Hello all! I am a regular on this forum, though I don't post much. Having seen the precap yesterday, the wheels started turning as sleep evaded me last night...what resulted, was this. I have never written an OS before, but I guess there's a first time for everything. Just a short piece on our beautiful and sometimes idiotic lovebirds.
As I was proofing it this morning, I realized all the dialogues are in Hindi. I guess now would be a good time to admit that maybe I'm not as fluent in Hindi as I would like to believe. Please excuse the mistakes.
I do not plan on continuing this piece. I am not a writer, nor do I claim to be one. There are a plethora of incredibly talented writers on this forum, so I will leave them to it.
Thank you:
To Gan, Doc, Hemanshi, Rajji, & Kiara...
To YHM's incredible writers for giving us these beautiful characters,
as well as DT/KP for breathing them to life.
Enjoy!
Love.
P
PS: I did proofread, but even still, please excuse any spelling or grammatical mistakes.
***
It's not a silly little moment, It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of, This love that we've been working on.
Can't seem to hold you like I want to, So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you, We pulled too many false alarms.
I was the one you always dreamed of, You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me? Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
I'll make the most of all the sadness, You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me, So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.
We're going down, And you can see it too.
My dear, We're slow dancing in a burning room.
***
She was lost inside her head as she finished packing his bag while she recited the monologue of her love that she'd deliver to him as soon as he got home. He was fortunate, for her aloofness gave him a moment to gaze upon her as he entered their bedroom. Clad in simple sari, devoid of make-up, her hair in an unkempt bun - she had never been more beautiful to him as she was in that moment. His eyes hazed over as he imagined closing the distance between them, taking her into his arms and telling her that she was his beginning, his end, and everything in between.
Sensing his heated gaze on her, she looked up towards him, unable to suppress a smile.
"Raman, aap aa gaye?", her words broke him out of his reverie.
He mumbled a quiet "Haan." in return, noting that his voice was a bit thicker than usual - as it had been each time he had spoken to her in the last two days. Leaving her task unfinished, she stood to meet him halfway as he came into their room. There was a delicate smile playing on her lips as she came to stand just inches from him; the subtle blush that crept up on her cheeks could not go unnoticed.
"Raman...accha hua aap aa gaye. Mujhe aapse kuch zaroori baat karni hai." Her words didn't quite register. She was standing so close, the warmth of her love for him practically radiating off of her...and the depth of love he had seen in her eyes during the flash of a moment when he mustered up the courage to meet her gaze had unnerved him, threatening to break his resolve, adding to his guilt.
"Raman...", she tried again, this time with feather-light touch on his shoulder. Her slightest touch warmed him. "Hmm..?", he responded, avoiding her gaze as he tried to focus on her words.
"Kahan koye hue ho? Kab se keh rahi hoon, zaroori baat karni hai.", she repeated.
"Nahi, kuch nahi, woh...pehle packing karle?", he dodged, unable to meet her gaze; knowing that if she said the words he knew she intended, he'd never be able to follow through with what he knew he had to do. "Meri shaving kit pack karna nahi bhooli na tum?", he continued, as he tried to move past her towards the bed where she had been packing his bag.
She was quick to catch his arm, halting him. "Woh main kar loungi Raman.", she sighed. "Main dekh rahi hoon, jab se Singapore jaane ki baat hui hai, aap mujhe avoid kar rahe hai. Par ab nahi...ab...bas do minute, meri baat toh sun lijiye."
He quickly caught a tear at the corner of his eye before turning to face her, forcing a chuckle as he said, "Kitni baar kaha hai itna dimaag mat chalao. Main avoid nahi kar raha...", taking both her hands in his, desperate to reassure her, or himself, as he continues, trying to difuse the sadness of the moment "...jaane se pehle kitne kaam sametne hai, jo mere alawa koi nahi kar sakta." He couldn't stop the next words that escaped his lips as the reality of his leaving her washed over him again. "Aur waise bhi, tum wahan lecture dene nahi hogi na, issi liye abhi se aadat daal raha hoon tumhare lecture na sunne ki."
A soft laughter escapes her lips. "Aur main lecture dena chahti hoon, taki aap aise hi ek do taane aur maar sako." It was his turn to smile as she continued: "Aapke taane sune bagair...." Her voice trailed off as her eyes fill with unshed tears.
His paagal Madrasan...how he would miss her. If only time would stop for them in this moment...if only he could live in this moment for an eternity, with her hand in his, that delicate smile on her lips.
"Raman, mujhe aapse kuch kehna hai." Her words interrupted his thoughts.
"Ishita...", he began, but was cut off by his daughter's sudden presence, announcing Pathak's arrival.
"Ha...haan, chalo...", he responded, motioning to Ruhi as he turned towards the door, only to have his wife hold him back.
"Raman, nahi, please, woh do minute intezaar kar lega...pehle mujhe aapse baat karni hai."
Her tears threatened to spill over, adding to his guilt ten-fold. All he could think in the moment was that he had to make an escape before her sad, desperate state forced him to change his mind...to stay here with her, never letting go. He mustered every ounce of courage within him as he spoke his next words...
"Ishita, woh...legal advisor hai. Important hai. Jaana padega." He managed, in a broken, husky tone, still unable to meet her eyes, afraid that if he did, she'd find him out.
His words were her undoing as her tears finally spilled, sending daggers through his heart. Desperate to hold on to the moment for just a bit longer, he finally did what he'd wanted to do on multiple occasions over the past few weeks...slowly, tenderly, he tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear. Lost in the moment, he moved to wipe the tears that continued to streak down her beautiful face before catching himself short.
'You gave her those tears...and will give her many more in the hours to come as you walk out of her life.', his inner voice chided.
As always, even now, he'd been the reason for her tears. No matter how much he wanted to wipe every tear from eyes, it wouldn't be fair to her...for in the coming hours, he'd give her hundreds more to replace the ones he wiped away. He hung his head low and retracted his hand at the thought.
With one final gaze upon her downcast eyes and tear-stained cheeks, he exhaled a deep breath he didn't know he was holding, turned on his heel, and walked away from the woman he loved...the woman he perhaps, didn't deserve.
***
Tujhko shayad nahi hai khabar
Tujhko jeete hai hum kis kadar
Tu haathon mein toh hai mere
Hai kyoun nahi lakeeron mein
*
[Edited to add the lyrics to John Mayer's Slow Dancin' in a Burning Room...Thanks, Rajji!]
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Mangal Lakshmi
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