My dearest daughter Akshu,
Waise toh tum mujhe bilkul bhool gayi ho liken Maa toh Maa hoti hai. Woh apne bache ko kaise bhool jaye? I’ve been seeing how everyone makes fun of you, mocks you or gets angry at you and so I wanted to write this letter to you. Yes, I do most of the mocking and laughing but like I said, Maa toh Maa hoti hai aur mocking your child is one of the requirements of being a mom.
So where should I start from? Let’s start from what I just saw in this forum: your obsession with “Angel’s time”. According to you, Angel’s Time happens 24 times a day and every single time, your phone reminds you aur tum koi roadside bandariya ki tarah nachna shuru kar dehti ho. But just tell me? When has this Angel’s Time actually worked for you? According to you, you only want one thing in life (jhooti!) and that is that big wala family photo…so you ask for that 24 times a day and it still has not been granted? [insert your mother rolling her eyes here]
Now to my second problem. Don’t worry beta, my list of issues with you is longer than Abhimanyu’s childhood hair. Talking about Abhimanyu, tell me why you decided to become a tiyag ki Devi? What good has it ever done to you? Who in your life actually appreciated you being a Tiyag Ki Devi? You gave up your love? For what? Just to watch your pyar pyar pyar do atyachaar chaar chaar on you and then at the end you Bhaag Bhaag Bhaag with him? You should have been a Jalebi from the start and now you would have been long married to Abhi and dancing to aaaeeee Saami in your own bedroom instead of a community center with a fake giant elephant. And oh everyone would still be talking to you. But noooo tumhe toh mahan bana tha! Kaho apney mahante ke ladoos ab.
Also talking about Abhi, agar tumhe tumhari family ki izzat itniiiii pyari hai, why are you meeting him not so chupke chupke and falling on him for the world to see? You already know you have two left feet. If that was not enough, now you are doing phone Pinga? Tumhari family ki izzat kya ab iccha kund mein swim karne gayi hai? Maa ke emotions ki parwa hai ya nahi? “AkShU iS sO sElFlEsS oMg!!!!” Tumhare selfless acts se ziyada toh Anand Birla ke sar pe baal hain. Saara din phone pe BF ko muah muah muah karti ho magar nahi ke kabhi maa ko bhi phone karo.
Now talking about baal…did Abhi get a buy one get one free offer ke he gifted both you and that Anisha those ugly wigs? Isse ache tum Bade Papa ki hairstyle copy kar lehti.
Lastly, beta. Why? Why why why? Why do you wear those horrendous clothes? I know Abhi broke your mirror but tumhare paas phir bhi two eyes hain. Aur waise bhi chasme ki bina tumhe har cheez badi lagti hai toh jab tum yeh roz itna bada fashion blunder karti ho, woh tume Harsh Birla ki ego jaisi badi kyun nahi dikhti? Kyun kyun kyun tum bar bar ya curtains pehn lehti ho ya chamak challo ban jahti ho? Kyun Kyun Kyun?
Anyways, abhi toh party shuru hui hai so I’m sure I’ll write to you again. Until then, CALL YOUR MOTHER. Yeh saal mein ek baar roke “I miss you Mumma” kehna is not enough. Okay waise toh jaise Parth ki jaan uske plants mein, MimiLulu ki jaan tum mein. Love you!
Lots of love,
Your Mumma
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Book Talk
18