Posted:
Hi everyone
This wasn't really planned or anything I happened to write it on a whim earlier today, a couple of hours before the episode aired. It was my own personal 'fail safe' in case I didn't find what I was looking for- but I did. I wasn't going to post this but Shivu and Sai's encouragement made me change my mind and i thought i would share.
A bit of a disclaimer here, I do not explicitly mention anyone other than IshRa in this but this is very much a piece which encompasses the other people in their lives too and the effects they have too. Also i had imagined that we would get a more 'public' dual between Raman and Shagun and one that potentially involved Ishita ...(also the setting i.e the Ladies bathroom of this OS is taken from one of my favourite rom coms Hum Tum)
Also the title is completely abstract whether it makes sense to anyone or not I do not knowđł
...
It is from the corner of his eyes that he sees her in a fleeting moment before she leaves his sight. He is so riled up ,so angry that he is worried what he may do when he does see her again. But her pull is such that he has no choice but to follow her out.
He looks around in the lobby of the hotel but he can't see her. He then sees the 'ladies' sign. He doesn't even stop to contemplate that he is about to charge into the ladies bathroom. He is enraged. How dare she walk away. Away from him.
She is wiping the smudged mascara away from her cheeks. Though she isn't making much progress as she wanted he tears keep falling. She had promised herself that she would never cry because of the taunts of others. Today was different though. Shagun's words had pierced through her and for a moment she had begun to question whether she could really complete Raman. These last few weeks had brought so much change in their relationship. A genuine affection had developed between the two of them. They had started to seek out each other's counsel and company. They were happy. At least she thought they were. So why did Shagun's word hurt so much. Why had he kept silent.
He storms into the bathroom shouting her name. She hears the rage in his voice. He stops outside her cubicle and starts voraciously banging "Ishita open the door" he demands.
"Please mujhe akele rehne do" she whispers, the words choking her. The pain in her voice veberates and he feels like someone has punched him hard and his core is aching.
" I can't leave you alone" he tells her in a matter of fact kind of way though inside he is yearning to hold her, to console her. She is silent. She feels so lost and bewildered by all that is happening around her and most importantly and worryingly the feelings she knows she is developing for him. And the fear that he doesn't feel for her in that same way.
He knocks again. There is this still silence and he knows she senses it too. He leans back against the pillar. He is trying his utmost not to lose his cool, but the rage in him is rising again. Why is she so effected by others words. Does she not realise her importance in his life. She is the mother of their daughter, an ideal daughter in law.. But most importantly how can she not see that she is his anchor. He was drifting helplessly and meandering through life without purpose, before her.
He is growing impatient again and turns his back and pounds his fist against the mirror. The sound veberating within those four walls. He doesn't hear her up come to him from behind until he feels her hand on his shoulder.
"Dhard hua" she asks as she tenderly takes his wrist in her hands. She caresses his wrist and softly. He looks up at her. Her eyes are red, and he sees that her make up has run. He instinctively begins to stoke her cheek. Their gazes meet for a moment and they look deep into each other. Both trying to show the other the truth of their reality.
He breaks their gaze and takes both her hands in his. "Why did you walk away Ishita" he probes her, frightened of her potential answer. " "because I felt so alone even though I was stood in a room full of people and even though you were there too"
"I was stood by you Ishita, but yet you still walked away from me. We are in this together. Don't you understand ... I am here. I don't want to be anywhere else but here with you. I will always stand by you" she feels his grasp on her tighten and her heart quicken in pace.
" I'm sorry Raman, sometimes I forget that your past will always be part of our present and future. What happened today just touched a nerve. I feel stupid now" and she begins to look away. He takes her face in his hands.
"Listen to me, don't feel that way. You also need to understand that there was a reason I was silent. Trust in me and in what we have, because you are my sukoon. You are right about my past but don't you understand that you are the one who binds it all together..and will always be the one who does. This is real" and he places her hand on his chest.
Hearing his words, she begins to blush and he sees a hint of smile. The anger, the frustration all subsides when he sees her smile. He sees her and he needs her, and now that he has acquainted her with those feelings her heart feels at ease. She takes his hand and they walk out together.
Arjun
