Undisclosed Desires|| An IshRa FF || Part 10 Page 58 03-July-20 - Page 42

Hello Peeps!!

Is it really 5 years since my last post? But seems like just yesterday I was writing it. Joking. It was really mind blogging, I mean to start with the story that you have not touched for like five years! That's something.

I am so sorry to everyone who suffered being a reader of this story. I don't have enough words to apologize and to thank-you for writing to me continuously for updating this story, I felt so guilty for abandoning it, but this time I have decided to finish it once and for all.

It was difficult to really reel back all the thoughts that might be present when I was first writing it, guys, it will come around as the next parts will follow. Please bear with me and forgive me.

I also want to thank Channel Moderator: BilliCat. for her help in unlocking this post.

Thank-you all and now without further ado here is the next part.

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Part 10

He had seen things getting worse and better while he was with his brother, friend and guide through all the successes and failures all these years. And it won’t be wrong if he selfishly wanted happiness for him, if he would oversee anyone’s happiness for him.

Not ever had he seen him so engrossed in life, or smiling like he was at the moment and he was most definitely happy for him, would be a major understatement, for it was something that just went over for him, a compassion, a care, a feel of family that he felt while he was with him and his family.

He had seen him breaking when Simran’s case had happened, no one knew what to do but then he stood up despite of all the hurt, he was the one who stood like a pillar for whole family. He had done so much for him, being his far away cousin he had little to even hope for, however what all Raman did for him was much more than what his family would have done.He was more than any person in his life, and then there was Mihika, only one person who was as close to him as Raman.

If Raman was his Backbone then she was his internal strength, though she would always complain of him being his brother’s chamcha, but he knew better. He knew that Mihika too respected Raman,though she would never show but she did and he was grateful for that.

Mihir had his reasons when it came to Raman, about anything and everything. Raman was his family, his confidante and his sole advisor, even in his private affairs. He hid nothing from him.Though this fact had, many times irked Mihika but it was like this only between Raman and him. And at present when he was seeing a small ray of hope in the form of Ishita, he just didn’t wanted anything to ruin it.

He was well aware of Subbu, and had noticed the way he would look at Ishita. ‘He is married, isn’t he?’, he had often wondered. He wanted to know the reason behind their breakup but when ever he wanted to bring this information related topic up, he had always felt Mihika to go stiff. It had often made him curious. It wasn’t that he had any condition to like Ishita, but what if what his girlfriend was hiding might end up hurting Raman, he would think.

He didn’t wanted to take any chance.

**

On other hand, IShita couldn’t believe the information that she had got few moments ago was actually true. Her ideal was her batch mate! He was in same class as she and had attended the lectures at the same time!

Smile was not leaving her face, she was so excited to share this piece of information. And then suddenly, her smile vanished and a small frown marred her beautiful face. “How could she have missed him? Was she really that dumb! Though, she realized that he was not at all like what he is now, but then he was the same person. Did she ignored him because he was not like what he is now? Or was it that she was so much engrossed in Subbu at the time that she failed to notice him. What a waste!, she sighed

Only if she could go back in time.She would rather be with Raman the quite boy than to be with a jerk like Subbu. And then she shook her head and said to self, ‘but would this had made her a complete woman. Her incompleteness was still with her. No matter if it was Subbu or Raman, everybody wants to have their very own family at some point of time,something that she was incapable to provide.’ Subbu was not completely wrong. Who was she kidding?

She really had to live a lonely life. Raman was a gentleman, and she was sure that he won’t judge her on the basis of her biological condition, but to build up castle on this basis would be a complete folly. And beside this, she just couldn’t do this to him. He was an amazing human being and she cannot be that selfish, she loved him and she could feel him having some feelings for her as well but she just cannot really let anything further happen. It has to end,right here, it was only right. She can’t go on like this and continue to confuse Raman.

Raman, the man has recently been her savior and an amazing friend. Even though she knew very less about him but she could feel emptiness in his life. And she cannot further add to his misery. As it would make her more miserable than it would do to him. Only if she didn’t needed this job, she would have resigned and gone far away from this place, before things could progress. But she was in dire need of this job.

She was fidgeting her dupatta, since she came out of his cabin, lost in thought. Her heart and mind were in conflict. Her heart was dancing in joy, his proximity, his glance towards her, his smile, everything was driving her to an edge. She had never before felt such deep feelings with so much of vigor towards anyone. And the funny part was that when she did feel, it was time to back off.

She wanted to accept him with everything, she knew that she would never be able to say ‘no’, if miraculously he asks her to be with him. She didn’t had that power or authority or guts to say NO to a man like him. Who can say a NO to him? He had no vice, on what basis could she say NO to him?

And then her mind would laugh at her, like mocking her to think so highly of herself and to think even for miniscule that a man like him would even consider her in a romantic fashion. Well the mere thought crumbled all her hopes, shattered all the dreams and dampen her spirit.

What if he never thought of her in that way? What if she was just imagining things and reading too much into his actions and friendliness. It might be, and she felt sure of it, that she might not be affecting him as much as he was affecting her.

While in all these thoughts she for a moment didn’t notice the eye sore was standing in front of her. And then she mindlessly looked up to find him smirking. ‘Subbu?’ she could only exclaim.

**

He felt defeated, how can this happen in front of him? He had always been of jealous kind, when Ishita was concerned. He had been after her since he first met her on birthday of Vandu who was his elder brothers’ GF. He just couldn’t take his eyes of her. She was so innocence and it had just fixated her mind and heart on her. He had approached her with flirt and casual walks and ice cream dates. No one had any issue for her was Bala’s brother.

And then, he had progressed and asked her to be his GF. Though she had not immediately agreed, but little pestering from Vandu and her going. However she had never allowed him to touch her in intimate manner. He tried her to be bit comfortable with him, but she had never agreed. It went as far as hand-holding. But he never complained because he knew that one day he would marry her and then everything is just going to change. They will be more intimate than she was with herself.

However when they got to know about her condition, his family except Bala had opposed the relation. He too was in agreement with his family. And her thought that he would never regret it, but now seeing her with the man who was his ideal, it had just torn apart the image he had built in front of everyone, like he never cared.

He had said repulsive things to her in past and he did regret saying all that, but somewhere he had put entire blame on her of her condition. He didn’t know what else to do, he was tired to fight with his family. Whom he could go and tell that he had committed a great mistake by marrying someone else. He was frustrated as now, the love of his life was getting close to someone else. He knew somewhere that she had gone through lot, and that he was wrong and she should get fair chance to be happy.But how could he see her happy with someone else? What about his dreams, his want, his love. He knew that he was being selfish, but he also knew that he won’t be able to live if he sees her with someone else.

No matter how much he detests her,and blames her for their broken relation, but he just can’t see her with anyone else. If she couldn’t be with him, then she would be with none.

**

Sometimes we think world as a strange place, no matter how much one tries to make it normal, but the twists and turns it takes, makes one wonder, if its variedness is normal.

For Raman definitely it was a strange place. From beginning he has lost so many times that he had begun to wonder if his life would end up losing everything till the very end. But now when a small hope was beginning to flicker, he was not sure to rejoice it yet or to wait.

Ishita was a very important part of his life, even when she was not yet,it was always she who kept him going even with various hardships thrown his way. It was always her, who had been his aim, even when she was an unreachable one then. But then people do keep impossible goals so that they can work harder. And now miraculously his most cherished dream was showing some ray of hope to realize itself into reality,and he didn’t wanted to take any chances.

It’s not like he never had any girl who wanted him, nor was it that he felt always disgusted with them. In fact there had been few genuine ones, for whom he was almost tempted to start anew,under the pressure of his family. But at the last moment he just couldn’t go further with it. He couldn’t do this to them, their feelings. After all it was not just the mere matter of Yes or No but so much more, their whole lives.

But now seeing Ishita so close, he just hoped to bring her into his life, for he could feel that she too was interested in him, by the way they had interacted he just hoped he was right.

He smiled and thought, I would cease this opportunity before it slips from my hand. Thinking so he took his intercom and called Mihir. After talking for a few seconds, he disconnected and smiled satisfactorily,when there was knock on his cabin door. He permitted the person to enter and looked up to see Subbu infront of him. His happiness stilled for a moment and then he diverted his eyes towards a file in his hands and asked the person the reason to come.

Subbu, stared at him for a moment and started, “Sir, I wanted to talk to you about something very important.”

“Yes what is it Mr. Subramaniam?”,but before Subbu could start, Raman continued, “Actually I also have to discuss with you about something very important. You will be visiting our Mumbai branch for a time period of 2 weeks and look into the accounts there. They are having some problems in accounts department, I want you to go on my behalf and look into the matter personally.”

Subbu was surprised, too surprised to say anything. He just nodded.

“Ok then Mr. Subramaniam, I would prefer you to leave for home for preparation, someone from company will bring you tickets at your home. You will be leaving early morning tomorrow. I hope that it’s not a problem?”

“Not at all sir. I am happy that you entrusted me with such an important work. I will then take your leave.” Subbu said and turned to leave when Raman called, “Subbu, you were here to talk about something?”

“Uh.. huh… no sir, nothing important.” Saying that he turned and left Raman’s cabin, and thought, this piece of information can wait until I gain boss’s trust.

**

During lunch, Ishita received a call from Mihika.

“Hello! Mihika?”

“Akka.. today we have to go for dinner with Bhalla's”

“what.. Dinner? today? his house!!

“Haan akka.. actually you know na that Bhalla's are his only family… toh they wanted to invite us,as a family”

“but Mihika… how can I… I mean…”

“oh come on akka! Wahan Ruhi se bhi mill lena… and you can spend time with Raman also ” Mihika said the last part teasingly.

“Mihika! Aisa kuch nahi hai.. theek hai lets go”

“ye hui na baat.. challo I’ll hangup now.. bye.. come soon”

And with that Ishita hanged up, with a smile. She was really looking to spend some quality time with Ruhi…. and Raman she added hesitantly with a shy smile.

She was not sure if it was mutual,her feelings, or was she wanting too much. It wasn’t like she really was wanting Raman to reciprocate her feelings, but it was only that she wanted to spend time with him, he wanted to be in his company, office or home, it didn’t matter. She wanted to know about him, she was yearning to talk to him again. It was all so astonishing, as before she had never felt anything like that, she had loved before, or so she thought, but never this urge, this yearning she felt for him that she was feeling for Raman.

Everything was so different when it came to Raman. It was as if she just was waiting her whole life for this enigmatic, mysterious man. Things that his presence induced in her were making her both guilty and anxious in a very obnoxious way. She was feeling the butterflies in her stomach from the thought itself that she will be visiting his house that evening. She didn’t know how she should be acting, after that encounter with him in his cabin that afternoon.

With that thought and a smile plastered to her face, she dipped in her work.

**

That evening.

It was already six thirty, when she reached home. Her family was almost ready and they were waiting for her.Bhalla’s had invited everyone, her Appa, Amma, Mihika, Vandu, Bala (Vandu’s fiancé) and Ishita (inevitably). It was really weird somewhere she felt for an employee to visit her boss, but then, her sister was in relationship with his brother Mihir and how can she forget that he was in same college as her, may be it won't be that awkward and perhaps she was thinking too much, like always.

Mihika stuffed a beautiful saari in her hand said, “ Here akka, wear this.”

“saari?”, IShita saw the beautiful saari and said, “don’t you think it would be too much? A simple suit will do.”

“No Akka, It’s the first time my family is going to meet his family, I think Saari is perfect for the occasion.”

“hmm” and with that she turned and went her in her room to get ready.

When Ishita came out, all were already ready to leave, however when IShita emerged, Amma just couldn’t control her happiness after seeing Ishita smile after so long and said, “Ishu, Nī aḻakākairukkiṟāy” (Ishu, you look beautiful), wiping her tears, while Vandu and Mihika hugged amma and said, “really Ishu.. Romba beautiful!!”

While Ishita just blushed and looked at amma and her sisters lovingly, while her appa wiped his tears of happiness.

“Chalo chalo… we should leave now,it’s already 7:30.” Said Bala and started to pick up bouquet and sweets that they had purchased for Bhalla’s.

They reached Bhalla residence in about ½ hr. Bhalla family, Mr. Bhalla, Mrs Bhalla, Romi, Mihir were outside to receive the guests. Iyer’s were received warmly, and made to settle.

Bhalla residence was grand, it was tastefully furnished, off white walls were adorned with beautiful paintings, the place oozed of warmth. All in all it was a place where Ishita felt comfortable to be in, with warm and welcoming people.

While the Iyer’s settled in the living room and pleasantries were shared, Ishita was feeling restless because of Raman’s absence. She was looking here and there when Mihir whispered from behind in a teasing way, “looking for someone?”

“N..No. I was just… “ and then she trailed, as she saw Raman coming from upstairs, and instead turned towards Mrs.Bhalla and said, “Your house is beautiful!” To which Mrs. Bhalla smiled and came towards her and asked, “Tum hi Ishita ho na?”

“Ji” IShita looked at Mrs. Bhalla little surprised, as it seemed she knew her.

“Woh Ruhi talks about you alot.. she is quite fond of you.” said Mrs. Bhalla as if answering her unasked question.

“Oh.. Ruhi is such a sweet baby…”IShita said fondly.

“haan.. bohot pyaari hai meri bachhi” Mrs. Bhalla said and continued, “.. kabhi kuch nahi kehti hai” her voice was a bit sad.

Mrs. Iyer piped in and asked, “Ruhi ki mother kahan hai?”

“Ji.. woh ab humare beech nahi hai..” Mrs. Bhalla said sadly.

“why don’t you get Raman married”,Asked Mrs. Iyer.

“Amma!” exclaimed Ishita at such an obnoxious question.

But Mrs. Bhalla didn’t mind and continued, “Arre Behenji… I have tried, so many times. So many families are interested, but Raman never listens to me. I don’t understand what he wants.

And the topic was closed. However,Ishita couldn’t help but wonder why he never married. Did he like someone? Even the thought pinched her hard. May be he never liked all those girls, her heart stilled, then why would he even like her? Was he gay? She shook her head vigorously at such an unpleasant thought, what a waste it would be.

“Ishita! Are you alright?”

Ishita looked at him, he was beautiful. He was standing just few feet away from them, he was wearing a white kurta and paijama. His skin tone was complimenting with the colour of his clothes. He had a baffled look on his face, a crease marring his forehead, a she looked puzzled towards her.

IShita dipped her face, can she look more stupid. And then said in a small voice, “I am fine”

“Sure?” Raman asked again.

By then everyone was looking towards him and eyeing Ishita. While Ishita just looked at him for a miniscule and nodded in affirmation.

Meanwhile everyone got engaged with each other, talking about everything and nothing. In between nonsensical chatter, Raman came and stood beside Ishita, making her go stiff and whispered,“You look beautiful in saari”.

While Ishita blushed, and whispered a Thanks. After that however, IShita could feel Raman’s gaze on her, she could feel butterflies in her stomach. Her heat-beatsrose and her cheeks flushed. It was then, Mrs. Bhalla asked, “ Ishita, you work with Happy in his office?”

“Ji aunty, I am his secretary. “IShita answered with a smile.

Mrs. Bhalla smiled and said, “Ishita puttar, you work with him, you are his secretary then you must be knowing about him a lot, right?”

“Ji…?” Ishita was skeptic.

“Beta, do you think he likes someone?... I mean is there anyone in his office whom you think he might like?”she inquired.

“Happy..? …Aunty… uh.. I don’t know”she answered in a small voice.

“Kya Mummy! Bhai is a saint. Do you still have doubt about it? He doesn’t look at any girl.” Romi piped in,smiling. While Mihir muttered, “Except for IShita”, but one look from Raman shut him up.

“Mummy, why you have to bring that up every time?” Raman said in a stern voice.

“Theek hai puttar what ever you say.”And then she shut up and asked everyone to join her in for dinner.

The dinner was silent affair, all they ever talked about were Mihika and Mihir. Few teasings and few jokes. Oblivious to all this, Ishita was quite emerged in her own thoughts. She didn’t know what to do? She was feeling a bit awkward and the she turned and saw Raman staring at her, she looked down immediately quite flustered. And the felt him nearing her. She went stiff with anticipation and when he was quite close to her, he said softly, “come out,I am waiting” and with that he turned and disappeared outside.

It was quite a simple sentence, but for Ishita it was something than just a statement. It gave her an unusual feeling that she had never felt before. It was a feeling that one feels when they are in their first love. A feeling so new, so virgin that one feels like they have got the entire world at their feet. She was not able to understand her own heart, it was betraying her. Just that evening she had decided to shun these feelings and now she was going towards them herself. But in reality she had no power over her heart, she realised.

Raman was like a blackhole, he was consuming her, and she felt helpless. She knew she was attracted towards him,more than she had ever been, however she didn’t know it was right or wrong. All the sensibilities were lost, and all she could do, perhaps wanted to do most was to follow him and that she did with anticipating heart.

As she came out side she saw him standing in the garden, in his white kurta, he looked peaceful. He was looking towards the flowers and had a smile on his lips, his clean shaven look was making him look younger and handsome. She stood silently beside him but didn’t say anything. It was too hard to think anything, she didn’t know how to voice her feelings and turmoil. She had a baggage, and she just can’t let on without him knowing the whole truth about her, and then she would just think may be Raman didn’t really think about her like that, however his actions were confirming her doubts.

“Sir”, she called.

Raman turned towards her with a small smile adoring his lips and dimple gracing his cheeks and said, “Ishita,it’s my house and you are my guest. Please don’t address me as Sir, you can take my name.”

“but..” she couldn’t complete when Raman cut her and continued, “you do remember that we went to same college, we were in same batch.”

After a small pause she asked, “you called me?”

To which he smiled, and understood her repercussion but ignoring it continued, “Yes. I felt you were getting bored.” And the trying to read her expressions he continued, “I hope you are not feeling uncomfortable here?”

Ishita looked up and said almost immediately, “You company never makes me uncomfortable.” And then blushed as she realized what she said, and to subdue the damage she added, “You are one of the most decent men I know.”

“Ishita, actually I called you here because, I wanted to tell you that I don’t have any friends, actually never had. And today when I do need help, I don’t have anyone whom I could turn upto. You do understand what I am trying to say?”

To Which Ishita looked puzzled but nodded, asking to continue.

“Actually, my mom-dad’s anniversary is round the corner and I wanted to plan something, like a surprise. I could have turned to Mihir but he will be going to Singapore for a week for one of our project and will be back only a day before the date. So I was thinking if you could help me regarding the same… as a friend?”

At this revelation, Ishita smiled her brightest and nodded in affirmation.

Raman was elated and held her both hands in his and said “Thank-you Ishita” with a biggest smile she had ever seen. And then Ishita headed inside, while Raman could just stand there staring at her retreating back and promised to self, ‘I will give them a surprise of lifetime,when I will propose you for marriage on their anniversary. That will be my gift for them.”

And then headed back, behind her.

***

Ok so that's it.

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Pls update the next part! Pls have ishita saying yes to his proposal!!