It was the rattle of a trolley that drew him from his slumber. Confusion at their surroundings was the first thing to register. On realizing that they were in a hospital, it was her familiar scent and softness next to him lessened the initial panic that overtook him. He looked down at her and remembering exactly when she had started to drawn herself into a ever-smaller foetal position as the night had progressed. She had only relaxed into a more normal position when he had rubbed her back, but had lain still – as if any movement would alert someone of her presence.
He heard the shuffling of feet and turned to look in the general direction. From what he could determine Khushi was still asleep, and he did not want anyone to disturb her.He noticed the one nurse carefully making her way into the room, only for her to stop dead in her tracks on noticing that he was awake.
The nurse lifted a finger to her lips and whispered, ‘It’s the first time I have known her to sleep since she’s been here.’
Arnav shifted,uncertainty as to the nurse’s intention caused his heart to race, but instead of lashing out at her he asked, ‘What do you want?’
The nurse pointed to the door and said, ‘There’s someone waiting for you outside.’
Arnav felt his brow furrow and carefully extracted himself from around Khushi. He tucked the blanket closer around her before turning towards the door. Well aware of his crumpled clothes and dishevelled appearance, he still made his way to the door.He looked back towards the nurse, who was in the process of re-making his cot.
Arnav got as far as the door and then halted, as if it was almost impossible to take the step beyond its threshold without her. A hand landed on his shoulder, causing his heart race ashe swung round. Arnav for a moment looked at his personal assistant. ‘Aman?’ he questioned, surprised to see the man there that early.
‘Good morning Arnav sir,’ Aman said and then extended the bag he was carrying. ‘A change of clothing, some toiletries and your laptop.’
Arnav took the bag, not bothering to check the contents.
‘This arrived yesterday,‘Aman said pulling out an envelope Arnav immediately recognized as the same one a staff member had attempted to hand him the day before.
Not really in the mood for work related matters, Arnav asked, ‘Is it important?’
Aman looked at him for a moment, with obvious uncertainty displayed on his face, he however held it hoisted as he said, ‘I would consider its contents to be of utter importance.’
Arnav took the envelope from Aman. A scraping sound could be heard as the envelope’s contents shifted against the paper. He opened the envelope and tipped its contents onto his hand.His heart stopped for a moment on recognizing Khushi’s mangal-sutra.
‘I had its arrival at the office traced.’ Aman started, ‘A young boy dropped it at the office for two-hundred rupees.’
Arnav looked at the chain, for a moment relieved because they had it back. Khushi had another, but this particular one he would recognize anywhere, it was the one he had placed around her neck the second time they had gotten married. It was the one she most frequently wore and he knew it meant the world to her.
‘But this arrived yesterday,’ Arnav said in disbelief, ‘They no longer had her.’
‘I think it was to keep you busy and off their trail. I don’t think the actually realized the actual extent of our search. I’ve also come to believe that the reason they chose to bring her to this hospital was because it is new. It also means that they don’t yet know that we have found her.’
‘Regardless of why they brought her here, they hurt her, and that is unforgivable.’ Arnav seethed as his hand closed around the chain. ‘I will not spare them.’
‘We will have to be vigilant when we return to Delhi.’ Aman said.
‘I want you to start interviews for an assistant slash bodyguard for her. There’s no way I’ll allow her to go anywhere on her own again.’
‘But sir,’ Aman started only to be cut short.
‘Find some way of doing it covertly, without disclosing the full details of the job. The person we decide on can be fully briefed.’ An itchy sensation started on Arnav’s skin causing him to look around, he then said. ‘As soon as we are done here today,whether she is discharged or not, I’ll move her. I will deal with the details as soon as the doctor has seen her. If they brought her here there is no way I’ll give them the opportunity to take her again.’ Arnav then turned to look into the room and noticed that Khushi was awake. ‘Khushi is awake,’ Arnav stated and then looked at the mangal-sutra in his hand, for a moment hesitant. He did not know if he should return it to her, he had no way of knowing what other memories had recently been attached to it.
The doctors still had to determine the exact extent of psychological damage she had endured and he did not want to complicate matters. They had no way of knowing exactly was wrong with her, or how much she did or did not remember, which made it all the more difficult to determine a fitting response.
he knew that he should give her the opportunity to choose whether to go home or to her aunt’s house,and that it in all likelihood would indicate her frame of mind, but his inherent need to keep her close brought forth the need to even manipulate such a choice in his favour. He needed to know what he was dealing with, whether she had forgotten anything, and what the reason for her detachment was. But even before he could take any action, an orderly indicated for them to move out of the doorway.
‘What the!’ Arnav exclaimed as the man pushed a large piece of equipment into Khushi’s room. Arnav said as he set off after them, with Aman following his lead. Moments later a nurse entered the room and gestured to the orderly to position the machine next to the bed. Almost immediately they started setting up the machine, plugging it into the power point and switched it on. They plugged in a series of wires and cables, working with an almost alarming level of efficiency.
Arnav felt his hands clench into fists as he demanded, ‘What the hell is going on here?’
The nurse, seemingly unaffected by his tone, continued with the preparations as she spoke, ‘An urgent request was made last night for a sonar, but the obstetrics is fully booked today. So we’ve quickly come to do the sonar before the obstetrics division opens for day patients.’
Even thought he had been waiting for them, he hoped for a little more time to prepare himself for whatever inevitable outcome.
He looked at Khushi, who appeared to be as indifferent to their arrival as she had been about everything else
He turned to Aman and said, ‘See if you can find her doctor, I need to know what’s going on.’
Aman nodded and then left the room.
Arnav lowered his bag to next to the bed and quickly ran his finger through his hair, hoping it would give it some semblance of order, and asked the nurse, ‘How long will this take?’
‘It will take a few minutes to set up, then about five to ten minutes to perform the scan, we are just waiting for the doctor.’
Arnav watched as they uncoiled a series of probes and turned on the screens, his eyes glancing between Khushi and the machine not knowing what to say to her.
Several moments later a female doctor entered the room and greeted everyone in general with a neutral,‘Good morning.’ She looked Khushi over and then picked up her file. She read and leafed through several of the pages before turning to Arnav, ‘A moment sir?’ and gesturing for him to accompany her.
Arnav nodded and moved with her
She was short and to the point, ‘Doctor Govender discussed your wife’s case with me just now, he said that I should speak to you before performing the procedure.’ Arnav’s entire body stiffened even before the doctor could continue, ‘Relax sir, the procedure is completely safe and pain free.’
Arnav nodded, calming some. He then waited for the doctor to continue.
‘Doctor Govender felt it imperative that I speak with you before we do the procedure, as these decisions often need to be made with a cool mind, not emotions.’
Arnav could feel his ire rise not liking the direction the conversation was taking, but nodded in reply.
‘I have looked at your wife’s hCG levels. From appearances she has either lost the child or may be pregnant, just not as far as you believe her to be…’ The doctor left the rest unsaid as she continued, ‘Since Missus is currently incapable of voicing her decision, a decision regarding this will have to be made by you.. So before I start I am going to present you with the options available.’
Arnav again nodded, as a gesture for the doctor to continue.
‘Should Missus have lost the baby, we will have to schedule her for a D-and-C to ensure that nothing remained behind that could hamper the chances of her falling pregnant in the future.’ Arnav could feel his stomach twist sharply at that. ‘Should we do the scan and it is found that she is indeed pregnant but the timeline suggests that the child is not yours, then we can also schedule her for a D-and-C to remove the unwanted foetus.’
Arnav felt his blood boil, even just the thought of another man touching his wife was enough to entice him into committing murder – to the person touching his wife that is. No matter how hard he tried he could not contemplate such a possibility. He knew that such a child would forever be a reminder that someone else had touched his wife, worse still was the fact that her first born would then belong to another man. At that moment he understood how Khushi had felt with the notion that Aarav was his and Sheetal’s son. He thought the situation over, again realizing that Khushi had a far bigger heart than he. He uncertainty looked at the doctor, unknowing which decision he would be able to live with if that were the case. He had no intention of hurting either himself or an innocent child, but he knew that the constant reminder would be a problem for him.
When Arnav did not respond, the doctor again spoke. ‘I have however made arrangement for a D-and-C to be performed tonight, It can be cancelled. I however believe that if the baby is not yours, it would be better to be rid of it and allow her enough time to completely heal without the trauma of carrying an unwanted baby. However whatever happens, it will be up to you to decide and inform her as to the reason why she will be placed under anesthesia, as you would have to sign the consent forms.’
Arnav felt sick to his stomach, but even knowing that the chances were slim, he had to ask, ‘And if her pregnancy is further advanced?’
‘Mister Singh Raizada, Ideal with the hopes and dreams of many people on a daily basis, and that is why I have become unbiased enough to bluntly inform you to not get your hopes up.There are too many things pointing against this. Your hopes would most likely be dashed, not to mention possible complications that might have, or may still arise from such a pregnancy.’
Arnav nodded, ‘I understand. I just don’t know if I could do something like that to her.’
The doctor then returned to where the nurse stood waiting and instructed her to start preparing Khushi. The sister made to lift the salwaar top, however Khushi immediately countered the action by pinning the fabric to her body.
The action caused Arnav to frown. He had no idea how he should interpret her actions. Until then, Khushi had not shown any resistance… unless she was hiding something – something that suddenly made him very crotchety. He wanted the action to indicate something positive, but instead saw it as a forewarning of things to come.
Arnav moved closer and placed a hand on her shoulder. The action effectively stilled everyone. ‘Khushi,relax, they are just going to do a scan to check if the baby is okay,’ only once those words had been uttered did he realize the trepidation he himself felt.Quickly he added. ‘We need to know Khushi so that the doctors can take the right decisions regarding your treatments.’
It was her trust, her faith that he would do what is right that flummoxed him. Khushi did not look at him or say anything in reply, but within moments of him having spoken the words she allowed the nurse to lift the lower part of her top.
They then helped her to settle into position. Her unspoken willingness in itself upset him, for he remained uncertain as to whether she even knew anything or thought herself still pregnant.
She was thin far too thin, it was only when they lifted her suit top high enough that he could see it. Her stomach appeared too flat for a woman that far along. Arnav steeled himself against the disappointment. He understood then what the doctor had been trying to tell him, and that he should not have fostered any hope when the inevitable seemed most likely.
The nurse squeezed some of the clear conduit gel over her abdomen and made way for the doctor.
The doctor then seated herself and took the proffered probe from the nurse before turning to the machine and altering some of the settings. She then turned to Khushi and said with an encouraging voice. ‘Right, so let’s have a look-see at what we have here.’
The doctor first slid the probe over the gel to lubricate the entire abdomen area and then pulled it upright to start, at the same moment she exclaimed, ‘What the?’
The two words instantly drew Arnav’s attention and he quickly demanded, ‘What’s wrong?’
‘This is highly unlikely,’ the doctor said as she moved the probe around. Finally holding the probe in position she pointed to the screen and Arnav felt his heart stop. He was unwilling to even accept that another man had even touched Khushi.
The doctor turned to him and asked, ‘How far along did you say she was?’
Stunned, Arnav looked at the doctor and tried to compute the answer, ‘She should be about twelve to fourteen weeks… She was about eight weeks along when it was confirmed.’
The doctor moved the probe about and flipped a setting on the machine before again holding the probe in position. ‘There,’ she said pointing to the screen.
Arnav’s entire body became still, his gaze fixed on the position on the screen the doctor had pointed to.
‘It should not be but it is.’ The doctor said before pressing the printer button, ‘ The low levels of hCG might be because the baby is small.’
‘Small?’ Arnav asked,uncertain as to what he should be thinking or feeling.
‘The hCG levels only indicate whether the hormone levels are sufficient to sustain a pregnancy, but the development seems fine. The baby is a bit small, so it will be difficult to accurately age the baby but its development suggests the pregnancy is well past ten weeks.’
Arnav chanced a glance at Khushi and saw her eyes fixed to the screen, unmoving. He had no idea as to what she was feeling, his own feelings too confusing, yet he knew she had to be in as much turmoil as he was. He did not know which emotion was predominant,his shock, joy or disbelief.
His attention was drawn back when the doctor said, ‘She will need to take in more fluids, the amniotic fluid is lacking.’ The doctor flicked another switch on the machine and within moments the little one’s heartbeat filled the otherwise silent room. ‘I’m just going to check if everything is as it should be and then I will talk with Doctor Governder, he will then explain to you your options.’
Arnav cringed at the doctor’s directness, his gaze however remained on the screen. Nausea and excitement fought for dominance. Without thought he reached for her hand and squeezed her fingers.
Khushi’s hand shifted in his, causing him to look at her. The action had been the first conscious one from her. He looked into her eyes, and although the remained blank he somehow understood t he question.
‘Is everything okay?’ he asked the doctor, his gaze locked with Khushi as he waited the answer.
‘Other than the baby being small, it seems fine. I can try and sex it for you if you like.’
‘You can do that?’ Arnav asked, his attention again drawn to the screen
‘The baby is still a bit young for it to be absolutely accurate, but if the baby complies we can establish its sex with a great degree of certainty.’ The doctor said before moving the probe about. She finally shook her head as she said, ‘The baby is unwilling to let us check– I would sometimes tease and say it is a girl, but I have been wrong more often than not.’ The doctor then tore off some of the paper towelling and cleaned the probe, pointing to the nurse to tend to Khushi.
She placed the probe back on the trolley and then tore off the series of printouts. She handed one to Arnav and then picked up Khushi’s file, placing the others within it and filling out the form.
The doctor then turned to the nurse and orderly and said, ‘Ensure this machine gets back to obstetrics as soon as possible.’ She then turned to Arnav and said, ‘I’ll speak with Doctor Governder, but she will not need to go to theatre this afternoon. I will place a prescription for her on file and Doctor Governder will discuss matters with you when he sees you later.’ The doctor then gestured for Arnav to accompany her to the door while the others packed up the equipment and saw to Khushi.
‘Usually I would say congratulations,’ The doctor started. Arnav felt his heart sink. ‘…However,given the circumstances there are several matters that need to be discussed,especially since she is unaware of the danger both her and the baby are in.’
Panicked, Arnav asked,‘Danger?’
‘There is a real possibility that she can still lose the baby, I’m not even going to beat around the bush there. Moreover, I don’t think she is in any condition to see this through, but she is too far along to legally remove it.’
‘Is there anything wrong with the baby?’
‘The baby has none of the symptoms we check for during these checks, so physically nothing is wrong with its development. I cannot say that the stress she has been under to this point would not affect the baby.’
Arnav nodded.
Just the Aman appeared,‘The doctor said she’s on his rounds so he’ll see her a little later.’
Arnav waited for the obstetrician to leave before returning to the room. He picked up his bag and pulled out his laptop. Handing it to Aman he said, ‘Stay here and keep an eye on her, I am just going to change and then we can arrange for some breakfast. I don’t care who says what Khushi’s going home with me today.’
‘Is she okay?’ Aman asked.
Arnav nodded, ‘Although the baby we’re not certain of.’
‘She’s still?’
Arnav just nodded and pointed to the bathroom, ‘I’ll be in there, you don’t even dare move from this room.’
Aman stoically sat in the chair closest to the door. He would periodically glance at Khushi, who said nothing and seemed lost in whatever program was on.
Arnav returned some time later to find Aman checking her morning keer. The man handed it to her and Arnav took some solace in the fact that she made an effort to eat it.
‘Aman,’ Arnav started, but then hesitated for only for a moment, ‘Tell everyone that they are to have a veneration at the temple tonight. That should clear out the house long enough for me to get Khushi settled at home.’
‘What should they be praying for? You know Anjali will ask.’
‘I don’t know. I just need to get them out of the house. So think of something, have the priests invite them if you must.’
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