SamAina OS:- Close Apart

First Previous

Page

Frequent Posters

TereLiyeMINU

@TereLiyeMINU

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 7 years ago

#21

Muskan Darling..🤗

The oxymoron in title is beguiling. There is a feeling of happiness in closing in and pain in being apart from love and also closing in pain and being apart is absolute peace in lust..

You defined very well the difference between this happiness ,peace and pain through two mirrors of love and lust..Great job at this 👏

Love is a verb, not a noun. It is active. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance. It is behavior. So is lust.So its important to distinguish between the two verbs before moving onto several other 'verbs.'

The description takes the cake here..I loved the way you juxta posed between the points of dream ,reality and haze.I felt like dwindling yet getting a clear picture just like in stream --of-consciousness novels..Kudos to you.👍🏼 Keep writing in similar fashion.

A bold step by you must say..Amrita and Sameer ..swayed But thats the real life. Boys remain high on hormones and the bad influence takes them away from the promises..The Id comes to fore. Mere mortals of hot blood and flesh at the end of the day..

I absolutely loved Naina's dialogues..the way she asked if she had spent such mid night with another male ...More than this I loved how she asks him that this is all he gave to her when she was waiting for him all the while...My Darling! Were you listening "Acha sila diya tune mere pyaar ka" while typing this? Bad Joke.😆

We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward...

So the open ending justifies it all..Will Sameer be enough trust worthy afterword?

Will Naina have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time?

Some answers Time has and some Reader's belief...

A masterpiece of thought from you..👏

Thanks for the PM and keep coming with your best.

With love-

Minu

Edited by TereLiyeMINU - 7 years ago

Quote

Shreya

@PehliDafaHai

Rocker

Posted: 6 years ago

#22

The open ending of the story called me softly; the suspenseful element was retained throughout the story...this work was a stellar piece under writing, the descriptive way you have chose, the introduction. Wow!

The story when I read it first time, I was slightly confused with the plot and a bit too shocked, Sameer cheating on Naina, not with any girl but Amrita. One of the only few things I had liked in the Delhi track was Amrita and Sameer's unconditional friendship.

But the story had an intrigue factor that compelled me to read it a few more times and the fog started clearing, I had understood what exactly happened. The time 7:14 significance slipped my mind the first time but not when I read multiple times.

He cheated because he was paying attention to what he was missing rather than what he have.

But the only fact I could make peace with in this whole cheating fiasco was he was ready to own up, confess his mistake and ready to accept whatever punishment she gave him.

Still. Still the selfish lover within him burned like an inferno, he didn't want her to leave, he didn't want her to be stone-cold Naina that she is capable of being.

I had liked how you brought the rigmarole of Delhi in here, Sam has never opened about his feelings with Naina about that bittersweet phase of his life.

Close together of far apart, you will always be in my heart.

Very realistically portrayed on how lust has a big effect on a relationship; for good or bad.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

AMereWanderer

@AMereWanderer

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: NikiAries

Haha, I completely missed out that you added more to the italics portion of the post since it was edited out in the OS contest.
Don't know what my brain was thinking but based on your description of Sam-Naina conversation in car and her wearing Sam's t-shirt I almost felt like Naina was in Delhi. Also Naina touched Sam on the exact spots Amrita touched him while questioning including the details which left he confused. Even though this was Sam's dream I felt it was his sub conscious remembering things and hoped against hope he was drunk. Maybe it was Naina not Amrita who gave him a surprise like the serial by dropping at his place😆 he just didn't remember due to being drunk and not expecting Naina. That's what my mind cooked up due to being in denial of Sam cheating on Naina😉 Since this is open ended will have to live with it😆

Again your writing style is awesome! Minus the Sam cheating part loved every bit of the story😊

Wow! Look at that creativity! I'm hoping to see some of that in your writing...I've been wanting to read some new SamAina stories...what say? 😉😳

Thank you so much for your reviews! 😳😃

Quote

AMereWanderer

@AMereWanderer

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: TereLiyeMINU
Muskan Darling..🤗
The oxymoron in title is beguiling. There is a feeling of happiness in closing in and pain in being apart from love and also closing in pain and being apart is absolute peace in lust..

You defined very well the difference between this happiness ,peace and pain through two mirrors of love and lust..Great job at this 👏

Love is a verb, not a noun. It is active. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance. It is behavior. So is lust.So its important to distinguish between the two verbs before moving onto several other 'verbs.'

The description takes the cake here..I loved the way you juxta posed between the points of dream ,reality and haze.I felt like dwindling yet getting a clear picture just like in stream --of-consciousness novels..Kudos to you.👍🏼 Keep writing in similar fashion.

A bold step by you must say..Amrita and Sameer ..swayed But thats the real life. Boys remain high on hormones and the bad influence takes them away from the promises..The Id comes to fore. Mere mortals of hot blood and flesh at the end of the day..

I absolutely loved Naina's dialogues..the way she asked if she had spent such mid night with another male ...More than this I loved how she asks him that this is all he gave to her when she was waiting for him all the while...My Darling! Were you listening "Acha sila diya tune mere pyaar ka" while typing this? Bad Joke.😆

We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward...
So the open ending justifies it all..Will Sameer be enough trust worthy afterword?

Will Naina have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time?

Some answers Time has and some Reader's belief...

A masterpiece of thought from you..👏

Thanks for the PM and keep coming with your best.
With love-
Minu

Minu Di! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Your comments truly are a pleasure to read! 🤗

The one aspect I love about your reviews - they are so thorough and meaningful, that they take any piece of writing to an altogether next level. Your comments propel me into exploring the deeper, hidden meaning of my stories that I sometimes forget too. Thank you so much for that!

'Close Apart' are not only two sides to the same coin but are total contrasts too. The feeling of peace mixed with pain. The hope of togetherness engulfed by a wrath of separation. The consequences of actions destined by fate.

Love and lust are often discussed and now used interchangeably in some ways. We often mistake attraction for love where in reality it's just lust. It's important to understand the characteristics of such a unique and special emotion called Love. Unconditional, irrevocable, the emotion that seldom needs words and has no boundaries. No regrets.

Thank you so much Minu Di! The idea of dreams becoming reality struck very randomly one day. I had been rambling through my brain for a suitable plot for this theme when this came up. It seemed slightly bizarre and flimsy but I thought why not give it a try. I'm really happy to hear you liked it! 😃

Lust isn't wrong. It is part of all those emotions that suddenly jolt within you. Yet it is hard to avoid and harder to justify. What Sameer experienced was natural, but the question arises, was it wrong? Had his loyalty towards Naina waver? Or do such questions have no right or wrong answers?

I wasn't listening to this, but definitely slow, heartbreak Bollywood songs at 1 AM while writing this. 😆 Not really a bad joke, I'd say. I burst into chuckles reading it! 😆

Well said. Sometimes time is all you need. And such stories are just mere perceptions that change with people. Thus the open ending...

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing Minu Di! 🤗

Quote

AMereWanderer

@AMereWanderer

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: Mayashika
The open ending of the story called me softly; the suspenseful element was retained throughout the story...this work was a stellar piece under writing, the descriptive way you have chose, the introduction. Wow!

The story when I read it first time, I was slightly confused with the plot and a bit too shocked, Sameer cheating on Naina, not with any girl but Amrita. One of the only few things I had liked in the Delhi track was Amrita and Sameer's unconditional friendship.

But the story had an intrigue factor that compelled me to read it a few more times and the fog started clearing, I had understood what exactly happened. The time 7:14 significance slipped my mind the first time but not when I read multiple times.

He cheated because he was paying attention to what he was missing rather than what he have.
But the only fact I could make peace with in this whole cheating fiasco was he was ready to own up, confess his mistake and ready to accept whatever punishment she gave him.
Still. Still the selfish lover within him burned like an inferno, he didn't want her to leave, he didn't want her to be stone-cold Naina that she is capable of being.

I had liked how you brought the rigmarole of Delhi in here, Sam has never opened about his feelings with Naina about that bittersweet phase of his life.

Close together of far apart, you will always be in my heart.

Very realistically portrayed on how lust has a big effect on a relationship; for good or bad.

Thank you so much Shreya! I'm glad to hear you liked the suspense element in this piece! The result of lack of sleep, I guess 😆

Well, their unconditional friendship took a lustful turn 😉😆 Actually I never really preferred Amrita though she had been quite helpful during the Delhi separation track. I don't know where the idea of Amrita and Sameer came into mind. Maybe from his bad company and the influence his so called friends had on Sameer gave me this idea.

The ending was truly last minute. I was confused as to how to end it when I thought of rewinding everything. Seemed bizarre to me then but I'm glad to hear it came out well.

Your quotes, Shreya! They always leave a smile on my face! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!

P.S- waiting for the review on ABFOT! 😃😳