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Chapter 4
After all the bickering and eating and enjoying, the mother-daughter duo returned home. It was about 2:30 pm. The moment they entered the house, Mr. Bhalla said
Mr. B: are tum log aa gaye. Lekin aaj late kaise ho gaya?
Ru: haan dadu. Mai or mummy papa k office gaye the.
Mr. B: lekin achanak kyu?
I: haan papaji aaj Ruhi ko man kiya toh socha ki Raman ko surprise de.
Ruhi laughed mischievously.
I: (muttering to herself) surprisingly mai kabhi iss aadmi ko surprise na doon.
Mr. B: Ishita puttar, Vandita aayi thi. Cake ke baare mein puch rahi thi.
I: are haan mujhe amma Appa k liye cake banana hai.
Ru: mummy mai bhi banaugi.
I: mera chhotu cake banaega?
Ru: haan! Aapke saath. Lekin mummy aapka chhotu cake baneaga nahi banaegi!! (She stressed on the word 'banaegi')
I: haan meri amma, oops sorry meri beti, samajh gayi.
Ru: yaay!!
I: toh chalo jaldi se fresh hokar, khana khakar, mummy or Rooh milkar cake baneage.
*************
Ishita and Ruhi, as per planned, made the cake. When they were doing the last moment icing and decorations, Raman came and saw both of these totally engrossed in their work. He smiled and walked towards them and said
R: kya ho raha hai yahan?
Ru: (just laughed a little bit seeing him.)
I: (she also smiled)
R: what is so funny? Tum dono hass kyu rahe ho?
Ru: papa chalo mummy ko thank you bolo
R: kyu?
Ru: Mummy ne aapko bacha liya
R: woh kaise
Ru: (and she narrated how Ishita lied to Mr. Bhalla and then said) toh aise bachaya mummy ne aapko.
R: oh my god! Tumhe meri fikr bhi hai. Mujhe laga ki tum toh dhindora pitogi ki tumne mujhe pita.
I: pata hai, meri aisi dil se badi tamanna thi lekin all of a sudden and I don't know why lekin mujhe yaad aa gaya ki aap Ravan Kumar ke saath saath meri Ru k papa bhi ho. Is liye unfortunately aapko bachana pad gaya...
R: (faking laughing) ha-ha. Very funny.
I: it is
Ru: uff. Abhi aap dono baat band karo or chalo jaldi se mummy cake ki decoration complete karo. Uske baad mujhe ready bhi hona ho.
I: betu aap ready ho jao. Mummy Yeh kar degi.
Ru: nahi. Ruhi ke bhi toh paati or thatha ki anni anni... Anni
I & R (unison) anniversary
Ru: haan woh hai. Toh Ruhi bhi decorate karegi. Haina papa?
R: correct. In fact sirf Ruhi nahi Ruhi ke papa bhi help Karenge.
Raman was about to touch the icing cone when Ishita slapped his hand lightly and said
I: don't you dare to touch it
R: huh? Kyu?
I: aap phir kharab kar doge...
R: are nahi karunga
With that, he started icing carefully. He actually didn't want to ruin after what all he did. But seems like good luck was not today on Raman Bhalla's side. As he completed the icing with the wishes beautifully HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AMMA APPA. Ruhi saw the cake and she was undescribably furious. She stood on the chair with he hands on her hips and an absolutely angry pout. Ishita, at first, didn't understand, but when she looked at the cake, she understood the reason behind Ruhi's anger. Ruhi screamed
Ru: Papa
R: huh?
Ru: yeh kya kiya aapne?
R: kya?
Ru: aapne sab kharab kar diya. Is liye Mummy aapko koi kaam nahi deti. (She hugged Ishita tight. Ishita hugged her back) mummy ab hum kya Karenge?
R: lekin hua kya?
Ru: papa sab kharab ho gaya
R: lekin kharab kahan hua hai. Haan thodi handwriting theek nahi hai but overall it's fine
I: actually ispar HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AMMA APPA nahi HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PAATI THATHA likhna tha
R: lekin kyu?
Ru: kyunki woh Ruhi ke paati thatha hai amma Appa nahi. Toh HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PAATI THATHA likhna hoga na. Aapko itna bhi nahi pata. Mummy sab kharab ho gaya..
R: lekin paati thatha kyu likhna hai?
I & Ru (unison): kyunki yeh cake Ruhi ki Taraf se hai.
That shocked Raman. Well, obviously, he is now going to have a tough time in wooing his little princess. He went towards Ruhi and tried to part her from her mummy but she was totally and tightly clinging on Ishita. Tired after struggling, Raman said
R: Ru sorry na princess.
Ru: nahi. No sorry. Ruhi gussa hai.
R: lekin Ruhi is baar fault aapki bhi hai. Aapne mujhe bataya nahi ki AMMA APPA nahi PAATI THATHA likhna tha. Mujhe kaise pata chalta.
I: waise Ru papa sahi bol rahe hai. Fault aapki bhi hai.
R: Tum kya dialogue maar rahi ho. Tumne bhi nahi bataya.
Before Ishita could reply, Ruhi peeped out from her mother's warmth and meekly said
Ru: sorry papa.
Raman smiled. He picked up her in his arms and she came to him whole heartily.
R: I am sorry too princess.
He kissed her cheeks which irked her. She said
Ru: Papa mujhe neeche utaro
R: huh?
Ru: maine kaha ne mujhe neeche utaro.
Raman made her stand on the chair again. Ruhi hugged her mother tight again. Ishita also hugged her tight again.
R: Ru kya hua?
Ru: Ruhi phir se gussa hai.
R: lekin ab maine kya kiya?
Ru: Agar aapko mujhe kissie deni hai toh jao jakar face theek karo.
R: kyu?
Ru: kyunki papa aapki dadhi chhubti hai. Pehle face theek karo uske baad baat karenge. Ok!
With that she stormed off while Raman looked on shocked. He said, audible enough for Ishita.
R: bilkul baap pe gayi hai. Kya style mein announce kar k chali gayi. (Looking towards Ishita) yeh sab tumne he sikhaya hoga na?
I: what? Are you mad? Mai uski maa hoon. Mai use yeh sab kyu sikhaungi. Or waise bhi agar use aapki dadhi chhubti hai toh mai kya karu. Samajhna toh aapko chahiye, shave karlo. Lekin nahi aapko toh bas apni chalani hai...
R: yaar tum kitna baat karti ho.
I: lekin
R: shut up. Ab yeh batao ki iss cake ka kya karna hai?
I: kya karna hai? Aapne kharab kiya hai na. Toh aap theek karo. I don't know.
R: hey why are you doing this?
I: what?
R: batao na...
I: aap chhodho. Mai kar dungi.
R: lekin karogi kya?
I: dekhte jao.
Ishita started icing again. After completing,she showed it to Raman. It was written
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
AMMA APPA/PAATI THATHA
FROM IshRaRu
Though the last words were smaller than even an ant.
R: IshRaRu?
I: haan Ishita ka Ish,Raman ka Ra and Ruhi ka Ru.
R: kya baat hai madrasan I am impressed.
Raman was really impressed. He admired her for her thoughtfulness. He said
R: lekin aap mujhe batane ka kasht karengi ki aapne mera naam kyu likha
I: Ruhi ki wajah se.
R: huh?
I: after what all you did, mera toh bilkul mann nahi tha ki mai aapka naam likhu. Lekin mujhe yaad aaya ki...
R: (cutting her in between) ki mai sirf Ravan Kumar he nahi balki Ruhi ka papa bhi hoon.
I: (smiling) correct
R: wonderful.
Just then she heard a scream,
Ru: mummy, Mummy...
I: (screamed Back) aayi beta.. (turning towards Raman) Raman please ek kaam karo na... Yeh cake jakar Amma ke ghar rakh aao. (And she started to leave but before leaving she said) or suno please koi gadbad mat karna... (And she also stormed off)
R: (muttering to himself) kya kismat hai. Pehle beti phir biwi, dono order kar k chali gayi.
And Raman went to Iyer house, kept the cake and also apologised to Mr. Iyer. He also forgave him.
***************
(Well once again not going very deep in this sequence. This is same as happened in the show. Mrs. Bhalla wanted some fun while Mr. Bhalla warned her not do anything mischievous. Mrs. Bhalla already took the 'loaded' bottle, but before she could drink, Mr. Bhalla came and she left the bottle then and there itself. So the scene starts from here. Well they are dressed as the same as they were in the show.)
Mr. and Mrs. Bhalla left. Ishita also decided to leave with Ruhi as Raman was getting ready. But Ruhi said
Ru: Mummy aap abhi mat chalo.
I: kyu betu?
Ru: aap papa ke saath aana.
I: lekin...
Ru: no lekin jaisa bola hai waisa karo
I: Ru...
Ru: please.
I: ok.
Ruhi also went while Ishita was waiting for Raman to come.
Raman came out. Ishita said, actually scolded
I: kitna time lagate ho aap. Pata hai sab chale gaye.
R: are toh tum bhi chale jaati.
I: kaise jaati
R: kyu?
I: Ruhi ne bola ki Mummy Papa ko saath mein entry maarni hai...
R: oh god!
I: aisa lagta hai...
And that's when she started coughing badly. At first Raman didn't take that seriously as he thought that it will stop in a minute but when it didn't, he got worried. He took that bottle kept on the table and made her drink and also patted her back saying
"Aaram se. Dhyaan kahan rehta hai tumhara."
While she was just holding his hands. She almost drank 3/4 of it. He asked
R: theek ho?
I: haan.. lekin yeh kaisa taste hai...
R: taste ko chhodho. You are fine na?
They were about to leave when he got a call again. He said
R: mai bas do minute mein aaya.
I: jaldi aana.
By the time Raman came back, Ishita was high. When she saw Raman coming back, she said smilingly
I: aiyyo Raman! Kya lag rahe ho..
R: (totally shocked) huh??
I: kisi Superman se kam nahi...
R: oye kya hua tumhe..
I: mujhe kya hoga..
R: chalo.
And he literally dragged her and took her to Iyer house. And the drama starts.
I: (saying aloud) Amma! I am here.
R: Ishita sabko dikh raha hai ki you are here. Announce karne ki kya zaroorat hai?
I: (very cutely) are aapko dikh nahi raha hai Amma busy hai guests k saath. Unko pata hona chahiye ki I am here
She then walked towards Mr. Iyer and said cupping his cheeks, while Raman was just following her totally confused about her behaviour
I: Appa kya lag rahe ho! Super hot haan.
Everyone was hell shocked. Raman can't believe his eyes. Ishita saw a cute little fat boy with a plate full of delicacies standing nearby. She went towards him and said
I: kitna khaoge.
Boy: huh? Lekin akka...
I: (ordering like a cop) tummy fat visible. Start work out.
She saw one more man standing beside. She assumed that man to be the boy's father. She said
I: aapko sharam nahi aati.. aapka baby kha raha hai or aap kuch bol he nahi rahe ho... (Shouted) are you mad? This is intolerance.
That was more than enough. Raman took her with himself so that she couldn't make any scene, mumbling a sorry. Mr. Iyer also apologised to the guests and said them to carry in. Raman took her to kitchen. He was about to speak to her when Mrs. Bhalla called him. He left from there leaving Ishita there only. Mrs. Bhalla asked
Mrs. B: oye yeh kya hua use?
R: (little bit frustrated) mujhe kya pata maa.
Mrs. B: kuch oot pataang toh nahi kha liya na
R: lunch mein kya khaya tha?
Mrs. B: lunch hum sab ne saath kiya tha... Waise bhi abhi toh theek thi..
R: kya pata kya khaya hoga? (Then something struck in his mind) are abhi woh cold drink piya tha. Bol bhi rahi thi ki ajeeb sa taste hai..
Mrs. B: (shocked) woh Jo table par padi thi?
R: haan wahi..
Mrs. B: (laughing a bit) oye woh meri loaded wali thi
R: (shocked) kya?
Mrs. B: (pushing him) jaaa... Jakar use sambhal.
Well he was clearly in for a shock. He was actually confused of whether he should enjoy this moment of drunk madrasan or he should be with her so that she doesn't create any scene. He decided to do both. 😆 Evil him. He decided to enjoy the silly stupid drunk madrasan but will also be with her so that the party doesn't spoil. He was going towards the kitchen when he saw Ruhi playing with Shravan. He went towards Ruhi and called her
R: Ruhi idhar aao beta
Ru: (she came running towards him( kya hua papa..
R: (he didn't say anything but just kissed her both cheeks)
Ru: (she caressed her cheeks and said) aauuu papa aapki dadhi chhubti hai.
And she ran away. Raman smiled seeing his princess so happy.
When Raman went in the kitchen, he saw Ishita had prepared a plate for herself and was eating without caring anything and was talking to herself
I: hmmm... It's so yumm. Yeh sab wahan kyu nahi milta. Everyday ghee ghee ghee ghee ghee and only ghee. (She let out a small cry )Amma mujhe dosa khana hai..
That was when Raman came and said
R: (trying to snatch the plate from her) madrasan bas bahut ho gaya. Chhodho ise.
I: (she also gave her full force) nahiii! Kaise karte ho. Chhodho mujhe
R: Ishita bahut kha liya tumne. Chalo ghar chalo.
I: (making a confuse puppy face) ghar kyu jaana hai. Mujhe nahi jaana. Mere Amma Appa ki wedding anniversary hai Jo tumne kharab kar di thi. Mujhe ghar nahi jaana.
R: (making an eye contact with her) Ishita dekho bas ho gaya tumhara. Chalo ghar chalo.
I: nahiii. Tum hamesha aise karte ho. Baat baat par tokna hai. Mujhe nahi aana tumhara saath.
R: Ishita suno
I: ( but she was going on struggling)
R: (he thought of an idea) Ishita tumhe ghar nahi jaana?
I: (this time she made super cutest puppy face seeing which Raman couldn't help but smile) (she shook her head signing a big no and said) nahi mujhe nahi jaana. Mujhe mere Amma Appa k pass rehna hai. Please.
R: alright mere pass ek shart hai.
I: (asked ever so sweetly) kaisi shart?
R: tum mujhe yeh plate de do or jakar chup chap kone mein baith jao. Toh mai tumhe ghar lekar nahi jaunga.
But this so innocent looking Ishita was not so innocent. Her mischievous and detective mind surely sensed some conspiracy going on in her husband's mind. She thought something in her mind while her expressions were confusing Raman to hell extent.
And she ran away from there mumbling a loser to him and laughing a bit at him. Raman started following her.
(Note: Mean time Subbu's mother has arrived in the party)
Ishita was running when she bumped with Subbu's mother. While Subbu's mother was totally furious, Ishita was trying to fun around everywhere. Ishita said
(Raman was watching everything from afar)
I: happy holi aunty...
Mihika held Ishita by her arms and said
Mi: I am so sorry aunty. Aap jakar change kar lo...
S.M: (rudely) it's OK!!
I: oye koi problem nahi Hui. (Mumbling to Mihika as if a secret) aunty k pass na aesi bahut si sarees hai. Bilkul Same to same. Amma ne gift kiya hai. Kuch toh bilkul Same hai...
Mrs. I: aiyyo I am really sorry. Aap change kar lo...
S.M: bola na it's OK.
Mrs. I: lekin aise kaise
S.M: already aapki pyaari beti ne itni insult toh kar di hai. Ab or bhi kuch bacha hai kya. Ishita jaisi ladki se or kya expect kar sakte hai. Ek baanj hone ke baad bhi iski akad toh dekho. Do shadiyan tut chuki hai or teesri bhi jald he tuut karogi...
Before she could continue, Raman screamed on top of his voice scaring everyone
"BAS"
Raman walked towards Ishita, side hugged her, while she also leaned on him carelessly, but something happened to her also after listening those ruthless words.
R: (pointing his finger towards Subbu's mother as if accusing her) aapko ek baar bola toh samajh nahi aaya. Ek insaan aapse kab se sorry keh raha hai lekin aapko saamne wale ki feelings ki koi kadar he nahi hai. Waise aapko kabhi saamne wale ki feelings ki koi kadar thi he nahi. Isliye toh aapne Ishita ko... Khair. Thank you. Thank you very much. Ki aapne apne bete ki shadi Ishita se nahi karayi. Isliye aaj Ishita mere saath hai mere pass hai. I am grateful ki yeh meri life mein aayi. Yeh ek perfect biwi, perfect maa, perfect bahu hai. Mera ghar sambhalti hai. Meri beti ko sambhalti hai. Mujhe sambhalti hai. Apna clinic sambhalti hai.
Turning towards everyone he said
"In fact mai aap sab se sorry kehna chahta hoon. Aaj meri biwi thoda sa thak gayi hai. Isliye aise... Anyways aap log party enjoy kariye. Amma hum nikal rahe hai."
His hold on Ishita tightened and he said to her while glaring Subbu's mother
"Chalo Ishita. Ab humare yahan rehne ka koi matlab nahi hai."
Just as he was about to leave with Ishita, he heard her meek voice..
I: (eyes totally moist) aunty is mein meri kya galti..
Raman was again in for a shock as he didn't expect Ishita to back answer to anyone on this topic, that too in this tipsy taste.
I: (getting out from Raman's hold and moving towards Subbu's mother) yeh toh kisi ko bhi ho sakta tha. Aapke us fattu bete ko bhi (Raman slightly smiled)
S.m: Ishita!! (Screaming aloud)
I: chup! mai bhi chilla Sakti hoon. You and your fattu son, both are a big big big fattu. Aami tumake kotho bolbe na.
And she stormed off after the declaration. Raman's smile grew wider. He was about to follow her when Subbu's mother again said
S.M: dekha madhu tumhari beti...
R: are bas karo yaar. Aapke pass koi kam nahi hai na.
And with that that he left not before saying
"Achha waise Ruhi ke school mein kinder garden me admissions chal rahe hai. Aap bhi naam enroll kara lo. You really need to learn some manners."
And he finally left from there.
When he entered his bedroom, he saw Ishita siting on the floor hugging herself, crying? Not exactly crying but sobbing. He also sat beside her and said
R: ab ro kyu rahi ho?
I: (guess that was the last trigger, she started crying bitterly, and in between said) what do you mean kyu ro rahi hoon. Dekha nahi woh fattu kya kya bol rahi thi.
R: Ishita!! Jane do na.
I: (crying,) aise kaise Jane do...
R: (interrupting her in middle) dekho agar Ruhi ne tumko rote hue dekha, toh usko kitna bura lagega..
I: (hiccups stopped a little - she wiped her tears and said) haan woh bhi hai
R: hai na! (He wiped her tears with his thumb) chalo ab rona band karo. Or chalo mere saath... (He said holding her hand)
I: kahan?
R: chalo toh..
I: pehle batao phir chalungi..
R: (he was obviously a bit hesitant. But he said mustering up all the courage) ummm... Chalo washroom.
The funniest thing yet to happen. In her tipsy state also, she understood the double meaning in this line. Though he was not in a mood for double meanings.
He stood up. She also stood up. And she started screaming and accusing him like a baby.
I: you donkey. Donkey no. 1. Tum mujhe washroom le jakar mere saath hanky panky karoge...
Today was day of shocks for Raman. He was yet again in for a shock. He screamed back
R: tum kya pagal ho?
I: mai nahi you pagal...
R: listen mujhe koi hanky panky nahi karni tumhare saath
I: toh phir mujhe washroom kyu bula rahe ho? (And she again started screaming) Amma... Mujhe meri Amma k pass jaana hai.. Amma.. Ammaaa!!!
R: (frustrated and interrupting her in between) khabardar! Agar tumne ek or baar apni Amma ka naam liya na toh... Toh...
I: (still crying) toh kya?
R: (thinking after a second) toh mai sach mein tumhare saath hanky panky kar dunga...
That was obviously enough to make her cry. She screamed again
AMMAAA...!!!
While Raman screamed back
ISHITAAA...!!!
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