Let's normalise talking about this with men - Page 2

Originally posted by: Baarish_Sim

Haa haa that's true. Now I am over it but I come from very conservative family and know how taboo this is. Not even periods, I think even sex education should be given. Lot of girls don't know until marriage what really it is even today.

If ITv opens up on those topics, it's really good. I know season 2 had lot of good tracks about molestation and all. That is another sensitive topic which needs to be touched.

Originally posted by: ishqdinoorhai9

Mujhe laga I cry so much about it here so people will know... Nd u need to eat almonds bcoz I have told u this 😂😂

Exactly. None of us should feel like we have to keep quiet. I got my periods early, like I was 11 and let's just say I got glares and my lifestyle was made a big issue. And I don't want anyone to feel scared and have those idiotic thoughts which seem like a nightmare if they missed their period in starting due to harmones. It was a very bad phase even tho I can laugh about it now ... At my own stupidity, of course.

I feel it's the writing that certain actors are not able to evolve. I laughed at Paras and Mayank fighting scene when Anisha jumped in that lake kinda thing... During makarsakranrti. It was so badly performed by both. And Paras needs to grow in a lot of scenes.

I know Akshara is reserved and shy, but this will bring a beautiful change if she, a shy girl talks about it.

I would love AbhiRa to have this talk too and tbh, a talk about their first night too. Bcoz it's a very very important part and as much as intense romance is exciting, an emotional intimacy through this will give more and more beauty to this. Atleast for me. And I know many will not like this but yeah... This is just me. I a lot of conversation person, gazing at each other eyes, sharing silence and all person.

Nd this is seriously not a dirty talk kinda thing even that's not bad but ITV ho jayega, so I want them to talk about the value of consent here. Nd how they imagined their after marriage life to be and indirect words (so that ITV accepts and still sends a msg), they talk.

Yeah... A track of two week please.. everyday was different. Pain was different and I want them to continue to show about periods in months too. Atleast ek sign toh.

Padman really was a good movie. And that, main aurat hun isiliye woh meri baat smjh paaye impacted me a lot more. Isiliye I am talking about this.

Bold: this really made smile ❤️❤️

Kuch bhi! You have never told me about your studies. Well I knew you were studying but did not know what of. Actually. Yes I do remember now but I dont think you mentioned it fully.

I feel you because I also got my period right after primary school was finished and I must be 11 too and i did not tell anybody about this for a year. I was too embarrassed because I was only 11 and obviously I did not know there is no set age. Luckily girls have a period talk in year 6 here (hoping they have one in India too) so I prepared lol

I think one more major thing is the religious aspect to it. In my religion, we do avoid the temple during our cycle and though I still respect this rule, I do not like the connotation associated with it. I will not go into detail as it's a religious topic but I do think girls are given the wrong idea about periods, it's not a dirty or bad thing.

Sorry for laughing at your experience, it does sound funny now but damn that's traumatic for a kid to think about 😬

Writing does affect performance I agree so it could just be that. I prefer to watch paras ke scenes though. He is vulnerable, innocent and pure and I just feel protective of him sometimes. That's not easy to achieve. The scene between Akshara and Neil on yesterday trumps any scenes shes had with her own clan because I could feel their love and respect for each other. I think the makers are watching suraj bharjatiya movies because the relationships are giving me HAHK and HSSH vibes.

Yes a 2 week track would be just right. It reminds me ghooghant plot btw because its challenging the social norm and I loved that track. They could maybe show that Akshara is struggling because of period related problems and there are plenty of health concerns that can be causes due to periods such as PMS which can cause vomiting. Akshara being Akshara will never discuss this with anyone if Abhi or other males are there and this could cause bigger hurdles for her. Imagine her having to go buy sanitary pads and then hide it until she reaches her room just because of the taboo 🤦🏽‍♀️ The only thing is that Birlas are doctors so surely they should be less prudish about this matter? Actually they're doctors but orthodox as well so Harsh would definitely dislike such talks and scold Akshara if something ever happened.

I think this track would be great and then to see Abhi take care or Akshara. Husband goals!

@Bold Yeah I dont think the makers will touch this issue. They just wont have Abhira discuss their first night and if they will, it will be cheesy. So I dont trust them to handle this topic well. Even in diya aur batti hum, they had highlighted this issue but I felt it was way too dramatised and cringey.

Glad it made you smile ♥️

Originally posted by: IAMHope

I think issues like Cramps, Menstruating, Consent can be worked into the story beautifully especially since Abhi is a doctor- even Abhi giving Ak a hot water bag for her cramps each month would be sweet and a good start. They could do so much for the issue of Consent even with current pre wedding track. They will have to make it interesting or “intertaining” without it being a science lesson and that would be a challenge. Did the prior seasons handle infertility issues? I think someone said they did - if yes then this team is more than capable of cleverly working these issues into the story!

🤗

@Bold wohi toh! I dont want a biology lecture on reproduction and menstrual cycle. I want them to break the barrier and make a point that it is not something to be ashamed about.

I think they could easily make plots that involve Akshara to struggle in her sasural because of these taboo subjects and it can be so relatable to not just married girls but girls in general. Some men could also learn a thing or two from such tracks 👀

Akshara in generation one used to struggle with her ghooghant as she was not comfortable in doing chores with a palu on her head and this resonated with many women. Similarly, today's Akshara can have cramps of nausea due to period but she doesnt mention it as shes shy. Abhi can easily teach her that its nothing to be ashamed of and I personally think this would be a great message that you should take your health seriously and men should be like Abhi who do not treat period like a disease. I think we have given such a good topic to makers which wont even be followed.

I didnt watch season 2 but Akshara did have a miscarriage and then she was told it would become difficult for her to bear children again. Yes they do deal with such issues nicely but I've not seen it happen recently. I feel they give anupama the job to address the social topics and yrkkh is made into a romantic show that only ever has weddings.

Originally posted by: Harshadfan21

Haa haa that's true. Now I am over it but I come from very conservative family and know how taboo this is. Not even periods, I think even sex education should be given. Lot of girls don't know until marriage what really it is even today.

If ITv opens up on those topics, it's really good. I know season 2 had lot of good tracks about molestation and all. That is another sensitive topic which needs to be touched.

In my opinion, barrister babu did a good job of discussing menstruation and normalizing it so I definitely recommend giving that track a watch because the discussion between Anirudh and Bondita warmed my heart. It was the late Jan early Feb 2021 episodes I believe. The track was a little silly but the ending was beautiful.

Originally posted by: Baarish_Sim

In my opinion, barrister babu did a good job of discussing menstruation and normalizing it so I definitely recommend giving that track a watch because the discussion between Anirudh and Bondita warmed my heart. It was the late Jan early Feb 2021 episodes I believe. The track was a little silly but the ending was beautiful.

That's nice yaar they already touched this topic in other serial

I'm blessed to have a family where we can talk about anything to anyone, I have an elder brother (2 years older than me) and he helped me throughout period, I don't eat on the first day, the cramps are like hell, so he always brought chicken chowmein from my favorite restaurant in the evening because I didn't eat breakfast and lunch, I can talk about periods in front of my dad, he brings my sanitary napkins and I send him the pics of which one to be brought (he is buying for more than a decade for me but he still gets confused about the variety and colors😂😂) and I can talk about physical intimacy too, my brother and I can talk about anything in the world because we are each others best friend and I educated my mom about the scientific background of menstruation and coitus, she was red in the face but later came around, I was the one who made her watch fifty shades(she took the mobile and watched alone and asked the meanings later) and she was shocked to know about BDSM, God I laughed so hard ,her face was spectacular 😂😂😂

But I believe in our country people are still naive when it comes to menstruation, coitus or physical intimacy, most of the women don't know that sex is for pleasure for both participants not only men and it's not only for procreation, most of them have no idea about orgasm because they don't know about their own body, it's like a chore to them for pleasing their partners and as they don't know much they can't teach their children properly and that's why everything is so hush hush and taboo

Originally posted by: ishqdinoorhai9

Okay, so before anyone say to me that it's a family show and they could not show it, let me tell you, I know its a family show and that's why, it's all the way more important for makers to show this.

So I am assuming everyone know that I a 12th PCMB student and that requires us to talk about intercourse/coitus/sex and menstruation/periods.

We were taught, of course the way the teachers here teaches this subject. It was mainly about hormones. 12th really does not have any PG stuff either. But atm, I was asked to do a project. And since menstruation was something easy and I know about it, I chose it. So I did a survey. Boys were not really comfortable talking about it and a lot of girls that I knew does not talk about it to their brothers and fathers.

And I knew it but given that, I really talk about this (in length) with my elder brother, I found it weird that till now too we can't say periods, talk about touch, physical intimacy to our parents... Forget dad's, even not to mother's.

Tbh, it was not the same in my house either. I remember the first time I got my periods, I have just entered 7th and we were travelling the next day and boom. Here you go. I knew about it since one of my friend had already reached puberty in 5th.

So when I told this to Maa, she said don't talk about this in front of papa. I really found it odd but let it slide. Konsa main papa se jaa kar Roz gapiyati thi.

But my father knew this. But I can't talk about periods in front of him. Not to say that the travelling part was like a living hell.

But I remember, due to hormonal changes I skipped my periods for two months and I was scared. Like yeah, I really thought I was pregnant (don't laught. I did not know the procedure then. Bas ye pata tha ki pregnancy mein periods nhi aate hai toh 🥲) and ko daant padi thi mere ko before she made me understand.

And then mujhe meri behen ne bhi gyaan diya. I know I was a clown. But okay. Bacchi thi.

And in 7th, the cramps were literally killing me (it still does 🥲) and I was taking it out on my bro. And he finally got irritated and snapped.

Me: tu nahi samjhega... Bhaag Jaa yahan se varna Aaj maar daalungi tere ko.

Bhaiya: haan duniya mein toh ek tu hi akeli Devi, mahan, intelligent paida Hui hai na.. 'tu nahi smjhega' imitating me. Its a period, get up and go for a run.

I looked him, grunted and yelled for mummy. She ignored me (alag hi dukh hai bhai)

Phir usne mere ko takiye se maara tha. Nd he started talking about it. I was too tired to get up and kill him, so I listened to his blabber. He was just one year elder to me but pata nhi Kahan ka granth tha. Gadhe ko sab pata tha. Nd he later brought me a heating pad and nothing else.

Given that, I have a big family and two of my sisters are married, I saw them talking freely about this with their respective partners and later jija ji did talk to us about it.

Gradually, I started saying periods in front of papa, one day we talked about which pads are better and all. Main ab bhi papa se roz nhi gapiyati hun.

But I got to know one thing, a married women does talk about it to her husband and it's a domestic thing to bring pad, chocolates or whatever helps the lady to find relief.

But when it comes to talk about it to your brother and father, a male friend/colleague, it's suddenly a very very taboo-ed topic.

And that's why I want makers to show this talk between Akshara-Kairav and we may ladies might hate each other, but period pain, we cuss it together. So Akshara Aarohi too. Add Vansh. And the boys pampering their sister.

Of course, I would love to have this conversation between AbhiRa too but I guess, it will also be nice with KaiShu, Aarohi and Vansh.

It will promote a good msg too.

P.S. sorry for the story. I just shared so that you know why it's important for me.

I agree with you and the talk about periods happen in a slightly different way in Indian households.

I hail from South India and we have this traditional puberty ceremony which is being performed in a dhoom dham way and there are people who criticise that, but hey nothing wrong in celebrating an important milestone in a girl's life and a way of telling rishtedaar to take cognizance of that fact. Parents start accumulating jewellery from here on for the girls wedding.

I have a 14 Yr old son and 10 Yr old girl me and husband discuss everything openly with them about periods, sexual development, bodily changes, hormonal changes, teenage rages, feeling ugly about certain bodily changes, the new limits between the brother and sister everything.

Because whatever a parent can teach can't be taught by a teacher and whatever a teacher teaches can be taught by a parent.

I still suffer with period cramps and severe mood swings but I make good use of the age old tradition of 3 day rest and give that time absolutely to myself and my family are sensible enough to give me that space.

Everything doesn't have to be shown on the big screen, these kind of discussions can be had during bonding time, those times when you have nothing significant to talk about.

Excellent post by you, @Topic maker! 👏

Originally posted by: serenepeace46

I'm blessed to have a family where we can talk about anything to anyone, I have an elder brother (2 years older than me) and he helped me throughout period, I don't eat on the first day, the cramps are like hell, so he always brought chicken chowmein from my favorite restaurant in the evening because I didn't eat breakfast and lunch, I can talk about periods in front of my dad, he brings my sanitary napkins and I send him the pics of which one to be brought (he is buying for more than a decade for me but he still gets confused about the variety and colors😂😂) and I can talk about physical intimacy too, my brother and I can talk about anything in the world because we are each others best friend and I educated my mom about the scientific background of menstruation and coitus, she was red in the face but later came around, I was the one who made her watch fifty shades(she took the mobile and watched alone and asked the meanings later) and she was shocked to know about BDSM, God I laughed so hard ,her face was spectacular 😂😂😂

But I believe in our country people are still naive when it comes to menstruation, coitus or physical intimacy, most of the women don't know that sex is for pleasure for both participants not only men and it's not only for procreation, most of them have no idea about orgasm because they don't know about their own body, it's like a chore to them for pleasing their partners and as they don't know much they can't teach their children properly and that's why everything is so hush hush and taboo

In starting, we never really talked about this in front of men members of my family. But yeah, it was Papa only who bought sanitary stuffs, heating pad nd all. I really don't talk much with Papa bcoz I am just me... Introvert. I am bad, I mean real bad when I meet people in real life. And if there is no debate or a topic that I know of, can out forward my point, I participate otherwise I remain silent. Nd I am a fun person only with my people varna 🙃

I remember me and bhaiya was talking about this natural contraception thing when Maa walked in and me and my brother was talking about it. I was in 10th and my exams were coming near. Toh for a moment we kept quiet, thinking ab kya bolegi mummy but she was like, I am not an idiot that I will not understand that you are talking about menstruation cycle and pregnancy.

We looked at each other and then we included her. She is an experienced lady 🤷‍♀️

Last year, when my sister was talking about her fear of having an unplanned baby and all, my mother was you know making her understand and all, I was so happy and excited and I continued to butt in in between with the knowledge I have.

I was really excited because finally we have put yet another barrier behind us. We have normalised talking about it even if you are not getting married (me). Toh it was a huge step and I had a spring on my feet the other day.

With my brother, once we started talking about periods, he made me aware of sex ed, masturbation, importance and it does not have any disadvantage but yeah, the side effects kind of thing. I know it might sound uncomfortable to so many but yeah, he talked about it to me. Tbh, he was the one who taught me biology. Toh yeah. Also a lot of things here will be far fetched for ITV like masturbation and sex ed, toh I will go for consent talk.

Like not always men are in mood and women are shy and vice versa. Toh I just want them to here, normalise saying NO.

And that's why I really want a brother sister talking about menstruation. About other things, I think, AbhiRa will kill it with their shy, understanding and intense talks. I thought I heard in today sbs that they were talking about first night. Toh I am glad it was not just a jump in the bed instead consent is something they have talked about. So yeah... I am happy it is being brought up.

Exactly. It was such a hush hush topic when it is supposed to be talked about.

P.S. Sorry if this might sounded weird and uncomfortable to anyone 🙂

Originally posted by: Rsrockz

I agree with you and the talk about periods happen in a slightly different way in Indian households.

I hail from South India and we have this traditional puberty ceremony which is being performed in a dhoom dham way and there are people who criticise that, but hey nothing wrong in celebrating an important milestone in a girl's life and a way of telling rishtedaar to take cognizance of that fact. Parents start accumulating jewellery from here on for the girls wedding.

I know in many states it's celebrated and that really needs to be appreciated. I know the rituals of why it happens certain way...

I have a 14 Yr old son and 10 Yr old girl me and husband discuss everything openly with them about periods, sexual development, bodily changes, hormonal changes, teenage rages, feeling ugly about certain bodily changes, the new limits between the brother and sister everything.

This really made me happy ❤️❤️ It's really necessary especially as they grow up

Because whatever a parent can teach can't be taught by a teacher and whatever a teacher teaches can be taught by a parent.

I still suffer with period cramps, they say if proper diet is not given during 1st period it could cause cramps, the proper diet during 1st period has to be only sweets or sweet food like kheer, khova, anything made with dugar milk, rice and no atta.

Remedies which helped me with cramps are having ragi malt, eat banana, avoid eating roti, maida and heat producing foods while on periods.

Everything doesn't have to be shown on the big screen, these kind of discussions can be had during bonding time, those times when you have nothing significant to talk about.

I agree not everything can be shown on TV but TV is a big part of our life's. Like let's take ourselves for example. Its just a show but we are attached to characters, backdrop, actors, tracks and everything. So much to do much that we have discussions here.

So TV have the medium to influence it right and that's why I want it to be shown. Not to forget, it's a good msg. We are not supposed to shy about talking about periods in front of Papa, bhaiya and men.

Yes, if someone is uncomfortable we are not supposed to push it or forcefully talk about it that's why (like Silveraliax di said), it should be a full fledged track.

We are sending a msg and it is necessary to normalise it. Yrkkh have huge viewers. The show gets troll quiet often but if makers do share a common problem like this, people will appreciate it too. It's also a marketing scheme and business (agar makers issi baat se Maan jaate hai toh yahi sahi)