Custody reviews and the Bhalla kids - Page 3

Originally posted by: happenstance

Hi this is a great post.

I will give my two penny's worth based on English law and how children matters are considered here. First off it's extremely rare for the child to actually give evidence in Court in front of their parents. Generally the children have a Guardian appointed in complex cases. It is for the Guardian to ascertain the wishes and feelings of the child and a lawyer then presents this to the Court. This is generally in the form of a report. If a child is older, I would say 13 and over then it is conceivable that they could attend Court. However it tends to be where they disagree with what the Guardian is proposing.

In terms of the age that children's wishes and feelings are considered it tends to be from 7 years and up. Courts are very aware of that children end up being pawn pieces sometimes and therefore due consideration is given to all circumstances. This can include psy reports and valuations of the children and parents.

Shagun's actions were actually completely correct though obviously her intentions were all wrong. If she believed that Ruhi would not be sufficiently safeguarded or looked after she is well within her rights to bring the matter back to Court. Though here no Judge would go round to the home. It would be the Guardian or social services.

As a side note a lot was made of Raman's drinking ( though more as an observation from Ishita) and had this been a case here he would need to have had hair strand testing to monitor his alcohol use.

Sorry for the long waffling post! I will be interested to hear what the position would be in Indian law too.

Originally posted by: always_a_TV_fan

Ramayan reply edited on page 2...

One of these days my reply is going to be longer than your original post. and we will BOTH be embarrassed 😆

Originally posted by: always_a_TV_fan

Res... Edited...

Aani... lovely post as always 😊. I must say that this serial is so multi-dimensional. On the one hand we are going ga-ga over the newly forming Ishra romance. On the other, the script and characters are enabling us to have serious discussions like this. All in the same episode. And I have said this a few thousand times before, but this forum is such a sanctuary for so many different kinds of fans! 👏

Hey Lucky yep I am so happy to have a show where each character however loathed elicits a response and while the focus is on the lead pair they aren't all there is to the show. And the actors all of them deserve an applause for making us love or hate them as much as the cvs for creating them.

About the first para you wrote. The part I felt so squeamish about is not that Ishita entered the Bhalla house, but that the Perv was standing there. I CANNOT imagine being in the same room as the perpetrator of such a horrible crime, when one is the victim.

Yep and is it me or did it seem like he was checking her out even then? 🤢😡😡 the things a mother can do for her child are indeed above comprehension.

What stood out (with regards to Shagun) in the episode for me where her 2 looks. The first look of love when she sees Ruhi, and then the shame on her face when Ruhi chose Ishima over her, once more. I also liked how they showed that Ishita asked Ruhi to say hello to her mother. We all know that it was not for the benefit of the judge, its just the right upbringing she wants for Ruhi.

Yep I rem even a scene from the ceo award event shagun is worried ruhi would burn herself while drinking the hot soup and is about to help her but ashok stops her, shagun does love ruhi too bad that love isnt enough for her to realize she wronged her daughter in an unforgivable manner long long ago and now there is no changing that and so she has to live with what she sowed. Again yes the judge would notice how Ishita never tries to antagonize Ruhi against her own mom, which we have seen shagun do with adi for Raman, if this does crop up sometime and the same judge ends up over the case of adi too she is bound to notice the differences

Upbringing - that word leads me to Adi naturally...

Shagun got custody of Adi because it was established that Raman had physically abused him, Adi himself had testified. And so the court granted custody to the biological mother. In such cases, I dont know if a review is warranted. According to the courts, Adi is where is belongs, in a safe haven. And they also had a restraining order against Raman, so there's no way he could do anything about it either. In his own way, I think he was trying to get Adi back (emotionally) when Adi moved back from the hostel. The only way the court decision would be reversed is if it was proved beyond doubt that Adi had lied about the abuse. I don't see that happening any time soon. Not that a child would suddenly remember what was true and what wasn't any way. Not after so many years. But this could happen in Balaji land, no doubt, with Ishita's positive influence. (I dont think, it really matters that he was in a hostel for so long, or they used him in manipulating Raman.)

@bold - yep it would be hard to rem and yeah from what you said the review doesnt stand a chance but if a counter case is filed then these skeletons can be dug up for sure.


I personally believe that character traits come from the genes, but our actions are influenced by the surroundings and upbringing. That's where I stand on the nature versus nurture debate.

My memory of the Adi flashback scene is vague, so please correct me if I am wrong: Adi had already had traits of deceit (he cheated in an exam), from Shagun I suppose 😉 That was the turning point in the boy's life. If Shagun had handled it properly, Adi wouldn't have turned out to be like this. I dont think he even lied in court. He was coaxed by his mother to blame his father, and the kid was already mad at Raman because he'd scolded him. And then, the Ashok-Shagun duo practically coddled, bribed, influenced the kid. All because he was at the right age. Its exactly what is happening to Ruhi right now, only the parents and surroundings are different, so the outcome will be different.

Yep that is quite right lucky and Shagun def has been the one who has influenced her son in all the wrong ways he indeed fell because he ran away when Raman scolded him because he cheated, instead of scolding her son she was against her hubby

I was looking for quotes over the internet (I am not as well-read as you, so I cannot 'remember' quotes😆 Google is my saviour ) and found this...

"While each child is born with his or her own distinct genetic potential for physical, social, emotional and cognitive development, the possibilities for reaching that potential remain tied to early life experiences and the parent-child relationship within the family" - Bernice Weissbourd

That's all... Seriously, I have spent an hour in the office, and I haven't even earned my pay for even half that time today 🤣.

When I reply to your posts, I sometimes forget that I am replying and think I am writing a post of my own. Thanks for continuously triggering the right reactions of my brain cells 🤗

🤗 aww glad to hear that and I hope your boss doesnt catch you 😆 I have a break today thankfully 😆

You know this reminds me of a quote myself the one you mentioned above by an author I love

"The words with which a child's heart is poisoned, whether through malice or through ignorance, remain branded in his memory, and sooner or later they burn his soul."
Carlos Ruiz Zafn, The Shadow of the Wind

Originally posted by: bila_a

Great post, Annie, I've been so busy, haven't done one yet, I agree I love that the judge here is so capable and no nonsense when it comes to her work as at the end of the day, her decision affects people lives. Love how strong she is and good see something like a case review happen.

Hey Nabz yep I am a fan of that lady too, and the actress playing the part is really good - as a person deciding on the fate of a child these judges should be such

Now let's get to the neighbours and Shagun, you have no idea how much I loved that, your right, they must have witnessed what happened between Shagun and Raman ages back, after all they gave a slight jab by mentioning Shagun abandoning ruhi, the more they said the happier I was and the more jabs Shagun got, they were saying such sweet and nice things, how much ishra loved each other etc, I'm sure she mayst have gotten jealouse on otp of that ruhi, put the nail to the coffin by saying she doesn't want to get with shaguna. Ouch but definitely good.

Yep the bhallas have been shown to have lived there forever and with the kinda closely knit community the society is shown of course they know all the things, glad that the women love Ruhi so much and that they deemed it fit for Shagun to realize that she has found a better mother in Ishita and of course Ruhi, the little darling without a word she made it clear how much she prefers Ishita when she ran towards her and hid behind her slightly, she dint even look at Shagun when she said hi - the actions spoke louder and before the words ever made it out of the mouth of the babe 😳

Even with what happened everyone's first and top priority was ruhi and her custody and not to lose it, what happened was forgot for a moment for the sake of not letting Shaun get the upper hand, though you could still sense the tension from the day before.

Yep that is true and I am glad for once toshi could keep her mouth shut, but one look at simi was clear to make the tension even more known

And omg when Raman said Khabi nahi, punch to the heart, cause for ishita she would be confused, with the stuff that went down, but we know what he meant and saw what his been doing but not Ishu.

Yep that was the moment of the day after Ruhi' scene also it was somehow accentuated further with the new BG... and tonight Raman would keep his word it seems.

Also loved how Shagun smug face got wiped. Good, that some I swear.

As for the custody review, maybe because Raman was labeled abusive there was no need to for it or even if there was I'm sure Shagun and ashok would worm they way out of it. It's different with every case and situation. And also if a parent is proven to be abusive, I don't think a review happens in 6 months but I wouldn't know, I don't know the law all that well especially that of india. Probably,y best to get some who does, edit like the other mentioned about it, they make a good point.

I am as lost about the review thing frankly but I hope that someday Adi learns the truth of his parents - not the one he believes is the truth but the one that is.

As for adi, yes his a brat, super annoying and I do end up hating him at times BUT, he is the product of social conditioning,be way he is, the person he is, the behaviour and his jerkiness is Shagun and Ashoka faults, they brought that child up in such a corrupt environment, poisoning him, the moment they got the chance, and this often happens to a lot of children in similar situation, parents use them as pawns and against one another, exploit the child's love for them to their own benefit, which in the case of adi, his love for Shagun, mind you it's very easy to manipulate kids his age and, he was even younger when it all started. His still young and still has some time for proper guidance to get onto a better path and become a better person, it's the parents responsibility to teach and instil value, responsibility and respect for themselves and others. Which everyone seems to have failed to do, it's gonna be difficult for ishra when it comes to adi, but I have no doubt that Ishu and ruhi and even Raman will eventually break through to adi, considering for a long time adis been conditioned, so breaking that will be a tough process. But with Ishu being so caring and loving without even realizing it, I'm sure at some point it will happen. But for now we just gotta watch this little devil raising havoc as a puppet of Shagun and ashok. You right for all that he is, his still a child, who grew up in a broken home and bad environment and terrible people.

Yep the kid is the result of the people who are raising him - I said so myself I cant stand him myself but then I think its not his fault but that of his mom mostly and esp the school scene made me realize how messed up this kid is and how much he needs positive guidance, after he coughed up why he bullied Shravan the moment Raman asked him to say sorry he went quiet but accepted the verdict meekly but Shagun wouldnt she was still seething over the fact that her kid had to say sorry to Ishita - her own hatred and jealousy have blinded her towards the welfare of her child - this cannot be good for him in the long run if Shagun doesnt realize her mistakes.

Also great point on toshi jI and everyone, hopefully soon she realizes and get that male heir thing out of her mind. And yes the family needs to realize and Ishu's importance, worth and respect her.

The male heir thing - god would I love it if they just forget the shit - but sadly people like her exist - now if ishita cant provide the heir the next best thing she can do for them and that kid is to teach him some manners - which would actually be useful on so many levels - her bond with Raman would get stronger, adi would have a good mother, the siblings would bond and finally toshi may as well shut up all the nasty nonsense she keeps on saying for Ishita all the time.

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Originally posted by: lovely_lady

Great post as always!

thank you 😊

Like you, I was totally struck by how quickly and easily Ishita dashed into the house and soothed the worries of the judge. The Bhallas should be super grateful to her. Without her, Ruhi would've been long gone. And yet Toshi and others just don't care about it and don't even respect Ishita! The Iyers have raised some really good daughters, and Ishita is proof of that. I can't believe that she was willing to help Toshi pick up heavy groceries even after all that Toshi had said to her the night before.

Yep the difference in the upbringing does reflect on a lot of things and I think this is a major, major reason Raman trusted Ishita - he has seen her parents, the family and can understand Ishita was raised with the best possible values, when Mrs Iyer was saying things about his family he was ashamed because he found them to be true - he realizes a mom like Ishita is the best thing Ruhi could have in her life. 😳

And I agree with the Pammy thing. I was so pleasantly surprised by her!

Yep she was the surprise element - I dunno why but it seems after the morning spat she witnessed it was her way of gently telling Raman not to let even his mom influence his life with Ishita, she knows her friend but she also sees what kinda person Ishita is and clearly because of Pooja she is won over by Ishita. I hope someday she can knock some sense into her friend' head too.

And as for Adi. Yeah idk, he probably did have the usual custody checks. The custody checks are usually within six months, so the parents are told in advance and have time to prepare (as Ishita pointed out). Therefore, Ashok and Shagun could've had him home and trained him to say only good things. The only reason IshRa had a out-of-the-blue check today was because Shagun complained. I doubt Raman and family ever complained about Shagun. Heck Raman wasn't even allowed near Adi.

Yep but I think with this move of Shagun' the judge might consider going over the file once again and perhaps realize Ruhi has an elder bro, she might help Raman around the legal ways. The woman has been shown very morally sound and she might see that this is the second time that Shagun Ashok plotted against Raman and used Ruhi... the same could be the case with her bro and she may help Raman with that.

And as for him leaving Ashok and Shagun. I don't see it happening. I mean if they lost him, it would definitely be a blow to them and a gain for Raman, but like I said, I don't see it happening.

Not soon but someday this is Balaji and this would of course be a befitting punishment for Shagun to be left alone after what she did, she not only cheated on her hubby she is playing with the emotions of both her kids just to prove she did right when she dumped Raman - with his success now she wants it even more to happen - she cant take it that Raman is having it all in his life. money, fame, success, ruhi, he even got married again and the day he genuinely falls for Ishita would be something.

Adi clearly favours his mom. And honestly, I don't think that Shagun isn't a loving mom. She is. She loves her son and takes care of him, as best as she knows how. She gives him gifts, showers him with love, etc. Yes she manipulates him and yes she can be irresponsible, but I don't think that means she is not a loving mother. Therefore, even if he goes to Ishita, I don't think he'll end up loving and appreciating her more than Shagun. Ishita's parenting does not work for him. It works for Ruhi because Ruhi is still small and malleable. But Adi is quite a bit older. Idk. I just don't see Adi ever disliking his mother. Because at the end of the day, she has treated him well, well enough for him anyway. And Adi is materialistic like Shagun. If given the choice between love and money, he'd probably choose money like Shagun. Whereas Ishita is the opposite and is teaching Ruhi the same. You can't always change people.

Shagun does love her kids but not enough to do the right thing, the hard things. She is not realizing her love is more damaging then her discipline might be and of course Adi would not be easily won over by Ishita, but thats the crux of it - you cannot raise a child by only bribing them with gifts - they need love, attention, discipline and Adi may be older but he is a child. Adi is materialistic too I agree, but the other day at the school he did bow down and say sorry once his father made him do it, its more about who is parenting the kid here - kids all of them can be influenced one way or another - they are malleable that way its upto a parent to ensure they are doing the job correctly.

And as for discussions of waaris. I want Toshi to realize that a waaris is not everything. That a girl child (Ruhi) can be enough to carry on the family name, like the Iyers have accepted. For me, I want the characters (esp Toshi) to realize that it doesn't matter if she doesn't have a male waaris or her bahu can't have children. I want them to realize that even a barren woman is capable of having and loving children through adoption and that a female child is worth the same as a male child. One of the reasons I really like this show is that it addresses how women who cannot conceive are treated. Very rarely is this issue discussed and that too like Ishita and her life. I thought Subbu and her engagement breaking and the women ostracizing her when the baby was born and calling her bad luck because of her inability to conceive were shown so realistically. And yet each time the show has managed to deal with the issue positively. A break through for Indian television in my eyes.

Yep toshi needs to realize a lot of things but I wont hold my breath for it - she has been shown to be in this mindset all her life and at her age people hardly if at all change so tough luck on that for us.Also like you I am actually fond of this show because it tackles with certain taboos of our society - divorce, remarriage, marrying a divorcee, infertility, molestation and god knows what else is lined up- what I love is YHM doesnt preach like shows on a colorful channel do 😆 it entertains while it provides the correct message

Also, on another note, you were wondering what my name was LOL and its Isha. Could I know your name? Thanks!

Hey Isha, I am Aani 😊 and thank you for this amazing reply 😊

Originally posted by: Indian_Isha

In Adi's case, I would believe that the judge will not emphasize on reviews because he is with his biological mom as per his wish. Whereas Ruhi is not. But if Raman would appeal again citing the reason that Adi has been in the hostel and would want to review the case, that maybe accepted. Again, Adi's wish will count here majorly. Like how Ruhi chose Ishima, he will choose Shagun without even a trial. Raman will have to win his kid and clear the misconceptions he has with his father, get his consent to be with him and then file for a review - That may work.

I have no expert knowledge on this. Ishra24 is a lawyer, can you please clarify this Ishra24?

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Hey good to hear from you again 😃

yep Adi will be back someway or another for sure, I dont see how they will always continue to keep banking on Ruhi - for them to show Shagun has burnt the last proverbial bridge to a good life she would end up losing the one thing she considers as her greatest victory against Raman their son.

And IshRa are slowly bonding as we are seeing and I am assuming it would take the cvs a bit more time to rake this issue - ranging from a few months to a year or so by the time they would be in love perhaps or on the way and anyhow all and any obstacles faced by them makes them come out stronger so even if they arent there yet - we as audience can proudly say bring it on 😆😆

As for the drastic step Ashok is getting majorly pissed with Raman with all his losses and failures so who knows the day might be here sooner then expected. 😳