Posted:
Hey friends
So, I decided to keep this OS separate from the Ehsaas track, because this one is written around what happened on the show in the last 2 days. And more importantly, its a 'serious' one; Not in the same space where Ishita and Raman are in my Ehsaas track.
I wrote this one because I would like Ishita and Raman to have some 'talking' time. I do absolutely love the Ishra scenes we are getting, but I would also like them to have regular conversations. I am grounded in reality enough to know that the show won't address this as much as I'd like to, and I don't mind as long as I get to write my heart out on OSes like this one. I sincerely hope you guys like it.
The song for this OS is
Kahaan Tak Yeh Man ko Andhere Chhalenge from Baton Baton Mein
I especially love these lines from the song:
"Kahe Koi Kuch Bhi Magar Sach Yehi Hai
Lahar Pyar Ki Jo Kahin Uth Rahi Hain
Usey Ek Din To Kinare Milenge
Udaasi Bhare Din Kabhi To Dhalenge"
***
Ishita was livid. She had begun the speech with so much enthusiasm, and had covered more than half of it before she realised he was gone. She was busy making sure she got the speech right, looking around at everyone and absorbing their feedback. She then looked around for the one feedback that mattered the most, the topic of her speech. He was gone, and she hadn't even caught a single reaction of his. This speech was a spur-of-the-moment decision for her. Once she had realised the magnitude of Raman's plan, she felt a huge surge of emotions running through her. SHe did not know which emotion was the strongest; admiration, relief, regret, guilt or gratitude.
So she decided to talk to him through the only way she could think of. She knew he would taunt her about lack of originality, but she had to do something. And her gesture had to be public so she could set the record straight with everyone who ever thought they weren't suited for each other. It had taken her a couple of hours to memorise the words, but a lot lesser time to understand their meaning. Once she was sure what she wanted to say, she'd gone to Pammi aunty for help. She did not want
to ask anyone in the Bhalla family, because she didnt want to ruin the surprise for anyone. Her speech was also a way for her to re-instate faith in her as the Bhalla bahu. As much as she'd like to believe, she knew in her heart that Simmi and Mummyji hadnt yet gotten over the Parmeet incident and what they thought was Ishita's part in ruining Simmi's marriage.
Once the appreciation and adulation finished, she quietly walked around looking for him. She was surprised she couldn't find Mihir and Neil either. Thats when she realised the 3 of them may have left together. She couldn't imagine what could be so important at work that Raman dragged both of them along with him, on the day of their respective engagements. Her anger couldn't be controlled any more and she started muttering as usual. Bala jiju had come to her and talking to him had offered some solace, but that didn't excuse Raman's actions. She suddenly felt as though she wasn't being appreciated at all. The speech was just a gesture, but not being there to even witness that gesture was an unforgivable action on Raman's part. Once all the guests left, and the gifts gathered, she drove back home with Ruhi. She put Ruhi to sleep in Mummyji's room, because she still had some work to do at home. She had to put away all the gifts and start preparing a list of ingredients to be bought and prepped for the dinner for Bua the next day.
Raman remembered the exact moment when she started the speech and smile came to his face. He then quickly corrected himself, because a hospital wasnt a place to smile. He was distraught. The memories of Ruhi's accident and the emotional trauma he went through when Ruhi needed blood suddenly appeared in his thoughts. The hospital that used to remind him of the birth of his children now brought up bad memories. He looked upwards and thought "Just this once, when everything was going right. Why did you have to spoil my happiness? Its not just me you are punishing, what have poor Neil and Mihir done to deserve this? This should have been the happiest nights of their lives". He had given up on faith a long time ago. Everything that had happened to him in the last few years had made him stone hearted. But the last few months were eroding the stone, they were slowly exposing his heart again. He had almost started believing that he could be happy again. Ishita was the one responsible for it all. Slowly, but steadily, she was making him human again. He was returning to being a father, son, a friend. And if this would have kept up, he would learn to become a husband again too.
He looked at Aditya and the hatred in his eyes. He was boggled by the differences in his children. They both had the same genes, but turned out so different. He was ashamed at himself for letting Adi go. Maybe he could have done more to fight the charges, may be he should have kept on fighting legally. Maybe he should have stooped down to Shagun's level and played tricks to win his son back. Every time he looked at Adi now, he was reminded of the accusations his son had made against him in open court. Raman had been so broken that time, that he couldn't even react when they slapped a restraining order on his face. Neil's voice brought him back to the present. "Raman sir, formalities over. You are free to go home. And don't worry, things will be ok". Raman rued "I hope so Neil, I really do". Shagun's latest gimmick had crashed his world once again. Her threats were getting more serious and his son was getting farther away. Raman didn't really see any light at the end of this dark tunnel.
When he got home, Ishita was visibly upset, and rightly so. He had left her alone on stage, where she was baring her soul. He hadn't told anyone he was leaving, and had avoided her phone calls too. He came and sat on the couch and listened to her mutterings. Today wasnt the day he could retort. He was at fault and he knew that. Ishita stopped her lecture a minute after she started. He was sitting there, shoulders slouched, head down. This was a pose she had seen only once or twice before. And
that was during Ruhi's custody hearing and later during the confusion about her paternity. She instantly knew something was wrong. If he had just been out on another business meeting, he wouldn't have listened to her quietly. He would have given her some explanation which he would have thought were rational justifications, and she, excuses. That had always been the structure of their fights. Suddenly everything seemed to be in a state of imbalance. She handed him a glass of water, and sat next to him. Once he'd finished drinking the water, she turned him around to face her, and held his hands. "Kya hua Raman? Aap theek nahin lag rahe ho" she said.
That was all Raman could hear, before that tear escaped his eyes. He wiped it off swiftly and said "I am sorry I couldn't stay for your speech"
"No Raman, that is not what I am asking. What happened to you?"
"I was at the hospital Ishita. I got a couple of calls from some unknown number during your speech. I ignored them, and then I saw Adi calling. All he said was to come to the hospital. I rushed there and found out that SHagun had overdosed on sleeping pills. The police was there and Adi was accusing me of being the cause of his mother's actions. I did not know what to do. I wasn't even allowed to hold my son and console him. He rushed towards Ashok for solace. He called him Dad, again."
"Raman, Is Shagun OK now?" she was genuinely concerned.
"Yes Ishita. And the worst part of it all was that it was, she said she overdosed by mistake, but told me that she had the power and cunnigness to blame it all on me. She said it was revenge for the humiliation I caused for her at the sangeet. She showed me once more, 2 nights in a row that she controls my emotions. She controls my happiness and well-being. She even controls my freedom. One word from her, and I would have been in jail tonight. No amount of legal help could have saved me. It would have been her word against mine. And she had a hall full of witnesses to prove that I caused her to fall and shamed her during the dance."
"Raman, I am so sorry all this happened. And I also feel sorry that I couldnt be there with you. I know Mihir and Neil were around, but I just feel I could have been there with you to show some emotional support"
"No Ishita, I did not want to spoil your night, I wanted the smile on your face to last as long as possible tonight. I am sorry that you keep getting dragged into this war" he had genuine regret on his face.
She couldn't see him so lost, and she broke her one rule. She had decided a long time ago that she wouldn't interfere in his relationship with Shagun unless Ruhi's well-being was concerned. Today, it was his well-being she was so concerned with. "No Raman. Dont be sorry, not for me. But apologise to yourself. You are man who has risen like a phoenix, you have jumped over every obstacle. You have not let your past interfere with anything. If anything, it has made you more successful and a better man. Stop giving Shagun control. Remember, the day you let anyone else control your feelings and actions is the day you have already lost before beginning a war. From what I have seen, Shagun is a narcissist. Along with that, she has now become extremely spiteful because she is regretting leaving you. She left you because she didnt think you were a man she could want or desire. But she now witnesses that they could not have been a better man. The choices she made are coming back to bite her. The man she left you for isnt a fraction of what you are, and she realises that. Do not let her regret cloud your present and future."
He couldn't stop his smile now. She was back to her lecture mode, and this was lecture he was truly appreciating. This was maybe the first time she was actually saying something good about him. Granted, she praised him in her speech, but this was something else. This was in the privacy of their room, this was one person trying to lift up another, through kind words. This was the action of a true friend. But she had misjudged his sadness just a bit. He wasnt worried about Shagun. He had to clarify that before Ishita went on to think that he was still wrapped up in that woman.
"Ishita, I know about Shagun. And believe me, if I had my way, I would never see her or even think about her any more. This is about Adi. My first-born was taken away from me, just like that. Like he was a piece of land Ashok had snatched away from me at an auction. I had to witness my son calling me an abuser in front of everyone. I cannot get over the fact that my own son hates me so much that he doesn't even acknowledge that I am his father. To him, I am Mr Raman Bhalla. Ashok Khanna is his father. And every time I think there is a silver lining, Shagun wipes it off with darkness. Thank God for you Ishita, otherwise I wouldnt have my daughter either"
She got it then. Why this man was so particular about winning. Why Ashok Khanna mattered to him so much. Why every business deal and every award meant so much to him. She had it wrong all along, twice. When she first met him she had thought he was an ego maniac wanting to be on top. Then she thought his hatred for Ashok stemmed from Shagun's betrayal. This was never about Shagun. This was about his child. Every deal he lost to Ashok was another reminder of his separated son. Every achievement of Ruhi reminded him of what he could not have with his son. The man was torn. He wasn't able to completely enjoy success and happiness only because a part of him longed for his son to be a part of his life too.
"I am sorry Raman, for not understanding this before. And I just wish I'd been there today, and earlier. To just support you, if not help you"
"NO Ishita, I am sorry for missing your speech. And I wish I hadnt got that call at all, and I didnt have to leave your speech midway"
"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation." - Mark Twain
*** So, how was it ???
So, I decided to keep this OS separate from the Ehsaas track, because this one is written around what happened on the show in the last 2 days. And more importantly, its a 'serious' one; Not in the same space where Ishita and Raman are in my Ehsaas track.
I wrote this one because I would like Ishita and Raman to have some 'talking' time. I do absolutely love the Ishra scenes we are getting, but I would also like them to have regular conversations. I am grounded in reality enough to know that the show won't address this as much as I'd like to, and I don't mind as long as I get to write my heart out on OSes like this one. I sincerely hope you guys like it.
The song for this OS is
Kahaan Tak Yeh Man ko Andhere Chhalenge from Baton Baton Mein
I especially love these lines from the song:
"Kahe Koi Kuch Bhi Magar Sach Yehi Hai
Lahar Pyar Ki Jo Kahin Uth Rahi Hain
Usey Ek Din To Kinare Milenge
Udaasi Bhare Din Kabhi To Dhalenge"
***
Ishita was livid. She had begun the speech with so much enthusiasm, and had covered more than half of it before she realised he was gone. She was busy making sure she got the speech right, looking around at everyone and absorbing their feedback. She then looked around for the one feedback that mattered the most, the topic of her speech. He was gone, and she hadn't even caught a single reaction of his. This speech was a spur-of-the-moment decision for her. Once she had realised the magnitude of Raman's plan, she felt a huge surge of emotions running through her. SHe did not know which emotion was the strongest; admiration, relief, regret, guilt or gratitude.
So she decided to talk to him through the only way she could think of. She knew he would taunt her about lack of originality, but she had to do something. And her gesture had to be public so she could set the record straight with everyone who ever thought they weren't suited for each other. It had taken her a couple of hours to memorise the words, but a lot lesser time to understand their meaning. Once she was sure what she wanted to say, she'd gone to Pammi aunty for help. She did not want
to ask anyone in the Bhalla family, because she didnt want to ruin the surprise for anyone. Her speech was also a way for her to re-instate faith in her as the Bhalla bahu. As much as she'd like to believe, she knew in her heart that Simmi and Mummyji hadnt yet gotten over the Parmeet incident and what they thought was Ishita's part in ruining Simmi's marriage.
Once the appreciation and adulation finished, she quietly walked around looking for him. She was surprised she couldn't find Mihir and Neil either. Thats when she realised the 3 of them may have left together. She couldn't imagine what could be so important at work that Raman dragged both of them along with him, on the day of their respective engagements. Her anger couldn't be controlled any more and she started muttering as usual. Bala jiju had come to her and talking to him had offered some solace, but that didn't excuse Raman's actions. She suddenly felt as though she wasn't being appreciated at all. The speech was just a gesture, but not being there to even witness that gesture was an unforgivable action on Raman's part. Once all the guests left, and the gifts gathered, she drove back home with Ruhi. She put Ruhi to sleep in Mummyji's room, because she still had some work to do at home. She had to put away all the gifts and start preparing a list of ingredients to be bought and prepped for the dinner for Bua the next day.
Raman remembered the exact moment when she started the speech and smile came to his face. He then quickly corrected himself, because a hospital wasnt a place to smile. He was distraught. The memories of Ruhi's accident and the emotional trauma he went through when Ruhi needed blood suddenly appeared in his thoughts. The hospital that used to remind him of the birth of his children now brought up bad memories. He looked upwards and thought "Just this once, when everything was going right. Why did you have to spoil my happiness? Its not just me you are punishing, what have poor Neil and Mihir done to deserve this? This should have been the happiest nights of their lives". He had given up on faith a long time ago. Everything that had happened to him in the last few years had made him stone hearted. But the last few months were eroding the stone, they were slowly exposing his heart again. He had almost started believing that he could be happy again. Ishita was the one responsible for it all. Slowly, but steadily, she was making him human again. He was returning to being a father, son, a friend. And if this would have kept up, he would learn to become a husband again too.
He looked at Aditya and the hatred in his eyes. He was boggled by the differences in his children. They both had the same genes, but turned out so different. He was ashamed at himself for letting Adi go. Maybe he could have done more to fight the charges, may be he should have kept on fighting legally. Maybe he should have stooped down to Shagun's level and played tricks to win his son back. Every time he looked at Adi now, he was reminded of the accusations his son had made against him in open court. Raman had been so broken that time, that he couldn't even react when they slapped a restraining order on his face. Neil's voice brought him back to the present. "Raman sir, formalities over. You are free to go home. And don't worry, things will be ok". Raman rued "I hope so Neil, I really do". Shagun's latest gimmick had crashed his world once again. Her threats were getting more serious and his son was getting farther away. Raman didn't really see any light at the end of this dark tunnel.
When he got home, Ishita was visibly upset, and rightly so. He had left her alone on stage, where she was baring her soul. He hadn't told anyone he was leaving, and had avoided her phone calls too. He came and sat on the couch and listened to her mutterings. Today wasnt the day he could retort. He was at fault and he knew that. Ishita stopped her lecture a minute after she started. He was sitting there, shoulders slouched, head down. This was a pose she had seen only once or twice before. And
that was during Ruhi's custody hearing and later during the confusion about her paternity. She instantly knew something was wrong. If he had just been out on another business meeting, he wouldn't have listened to her quietly. He would have given her some explanation which he would have thought were rational justifications, and she, excuses. That had always been the structure of their fights. Suddenly everything seemed to be in a state of imbalance. She handed him a glass of water, and sat next to him. Once he'd finished drinking the water, she turned him around to face her, and held his hands. "Kya hua Raman? Aap theek nahin lag rahe ho" she said.
That was all Raman could hear, before that tear escaped his eyes. He wiped it off swiftly and said "I am sorry I couldn't stay for your speech"
"No Raman, that is not what I am asking. What happened to you?"
"I was at the hospital Ishita. I got a couple of calls from some unknown number during your speech. I ignored them, and then I saw Adi calling. All he said was to come to the hospital. I rushed there and found out that SHagun had overdosed on sleeping pills. The police was there and Adi was accusing me of being the cause of his mother's actions. I did not know what to do. I wasn't even allowed to hold my son and console him. He rushed towards Ashok for solace. He called him Dad, again."
"Raman, Is Shagun OK now?" she was genuinely concerned.
"Yes Ishita. And the worst part of it all was that it was, she said she overdosed by mistake, but told me that she had the power and cunnigness to blame it all on me. She said it was revenge for the humiliation I caused for her at the sangeet. She showed me once more, 2 nights in a row that she controls my emotions. She controls my happiness and well-being. She even controls my freedom. One word from her, and I would have been in jail tonight. No amount of legal help could have saved me. It would have been her word against mine. And she had a hall full of witnesses to prove that I caused her to fall and shamed her during the dance."
"Raman, I am so sorry all this happened. And I also feel sorry that I couldnt be there with you. I know Mihir and Neil were around, but I just feel I could have been there with you to show some emotional support"
"No Ishita, I did not want to spoil your night, I wanted the smile on your face to last as long as possible tonight. I am sorry that you keep getting dragged into this war" he had genuine regret on his face.
She couldn't see him so lost, and she broke her one rule. She had decided a long time ago that she wouldn't interfere in his relationship with Shagun unless Ruhi's well-being was concerned. Today, it was his well-being she was so concerned with. "No Raman. Dont be sorry, not for me. But apologise to yourself. You are man who has risen like a phoenix, you have jumped over every obstacle. You have not let your past interfere with anything. If anything, it has made you more successful and a better man. Stop giving Shagun control. Remember, the day you let anyone else control your feelings and actions is the day you have already lost before beginning a war. From what I have seen, Shagun is a narcissist. Along with that, she has now become extremely spiteful because she is regretting leaving you. She left you because she didnt think you were a man she could want or desire. But she now witnesses that they could not have been a better man. The choices she made are coming back to bite her. The man she left you for isnt a fraction of what you are, and she realises that. Do not let her regret cloud your present and future."
He couldn't stop his smile now. She was back to her lecture mode, and this was lecture he was truly appreciating. This was maybe the first time she was actually saying something good about him. Granted, she praised him in her speech, but this was something else. This was in the privacy of their room, this was one person trying to lift up another, through kind words. This was the action of a true friend. But she had misjudged his sadness just a bit. He wasnt worried about Shagun. He had to clarify that before Ishita went on to think that he was still wrapped up in that woman.
"Ishita, I know about Shagun. And believe me, if I had my way, I would never see her or even think about her any more. This is about Adi. My first-born was taken away from me, just like that. Like he was a piece of land Ashok had snatched away from me at an auction. I had to witness my son calling me an abuser in front of everyone. I cannot get over the fact that my own son hates me so much that he doesn't even acknowledge that I am his father. To him, I am Mr Raman Bhalla. Ashok Khanna is his father. And every time I think there is a silver lining, Shagun wipes it off with darkness. Thank God for you Ishita, otherwise I wouldnt have my daughter either"
She got it then. Why this man was so particular about winning. Why Ashok Khanna mattered to him so much. Why every business deal and every award meant so much to him. She had it wrong all along, twice. When she first met him she had thought he was an ego maniac wanting to be on top. Then she thought his hatred for Ashok stemmed from Shagun's betrayal. This was never about Shagun. This was about his child. Every deal he lost to Ashok was another reminder of his separated son. Every achievement of Ruhi reminded him of what he could not have with his son. The man was torn. He wasn't able to completely enjoy success and happiness only because a part of him longed for his son to be a part of his life too.
"I am sorry Raman, for not understanding this before. And I just wish I'd been there today, and earlier. To just support you, if not help you"
"NO Ishita, I am sorry for missing your speech. And I wish I hadnt got that call at all, and I didnt have to leave your speech midway"
"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation." - Mark Twain
*** So, how was it ???
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