Baanj ......... A curse no more

Wow its been so long since you posted or we discussed something...this feels like a deja vu somehow and yet it isnt. Its been a while since I have picked apart the nitty-gritty of the show months to be precise so I dont know how coherent I am gonna be but here goes nothing.

Last night has moved me, I honestly cant remember the last time a scene moved me to this extent when it comes to this show it could have been the bench scene during the accident track or the night when Raman was lost in that haze drunk out of his mind when these two faced an ugly scenario in their marriage ...but we are long past that point now and at this juncture they have surpassed hurdles and yet a lot more awaits them...what has remained as the single constant though is that with each passing hurdle these two have gotten stronger, their relationship has cemented further and that is what happened on this night too - the night of their anniversary - it was a year ago, that they took the vows for a child, came together in the bonds of holy matrimony so that a little girl could have a complete family with parents, the two people she sorely missed and needed in her life and so that a woman who was labeled as Baanj - a woman who was cruelly humiliated for a complication, an issue she couldnt control could be the mother to a child who needed one more than anything in this world...a man meekly submitted to the match to please his child but in his heart of hearts had had no hopes about anything, he had done that...played the gamble of life and lost cruelly once because of a woman he chose to love who couldnt understand nor appreciate him or his feelings in return...it was a day when three incomplete people came together - I say three not two, as opposed to whats expected because there were three of them - a child, a woman and a man - each of them had a lot to give in terms of love and care, but had no takers.

Their lives had a lacuna that had overtaken them so completely.

A child missed her parents.

A man wanted a family, his family.

A woman needed someone to love...to be loved in return by someone - accepted for who she is...

Each of these had what the other could give and needed...a man had a child and a heart, shielded and wounded as it was willing to love seeking to be only loved in return...a woman wanted a child she could love and be loved by in return.

On a day a year ago from now, these lives came together - the man and the woman married - the child got her parents and the woman got a daughter...in the course of this one year they healed each other, discovered each other and filled the emptiness that was in their lives by being there for the other.

A year hence they are complete...

A year hence the man who wished nothing more than to avoid this woman earlier wants to start a family with her, not for his sake but because he knows what it would mean to her...

I dont know why but I was so reminded of JWM because of this...I know its way off the mark but bear with me...the movie is one of my all time favorites not just because it stars Shahid who I have a crazy crush on but because its just one of those movies which makes it seem like sometimes all that you need to do is change your perspective towards life, your problems...accept them, face them.

A scene in the movie I love is when finally Aditya reveals to Geet who he is, his identity and she callously speaks about his mother - you see how he reacts, how he absolutely loses his cool and she...the hyper one of the two calms him down and makes him see that holding onto that anger, that hatred is not gonna help him, he needs to accept his mother' choice, her decision...he needs to move on and make peace with her...to feel in charge of his life, he needs to take charge of his emotions first. He brushes aside her words saying its all a bunch of crap, poetic nonsense and stuff...but in the end that is what he does - he takes charge of his emotions lets go of all the negativity plaguing his mind because in the end he realizes SOCIETY doesnt matter...the hate, the anger he held for his mother were caused by society at large, the norms that dictate what is proper and isnt as per a few people who think they can set the guidelines for everyone...but do the norms of society necessarily make you happy? Are the conditions imposed by them acceptable in all cases? NO

Like Aditya' mom in JWM needed to break the shackles of society, tonight YHM also challenged another one of those predominated mindsets of society...

Is it fair that a married woman stay with her husband regardless of the fact that there is no love in the marriage just because it pleases the society?

Does a woman need to give birth to be a mother ? Being maternal cannot be ingrained in her regardless of the biological impairment she may face ?

Aditya himself admits in the movie his parents were never happy together - they fought all the time...his mother might have found her happiness with a man who finally made her feel loved...he needed to accept that whats acceptable to the society need not always make you happy...and what makes the society happy, what it approves need not make your life better...

In accepting her condition, Ishita had submitted herself to her fate long ago but she was NOT happy...she was NOT at peace with herself...she couldnt be because a man judged and left her due to a reason beyond her control and shook the core of her identity...her worth as a woman was questioned and crushed by him in an instant after over a decade of togetherness...

But in the one year of her marriage in Ruhi Ishita found a child who made her a mother regardless of them not sharing any biological bond - to have accepted herself as a Baanj now Ishita would have belittled and crushed the fights her daughter fought for her and that would have been UNACCEPTABLE.

So if you ask me what I saw last night, I would say I saw the acceptance of a woman she need not adhere to the norms of the society to say she is COMPLETE, to say she is HAPPY - because she has a child who she adores more than anything in this world who loves her just as much, a man who loves her for who she is, has fallen for her not despite herself but for all that she is...in admitting to Raman last night she is complete, she is happy...Ishita followed her heart and if some society cant adhere to it...then its no longer her problem - Ishita Bhalla is a woman, she is a MOTHER and she needs no one' stamp of approval to state the same.

here i have someone whose posts I have always missed reading on this forum from a loonnng lonnnggg time

Fantastic Post!!

U have analysed the entire sequence so well with the past connections that the whole circle of Ishra's journey seems now completed!! Brilliant!

I dont think I have seen the first scene you mentioned...havent caught up with all the old epis.. but tht scene in that office...what was left unsaid.. it was finally complete. I loved the comparison u drew with Gift of Magi... truly they both gifted eachother themselves... beautiful..

Have missed ur posts soo much,specially at the LU😳.

This was brilliant as usual😳 Perfectly put, n straight from the heart😳😛

Loved it😛

So Good to see your topic. Absolutely love reading it. Missed so much your CTD & Pause 🤗 Welcome Back 😃

Love the episode love your post. Cried watching the episode, cried reading your post. So many feels omg.. Brilliant.

I did remembered the office scene while watching Ishra hotel room emotional scene. :)

Precap for me was just heart wrenching. Poor Adi.