Posted:
Hello. So I am a YHM/IshRa/Raman/Ishita/KP/DT fan. I made this id to make this post, and only this post. This is not a criticism of any of the actors (as they do what is written in the script), or characters. My complaint is towards the writers/directors/creatives. I am honestly really worried about posting this here, as I do not want to initiate a fight, but something triggered and disturbed me so bad yesterday, so I could not stay silent.
I have seen domestic violence up close. I have also seen physical abuse, emotional abuse, and mental abuse. None of those are romantic. They are hurtful, and scarring, and leave marks on the victim for life.
A man (father/son/brother/friend/boyfriend/husband/stranger) getting frustrated over something, and attacking a woman (again, his daughter/mother/sister/friend/girlfriend/wife/stranger) is so very common. There are two main reasons for this:
1. Men are taught to be aggressive and to not display their emotions from a very small age.
2. Women are taught to be docile, submissive, and tolerant, no matter what is thrown at them.
We have all seen that advertisement in which a little boy is always told, "ladke rote nahin", and he ends up not crying, but physically abusing his wife as a grownup.
Let me come to my point. Raman is a very very complex character. With a lot of pain in his past, lot of insecurities. He has been left behind by people he loved an unbearable number of times. And if there is one person who understands all of this, it is Ishita.
That does NOT make Ishita a potential receptor of his frustrations. Especially when he takes it out on her by strangling her. Especially not without his realizing he did something absolutely horrible. Especially not without Ishita reacting negatively towards it. Especially not with Ishita hugging him and consoling right after.
A woman is not tasked with the job to make better the man in her life. We all think she is. I used to think so too. Because we have all been conditioned to think so. But it is not. We are not sent down to earth on a heavenly mission to bear everything thrown at us, if it makes the men in our lives a little less unhappy. And if you are in a relation where you have to do so, RUN, because that is an abusive relationship.
I love KP. He is an actor with brilliance evident in every scene he does. Yesterday's breakdown was no different. And I love Raman. I have always loved Raman. He is a very real character, one we have all seen at some point in our lives (of course, not as romantic and definitely not as hot). So I beg, BEG the creatives to not make a mess out of his character. That strangling was unnecessary, and did not contribute one bit to the plot or the IshRa love story. He could have easily punched the wall if the purpose was to make him react physically towards the news. And Ishita should NOT have been shown acceptive of this behavior. The message this sends out is really, really bad. There were a hundred different ways to go about this, and this was not one of them. And if you think that it is not that deep, and that it's just a show, you are not aware of just how much media influences a person's behavior and outlook.
I know creatives read IF. I know they have taken suggestions and plotlines from this forum. So please PLEASE if someone is reading this, please do not make such a mistake again. Your show has a largely female fan base. They need to know that it is not okay to be abused. Even if the love the person abusing them.
(I understand if people feel they should not comment here. So I repeat, this is NOT a criticism against the characters or the actors. It is against the creatives, and the largely casual attitude generally taken against abuse and violence at home. Believe me, there is nothing casual about it.)
Thank you for reading. Stay blessed.
I have seen domestic violence up close. I have also seen physical abuse, emotional abuse, and mental abuse. None of those are romantic. They are hurtful, and scarring, and leave marks on the victim for life.
A man (father/son/brother/friend/boyfriend/husband/stranger) getting frustrated over something, and attacking a woman (again, his daughter/mother/sister/friend/girlfriend/wife/stranger) is so very common. There are two main reasons for this:
1. Men are taught to be aggressive and to not display their emotions from a very small age.
2. Women are taught to be docile, submissive, and tolerant, no matter what is thrown at them.
We have all seen that advertisement in which a little boy is always told, "ladke rote nahin", and he ends up not crying, but physically abusing his wife as a grownup.
Let me come to my point. Raman is a very very complex character. With a lot of pain in his past, lot of insecurities. He has been left behind by people he loved an unbearable number of times. And if there is one person who understands all of this, it is Ishita.
That does NOT make Ishita a potential receptor of his frustrations. Especially when he takes it out on her by strangling her. Especially not without his realizing he did something absolutely horrible. Especially not without Ishita reacting negatively towards it. Especially not with Ishita hugging him and consoling right after.
A woman is not tasked with the job to make better the man in her life. We all think she is. I used to think so too. Because we have all been conditioned to think so. But it is not. We are not sent down to earth on a heavenly mission to bear everything thrown at us, if it makes the men in our lives a little less unhappy. And if you are in a relation where you have to do so, RUN, because that is an abusive relationship.
I love KP. He is an actor with brilliance evident in every scene he does. Yesterday's breakdown was no different. And I love Raman. I have always loved Raman. He is a very real character, one we have all seen at some point in our lives (of course, not as romantic and definitely not as hot). So I beg, BEG the creatives to not make a mess out of his character. That strangling was unnecessary, and did not contribute one bit to the plot or the IshRa love story. He could have easily punched the wall if the purpose was to make him react physically towards the news. And Ishita should NOT have been shown acceptive of this behavior. The message this sends out is really, really bad. There were a hundred different ways to go about this, and this was not one of them. And if you think that it is not that deep, and that it's just a show, you are not aware of just how much media influences a person's behavior and outlook.
I know creatives read IF. I know they have taken suggestions and plotlines from this forum. So please PLEASE if someone is reading this, please do not make such a mistake again. Your show has a largely female fan base. They need to know that it is not okay to be abused. Even if the love the person abusing them.
(I understand if people feel they should not comment here. So I repeat, this is NOT a criticism against the characters or the actors. It is against the creatives, and the largely casual attitude generally taken against abuse and violence at home. Believe me, there is nothing casual about it.)
Thank you for reading. Stay blessed.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
CID
