PART 4
We waited for nearly half an hour ,then the nurse came and called me .
"Come, lets go. Its our turn"
"You sit here Sameer. I will go and come"
"Why cant I come in with you?? I need to know what's wrong with you and what all medicine you need to take."
"I promise I will tell you everything . Please Sameer you stay here."
"Hmmm..OK"
I just couldn't understand why she had a problem if I accompanied her. Doesn't she understand that I care for her and I am worried about her health. I dont know when she will learn to understand my feelings for her. After what seemed like 5 mins Nurse came and told that Doctor wanted to meet me. Now , that made me worried.
"Good Afternoon Doctor"
"Hi , are you Vishaka's son??"
"Yes." I said with a smile.
"Your mom and I were school friends. When ever she comes to Ahmedabad , she visits my house. We met just few months back but she never told that her son was engaged."
"Well Naina and I have been in love for nearly 3 years now. We told our families just couple of weeks back and they agreed." I could sense Naina's tension. I tried to ease her tension by giving a smile.
"Oh .ok Thats good then."
"Doctor , is everything ok with her??"
Yes, she has viral fever. But she is very weak and her BP is slightly low. Besides its the first day of her period , so it kind of adds up to her weakness. I was suggesting that to give her bottle of Saline, but she is not willing to stay here. I mean she doesn't need to stay here for the day, after the bottle is done , you can take her home.
"Yeah , that should be fine. You get the room ready even if she has to stay here a day to get better that would be fine."
"Alright then please wait outside. When the room is ready will call you."
I helped her get down from the examination bed and we walked out of the room. We waited in the waiting room for 15mins and during that 15 mins we spoke nothing. I knew she might have felt totally embarrased about what doctor said. Honestly even I felt a lil out of place as I was not expecting it. Naina and I have known each other for long . But we have never discussed such topics. In fact if I had to think of the level intimacy shared between us , might be couple of handholds, nothing beyond that. Even those handholds were initiated by me. I never thought of pushing her beyond her comfort zone as I knew she came from a very orthodox middle class family. She always maintained a distance , she would patiently listen to all my problems but never share her. I had initially thought it was only with me but then as I got to know her , I understood she was the same with all.
"Sir you can go in." Said the Nurse.
"Thank you " Saying so I walked into the room. They had given her sponge bath since her fever was very high and now she was lying on the bed wearing the hospital gown. They had got the IV running . Her eyes were closed as if she didn't want to face me. I also didnt think of starting a conversation and spoiling her peace of mind. At the moment my need was to her to recover from her illness. I sat on the chair placed next to the bed. I placed my palm on hers , she opened her eyes and looked at me. She didnt pull her hand from my hold.
"Sleep Naina. You are tired."
"I am not sleepy"
"OK."
Again there was this long silence. After what seemed like an hour, nurse came and removed the IV.
"When can I leave ?" Asked Naina to the Nurse
"In the evening. Your fever has reduced but you are still very weak. So doctor will come later at 3 for rounds and then if he says ok to leave , then we will set the discharge papers."
"Ok,Thank you."
"You are welcome. I will leave now as my shift ends by 12:30PM. By 2, nurse from the next shift will give you medicine and check your temperature and BP. Bye..take care" Saying so nurse rushed out , slightly closing the door.
"How are you feeling now Naina?"
"I am ok Sameer. You shouldnt have booked this room. What if Chacha ji doesnt come today. Then Tauji and Tayi ji will schold me saying that I wasted their money. You don't understand how things are at my place Sameer."
" Munna Pandit have gone to the station, they will bring Chacha ji here directly . So that you dont have to face your Tauji alone. And regarding money you dont need to worry , I will be paying it. Does that solve your problem."
"Thats not right Sameer."
"Why is it not right , Naina??"
"I mean , we are ...I mean...you and I...its just not right Sameer."
"We are what ? Huh ?? You and I what ?? You dont know what we are to each other Naina?? Is that how it is now?? Then why the hell did you try to jump from that parapet ?? To prove what ?? You know what I think we should cut this conversation. There is no point in carrying on like this. I am fed up of playing the one man show in our relationship."
Saying so I got up to go. I was so angry that I forgot that we were at the hospital and she was not well. As I got up , she held my hand tightly and said "Please dont leave me again Sameer. "
"Please dont leave you ?? When did I leave you ?? It is you who left me to chose people whom wanted to dump you with a person who was ready to take the burden for free." The moment I said it , she left my hand. There were tears trickling out of her eyes and I knew I had entered a zone I should never have. In fact my statement had back fired. For me , Naina was never a burden, she was precious and treasure that I didnt want to share with anyone not even with her Chacha ji. But the way I spoke now sounded different.
"Naina I didnt mean that you are not burden for me. What I meant is .."
"Its ok Sameer. I am feeling very tired. I will sleep for sometime. With that she carefully pulled the blanket around her and turned the other side ."
I knew what that meant but just that this time , I was not ready to let go . I walked towards the door and locked it. Then came and sat next to her on the bed and turned her towards me.
"Not this time Naina. We need to talk now ."
"Sameer , there is nothing to talk. You told what you thought was right and you are right. I am a burden to every one. My only aim is to finish my studies get a job and leave this place."
"And what about me ??"
"You have a business set up for you by your grandfather, which you will eventually lead. Isnt that what you always wanted to do?"
"Which I know , I will do and I have already started to work towards it. We both know I was talking about US. You and I , and our relationship!! In case you have forgotten let me remind you , you and I are in love...and have been for past three years...at least that is what I thought it was till you decide to ditch me for your family and choose someone else in your life as your life partner ."
"Oh yeah !! I ditched you and choose someone else!! I broke the relationship because I knew the outcome and how my family would treat you. I was scared if we would be able to stand against them. As far as choosing Sharad goes, I was never given a choice to choose. To some extant I was right both of us did not have the courage to fight for our love."
"You did not have the courage Naina . Not me!!"
"If that is the case when I broke up with you saying our parents wont allow, why did you not tell your parents and bring them to my home to ask for my hand?? Did you do that . I never broke up saying I didnt love you Sameer. I broke up saying our parents wont agree. Instead what did you do ?? You went and had a relationship with Sunaina rt?? I accepted Sharad because I had no choice but thats not the case with you. Sunaina was your choice , no one forced you into that relationship. You walked open eyes into that rt?? How come you always tend to forget about the decisions you had taken. It is not just you Sameer , I also got hurt "
"Naina, I did that hoping that you will get jealous and come back . I was angry with you."
"Then how angry should I have been to think that the guy who love me , didnt even put an effort to tell his family instead chose a girl of his choice. Not just that he took her around and held her close to him. Even when I said yes to Sharad , I couldnt even imagine him touching me or even drinking from the same bottle of juice. Was that the case with you SAmeer?? You held her hand, took her around on the bike that too her sitting close to you, you both shared food , had juice from the same bottle...do you still think we should get back together?? Later in life we might again fight and not talk , at that time will you bring another woman to prove a point ??"
"Hell we will fight and not talk!! This is going to be that last time we are going to fight. As far as not talking that never going to happen. You better be clear on that."
"You are evading my questions Sameer. You know ,when I realised that I couldnt marry Sharad , the moment he asked me to drink the juice from his bottle. I knew I couldnt marry him or anyone else. So now you tell me,how did you feel holding her in your arms ?? "
"She was never in my arms. I just held her hand. I never drank the juice she drank or ate what she ate."
"Nice argument. So if I had held his hand and if he had drank the juice I had drank or had the food that I ate , would you have thought it was OK??"
"NO!!"
"Then why do you expect me to accept what you did??"
"I know I didnt do right, the moment I realised it , I did come out of it. To answer your question, did I enjoy it ?? NO I DIDNT. I HATED EVERY MOMENT I SPENT WITH HER AND I AM SORRY. I do feel bad that I did take that decision and I promise there is never going to be repeat of that ."
"You dont need to be sorry becuase in a way I am glad you did that. If not I would have not got to see a part of your character which you had always hidden from me."
"What did I hide from you Naina. You even know about me smoking and drinking. I have never hidden anything from you."
"You know why you chose Sunaina instead of any other girl from college??"
"Yeah because she said she loves me. She was just there at that moment and you didnt like her."
"Well, there are too many girls who has the same feeling for you and I dont like any one of them..."
"What are you trying to say??"
"You chose her because you wanted to prove to me that , you had chosen me as your girlfriend even when you had a choice to have a girl like Sunaina , who was beautiful, sophisticated , fashionable and someone from similar family status and who wouldnt turn up as a burden to you or your family as she would come with a lot of wealth along with her. When I broke up saying our parents wont allow this relationship as we were from different community , you proved it to me saying that there was a bigger aspect - status and wealth. Isnt that right Sameer? Dont try to deny it. I did get a glimpse of your thoughts when you were talking about your relationship to Sharad's mother."
"NO NAINA. NOT EVEN ONCE DID I THINK ON THOSE TERMS.THE REASON I PUT THAT POINT IS TO SAVE YOUR IMAGE IN FRONT OF HER. PLEASE, lets not even think on those terms. Money can come and go any time. I have never thought of that factor when I chose my friends Naina and you know that."
"This is not about friendship. This is about being life partner, its different Sameer. So , I want us to be just friends till we finish with our education and be financially independent. After that, if we think , we still share the same feelings then we will speak to our parents."
"What are you trying to tell me?? You dont love me anymore??you dont want me in your life??"
"I didnt say that Sameer!!"
"Then what the hell do you mean by saying if we still share the same feelings??"
"Sameer , after so many years , your feelings might change and probably you might find someone else interesting like you found Sunaina in my absence. Its natural , one has to move on."
" You tell me about your feelings Naina. DO YOU STILL LOVE ME OR NOT?? WILL YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND AND DANCE ACCORDING TO THE TUNES OF YOUR FAMILY AND CHOSE SOMEONE ELSE?? Because , when I realised my mistake I broke away from Sunaina , but that was not the case with you. You said NO to Sharad because Chacha ji said no. So my dear Naina Agarwal , for once be clear and let me know what is in your mind. If you still have no courage to voice your opinion about your marriage and fight for that be clear and let me know."
She just kept looking in my eyes , and I realised she was very quiet. I kept thinking if she would brake up with me again. Fear started griping me. My intent of conversation was to end all ill feelings and start all over again but I never thought my actions had so much of an affect on her. To some extant she was right , I could have done a lot of things that would have saved our relationship. I was also partly wrong.
"Silence Naina ??"
"What do you think Sameer ?? Do you think I can live with out you?? That day when I came and sat next to you , you just left with out a word. You didnt even turn back to see what I thought or felt. The answer is whether you accept me or not, I dont think I can belong to anyone else. I can live alone with the love we shared but can never accept another person into my life. I have said the same to Chacha ji as well. Does that answer your question."
"I am glad because I feel the same Naina. I know we cant forget what happened. Lets take some learning out of it and start all over again . A new begining. Let us get married once we finish our education."
"No Sameer. Marriage only after I have a career of my own and become financially independent."
"Listen , I really dont care what you do with your career. I will support you. You can do that after marriage."
"NOPE!! After marriage there will be other complications and demands from people in the family. No not happening."
"HUH ?? What demands and from whom??"
"Listen we will talk about it when we reach there. Sameer , I am feeling tired."
"All the while when you were arguing and cornering me with your questions , you didnt feel tired?? So you better tell me whats in your mind."
By then , we heard a knock on the door. She adjusted the blanket again as I walked towards the door to open it.
PS : Do review and let me know your thoughts on this update. I know every one wanted a heart to heart conversation between Sameer and Naina. so here it is...let me know if you all liked it or not...eagerly waiting for your comments.
Edited by WeRockTheWorld - 6 years ago
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