THE "CLEAN GUY" CRISIS

Ongoing G

Summary: [Misfits Universe] The 60-40 Clause: De-Puppying the Malhotra “I’ll give you 60% of the profits, Pari! I’ll do that indie film! Just please... stop the wailing!” It was the "Prank of the Decade," and Sidharth Malhotra walked straight into it. During a live-streamed segment, Parineeti Chopra decided to test just how "Nice" her favorite co-star really is. With a few fake sniffles and an Oscar-worthy quivering lip, she watched in hidden glee as Sidharth—bless his "Clean Guy" heart—went into a total tailspin. Panicked by a single tear, Sid didn't just apologize; he started offering her his profit shares, his next dates, and basically his entire life’s savings just to make her smile again. By the time Pari revealed she was actually bone-dry and just having a laugh, the damage was done. The internet had a new favorite clip, and Sidharth had a new nickname: #AnxiousPuppy. 🐶 Tired of being the guy who panics at the sight of a tissue, Sid decides he needs a "personality upgrade." He turns to the king of "Cool, Calm, and Unbothered"—Barun Sobti. Now, the Dark Sensei is putting Sid through Intensity Boot Camp, teaching him that he doesn't need to apologize for existing. On the sets of their 2026 thriller, the tables are turning: The Sobti Stare: Sid is learning that silence is a weapon (though he still mostly looks like he’s trying to remember if he locked his car). The ‘Abhi Nahi’ Protocol: Two words designed to give Pari a taste of her own chaotic medicine. The Revenge: Sid is determined to prove he can be "Lethal," while Pari is determined to make him crack a smile. Presented in script format with authentic Hinglish dialogues, this story dives into the hilarious, high-stakes chaos behind the velvet ropes of Bollywood. With Karan Johar acting as the frantic referee in their WhatsApp group and Barun watching his "student" with amused pride, the battle of the besties is on. Can Sidharth actually pull off 'The Wolf', or will he always be the "Good Boy" who offers you his house if you look a little sad? The Misfits: Character Roster Sidharth Malhotra: AKA The #AnxiousPuppy. Our leading man, trying desperately to level up from "Golden Retriever" to "Grizzly Bear." His face naturally defaults to "nice," which is a HUGE problem for his new "Lethal" vibe. Parineeti Chopra: AKA The #PrankQueen. The mastermind behind Sid's biggest on-air humiliation. She’s not mean, just exceptionally good at finding people’s panic buttons. Her mission in life: make Sidharth blush. Barun Sobti: AKA The #DarkSensei. The guru of all things stoic and mysterious. He makes "not reacting" an art form. Currently, he’s reluctantly mentoring Sidharth, mostly because he finds Sidharth’s attempts at intensity hilariously sad. Karan Johar: AKA The #DesignerReferee. The "Godfather" of the group, trying to manage star egos, movie profits, and WhatsApp group drama—all while wearing something fabulous. His biggest fear: a leaked chat and a lawsuit. Author's Note: Namaste and Hello IF-ians! Welcome to the world of The Misfits. This story was born out of a "What If?" scenario: What if our favorite Bollywood 'Good Boy' Sidharth Malhotra finally snapped under the weight of Parineeti Chopra’s legendary trolling? And what if he went to the one person who has mastered the art of being "Unbothered"—the one and only Barun Sobti—for coaching? A few things to keep in mind before you dive in: The Format: To give you a "fly-on-the-wall" feel of a film set, I’ve written this entirely in Script Form. The Language: The dialogues are in Hinglish, exactly how the stars talk behind the scenes. It’s raw, it’s chaotic, and it’s peak Dilli-meets-Mumbai energy. The Vibe: This is a lighthearted meta-comedy. While I’ve referenced real-life events (like the Ek Villain promotions or their iconic friendship), the situations are fictional and purely for entertainment. No offense is intended toward the stars—I’m a fan of them all! The "Barun" Factor: As a huge fan of Barun’s "Intensity," I couldn't resist making him the 'Sensei' in this universe. Seeing him interact with 'Hero Sid' is a crossover I think we all secretly need. Special thanks to the r/DesiCinephiles community for the "leaked" inspiration and memes that sparked this idea. Grab your popcorn (and maybe a tissue for the laughing fits). I hope you enjoy the journey from Anxious Puppy to Lethal Mystery! Happy Reading! Trigger Warning: Please Proceed with Caution: Second-Hand Embarrassment: Side effects include face-palming at Sidharth’s attempts to be "intense." Extreme Sarcasm: Mostly courtesy of Parineeti Chopra. Barun Sobti’s "Dead-Eyes": May cause fans to forget how to breathe. Puppy Eyes: Sidharth Malhotra’s "Good Boy" energy is infectious and may be hard to resist. Uncontrolled Laughter: Read in public at your own risk. Note: This is a work of Fiction. No actors were actually harmed, although Sidharth’s ego took a significant hit during the making of this story.