Some points from my reply which got erased due to the shitty ipad!! I had written a huge para about appa too but that can be talked another time... This oneis about why the bhallas rushed into the marriage n why II never sat back n thought about it.
People are debating the rush for the marriage... Yeah, sam had her brother's nomad nature n his wanting to do nothing with bhalla sr as her main reason... Bhalla sr. was all for a any and every bridgethat would abridge the huge chasm between him n his son... From what we had read up until he took r&B ka rishta to II's place, he looked like he never cared for the socio-economic divide between the families,.. He wasnt looking for a rich bride for his beta... He sure was looking for someone who evoked some reaction from his impassive beta... N II was evoking as well as delivering HUGE reactions... Something he saw R&B do that he used to do with his sisters... Fought with them n fought mean!! Others he didnt spare so much as a glance...he knew II held some place in his son's heart... You know they say a parent knows their child's wants n needs much before the child acknowledges it... Similar was the case with Ranjan!! He was ready to sacrifice his presence in the wedding when he came to know R&Bhad himself gone n proposed II.. He now surely knew his son wanted this marriage so he was ready to do whatever to make it happen.. He understood Appa's hatred stemmed from Bhalla Sr's scandal to begin with and then progressed onto becoming the resentment he felt for the way R&B had pushed II in a whirlpool of attraction, want n love. Somethings that his sorted daughter had never done even when being engaged to subbu were a regular affair at DII now
Now coming to R&B... Yes, he rushed into marriage...he wanted to be married on that sunday back in feb itself?? His reasons may seem on the surface that he wanted her for himslf n was due to frustrations of the restrictions he was facing at the hands of II's family n II's mindset as well... But I feel deep-down it was more than just laying his hands on her... He craves her company like he craves water... He even said "I dont like reading" or something similar to II on this Sundayđ Ok that stemmed more out of his urge for physicsl intimacy than anything... But a guy once told me that physical intimacy n committment in terms of babies is the ultimate reality check for a guy... A non-OTT guy would express love in that way, through physical intimacy n committing for children... R&B cant wait to have II or babiesđ... He is respecting II's wishes n understands that he cant take liberties n ignore her wishes right from day 1 in this matter... He isnt orthodox about his wife's right for its her who has to bear the child n she will be the primary care-giver...anyway, his decision to marry II was not made in a rage or was not really spontaneous.. I feel it was very organic... It was more a revalation... He was, is n will be forever, very affected n attuned to everything that II ever does, says or reacts to. He showed it by talking soo much on that metro ride... Soo difficult for him to have a mundane conversation with anyone but for II he did it, couldnt take her silence ... Was ready to do anything n everything to hear her talk(didnt savvy talk endlessly n he listened... Ranjan had once told II) n yet II didnt talk... He followed her like a lost puppy wanting II's attention to a room full of strangers when she visited munirka at Vandu's n sree n family came over??( this sounds like ages ago to me)... He knows his attraction stemmed from the fact that II resembled Savvy in many ways... The only person he was ever so strongly possessive of n lost before he met II... II's nature, her innocence n good heart n mostly her eyes showed him he could get what he lost in his Ma in form of II's company...its another story, he doesnt seem to be a guy who makes "friends" like II does, so the best he could do was provoke her to fight... That got him huge reactions from her... Didnt he cancel his paris trip after he thought of II n his real fight... He wanted II, wanted to hear her talk, wanted to see her innocence when she interacted with Shravu, n all this without interruption... He had been told n had seen proofs of II meeting iyer boys for marriage... When II ended it by sending back his things, he knew he didnt want II to be "an-interest-he-never-pursued" in his life... He wanted a relationship with her... A committed lover relationship.. One that traditionally people in west have before they take the plunge.. But he knew he wouldnt get that with II, not just due to indian values(yes it was a biggg factor) but I think it stemmed from the fact that he experienced a connect he hadnt experienced in his 15years of active life n that physical intimacy was just NOT THE ONLY THING in this equation!!... When he was was roaming around sringeri temple that early morning he was trying to sort out the puzzle that his interactions with II were for him... It was sure not a "relationship", definitely not "comfortable friendship", the best description of it was an intense sexual attraction, an uncomfortable war of professional ideologies n definitely a connect he felt that he hadnt felt in any of his previous relationships( he even shared his Ma's barsi with her, I doubt he was so open with M or M even cared for this)...the wedding beats were for him I think more his Ma's intervention to his turmoil n his confusion about what to do about II n his relationship- to let go n carry on like he had in the past or pursue her for a relationship.. He possibly wasnt thinking marriage until those wedding beats interrupted his thoughts... I think he was contemplating how to convince her n whether she would agree given she had been giving those accusing glances at him n that it was not do-able for an Iyer daughter living with her family ... He felt a revelation that he wanted marriage because he realized all this maybe - the connect, the attraction n ache from the fact that he had to be away from her since she was ending it with him by returning everything that linked them to each other, he realized the spark hadnt died for him even after knowing that she could possibly be choosing another man- an iyer ... I'd like to think that his thought possibly worked like that but I could be totally off-track.. Am a goner, a romantic, think n see everything with rosy glasses... But finally I would like to say that he thought like the famous quote from when harry met sally "when you realize you love someone, you cant wait to begin the rest of your life with them"... For him he had had that realization... Something that got confirmed after seeing that II had returned everything except his handwritten love note...đł I like to think R&B has gone into this relationship withhis feelings sorted... Just that the quiet one never expressed it to The Kid in the relationship...đ
As for II, she knows n has known all along since the day she fell sick after that party how deep she has gone in this "interaction" with R&B ...but lack of communication n explicit claim of love from the Dude is causing all her insecurities... N she is refraining to express her love n the social n economic divide is adding a whole new dimension to it.
Edited by harshita27 - 10 years ago
