Unfairness with Abhir - Page 2

Originally posted by: Krinya

Abhir must know but I don't agree that this was the time..a 6 yr old witnessing the death of a loved one is traumatizing ...kids live with those memories forever and it may scar them deeply...in the hospital may be they should have let abhir and abhin see each other for the last time , but not in the funeral..itv logic is anyways bakwas , the wife can't do the last rites( women are not allowed to do this in Hindu culture) ...kairav or BP could..

Akshara can tell him later ..

The culture definitely needs to change than. More rules men made lol.

Originally posted by: Kabhi18

quoted text removed

Ofcourse it works like this from abhimanyu accident track original story changed and it became udaipur to kasauli to udaipur to make him relevant ,this love angle was never in story but they added to make him relevant and degrade fl character

DT edited: bullying

Originally posted by: SakZ

I agree with you. But 6 years old visit funerals as a normal thing in India though.
women may not be allowed to do the last rites (i am not a hindu so can’t tell) but there are women who done that in real life.

Yes. They are forced to the funeral homes bec women are normally not allowed to perform the rites. So a son must do it irrespective of the age..it was just my opinion that it will be traumatizing for the child ....its natural that a child won't be asked ..they go by what the adults ask them to do..

Women do it out of stubbornness but it's not allowed as per the Hindu culture..i don't agree to it but they say unka kiya kuch bhi nai lagega , means the deceased won't get mukti

Originally posted by: Kabhi18

The culture definitely needs to change than. More rules men made lol.

I didn't make the rules and it's not my place to question them..nothing will change if I do ..I was stating the facts..jisko jo karna hai anyways karta hai in reel and real 😆I'm neither a believer nor an aetheist

By not revealing, Akshara and Goenkas stole the last chance of a child to say goodbye to Abhinav. The scars will be much deeper.

The poor child is waiting for him and all he will get is a rude shock.

Originally posted by: Krinya

Yes. They are forced to the funeral homes bec women are normally not allowed to perform the rites. So a son must do it irrespective of the age..it was just my opinion that it will be traumatizing for the child ....its natural that a child won't be asked ..they go by what the adults ask them to do..

Women do it out of stubbornness but it's not allowed as per the Hindu culture..i don't agree to it but they say unka kiya kuch bhi nai lagega , means the deceased won't get mukti

I am talking about children from all religions. Children from other religions have no such last rites to do. They are brought for visiting for the last time. I wont say they are “forced” in the literal meaning.

I won’t say women do that out of stubbornness. I will never say asking for equal rights and consideration Is stubbornness and saying it is stubbornness is sexist.

I don't know how I feel about this, tbh.

I was 8 when I lost my mama, and it was a traumatic death. I don't remember her anymore like i don't see her picture clearly in my head, and i can't differentiate between imagination and real memories, but that day never leaves my mind, even 20 years later. I think the trauma of that day overtook all of my memories of her. I was still too young to understand death, so in a way, I knew she would never come back, but somewhere, naively, I hoped for a miracle that she would for the next couple of years.

I got to know before her funeral, not through my dad, maasi or family but through a neighbour's son who went to check on the shouting and crowd outside.

I didn't get to see her body because it wasn't in a state to be seen, but I still remember the casket in my Nani's yard, and that's the last image of her etched in my mind.

I think there is no right or wrong way to do this. Knowing is painful, and so is not knowing, but if you ask me, I would rather not have that image of her in my mind. I wish I didn't know then, and my last memory of her was the last time I hugged her goodbye before I left for my dad's place or the last time I spoke to her on the phone, but they aren't.

All I remember is trying to get her on the phone and feeling like something was wrong but unable to explain it. I would do just about anything to erase that night from my head.

Originally posted by: SakZ

I am talking about children from all religions. Children from other religions have no such last rites to do. They are brought for visiting for the last time. I wont say they are “forced” in the literal meaning.

I won’t say women do that out of stubbornness. I will never say asking for equal rights and consideration Is stubbornness and saying it is stubbornness is sexist.

What I meant was ..this change came about only bec of their stubbornness to not follow the laid out rules. Earlier they were not allowed in the funeral homes.. now the daughters or wives insist on doing it... they do it but the priests and elders of the family warn them that the deceased won't get gati ..they do it anyways...nothing right or wrong about it....its an individuals choice.

Every change comes about with stubbornness only.

When I attend the funerals, in my society , only the men perform the last rites while women are spectators , watching them from far off. Sorry I have no idea of other religions...I'm talking abt Hindu religion ..

Originally posted by: misfit007

I don't know how I feel about this, tbh.

I was 8 when I lost my mama, and it was a traumatic death. I don't remember her anymore like i don't see her picture clearly in my head, and i can't differentiate between imagination and real memories, but that day never leaves my mind, even 20 years later. I think the trauma of that day overtook all of my memories of her. I was still too young to understand death, so in a way, I knew she would never come back, but somewhere, naively, I hoped for a miracle that she would for the next couple of years.

I got to know before her funeral, not through my dad, maasi or family but through a neighbour's son who went to check on the shouting and crowd outside.

I didn't get to see her body because it wasn't in a state to be seen, but I still remember the casket in my Nani's yard, and that's the last image of her etched in my mind.

I think there is no right or wrong way to do this. Knowing is painful, and so is not knowing, but if you ask me, I would rather not have that image of her in my mind. I wish I didn't know then, and my last memory of her was the last time I hugged her goodbye before I left for my dad's place or the last time I spoke to her on the phone, but they aren't.

All I remember is trying to get her on the phone and feeling like something was wrong but unable to explain it. I would do just about anything to erase that night from my head.

Thx for your perspective ❤️Totally agree..

Originally posted by: Gayathrirau

I completely agree that abhir should have known about abhinavs ns he has the right to do the rites and say goodbye to abhinav.

But to play devil's advocate, telling a 6 year old boy that his father is no more and he will never come back is something that is very hard and complicated to say. He will say goodbye to a liveless abhinav who wouldn't call him nikkeji or aara. He will not respond to abhir when he will try to call him up from his sleep is too emotional.

Then his health condition is also very crucial as he just went through heart surgery. He shouldnt stress or be emotional too much. He would probably have medications to take (logically as the show didn't show this). He might deny to eat food or medication and they need to handle him very carefully.

Lastly, when he recovers from this emotional stress, his last image of his father is when abhinav was going away smiling and waving goodbye to him. That is the best image for a kid to have of his father than a lifeless body that is cold and unresponsive and has many wounds here and there. That is going to be more traumatizing for a small kid. At least once he accepts the fact that his father is no more, he can remember his smiling father and the fun they had at the birthday not the cold hard truth that came after. So in a way, it might be better for the kid.

@bold Agreed.. Abhir's health condition can most likely deteriorate which shouldn't be the case given the recent surgery.

I've read all opinions on the thread... people rightly seem to have a difference of opinion here.. bcos in such situations there's actually no ideal way to pursue... but I'll still lean in favour of Abhir knowing.

The kid is waiting for his father. How long can they hide it? When they'll break it he'll have tens of questions. He'll definitely ask to see his father the last time.. Will Goenkas reveal then that since he was young they didn't tell him before bcos if they hide stuff about Abhinav's death and Abhir learns from someone else that'll also shake his faith on his elders.

Abhir is too young to do the last rites or even go to the cremation ground to witness those things.. It's better Akshara did it herself but I feel Abhir should be allowed to say bye to his father.