Let's talk about Abhir. And Abhimanyu today. - Page 2

Agree with all your points

It was really quite heartwarming to see Abhir didn't forget his papa and went back to feed the cake ❤️ it would have been very unrealistic if they had showed him feed the cake to Abhi.

Though, I did feel bad for Abhi too. Yup he messed up big time in the past but it must be tough seeing his son call someone else as papa. I do hope he learns from his earlier mistakes and doesn't mess up this time. He can't behave possessively and want Abhir only for himself because it would affect Abhir badly who grew up knowing AkshNav as his parents.

Agree regarding the parenting aspects. AkshNav have been wonderful parents to Abhir and he has grown up into a very well behaved and sensible kid. Ruhi on the other hand has been spoilt by Manjari and Abhi. They seem to think getting her everything she wants is good parenting. Somewhere I feel Abhi feels guilty for Neel's death and tries to overcompensate for that. He kind of needs validation that he is taking care of Ruhi properly. He seems to be scared that if he says no to her for anything everyone might think he doesn't love her enough because she is not his own kid. He seems to have raised her like his brother's kid rather than his own. Not saying he doesn't love her he definitely cares a lot but is somewhere not a parent to her.

On the other hand Abhinav has raised Abhir like his own son. He is very grateful for having Abhir and Akshara in his life and pampers Abhir a lot but never shies away from reprimanding him if he thinks he has done something wrong like when he had troubled Abhi. And in Abhir's case, AkshNav are always a team if they have to teach him something. They usually don't override each other in front of him.

That's where the difference lies...abhir is not an adopted kid...adopted kids r not told they're adopted so they don't get abandonment issues(anyways there's a lot of debate on this topic ... What's the right age to convey such info)... it's all about how u break such info... whether u consider counseling together for all this.

He can be in abhir life... I'm not sure if that's what Ak wants to allow though...she can't wait to go back to kasauli...nd keep abhir nd abhiM away...take today's episode for eg. wasn't the reason for taking abhir to the summer camp is so he can enjoy have fun be happy nd be close to nature...so why did she wanna leave as soon as she saw AbhiM there (it was Ar nd kV intention to go to to camp nd keep AbhiM nd abhir away) imagine taking ur child to a vacation so he can be in a better mood nd bringing them back as soon as they reach...does that not negatively affect children....if co parenting is a route ak accepts wouldn't this camp be a very good opportunity to let abhir-abhiM spend time with AkshNav being present...a win win on both sides now that they are anyway here...if AbhiM at this point leaves his zidd Ak will not allow him to be present in abhir life

Originally posted by: Ekahriz

Tell me about it. He is such a manchild. No lessons in life teach him anything. Didn't you see how this 40 year old male had to he dragged out of Goenka house by his mom while he couldn't take his eyes away from Abhir? Which grownass adult behaves like that. Oh God!

He really needs to stand up to his mother.. its high time. I sometimes do feel bad for him but then again he himself has made a mess of his life. Even now I don't understand why can't he firmly say he doesn't want to marry Arohi? Yes Ruhi demanded it but kids demand a lot of things. Why couldn't he have explained things to her properly and say its not possible. Don't know whats he going to do when his mom would come to know about Abhir and want him back to birla house

Originally posted by: bhshre95

He really needs to stand up to his mother.. its high time. I sometimes do feel bad for him but then again he himself has made a mess of his life. Even now I don't understand why can't he firmly say he doesn't want to marry Arohi? Yes Ruhi demanded it but kids demand a lot of things. Why couldn't he have explained things to her properly and say its not possible. Don't know whats he going to do when his mom would come to know about Abhir and want him back to birla house

Mummy k kehne par custody case karega aur may be lekar aane ki koshish karega but abhir ithni asani se usko Jeet nhi payega.

I kind of get what you are saying there about Abhi trying to overcompensate for the 6 years that he lost .. but my issue is that he is not thinking at all .. inspite of hearing the other side , seeing all the issues and complexities involved , he is still behaving like a partial bulldozer .. just looking at his emotions and his side of things and not giving anything more than a very cursory glance at other people’s point of view .. he is not behaving like a 40 year old cardiac surgeon who has seen the world .. he can prioritise Abhir .. but taking him away without telling the parents, keeping Ruhi out of what is essential a thing any child would love etc are not him focusing on Abhir , but on himself and his pain .. ideally he and Akshara should pick up from the bus stop conversation, see what can be a good solution to this conundrum that does not hurt both the children.. especially Abhir .. Abhi cannot assume him

Being in Abhir’s life should automatically mean dharma’s cannot go back to Kasauli .. he should be willing to first apologise to Aksharasbd start from a space of humility and forgiveness than haq, arrogance and ego of highhandedness.. I am all for Ruhi getting a better upbringing by being a lot less spoiled.. but this sudden u turn is not the way to bring that about and Abhi could actually have handled these situations with Ruhi much better if he was being mature .. this is what I feel although I really do have sympathies for his predicament with respect to Abhir although I think he brought it on himself ..[

QUOTE=DevilHere]

Honestly i see this both ways since AbhiM finally got to know he has a son he's overcompensating those 6 years of absence in abhir life nd is therefore not as present for ruhi...but at the same time ruhi has been the princess of birla house nd centre of attention nd she's not very comfortable sharing that spotlight usually happens with older kids when they get a new sibling.... I for one don't see any harm in him prioritising his sick child over ruhi... doesn't mean he loves her any else...but abhir does need his attention more....For sure ruhi being jealous of abhir track is on the way...what remains to be seen is whether it's coz she's no more the only center of attention or their is a evident difference in the treatment of both the children

I totally agree with you when u say it's not right for him to take abhir without informing anyone....he was really out of line there...nd i don't think he's intending to spoil ruhi any less coz I feel the way he's overcompensating abhir for those 6 years...he has been overcompensating ruhi losing her dad 6 yrs ago...this sudden turn is bound to happen coz what i see ruhi feeling rn is jealousy usually older children feel when younger sibling is born.. she's no more the only apple in his eye

I absolutely agree they should catch up on the bus stop conversation ideally nd work it out but it takes two to tango....how much bandwidth has ak given to the idea...rn the order is nav,abhiM,ak when it comes to considering co-parenting .. it's an absolute no no for her...she leaves no chance to throw the it's nav not u who is abhir dad at AbhiM... Abhimanyu Akshara equation shouldn't factor in Abhimanyu Abhir relation...both of them can have issues but still decide to be cordial for the child's sake...if a couple that had a child together is separated it's for a reason....if only those issues were that easy to solve they would be together... doesn't mean meanwhile they sort those issue u start playing tug of war with the child...the child deserves his bio dad love too if that's possible (PS: I acknowledge nav as a father too so please no bio vs foster dad)

Originally posted by: bhshre95

On the other hand Abhinav has raised Abhir like his own son. He is very grateful for having Abhir and Akshara in his life and pampers Abhir a lot but never shies away from reprimanding him if he thinks he has done something wrong like when he had troubled Abhi. And in Abhir's case, AkshNav are always a team if they have to teach him something. They usually don't override each other in front of him.

Yes, that's what I love about Akshara- Abhinav relationship too. So, we can extrapolate how people behave based on their core characteristic is, right? So, I feel even if Akshara has another child with Abhinav, the priority Abhir has in Abhinav is not gonna change, because of the person Abhinav is.

Not like how Ruhi is taking second place for Abhimanyu.

Also @solembaum

Totally agree with you about Abhimanyu's bulldozing ways. Today when Akshara called him to ask his permission, he said "are you scared something akin to what happened yesterday will happen again" and he answers himself saying, "that was not the last time and only the first time, and it will keep happening". Who says that and who does that? He hasn't even introspected what he did on the day of Neil's death. What horrible actions he meted upon his wife? And why he lost 6 years of Abhir's life? All I can see his ego and his pain which he thinks was inflicted upon him by other people. He is not thinking from anyone else's perspective. Not even from Abhir's who is at the moment his sole priority.

I agree that Abhi should have a place in Abhir’s life and ideally whatever is the right age to tell such things they should and that conversation should happen.. Akshara was okay with him spending time at least in words she said she was .. but I think it is his lack of control that is scary .. I mean like he has no boundaries once someone becomes the object of his love or junoon .. he would go to any lengths .. and his casual disrespect to the people who raised the child is alarming .. so was the triumphant look when the child ran to him .. I feel Akshara’s response might have been slightly tempered if he had apologised and abjectly apologised for his behaviour on white day or Neel’s death .. not just for Seerat Maa .. and even if he thinks she is the murderer at least for divorcing her like that and not listening when she called , she should apologise and I would have thought that would have been a good starting point for that .. but his thoughts seem to be very casual that now Sharmas cannot go back to Kasauli or Abhir cannot be away from him .. I don’t know if he would consider moving to Kasauli ? That does not seem to be a thought .. why? I dislike his casual disrespect to everyone else ..true Akshara could have overlooked the l k of apology or realisation. In front of her and assumed that him saying he accepted he is bad is akin to an apology and been the sensible person too considering he just came to know he has a child .. even a genuine Akshara kind of acknowledgement of his feelings might have helped too.. but she is also just saying I am ok and then getting angry and not considering this sensibly that he will obviously want to play a bigger role .. I would have hoped Abhinav to temper her objections through multiple discussions .. but post birthday stint he seems to be off his soft mode too .. I don’t know who will be the voice of reason here ..

Originally posted by: DevilHere

I totally agree with you when u say it's not right for him to take abhir without informing anyone....he was really out of line there...nd i don't think he's intending to spoil ruhi any less coz I feel the way he's overcompensating abhir for those 6 years...he has been overcompensating ruhi losing her dad 6 yrs ago...this sudden turn is bound to happen coz what i see ruhi feeling rn is jealousy usually older children feel when younger sibling is born.. she's no more the only apple in his eye

I absolutely agree they should catch up on the bus stop conversation ideally nd work it out but it takes two to tango....how much bandwidth has ak given to the idea...rn the order is nav,abhiM,ak when it comes to considering co-parenting .. it's an absolute no no for her...she leaves no chance to throw the it's nav not u who is abhir dad at AbhiM... Abhimanyu Akshara equation shouldn't factor in Abhimanyu Abhir relation...both of them can have issues but still decide to be cordial for the child's sake...if a couple that had a child together is separated it's for a reason....if only those issues were that easy to solve they would be together... doesn't mean meanwhile they sort those issue u start playing tug of war with the child...the child deserves his bio dad love too if that's possible (PS: I acknowledge nav as a father too so please no bio vs foster dad)

Tbh had he apologized she would've given in..i doubt that highly that' all an assumption...the only time she actually said she's okay is when confronted him about birthday party fiasco nd the next day she's running from the camp coz coincidently abhim is there...but why did they not invite him in the first place...why did nav who's AA nd sarcasm aside actually being the most flexible of the three go to abhiM the way he went the time of Puja nd say it's abhir b'day let's plan it together...i only mentioned going back to Kasauli coz ak motive of moving back to kasauli is to keep abhiM nd abhir away... ideally all of them can stay at their places nd make some arrangements...Ak didn't just not tell abhiM the truth for 6 years she was actively trying to hide the truth...nd if we're gonna dissect every expression of abhiM why not with ak it's a matter of perception all I saw was him being happy his son ran to him.....has ak respected his right as abhir dad that u expect the same courtesy to be extended towards her nd nav....nd like i mentioned abhiM never really challenged their claim on abhir.....why just see the negatives nd only concentrate on them tbh didn't he change the b'day card coz he didn't wanna spoil abhir b'day .... atleast I never saw abhiM saying u have no haq to all...tbh he never said that to nav too that u r not abhir father...ak has been throwing the u r not his father taunt for long...If you wish to judge abhiM for saying this is not the last time he's taken abhir with him...why not judge ak for her tone nd being we're responsible parents nd all mein kyun btau ....if abhiM wants to take abhir for a trip without them later would ak allow.....why not see ak zidd.... wasn't abhiM the one who attempted to talk it out at the bus stop....but she shut him up saying I'm a mother ik better...nd he was like u left no scope for discussion

I didn’t mention Kasauli because you mentioned .. actually in the hospital scene when he is doing checkup and that conversation. About returning what does not belong to you .. when Abhir mentions about going back to Kasauli , Abhimanyu says why will you go back to Kasauli , you will stay in Udaipur.. my point about casual disrespect was coming from that place where he is just assuming that as the default option .. that he will stay in Udaipur.. I really do not know if Akshara would have changed if he apologised .. but I consider Alshara as the wronged party here .. I mean in terms of how this whole thing came about , even if he thought she really was a murderer, he behaved without an ounce of humanity on that day .. when he divorced her and never looked back .. for 5 months or 6 months he held on to that anger at the same level refusing to speak, listen everything .. so to me it feels like he owes her the apology and tears more than anyone else I. His life .. but even after hearing about the things she faced he has not apologised and mostly only shown Tashan to her .. and like what I think of his original love confession .. she is not going to melt that fast about Abhi .. she melts only when he is in mortal danger in her current state of mind .. so I would have liked him to try again .. and I don’t agree that the only time she said he can meet is on birthday .. however much Akshara disliked Snhi spending time with Sbhir , she has never forbidden Abhir from spending time ..and her objection was mainly about giving him father rights to the child .. of course she is not right , but she is scared of all the stuff she has to tell if she says Abhimanyu is your bio dad .. I believe as the person who wronged her or abused her . She is owed that apology .. and on bench conversation also she said she won’t come between their bonding .. instead of pulling that stunt on birthday , he could have spoken to Abhinav or Akshara .. obviously as legal parents and primary care givers they do have slightly more rights practically than him ? And regarding the expression on Abhimanyu’s face - it was not just happiness , he was looking at Akshara and Abhinav with a see my son came to me look.. his happiness was tinged with triumph .. just happiness without any mean thought was on Akshara and Abhinav’s face when the child came back to feed the cake .. I was looking at Sksharas expressions too .. she was sad or worried when it looked like Abhir was ignoring Abhinav for docman and she just had genuine happiness when the kid ran back to Abhinav .. and I thought there was even a fleeting sympathetic look on her face when Abhi was looking at his empty hands although her gaze didn’t linger on him beyond a second .. but she didn’t look back with that kind of triumph when Abhir ran back .. anyway this is how I viewed that scene .. Akshara could have been the better person and handled this sensibly even if Abhimanyu was behaving out of control .. but she is also holding on to her anger on Abhimanyu ..

Originally posted by: DevilHere

Tbh had he apologized she would've given in..i doubt that highly that' all an assumption...the only time she actually said she's okay is when confronted him about birthday party fiasco nd the next day she's running from the camp coz coincidently abhim is there...but why did they not invite him in the first place...why did nav who's AA nd sarcasm aside actually being the most flexible of the three go to abhiM the way he went the time of Puja nd say it's abhir b'day let's plan it together...i only mentioned going back to Kasauli coz ak motive of moving back to kasauli is to keep abhiM nd abhir away... ideally all of them can stay at their places nd make some arrangements...Ak didn't just not tell abhiM the truth for 6 years she was actively trying to hide the truth...nd if we're gonna dissect every expression of abhiM why not with ak it's a matter of perception all I saw was him being happy his son ran to him.....has ak respected his right as abhir dad that u expect the same courtesy to be extended towards her nd nav....nd like i mentioned abhiM never really challenged their claim on abhir.....why just see the negatives nd only concentrate on them tbh didn't he change the b'day card coz he didn't wanna spoil abhir b'day .... atleast I never saw abhiM saying u have no haq to all...tbh he never said that to nav too that u r not abhir father...ak has been throwing the u r not his father taunt for long...If you wish to judge abhiM for saying this is not the last time he's taken abhir with him...why not judge ak for her tone nd being we're responsible parents nd all mein kyun btau ....if abhiM wants to take abhir for a trip without them later would ak allow.....why not see ak zidd.... wasn't abhiM the one who attempted to talk it out at the bus stop....but she shut him up saying I'm a mother ik better...nd he was like u left no scope for discussion