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He said it himself. Life, what life? He died the day Ishita and Ruhi did. The difference is just that people can still see him. But he looks lifeless. The weak shadow of the man he was when his wife was with him. With her, he laughed and he cried. He joked and he teased. He loved his family openly.
And yes, as expected. He now hates Ishita because he loves Ishita. Because she left him behind. He would rather be dead too. With her. He wants to be with her. Here, there was no adultery, no betrayal. Rather, I think, and as I have pointed out before, Raman underestimated the power he had over Ishita. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think she would try to kill herself after he imploded. Which reveals that these two idiots seriously underestimated how much they loved each other. It was more than they could even imagine. And now the consequences are finally becoming clearer.
And we have seen, whether Raman is drunk or sober, he pushes his family away. It's been 7 years, and he doesn't allow people to try and lessen his pain. The only one who has even come close, and only because he was hurt, was Adi. Otherwise he shuns people. Because none of those people are Ishita.
Ishita, love of his life, confidante, best friend. None of these people are capable of doing what Ishita did in the past. He won't let anyone else unravel the 'jalebi' as Ishita once put it, that is Raman Bhalla. He said today that no one listens to him. But the truth is he is the one that shuts everyone out himself. And I think it's because no one can be given the right Ishita was. No one but Ishita, has brought this Raman to life. And no one but Ishita will.
And therefore, sharing this sheer agony with a stranger makes sense to Raman. This stranger will remain a stranger. Tomorrow will be another day, where a hangover, and continuing agony will encompass him.
Little did Raman know the very stranger would be the only one he would actually be willing to give himself completely to. The only one who has the right to Know him completely, every broken part of him. The only person he allowed his was his wife, and that is why Shagun is no one important to Raman. And that is why he won't cry his heart out to his mother. That is why he doesn't speak to his father.
Because the only person in the world allowed to see every tormented part of him, is Ishita. And she isn't here anymore. Raman once said if she left, this Raman would be no more too. And Raman is being true to his word I think.
His whole world revolved around her. So yes, he hates her so much, because he loves her so much. Because she didn't fight like the Jhansi ki rani she is. She didn't come back so they could heal together.
Raman, in self destruct mode couldn't comprehend he had the ability to kill Ishita. And now has literally created a hell on earth for himself. It's like he lives in self imposed exile. And Ishita is the only one who can bring him back.
Anupamaa
