I am gonna go out on a limb here and assume people on the forum know me - particularly because of my OS' and SS' - I hardly have made posts on this forum which incite a discussion - not because I don't enjoy the discussions but because I am a lazy bum.
However, today I felt the need to come out of that hibernation and make this post.
A fair warning to people who intend to read this post further - I don't intend to play a party-pooper here but I had to say the things that are on my mind and I have nothing against anyone who objects to my ideas here - I just hope civility is maintained should you chose to make an opinion in the contrary.
This is a post I had somehow been having on my mind since a while but thankfully could not get around to posting it.
Now I know the speech we heard from Ishita last night was really sweet and a very cute gesture from her end to thank and apologize to Raman, I wouldn't call it her having fallen in love with him yet. Nor is Raman there - what they are experiencing right now is the acceptance phase of this marriage. We know they came together for Ruhi' sake and had made it clear to each other from day one all they shall be to each other are her parents and nothing more or nothing less. That is not so easy to do.
It started with Ishita who came into this family for Ruhi slowly looking out for the other members of the family the best she could - because that is how she has been raised, who she is - she is a caring soul. Also this is Ruhi' family - so how could she harbor any animosity towards these people? Ruhi is the reason of her joy and smiles - how can she not feel connected to anyone who loves her. Slowly that extended to Raman - she began taking care of him in the earnest, and when she saved him in that land deal - it was as a wife and as a person, how can you wish ill for someone who you happen to live with under the same roof? Especially when it is someone like Ishita, we are talking about - the woman has no rotten bone in her body.
Her goodness made Raman warm up to he, he began noticing it - her love and concern for his daughter the day she spoke in court. When she spoke how Ruhi is always on her mind but would not allow it to sink in, would not admit a stranger out of nowhere can love his daughter so much, the love reciprocated to the extent that his daughter would chose to live with her over her own parents. That hurt him and he chose to hurt Ishita back by approaching Bala' mom to speak ill of Ishita, but destiny had other plans in the making.
The first genuine reflection Raman had in regards to his opinion of Ishita was on the day Ruhi returned from Ashok and Shagun' place post the trial. The scene where Ruhi calls Ishita Ishimaa for the first time - and Ishita is so pleased she hugs Ruhi and he witnesses his daughter finally loved by a mother for the first time. The smile on Ruhi' face - one he never saw before assured him, despite his misgivings about Ishita she does love Ruhi and would be a good mom. The small moment has a tiny flicker of a smile playing on his lips and his eyes reflect how he is moved by this one moment.
Now I believe the current standing of the duo has its roots in moments that were significant to them individually and as a couple - both of them did a lot of soul-searching courtesy these.
For Ishita - the moment was when she realized how wrongly she had judged Raman and in assuming the worst, she acted without thinking. She slapped her husband for no fault of his. Yes, I am talking about her getting drunk and going on a rampage of sorts. With the misunderstanding cleared, she found she was so wrong and decided not to react without thinking from then on regarding anything Raman does, until she is absolutely sure and clear on the account.
It is the very decision that made her notice the goodness that is inherent in Raman as a person - which he hides very well now. She apologized to him last night as well because she found she misunderstood him once again, found he harbored no ill-will against either of the couples and always wanted the best for everyone, doing things in a way that were out of the ordinary but which always had the best of intentions at heart for everyone around him.
Like she said - he does good by everyone around him, takes care of his people - only he has a out unusual approach towards things, which make his actions questionable sometimes since it's hard to understand his motive.
Her acceptance - that he is good for her too - is not in my opinion any declaration of love nor is it the beginning of it from her end. It is her acceptance that yes, he is a nice man, a good son, brother and a father but also as a husband she finds he is good for her.
This marriage, its identity is now forging itself sans the Ruhi factor - with the acceptance that yes, they got married to become parents but the truth is they got married to each other. This relationship does exist beyond the realm that they never wanted to exist in the first place.
The sirf ruhi ke liye tag is slowly being sidelined since they are realizing that they are now responsible towards each other, for each other without even Ruhi involved.
For Raman - Ishita has done a lot for him to thaw though he will not give up his usual attitude just yet, but there is a difference now in his approach to her, in his very thinking about Ishita. The biggest thing she did for him was assure Ruhi' paternity when he was too conflicted to even want to go ahead with the test fearing the worst. He never learned how she got to know of this issue of his but what mattered to him was she gave him the ultimate peace with it. It made him wake up to the fact she could have let him rot in hell, in misery but chose to help him even if only for Ruhi.
The land deal fiasco made him realize even if he does not understand the motives of her actions it does not mean she bears him any ill will. The recent coffee shop scene where he chose to lend a patient ear to her was an outcome of that realization - he has accepted he should let her speak and not jump the guns, though he still was grumpy since she hurt him by calling his first ever-genuine gift to her a gaudy thing.
His speech in Tamil was incited by his need to thank her for all she has done for him in recognition of her goodness, just as hers was last night in Punjabi.
Lastly for them as a couple - the PervMeet fiasco.
This one shook them both up quite literally. Things changed and how!
When Raman learned of her plight, he was horrified and stupefied beyond words and while he knew she was innocent-, he had mixed feelings caught between his wife and family.
Ultimately, though the person that he is chose to side with the right, he chose his wife over everyone else because he could not let this issue fester. This was not just about her or him then, but them. He had the mother of his child in mind, yes, but also his wife - the woman he realized he is responsible towards, which was what he said in the apology later to her. His words - that she ensured Ruhi' well-being over everything else and in turn it was his duty to ensure hers, which he failed at and it is something for which he would never forgive himself.
It finally sunk in - she is his responsibility to him not just for pretense in front of his daughter or show to the world - she is his wife. It is his duty he protects her when needed, stand up for her when wanted and take care of her.
Last night when speaking to Tandon, in an attempt to get him to understand Ishita spoke about the failures each of them faced in the past in their prior relationships. Now I know her words were indicative perhaps to some that she has moved on, and understand Raman has not but to me they meant something different.
Yes she clearly sees Raman is hurt and in pain, angry over his past even now - but it means he has not made peace with it, has not accepted somewhere deep down despite giving it everything he had- he still failed. The woman he loved with all his heart left him and worse left him for another man not because she found love in him - no but because of his riches. Had she left him because she genuinely fell in love Raman would have been just as hurt but the anger would not have been of this level he would have let her be happy with whomever she chose, been the bigger man. Here he feels slighted because deep down he believes relationships and love matters over everything. He said so to Tandon too last night he is least bothered about his wealth if it means two people he is close too are happy - that their lives were not ruined, their hearts broken.
Raman values love and his family over everything - the very things Shagun destroyed.
Another reason Raman cannot move on that easy is also because he has two kids with the woman, which is not something, someone; anyone can forget or just skip over. Not to mention the fact Shagun chooses to not leave him alone, time and again she shows up to open up old wounds, though now slowly her effect - poisonous and malicious - is not up to the par. With Ishita in his life, Raman no longer feels the joke Shagun always made him feel, the poor lone loser she painted him to be.
He is not just a married man now, he is someone who has found a solace and bliss in his life courtesy of that marriage, the woman who is now his wife that makes him rise above things. He has more to look forwards too and better things at that. his home and family don't feel like the ruins of a warzone or a disease struck place, it's a livelier, cheerful place - courtesy of his wife and the in-laws who always ensure some hustle bustle, even if it is of the crazy kind.
He has a reason to look forward to - to be at home. His daughter, who brightens up his world, now that he has finally let him love her, let her in and of course, the woman he enjoys teasing and annoying to bits. He isn't walking to his mother' incessant complaints about Shagun, her crying over his failed marriage or her attempts to get him hitched. He is relaxed in his mind. No longer is his home a place which makes him feel nauseated or claustrophobic - rather it's an entertainment hub of sorts in its own way and he thoroughly enjoys this.
Ishita is yet in a way a closely bound and undisclosed set of volumes - she is not merely a book to me. There are layers and stories to her, which are not even remotely touched. When the time comes that her story comes to the forth it will be quite interesting to see things from her end.
Her acknowledgement last night - that she too carries scars of a broken heart was indeed a big one. She cried when she spoke of things - of pasts both hers and Raman' - but what made her cry is not just her or his pain alone or combined but the very thought that this pain should not be inflicted on anyone else. Its not an easy burden to bear for anyone.
Ishita has not moved on in my opinion - how can she when she has had no closure. Yes Raman has taken a lot of precedence over her life and her mind - but not her heart as of yet. She does not love Subu anymore, but she has not fallen in Raman as of yet as well.
She has just made peace with things - past and present.
Subu not being in her face all the time just has made it easier to deal with things plus the fact that she only has memories of the heartache not any reminders - physical ones like Raman has in his kids.
It would be something though once Subu finally moves in to the picture - to see how Ishita reacts. Her one small scene in the only episode that has disclosed her story so far reveals she has not forgiven Subu yet. She chose to lie she has found someone - a man named Raman - affirms that. Since the lie was said to spite and hurt him, as she was hurt watching Subu hold hands with his very pregnant wife. The anger on her face, in her eyes spoke volumes about the anger simmering beneath the surface.
Love is not yet a stage I find in IshRa' relationship. It's bound to happen but not that easy - here are two very damaged people who are slowly finding their roots again. They are subconsciously starting to get a drift of having someone to rely on once again, they are trying to trust again, but love is not on their mind. Attraction though is there, which is also slowly being recognized. She called him handsome last week and we see him stunned speechless whenever Ishita dolls up.
I cant predict or even know what will finally cause that to happen, but I cannot wait for it to happen, and saying as much I want the process to be a slow burn - which is the approach I find the CVs are taking.
I am not trying to antagonize the forum here or play a spoilsport but this post - I just had to make it. The person that I am doesn't believe in romanticizing things nor viewing the world through rose tinted glasses.
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