Bring INS KB back to the dock for repair (Part I)

461075 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#1

This write-up is on someone's behest ... my take on what it would take to get this ship back on an even keel (I would never have had KB enter these shark infested waters in the first place), but given that that's where we are ...

Feel free to add, subtract with only one proviso - make sure the tale remains cogent, not senseless goop melange!

We should have the Neetu/Omi budding lovers return to home-not-so-sweet-home only to find the place in a helter-skelter state and notice Mili's phone on the floor ... Abhi should call the police and return to Dagar Mansion to await their arrival ... he'll encounter a completely befuddled Omi&Neetu and explain what may be underway ... the police should arrive and call reinforcements to go search the neighborhood for Mili ... they might arrive to witness Mili being attacked and take N.S. Dagar back to the Thana for an overnight stay at that swanky joint ... Mili should be taken to City Hospital for rest and repair ... Abhi should call the folks at the Pink Palace and have everyone assemble at the Hospital where recriminations should be heaped by the ton on the demon ... Anuj is ready to of course slaughter the older Dagar ... the Mathurs should arrive as well and Vishal will be bent on taking that same iron rod that Simi wielded, to the rogue's back and behind ... but first we have to concentrate on getting Mili back to health ... the police will take her statement ... NahKool's nefarious intentions towards his brother and sinlaw will come to the fore ... to the charges for attempted rape is added the charge for attempted murder ...

N.S. Dagar gets bail the next day and returns home defiant ... Daadi Amma should be called and notified about what her Pota has been upto! She should be suitably scandalized and return to Dagar Mansion to get the details ... the Sethis should give her a good piece of their mind at which time she will find out about Neetu's pregnancy and begin to back-paddle on her chastising of Nakul ... there should be a confrontation between Omi and his granny about how he will continue to support his wife and demand that Dagar Enterprises/Properties be divvied up between the 2 brothers ... the rift will separate the 2 ... N.S. Dagar will continue to lead a life of leisure since the wheels of justice in that country move at a snail's pace and he can hire the best lawyers to handle his case ...

After the Sethis return from the Hospital, we need to start the Iceberg thaw ... Simi may thank Abhi for his never ending valiance ... at which point he could continue to be cold and tell her that he's now been relieved of his employment - thanks to her ... well ... it's her turn to get really pissed off and state that enough is enough ... they need to get their marriage back on an amicable footing if there is to be a marriage at all ... does he want out? 'Cause she does not ... as part of that discussion he might suggest that he's not sure that she even cares for him much less love him ... she will admit that she loves him sorely and could not imagine life without him (is this OK Laila? 😊) ... so while they're not going to make mad passionate love right after that, let's have them at least begin warming to each other (well, there was no passionate anything on the Suhaag night either ... someone ought to tell him that being fully clothed is the best contraceptive there is! Which is why, unlike her sis, she's not pregnant 😕) ... he also insists that they find a place of their own to put distance between Bhalla and them ... and now that the shop is open for business, money should be less of any issue for the Sethis ... he's also gotta look for another job ... and here, he should go help Omi run his part of Dagar Enterprises - given how Omi is a neophyte (and soft in the head) and our man hubby Abhi is an IIM grad! When demon Dagar finds this out, he's going to send a mole into that part of Dagar Enterprises to keep tab on what's happening on the business end of things ... his continued attempts to destroy his rivals ... 'cept hubby Abhi will discover this and feed the mole false information ...

On the Sethi Jr. front ... I dunno if this has any legal implications in India, but given that the embryo has contributions from both parents, cannot Anuj insist that no abortion be performed since he's happy to raise the child on his own? In any event, we should have Anita & Anuj divorce ... Anita can go help Poppa T. at Taneja Industries and she can continue to harangue Simi & Abhi via the business (we can't just have NahKool on the war front) ... harangue Anuj via the child ... we'll worry about Anita and Anuj getting re-married at a later time.

Mili is going to be fairly traumatized which means she needs counseling and for now the Roka, Mangni, and Shaadi have all to be roko-ed! Beedi can go back to Lundun town to finish off that remaining semester and the Mathur Sr.s can tend to their future dinlaw ... we'll worry about this story line a little later.

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pageant101 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#2

Originally posted by: SValeCalGal

This write-up is on someone's behest ... my take on what it would take to get this ship back on an even keel (I would never have had KB enter these shark infested waters in the first place), but given that that's where we are ...

Feel free to add, subtract with only one proviso - make sure the tale remains cogent, not senseless goop melange!

We should have the Neetu/Omi budding lovers return to home-not-so-sweet-home only to find the place in a helter-skelter state and notice Mili's phone on the floor ... Abhi should call the police and return to Dagar Mansion to await their arrival ... he'll encounter a completely befuddled Omi&Neetu and explain what may be underway ... the police should arrive and call reinforcements to go search the neighborhood for Mili ... they might arrive to witness Mili being attacked and take N.S. Dagar back to the Thana for an overnight stay at that swanky joint ... Mili should be taken to City Hospital for rest and repair ... Abhi should call the folks at the Pink Palace and have everyone assemble at the Hospital where recriminations should be heaped by the ton on the demon ... Anuj is ready to of course slaughter the older Dagar ... the Mathurs should arrive as well and Vishal will be bent on taking that same iron rod that Simi wielded, to the rogue's back and behind ... but first we have to concentrate on getting Mili back to health ... the police will take her statement ... NahKool's nefarious intentions towards his brother and sinlaw will come to the fore ... to the charges for attempted rape is added the charge for attempted murder ...

N.S. Dagar gets bail the next day and returns home defiant ... Daadi Amma should be called and notified about what her Pota has been upto! She should be suitably scandalized and return to Dagar Mansion to get the details ... the Sethis should give her a good piece of their mind at which time she will find out about Neetu's pregnancy and begin to back-paddle on her chastising of Nakul ... there should be a confrontation between Omi and his granny about how he will continue to support his wife and demand that Dagar Enterprises/Properties be divvied up between the 2 brothers ... the rift will separate the 2 ... N.S. Dagar will continue to lead a life of leisure since the wheels of justice in that country move at a snail's pace and he can hire the best lawyers to handle his case ...

After the Sethis return from the Hospital, we need to start the Iceberg thaw ... Simi may thank Abhi for his never ending valiance ... at which point he could continue to be cold and tell her that he's now been relieved of his employment - thanks to her ... well ... it's her turn to get really pissed off and state that enough is enough ... they need to get their marriage back on an amicable footing if there is to be a marriage at all ... does he want out? 'Cause she does not ... as part of that discussion he might suggest that he's not sure that she even cares for him much less love him ... she will admit that she loves him sorely and could not imagine life without him (is this OK Laila? 😊) ... so while they're not going to make mad passionate love right after that, let's have them at least begin warming to each other (well, there was no passionate anything on the Suhaag night either ... someone ought to tell him that being fully clothed is the best contraceptive there is! Which is why, unlike her sis, she's not pregnant 😕) ... he also insists that they find a place of their own to put distance between Bhalla and them ... and now that the shop is open for business, money should be less of any issue for the Sethis ... he's also gotta look for another job ... and here, he should go help Omi run his part of Dagar Enterprises - given how Omi is a neophyte (and soft in the head) and our man hubby Abhi is an IIM grad! When demon Dagar finds this out, he's going to send a mole into that part of Dagar Enterprises to keep tab on what's happening on the business end of things ... his continued attempts to destroy his rivals ... 'cept hubby Abhi will discover this and feed the mole false information ...

On the Sethi Jr. front ... I dunno if this has any legal implications in India, but given that the embryo has contributions from both parents, cannot Anuj insist that no abortion be performed since he's happy to raise the child on his own? In any event, we should have Anita & Anuj divorce ... Anita can go help Poppa T. at Taneja Industries and she can continue to harangue Simi & Abhi via the business (we can't just have NahKool on the war front) ... harangue Anuj via the child ... we'll worry about Anita and Anuj getting re-married at a later time.

Mili is going to be fairly traumatized which means she needs counseling and for now the Roka, Mangni, and Shaadi have all to be roko-ed! Beedi can go back to Lundun town to finish off that remaining semester and the Mathur Sr.s can tend to their future dinlaw ... we'll worry about this story line a little later.



Hey D. well put and depicted time for a carer change D. and this is all how it should be written ..instead their wasteful and outrageous drama we the viewers are being misused and slapped upon time after time...We should mail this to the Sunshiners ..But there is a problem?. They just hired the new creatives and for them they are the best team as according to our phone calls to Zee...I liked the idea of just getting the tickets and giving these morons a visit and personally bashing them at CHATARPUR EXPRESS !! Too bad for them because they have squandered, and dissipated this entire wonderful and promising drama and misused their creative powers.. My number one plan is still to go and pay them a visit...this summer..??
😍

(I would never have had KB enter these shark infested waters in the first place),

SOLUTIONS ONLY .... D... AT THIS POINT WE...ALREADY ARE IN THE DEEP
🤬🤣


Edited by SaNiCo - 15 years ago
461075 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#3
They just hired the new creatives and for them they are the best team as according to our phone calls to Zee
You tell me who to call at Zee ... I'll let them know whether this team is the best or not! Which moron claimed this anyway?!! How do they know they're the best??!! What comparative assessment exercise have they gone through with this team??!! If this is the best they can do, we'll help them out - gratis!!!
pageant101 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: SValeCalGal

They just hired the new creatives and for them they are the best team as according to our phone calls to Zee

You tell me who to call at Zee ... I'll let them know whether this team is the best or not! Which moron claimed this anyway?!! How do they know they're the best??!! What comparative assessment exercise have they gone through with this team??!! If this is the best they can do, we'll help them out - gratis!!!



HERE YOU GO D.
GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT ;AND GOOD LUCK


011-91-22-249-43416

OR

011-91-22-249-55555

THEY WILL BE CLOSED TILL MONDAY.⭐️⭐️

461075 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#5
Monday is a day-off for us, so I should have plenty of time!
My suggestions are already too late ...I just read some nonsense about Mili undergoing a complete change after this episode (imagine that!!!) ... Abhi finds her and the 2 agree to not let anyone in the family know (which means that somehow all the tell-tale marks on her body have been magically obliterated so that no one's suspicion is aroused when they return home!!!) ... this so the Roka etc can proceed!!! Gee Whiz, I guess Beedi is in for a mighty big surprise - can just see it ... Suhaag Raat and she don't wanna have a thing to do with him!!!
I guess rapes are the latest craze ...
What utter RUBBISH!!
Laila2009 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 15 years ago
#6
Honestly? I know you can handle it...😉
What is the storyline? What is the main conflict or struggle the characters are going through in this storyline? NONE. In a good storyline a character learns to grow from the struggles and conflicts they experience. There is no conflict, nothing with which to feel tense about. I didn't want to read more. The basic steps of a plot are: conflict begins, things go right, things go WRONG, final victory (or defeat), and wrap-up. The right-wrong steps can repeat. A good storyline also takes character faults and qualities and uses them in plot twist - what's the twist?
What you have done is just wrap up the story - is that what you are intending?
461075 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#7
What is the storyline? What is the main conflict or struggle the characters are going through in this storyline? NONE.
Laila - you may have stopped reading - which is fine (and I can take critique). However, it appears that you missed reading the title ... there were 2 rather defining terms that fell on your blind spot, so let me point them out to you -
First - bringing the boat back for repair ... this means the initial steps to restore sanity ... this is a reset mechanism ...
Second - 'Part I' ... this means that the story unfolds incrementally ... hence this was a synopsis... and incomplete at that!
With regard to your assertion that a good storyline necessarily involves personal struggles, conflicts that finally lead to growth ... I disagree ... quite vehemently ... stories can be riveting even without that as a constant ...
In my defense, while skeletal, I did provide a scenario where Abhi and his wife need to resolve their issues (you were complaining quite bitterly about how Simi has never professed her love for Abhi) ... perhaps you did not read this far ... I also had parts that alluded to a conflict between the Dagar brothers at both a personal and professional level ... I have suggested Mili's trauma ... I have suggested on-going conflict between Anuj and Anita ... so clearly conflict is not missing ...
Most importantly, I even solicited additions and subtractions - even to this coarse outline - as long as they were cogent ... this was at the beginning ... surely you read that far ... I see that you have not suggested changes ...
A story has not been wrapped-up ... it's only been initiated ...
Edited by SValeCalGal - 15 years ago

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