Posted:
Hello all,
I am back with my ramblings. I had a thought earlier today about how Ruhi may be getting affected with what is happening around in their home. I wasn't sure if I could write anything, but the precap sort of forced me to.
Now, since these are Ruhi's thoughts, they will sound 'young', so please do read them as such. Its been a really long time since I was a child , so I had to remind myself to lose any judgement, and add only perception. I hope I did this piece justice.
The song to go with this one is "Do Naina aur Ek Kahaani" from Masoom
***
I wake up in the middle of the night, hearing noises that don't seem normal. I am scared, and I call out my mother's name. She comes to me, shushing me back to sleep. "Its only thunder and rain my child" she says, and sings me a song to soothe my worried mind. I fall asleep soon after that and I think I ask her before my eyes close "If its only thunder mama, why are you drenched so?" My mother doesn't have an answer for that. I dont know if she's crying. Her face is full of water drops. She doesn't look very happy though. I don't tell her that I saw her supporting my father and walking up the stairs. The last time they hugged in rain, he even said he loved her. This time, I am not so sure there's any love. He asked her to leave him alone. But I won't worry about it. Like she said, it was only thunder. Things always seemed to work out between them.
I wake up a bit late in the morning. The sun seems to have hidden behind the clouds. That's the excuse Romi chachu asked me to give Ishima on the days I wake up late. He says it always works for him. His bedroom has no windows, I wonder who ever bought his story? She didn't come in to wake me up. I saw papa lying down on the floor in the living room when I brushed my teeth and went out. I started giggling "Ishima, papa kya sone ka drama kar rahe hain?" She put her finger on her lips to tell me not to shout. "He's sleeping" she said."But Ishima, his back won't hurt???" I saw her look down. She never looked down when I asked her a question. She never avoided my questions. Maybe their fight last night was something big. Maybe it will take them some time to make up. I then did what I was told by daadi. I go to school with Mihika chitti.
School is fun. In the last few days, school has been more fun than home. Its all because of Shravu I think. He is so excited that he is going to get a baby sister.
"Shravu, how do you know its going to be a sister and not a brother" I ask him slowly. If he gets a sister, he wouldn't want to play with me. He will surely be a better big brother than Adi bhaiyya. Some times Adi bhaiyya doesn't even look at me when he walks past me in school.
"Silly, thats because I asked God for a sister" Shravu says with a smart face.
"Why not a brother Shravu?" I ask and he tells me I am dumb and explains,
"If its a sister she won't take my toys na ? she will have her own dolls to play with. I dont have to share" Shravu does make sense some times.
That does mean that I would have to share my dolls with Ananya soon. I should ask Papa to buy Ananya her own dolls. If I ask Ishima, she'll ask me to be a good girl and share. No, that won't do.
But maybe I should share with Ananya. Her father doesn't stay with her, poor girl. I wonder why? Does Param uncle live with some one else now, like Shagun mamma? Why does he not ask Simmi bua to go with him? He's always been such a nice uncle to me. I tried asking him that day, when I met him outside the beauty parlour, but didn't give me a straight answer. Neither did Ishima. Does Ishima not like him any more? Even Romi chachu was telling daadiji something about Param uncle. They always stop talking when I walk into the room. That seems to be going on a lot lately.
Things do seem different a lot lately. I ask Paati when I go over to her house after coming from school. Mutthu is no where to be seen, and Mihika chitti isn't home yet. Paati is alone in the kitchen stirring something but not looking at it. My voice startles her. "Paati, why are you sad? Is your head still aching from the accident? Shall I help you in the kitchen?" I ask her. I don't like to see anyone quiet. I think, I have never seen these people quiet. They always fight, scream at
each other, but they are never quiet. He shakes her head vigorously, and waves her hands around her face, as if she is trying to shoo of flies. If she hadn't put her saree pallu on her eyes, I would have never known she had tears. "Chammathu Kutti Ruhi . School se aa gayi tum? Shall I make vadas today or payasam for you? what do you want?" she asks as if she didn't hear my earlier questions. "Why is everyone sad Paati?" I ask again. "Nothing chellam, everyone is busy that's all"
When I go home for my homework, Ishima seems as distracted as Paati. She hands me over to Romi chachu. She never does that, she doesn't ever let Romi chachu come near my books. I don't know why, studying with Romi chachu seems fun. He seems as lost as I am with maths. He even asked me the other day about Miss Sheila Kejwani. He also seemed to want to learn maths from her. But she's a kids teacher no? Thankfully today, I don't have maths homework.
I am hungry after studying for 2 hours. I go to Ishima and ask for biscuits. "Eat your dinner Ruhi, its ready" she says. "But Ishima, I wanted to wait for papa" I made a face. I don't get a lot of time to spend with him these days.
I did go on a picnic with him, but that wasn't any fun at all. Shagun mamma was always there, she didn't let me talk to papa at all. Ishima never does this, she always lets me play alone with him. But when Ishima is there, I try to make her stay with me and papa. I like it when they fuss over me, and I like it more when they disagree about something. At least one of them is always on my side, so I don't complain. And papa never seems to stop smiling, even when he loses an argument with Ishima. And the way Ishima makes an angry face is very cute. She doesn't really look angry, but sweet. But if I tell her, she'll never take my side again. Coming back to the picnic, I surely did not want Shagun mamma and papa together. Shagun mamma didn't know, but I heard her and Adi bhaiyya talking. They said they were happy they could avoid Ishima coming with us. But I thought Ishima was busy, thats why she couldn't come? Is that what her fight with papa about? Are they still fighting from the time she came to the resort and took me back home? I had never seen them scream like that. Not in a long time.
"No Ruhi beta, papa will be late today. So you eat now" she says. When I am just about to sleep in my room, she comes in and talks to me. She asks me if I can stay up late for papa. I don't understand why, she didn't seem ill. She says she is tired, and tells me to heat food for him, and make sure he eats every morsel on his plate. She asks me to feed him, if I have to. Like she does with me. She asks me not to give him dahi, because he catches a cold very soon. I don't understand why she wants me to do all this. I don't feel good about this. ANd she also tells me that she is going to sleep in my room. I don't like what is happening. I start crying. Thats when she tells me she and papa are having a disagreement, it would all be OK soon. She doesn't tell me anything else. She just says it will all be OK. And she tells me that its important he eats and sleeps correctly, because tomorrow is important for them. I asked her if they had any exams, and she laughed. "Maybe" she said. I didn't ask her any more.
He looks sadder than everyone else. I dont even remember the last time he looked like this. I do everything exactly as Ishima asked me to. He didn't look like he was hungry, but I made him eat anyway. I ask him if he's done anything wrong, and he chokes on his food. It happens to me too, when I try to talk when eating. I did what Ishima does for me, and gave him some water. I shouldn't talk to him. Maybe I should sleep in their room tonight. He wouldn't be able to sleep alone. He must be used to Ishima or me on the bed always. I bid Ishima good night, and went to him. He wasnt able to sleep either. So I told him a story. Usually Ishima or papa read me stories, but nowadays, I think I can do it myself. And who else would help papa if not me? I don't know when I fall asleep.
Its morning again, and I see them ready to go somewhere. Simmi bua is going to take me to school. So I wish them best of luck, for their exam or whatever important work they have.
I meet Shravu in school and tell him every thing. I tell him everything everyday. I ask him if his parents fight. He says they do, but they always make up. He says his parents also looked sad and worried in the last few days, but all was fine now. Maybe that's how it is with everyone's parents. That makes me happy. Ishima and Papa will also make up soon.
As I turn to walk to class, I see him. He comes to me with an angry face, and shouts at me "You know what your Ishima has done now?". I don't react first. I don't know how to. Adi bhaiyya has never spoken to me at school before.
I have 2 quotes this time, to make up for the brevity of my post :)
The first one is for Raman's scene with Ruhi today, and the second one is for my story above.
"A first child is your own best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out. You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world. But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after--oh, that' s love by a different name." - Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible
"Children are not a zoo of entertainingly exotic creatures, but an array of mirrors in which the human predicament leaps out at us." - John Updike
*** So, how was it???
I know they weren't ramblings, I had dialogues from others in there. But I couldn't call it an OS either, because there wasn't anything really happening.
I am back with my ramblings. I had a thought earlier today about how Ruhi may be getting affected with what is happening around in their home. I wasn't sure if I could write anything, but the precap sort of forced me to.
Now, since these are Ruhi's thoughts, they will sound 'young', so please do read them as such. Its been a really long time since I was a child , so I had to remind myself to lose any judgement, and add only perception. I hope I did this piece justice.
The song to go with this one is "Do Naina aur Ek Kahaani" from Masoom
***
I wake up in the middle of the night, hearing noises that don't seem normal. I am scared, and I call out my mother's name. She comes to me, shushing me back to sleep. "Its only thunder and rain my child" she says, and sings me a song to soothe my worried mind. I fall asleep soon after that and I think I ask her before my eyes close "If its only thunder mama, why are you drenched so?" My mother doesn't have an answer for that. I dont know if she's crying. Her face is full of water drops. She doesn't look very happy though. I don't tell her that I saw her supporting my father and walking up the stairs. The last time they hugged in rain, he even said he loved her. This time, I am not so sure there's any love. He asked her to leave him alone. But I won't worry about it. Like she said, it was only thunder. Things always seemed to work out between them.
I wake up a bit late in the morning. The sun seems to have hidden behind the clouds. That's the excuse Romi chachu asked me to give Ishima on the days I wake up late. He says it always works for him. His bedroom has no windows, I wonder who ever bought his story? She didn't come in to wake me up. I saw papa lying down on the floor in the living room when I brushed my teeth and went out. I started giggling "Ishima, papa kya sone ka drama kar rahe hain?" She put her finger on her lips to tell me not to shout. "He's sleeping" she said."But Ishima, his back won't hurt???" I saw her look down. She never looked down when I asked her a question. She never avoided my questions. Maybe their fight last night was something big. Maybe it will take them some time to make up. I then did what I was told by daadi. I go to school with Mihika chitti.
School is fun. In the last few days, school has been more fun than home. Its all because of Shravu I think. He is so excited that he is going to get a baby sister.
"Shravu, how do you know its going to be a sister and not a brother" I ask him slowly. If he gets a sister, he wouldn't want to play with me. He will surely be a better big brother than Adi bhaiyya. Some times Adi bhaiyya doesn't even look at me when he walks past me in school.
"Silly, thats because I asked God for a sister" Shravu says with a smart face.
"Why not a brother Shravu?" I ask and he tells me I am dumb and explains,
"If its a sister she won't take my toys na ? she will have her own dolls to play with. I dont have to share" Shravu does make sense some times.
That does mean that I would have to share my dolls with Ananya soon. I should ask Papa to buy Ananya her own dolls. If I ask Ishima, she'll ask me to be a good girl and share. No, that won't do.
But maybe I should share with Ananya. Her father doesn't stay with her, poor girl. I wonder why? Does Param uncle live with some one else now, like Shagun mamma? Why does he not ask Simmi bua to go with him? He's always been such a nice uncle to me. I tried asking him that day, when I met him outside the beauty parlour, but didn't give me a straight answer. Neither did Ishima. Does Ishima not like him any more? Even Romi chachu was telling daadiji something about Param uncle. They always stop talking when I walk into the room. That seems to be going on a lot lately.
Things do seem different a lot lately. I ask Paati when I go over to her house after coming from school. Mutthu is no where to be seen, and Mihika chitti isn't home yet. Paati is alone in the kitchen stirring something but not looking at it. My voice startles her. "Paati, why are you sad? Is your head still aching from the accident? Shall I help you in the kitchen?" I ask her. I don't like to see anyone quiet. I think, I have never seen these people quiet. They always fight, scream at
each other, but they are never quiet. He shakes her head vigorously, and waves her hands around her face, as if she is trying to shoo of flies. If she hadn't put her saree pallu on her eyes, I would have never known she had tears. "Chammathu Kutti Ruhi . School se aa gayi tum? Shall I make vadas today or payasam for you? what do you want?" she asks as if she didn't hear my earlier questions. "Why is everyone sad Paati?" I ask again. "Nothing chellam, everyone is busy that's all"
When I go home for my homework, Ishima seems as distracted as Paati. She hands me over to Romi chachu. She never does that, she doesn't ever let Romi chachu come near my books. I don't know why, studying with Romi chachu seems fun. He seems as lost as I am with maths. He even asked me the other day about Miss Sheila Kejwani. He also seemed to want to learn maths from her. But she's a kids teacher no? Thankfully today, I don't have maths homework.
I am hungry after studying for 2 hours. I go to Ishima and ask for biscuits. "Eat your dinner Ruhi, its ready" she says. "But Ishima, I wanted to wait for papa" I made a face. I don't get a lot of time to spend with him these days.
I did go on a picnic with him, but that wasn't any fun at all. Shagun mamma was always there, she didn't let me talk to papa at all. Ishima never does this, she always lets me play alone with him. But when Ishima is there, I try to make her stay with me and papa. I like it when they fuss over me, and I like it more when they disagree about something. At least one of them is always on my side, so I don't complain. And papa never seems to stop smiling, even when he loses an argument with Ishima. And the way Ishima makes an angry face is very cute. She doesn't really look angry, but sweet. But if I tell her, she'll never take my side again. Coming back to the picnic, I surely did not want Shagun mamma and papa together. Shagun mamma didn't know, but I heard her and Adi bhaiyya talking. They said they were happy they could avoid Ishima coming with us. But I thought Ishima was busy, thats why she couldn't come? Is that what her fight with papa about? Are they still fighting from the time she came to the resort and took me back home? I had never seen them scream like that. Not in a long time.
"No Ruhi beta, papa will be late today. So you eat now" she says. When I am just about to sleep in my room, she comes in and talks to me. She asks me if I can stay up late for papa. I don't understand why, she didn't seem ill. She says she is tired, and tells me to heat food for him, and make sure he eats every morsel on his plate. She asks me to feed him, if I have to. Like she does with me. She asks me not to give him dahi, because he catches a cold very soon. I don't understand why she wants me to do all this. I don't feel good about this. ANd she also tells me that she is going to sleep in my room. I don't like what is happening. I start crying. Thats when she tells me she and papa are having a disagreement, it would all be OK soon. She doesn't tell me anything else. She just says it will all be OK. And she tells me that its important he eats and sleeps correctly, because tomorrow is important for them. I asked her if they had any exams, and she laughed. "Maybe" she said. I didn't ask her any more.
He looks sadder than everyone else. I dont even remember the last time he looked like this. I do everything exactly as Ishima asked me to. He didn't look like he was hungry, but I made him eat anyway. I ask him if he's done anything wrong, and he chokes on his food. It happens to me too, when I try to talk when eating. I did what Ishima does for me, and gave him some water. I shouldn't talk to him. Maybe I should sleep in their room tonight. He wouldn't be able to sleep alone. He must be used to Ishima or me on the bed always. I bid Ishima good night, and went to him. He wasnt able to sleep either. So I told him a story. Usually Ishima or papa read me stories, but nowadays, I think I can do it myself. And who else would help papa if not me? I don't know when I fall asleep.
Its morning again, and I see them ready to go somewhere. Simmi bua is going to take me to school. So I wish them best of luck, for their exam or whatever important work they have.
I meet Shravu in school and tell him every thing. I tell him everything everyday. I ask him if his parents fight. He says they do, but they always make up. He says his parents also looked sad and worried in the last few days, but all was fine now. Maybe that's how it is with everyone's parents. That makes me happy. Ishima and Papa will also make up soon.
As I turn to walk to class, I see him. He comes to me with an angry face, and shouts at me "You know what your Ishima has done now?". I don't react first. I don't know how to. Adi bhaiyya has never spoken to me at school before.
I have 2 quotes this time, to make up for the brevity of my post :)
The first one is for Raman's scene with Ruhi today, and the second one is for my story above.
"A first child is your own best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out. You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world. But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after--oh, that' s love by a different name." - Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible
"Children are not a zoo of entertainingly exotic creatures, but an array of mirrors in which the human predicament leaps out at us." - John Updike
*** So, how was it???
I know they weren't ramblings, I had dialogues from others in there. But I couldn't call it an OS either, because there wasn't anything really happening.
