Ishita sat on the bench sobbing not knowing how to tell Raman that all their efforts would not produce a child of there own. As Ishita sat there crying, on the bench Raman watched her cry from there bedroom window. Not knowing how to comfort her. It was only a few moments before they had received the phone call from Dr. Manoj telling them that even if Isitha where to get pregnant she would not be able to carry the baby to full-term.
Thankfully Ishita and Raman were home alone today the family had gone out for a picnic and would not be back for another two days.
Not realizing how he made his way down to Ishita, Raman now sat with Ishita in his arms, sobbing. Not saying anything he let her cry her heart out and shared in her pain with his own tears. This moment was their moment to share alone together. And it was while sobbing in each other's arms both Raman and Ishita realized that they at least had each other and that no matter what the universe had in store for them they would face it together.
They didn't talk for the rest of the afternoon, instead spending the time in their own world going about their day making lunch together eating in silence.
Later in the evening while lying in bed, Raman held Ishita, and said,
"Ishita, I love you if we are not together for a child we are together for each other. If it is meant to be we will have a child of our own. And if it is not meant to be then we will still be happy with the joy that God has given us so far."
Some how this did not bring comfort to Ishita, not only was she sad she was angry, at Raman for awaking in her a dream that maybe there was a possibility that she could conceive a child of her own. Even though she was happy in the world they had created, when Raman gave her hope on their anniversary, with the possibility, of having a child grow in her and then give birth started to slowly creep into her mind everyday. At work in quiet moments between patients, while making dinner, and after her night together with Raman, every waking moment thought was always there that maybe their family would grow by one.
Yet she needed Raman tonight because he was the only who new how she felt, because the dream had been theirs together.
So when Raman tried to reach over to hold her she lashed out at him. "NO Raman don't, I don't touch me what's the use we will never be parents!"
As Raman tried to hold her again, he yelled back at her,
"What is wrong with you Ishita, don't push me away!" Then barley above a whisper, he said, "We need each other to get through this situation. If we give up on each other when we need each other the most we will not come through this situation."
Ishita new he was right, she was lashing out at the one person who new what she was going through, and she needed him now more than she needs anyone at this moment. And so she grabbed him and hugged him with more force than she had intended and kissed him, with such force, Raman fell back on the bed and Ishita now lay on top of him.
He didn't kiss her back, he was taken aback by her reaction, dumb founded would be the word, in fact. So he just lay there it seemed for an eternity with his hands at his side not knowing how to respond. In reality it had only been two seconds, and then he rapped his arms around Ishita and kissed her back, he poured his love his anger at the situation all into the kiss, just as Ishita was doing.
Ishita took control of the kiss by bitting Raman's lower lip and she drew blood. Raaman cringed in pain, but she sooth the pain by licking the blood away. She plunged her tongue into his mouth, now that she gained entry, and sucked Raman's tongue into her own mouth, in and out. In and out, in and out, slowly at first and then faster and faster stealing the breath right out of Raman.
Raman let her take the lead sensing that right now Ishita needed to be in control, she needed to take the lead right now, since outside of their bedroom she had no control.
She took off Raman's shirt and lay him back down on the bed placing her head where his heart was and listened to his heart beat fast and that beat was for her.
She made love to her husband that night she took the lead and took claim of Raman. She poured her love into him; she needed to feel him tonight, she needed his strong arms on her, around her, all over her.
She kissed his closed eyes, his temple, and the right side of his cheek, down his neck, and down to his heart and placed a kiss there too.
She made love to Raman that night with such tenderness that Raman broke, even when this woman was in pain herself she had the ability, to care for someone else with such tenderness.
What Raman failed to understand was that Istita was making herself feel better, by making love to the person that she loved more than anyone else and it was in this act that she took comfort.
As Ishita placed a kiss over Raman's heart, her hands found their way to his shaft and stroked it making Raman go hard.
As she stroked Raman Ishita, bit Raman's nipple and licked it and then sucked on it making Raman moan in rapture. Stroking Raman harder she took his other nipple and repeated herself.
Raman couldn't take it anymore and was about to take Ishita and get on top to drive himself into her, Ishita, pushed him back down and took him into her instead, and he let her ride him instead.
She took his lips and rode him slowly, she rode him fast and she rode him rough. They came together, and Ishita crashed onto Ramans chest, and she lay there holding Raman, listening once again to his heart race for her.
She held on to him not wanting to face anything in the real world, wanting to only live be in the moment here with Raman, holding her. And her holding him for the rest of the night
This is how she fell asleep with her head place over his heart, still not ready to face the outside world, but at least in her husbands arms.
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