Baa would have took his side...

I just wish that women like Anupama can take control sooner rather than later. If you let the world kick you around like a football it will. They have to make sure people realize their worth and acknowledged it.

People like Vanraj derive their strength to be evil from people like Anupama, Baa and even Kavya who still does not realize that if he could do all this to his family she is nothing.

Originally posted by: curious1

I have been thinking about Vanraj’s character

Not defending anyone just putting my thoughts out there

Anyone has the right to like or not like someone.
No-one should be forced to stick to bad relationships. If for whatever reasons justifiable or not he does not like Anupama he should have the right to move on. Divorce is legal and everyone is entitled to that.

Vanraj has been a good provider a good son a good father. Cares about how his family feels about him. Many pluses. He just hates Anupama.

I feel she encouraged this behavior for so long. Could she not have changed a little bit. The kids would insult her Baa insults her and she would put up with all this for this all along i would ask why.
Are we saying it is ok to put up with all the abuse until husband cheats. She has acted stupid all along.
I want women like Anupama if they exist to revolt from the begetting and not let things come to this point. She should have spoken against Baa and kids also when they were insulting her. Even now she is all about Baa i don’t get why. She has done nothing mother like
And gets so much respect.

Anupama is paying price for being blind fir 25 years. Serves her right.

Again not saying Vanraj’s behavior is justified. He should have taken divorce and married Kavya. Anupama also should not have trusted everyone blindly. Writing was on the wall and she decided not to read. She cannot go blame free.

do you think people will change if you say their words are hurting them..no they are hurting after knowing clearly how bad they feel. people like baa and vanraj live in this society. if a girl starts raising her voice she will be chucked out of the house. there are many drawbacks in taking decision to move out of the house:

1. attachment towards kids and their future.

2. lack of financial and emotional support from both parents place and in laws place.

3. Divorce is not an easy affair. the lawyer fees are in lakhs for every hearing.

4. i know few people who are struggling to get divorce legally even for more than 5 yrs after applying for divorce. only if they agree mutually without any issues,they can get divorce in minimum one year.

Main point to be noted:

I am happy that baa realised her mistake,not all mother in law accept their unfair treatment.

An egoistic person like vanraj can never get satisfied if anupama lived to his expectation. he always want anupama to be a free maid and a doormat. All the reasons which he is giving is to justify his mistake...men are just liers and good actors..

Originally posted by: Annie_13

Idk why is it so common these days to put the entire blame on the victim. I mean everyone can't be bold and strong and can't have flourishing career. Some people don't succed in life and they're weak, delusional, submissive that doesn't mean that people have the right to betray them. Anupama has her premises and she was brought up like that. She was taught to sacrifice. She did her best to fulfill all of her responsibilities. Vanraj should have divorced her instead of cheating on her. Any Comment that justifies infidelity is very very disrespectful. No one has the right to cheat mo matter what the situation is. Glorification of infidelity in the name of so called love is disgusting.

Vanraj doesn't care abour his family at all. If he cared, he would have made appointments for Bapuji, he wouldn’t have blackmailed anupama by saying he'll kick out Samar out of the house, he wouldn’t have let Toshu's engagement be broken for his affair, wouldn’t have manipulated Toshu, he wouldn’t have blamed the mother of his child in front of them. He would have shown a little bit of shame in front of Sanjay thinking about his sister's image. He just pretends to care for his family and wants them to be with him for his so called Pride. He wants to show the world that he's got a perfect family that's all. In fact he's lying to himself that he loves his family.

He should have thought about his own happiness instead of depending on other people. He could have chosen his own life partner, why depend on his dadi to choose a life partner for him. Okay he couldn’t but atleast Could have divorced anupama before having an affair with kavya. That coward didn’t have the audacity to fight for his own happiness then how can he put the blame on anupama.

Anupama was blind but did vanraj ever try to make anupama realize that it's not working? Instead he encouraged this behaviour and manipulated anupama to thinking that they have this perfect relationship. He wanted a servant for free. If he had told anupama atleast she could have filed a divorce but no the coward didn’t do it. Did he ever let Anupama do anything besides household chores? Did he let her step out of the house and gave her time to upgrade herself?

Even after anu Saying that he can marry kavya and can divorce her, that coward couldn’t do it. He's a horrible human, husband, boyfriend, father, son.

That coward doesn’t have the guts to take a Stand for his happiness and doesn’t want to take any responsiblity for his action.

He can only blame, insult, blackmail and manipulate others.

you have almost covered all the points about vanraj character..bang on..loving it...

Originally posted by: Poojaa_P

Just two things I want to point out:

It's easier to blame people than accept our own faults. That's how an egoistic person is - i.e Vanraj.

It is easier to be quiet and tolerate than speak up against our loved ones. This is how a selfless person is - i.e Anupama.

When an egoistic person meets selfless - the selfless will suffer as they will always put others before themself and accept their fate without arguing just to avoid any trouble. And Egoistic will keep on oppressing.

Sadly, it still happens in rural and smaller villages. And it's easy for us to just say why can't Anupama stand up, why didn't she speak up, but doing it, in reality, is much harder especially at her age. She is not an independent person, her whole life is just family. Nobody let her do what she wanted so she herself doesn't know her worth!

You can only stand up for yourself and speak against them if you first believe in yourself and know your value.

No other reason is required to clear the doubts of the person who posted it..so crisp and clear...

Originally posted by: Tvfanatic85

I get what you are saying infact even I am not saying that Vanraj is some sort of evil or monster. Vanraj is a good father he is a good son but the point still remains that he is a coward. He has found himself a punching bag in the form of Anupama and has been putting blames for all his failures on Anupama instead of accepting them. He didn't like Anupama fine leave her. It is not like Vanraj was dependent on Anupama or anything. Instead of cheating why not be upfront with her.

Regarding your second point why did Anupama continue with it for so many years - that is what abuse or torture - let me be clear mental torture comes in. That is what usually happens and not just with less educated woman like Anupama but even with highly educated woman. Think of it this way - you meet a guy he behaves nicely with you occasionally praises you and is nice enough with his family. You start trusting him completing. When a person like that accuses you, points out your mistakes all the time shouts at you somewhere you start blaming yourself it kind of becomes a pattern and you cannot come out of that no matter how much you want. Anupama is strong as we have seen in the last few episode. Even before like we saw when she stood upto Rakhi, stood up for Pakhi infront of her so called abusive friend or his family, or when she stood up in front of her own family when she lost her job. But years of hearing that you are nothing but S*** and that too from a person who you trusted once takes a toll on you.

Also we are raised up in a society where the woman will always be blamed. Hasnt Baa already started softening up to Vanraj. And in real life trust me people will start telling Anupama start being modern wear jeans be a little forward all will be ok, he will never leave you all men are like that as Dolly already pointed out.

I am not completely writing of Vanraj he is not a bad person but he is just doesnt have a backbone and he is the one who is responsible for the whole situation.

@bold..feeling emotional yaar..so so true.😭

woman are fooled for many years by telling that men will be under the wife control,if their sex life is great. people like vanraj will never fall for those antics ..men like him will use that opportunity to enjoy and after sometimes again shuru mental torture,emotional blackmail,bullying,taunting. for them their pride and ego is important..they are cowards to accept the mistake..🤢😡

I think anuj will come in anupamaa life devika spoke about him in early episodes sreemoyee friend also come he is hero and he is really handsome 😁

It looks like more lust from his side he don't show any emosional connection with kavYa that's why I feel that way

I do agree with you on some points. But we can't deny is that both Vanraj and Baa are spineless. Vanraj should have been upfront about his thoughts on his life partner prior to the wedding. So what his dadi chose Anupama for him? If he had put his foot down and mustered the courage to say no to his dadi, could she have kept him at gunpoint? He gave in to the pressure of his family and married her. Everything went on seamlessly in that house because Anupama toiled hard day and night. She never felt the change to need because Vanraj never expressed his likes and dislikes to her. All he did was insult her. Instead if he had shared his thoughts on what he wanted his life partner to be like, Anupama would have made an attempt to change herself a bit. On one hand he wants a caretaker for his family and on the other he also expects her to be his fancy arm candy? Well he can't have it both ways.

Originally posted by: Laysha

I think anuj will come in anupamaa life devika spoke about him in early episodes sreemoyee friend also come he is hero and he is really handsome 😁

omg whatt. THat would be really interesting. Hope they do it in this version too.