"And in the morning
they shook their pillows
violently, hoping
all the dreams they lost
that night would tumble out."
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Chapter 8
When she lifted her eyes to meet his, he skipped a heartbeat. Before he could form a coherent apology or an explanation, his phone rang and he was almost glad for this interruption because he didn't know how else to maneuver the situation. It was mihir.
"How is she?" The first thing he asked.
"Married." He left for work while still in call.
She stood there as he made his way out. She held the rim of the washbasin as she let the tears make their way down her cheeks, she cried for his indifference and for letting him hurt her.
She was going to get wake her daughter when she saw Romi sprawled on the floor over the rug and her sister getting ready for the day. That glimpse reminded her of another marriage of compromise. She couldn't let her sister go through the heartbreak which she had. But then, that was hardly any choice at all, either a laughing stock or a heartbreak. It was then when she was caught looking through the creak of the door by mihika, who after a glance at her still sleeping husband, motioned her sister to come to balcony.
"How are you doing?" She asked with concern, not for her physical but mental state.
"Trying to get accustomed to the new facts of life." She tried to smile at her own reply.
"He called Raman today."
"I don't want to talk about him. Not now, not ever." She left then to greet her new mother-in-law who had woken up by now.
"Did you sleep well?" Her mother in law inquired who seemed to be blushing more than the bride.
"Yes, thank you."
"Where is my son? You have my sympathies beta, he can be a bit of a pain in the neck at times." And she laughed at her own jokes.
"I'll get him." She made her way to her new room to wake the person in question.
When she entered her room, she closed the door and sat on the chair looking at her husband as the flashes of last night came back to her. She had become uncertain all of a sudden as soon as she made her vows, she recalled now. The decision she took last night with the help of one person, who seemed oblivious to the entire world now, was a turning point of her life. The one she could have never anticipated in her wildest dreams. He had saved the day, saved her and her family from all the scorns and humiliation of being jilted at the last minute.
"I'll sleep on the floor." He had said as soon as the door had closed and they were alone. She had made her way to the same chair she was sitting in now and let those tears fall once again. He looked around his room and remarked "I know its a mess but don't cry, you can change the setup if those rock bands bother you too much on the walls."
"Is this some kind of a joke to you? Do you realize what has happened?" She spoke in anger, the anger she had been suppressing until now. The anger she felt for being dejected, for being a fool all the while.
"It's not easy for me too but I'm trying here at least. Like you, i didn't expect it either." When he came close to the chair , he noticed her flinch and he said in a low but stern voice "my intentions are pure mihika. Except for that one mistake I have never wanted to hurt you, intentionally at least." And made his way to the closet through the passage where her chair was kept, to get his clothes.
"You can change here and let me know when you are done." He spoke when he made his way to the bathroom.
She hadnt realized until now how harsh she had sounded last night, she sat on the floor then and tapped him on the shoulder. "Nilu, I don't want my tea now." He turned to the other side in sleep.
She raised an eye brow then and tried again, this time more rigorously. He sat up straight as reality sunk in. "I...I'm awake now, I'll be out shortly."
"I'll get your tea ready."she said before she left the room. She only hoped there would a better time to apologize for her insolence.
He was standing by the window in his room, looking out trying to figure out a way to clear the mess. He missed her. It had been three days since the wedding and she made the most of the opportunity of the hustle bustle of impromptu event to avoid sleeping in the same room. The first night she slept with ruhi, the next she spent the night at her parent's to look after the departure of the guests but today he thought he couldn't bear it any more.
She chose that very moment to serve him snacks. When she made her way to the door after keeping the tray on the coffee table, she heard him ask "are you done, ishita?" Still looking out of the window, with hands in his pockets.
She stopped short and turned around to face him, the bewilderment lurking in her eyes. He also turned to do the same as he continued speaking "punishing me, that is."
"I'm not doing any such thing." She looked every where but him.
"Then why are you giving me silent treatment?"
She gulped then and looked down. It wasn't easy for her either but she couldn't bring herself to be treated like a stranger in her own marriage by her own husband. She finally managed to voice her question, "And it never occurred to you that I have a right to know?"
"I made a promised to him."
"And what about me? I had expectations too."
He stood there silently.
"We are back to square one, aren't we?" She shook her heard, trying to comprehend his point of view but failed. "Its her. Always her.."
"Ishita-"
"She still has the ability to steer our relationship."
"Please, don't do this."
"How would I know you wouldn't spring out any more hidden secrets? That you wouldn't lie to me again?"
"I didn't lie to you. Okay? I didn't!"
"Half truth is just as much, Raman." She said as she made her way to sit on the couch, she couldn't find the strength in her to stand anymore. To stand tall. "Its the wife in me that's hurt Raman."
He sat on his knees then next to her on the floor, held her hands on his because he couldn't see the defeat on her face anymore. He couldn't let her believe that what they had between them can be ruined by a mere lousy fact, that too regarding a woman who had already caused him his happiness once. He couldn't let her take away from him his family, his love. His life. Again.
"Forgive me. Please. I'm sorry." He apologized with all his heart.
Edited by aaminah123 - 11 years ago
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