Posted:
Hey people,
I came to this section of the forum accidently N I saw that a lot of people out here pour their hearts put so I thought maybe I should tell ittoo.
Oky so this it.
I have been in this country for about 3 years now. Well not 3 years exact but its goning to be three years in May. So I was in India before that for theearliest part of my life. I was never outgoing but I was always the scared one N I was alwyaz shy of people. I don't know Y?
When I cam ehere I was the same tooo.. But I felt that I have changed in the last year 2007. Iu become more active than I was never before. I acted in a play became a memebr of the club in our college.
I did lots of stuff. I started talking to people. And I felt that I am finally getting out of my shell...
I was really happy and so was everyone around me.
But then by the year end everything seems to falter back to swuare one. I don't know why but I feel that I am going back to my old self and I really hate that. I am not that shy anymore but I feel that sometimes people just think that I talk too much and I feel tha I am unwanted in their company.
This new years eve I was with my family and it was fun.. and we have this cousin whos born here N she N I don't talk that much. So that day she started crying and all of us went to her to ask her what happened. After some time she opened the door N let us in. I tried to talk to her and all but I she budged talking to me. Even though her face stays still I feel that I am not liked. I don't know why.
When I came to the US everyone was like praising me. They had like big respect for me and all. But now I feel as if I am nothing. I have lost everything. I don't know why this happens.
But thats one problem with me. I bond with one person really well... N then that person just goes away N I am left all alone.
I really hate that. This new year my best cuzin that she was cuz we talked a lot N all..... well we had a fight N then i went and said sorry to her......
But since then I feel that there is a tension between us and hence we can never be the same again.
I feel that everyone just moves on And I like stay behind. I hate that because I don't want to be like this. I really want to be an active meber of the society and I really do. But I just dont know how to do it.
I am really.......
I dont want my parents to feel ashamed because of me. I am in a county college and I will be graduating this year and I want to transfer. I was in a professional pharamacy college in India but I had to leave it and come here. And now since the past three years I have still been pursuing that.
Sometimes I feel that I should just do it.And sometimes I feel that it was never meant to be for me.
My professor randomly mentioned that his siter was quite old as him about 40 / 50 and she still wished to do pharmacyN he was like saying toher that just accept it that it is not ur destiny
I dont know is that what is going to happen to me.
I am really bad.
That is why no one seems to like me.
I hate my self.
Sorry that U had to read this
I am really sorryy
I came to this section of the forum accidently N I saw that a lot of people out here pour their hearts put so I thought maybe I should tell ittoo.
Oky so this it.
I have been in this country for about 3 years now. Well not 3 years exact but its goning to be three years in May. So I was in India before that for theearliest part of my life. I was never outgoing but I was always the scared one N I was alwyaz shy of people. I don't know Y?
When I cam ehere I was the same tooo.. But I felt that I have changed in the last year 2007. Iu become more active than I was never before. I acted in a play became a memebr of the club in our college.
I did lots of stuff. I started talking to people. And I felt that I am finally getting out of my shell...
I was really happy and so was everyone around me.
But then by the year end everything seems to falter back to swuare one. I don't know why but I feel that I am going back to my old self and I really hate that. I am not that shy anymore but I feel that sometimes people just think that I talk too much and I feel tha I am unwanted in their company.
This new years eve I was with my family and it was fun.. and we have this cousin whos born here N she N I don't talk that much. So that day she started crying and all of us went to her to ask her what happened. After some time she opened the door N let us in. I tried to talk to her and all but I she budged talking to me. Even though her face stays still I feel that I am not liked. I don't know why.
When I came to the US everyone was like praising me. They had like big respect for me and all. But now I feel as if I am nothing. I have lost everything. I don't know why this happens.
But thats one problem with me. I bond with one person really well... N then that person just goes away N I am left all alone.
I really hate that. This new year my best cuzin that she was cuz we talked a lot N all..... well we had a fight N then i went and said sorry to her......
But since then I feel that there is a tension between us and hence we can never be the same again.
I feel that everyone just moves on And I like stay behind. I hate that because I don't want to be like this. I really want to be an active meber of the society and I really do. But I just dont know how to do it.
I am really.......
I dont want my parents to feel ashamed because of me. I am in a county college and I will be graduating this year and I want to transfer. I was in a professional pharamacy college in India but I had to leave it and come here. And now since the past three years I have still been pursuing that.
Sometimes I feel that I should just do it.And sometimes I feel that it was never meant to be for me.
My professor randomly mentioned that his siter was quite old as him about 40 / 50 and she still wished to do pharmacyN he was like saying toher that just accept it that it is not ur destiny
I dont know is that what is going to happen to me.
I am really bad.
That is why no one seems to like me.
I hate my self.
Sorry that U had to read this
I am really sorryy
