Rather Odd - Page 4

Originally posted by: rainbowgirl

@TM, @eternala @napstermonster @aadk very well said.

Would like to add that from FBs, it looked like getting married to Raman was her ticket to better life. No idea about what her life was before but that's what it looked like. Shagun is a frivolous person who wants to spend her time pampering herself and enjoying kitty parties and things like that. Instead she got stifled in becoming a middle class housewife with a kid, saas-sasur, teenage Simmi, barely teen Romi & Rinki and Raman who was obsessed with her 🤢

Ashok's attentions on Shagun and the promise of diva life made her break away from her middle class grind. Ruhi was a band-aid baby born on Raman's insistance to keep Shagun in his life which failed miserably Raman was never a good father figure, he didn't have any impact on Aditya's upbringing as he let Shagun do her manmaani. He did take care of Ruhi when she was a baby but as soon as she was old enough he left her in his mom's hands and went away to become bada admi to show Shagun his worth 🤔

Shagun loves herself more than anyone, she does care for Adi in her own way. He's like a fav toy to her, she likes playing with him occasionally but will not mind using him as a pawn in Ashok's dirty games 🤔 Poor Aditya's childhood has been messed by his parents, so it'l be Ishita the mother India who'l make him a better kid in future 🤔

Originally posted by: aadk

I must say that I had a good time reading your comment with the perfectly timed smileys which made so much of sense ! 😆

@ bold1 I second you. The priorities of Shagun were completely different from that of Raman' and I can not even completely blame her following a life that she wished for.There is a track going along similar lines in another serial which I do not actually follow but am generally aware of the tracks and twists.It gets me asking myself a number of questions.Is it really wrong to place one' happiness above everything and everyone else? Shagun was frustrated with the life that she lived in the Bhalla house.She wished to free herself from her unhappy life and pursue her happiness.Objectivism is a branch of philosophy that is completely against altruism.According to it, an individual' primary moral obligation is to achieve his/her wellbeing and that is the way to being truly happy. If Raman and his family were affected by Shagun' acts,isn't that their problem? Why should Shagun have spent all her life in misery when life offered her a chance to get away from what she felt was a mess?

@bold2 I completely agree with you here.Shagun might have been a bit more attached to Aditya than Ruhi.That is expected from her as she has has spent a lot more time raising him than Ruhi.But soon Ashok would be using Aditya against Raman and then all that Shagun would be doing is to keep mum and be a silent spectator.But yes she wont stop her determined efforts to convince Ashok to marry her! 😆

• Ruhi, a band-aid baby - an apt term. I am not sure about the part where she was conceieved at raman's insistence - in the book while it was mentioned that Raman wanted another child, what actually happened was that it was a quickie - have they shown that it was at Ramanm's insistence in the serial - can someone clarify?
• I agree, Raman has not been the best father in that after Shagun left he let him himself wallow in the rejection/revenge and dropped his responsibilites towards Ruhi just like Shagun. It was one thing that his mom looked after Ruhi but he neglected her emotional needs with his distancing behaviour with Ruhi. It is very hurtful to a child and has long reaching effects. Since then though he has shown the makings of a good father. Ishita in the confronting DNA conversation kind of pointed out that he was wallowing in his misery. Also he has picked a good mother for Ruhi
• Perfect analalogy: " He's like a fav toy to her, she likes playing with him occasionally but will not mind using him"

@aadk:

• I completely agree that Shagun cannot be judged for wanting what she wants. She is entitled, like everyone, to feel what she feels and want what she wants. It is what it is. If she is forced to change or made wrong about it, then she would be unhappy and make everyone else unhappy in the process.
• The part that is at issue is that she brought two children to life and has dropped her responsibilities. It is true that if Raman/family don't like her actions then it is their problem - they are adults who are able to and need to deal with the choice Shagun made. Unfortunately, Shagun has picked a bad father figure for Ruhi and Aditya and she is letting him make choices that are harmful to her children. In addition she has neglected both her children to some extent

It was not odd at all. I have been watching the show from the start n I saw Shagun always having the soft spot for adi. In fact she had spoiled him always n made him look down on his daddy highlighting his dad's financial limitations to him.

@ rainbowgirl

Great points. I think that you have understood Shagun's character well. I loved the term bandaid baby for Ruhi, and tend to agree with you that considering the fragile state of Raman and Shagun's marriage, this was the outcome where they tried to patch things up via another baby, but I would love to be shown the flashbacks to confirm this is the case.

@aadk

Very nice discussion between objectivism and altruism. That is a hard one. I think that people have the right to pursue happiness but not at the cost of others. In this case of Shagun and Ashok pursuing what they want the problem is that the ends justify the means.

@ heema

I agree with your points about the serious nature of parental responsibility, and the changing nature of Indian soaps that are now dealing with extra-marital affairs, whose brunt is more often than not borne by innocent children.

@omshreejanu

All that you say is true. I am not questioning that Shagun has a soft spot for Adi. This is understandable as you say, given the circumstances. What struck me as odd was that Shagun was shown to have no parenting skills with regard to, and total inability to relate with, Ruhi.

@ asha

Your last post summed up things so nicely. You have such a great way with words, and also with making all those who participated in the discussion included and welcome. Thank you.

Originally posted by: Heema22

I must say this first . You always make me think .great POV .

@ red

I don't approve Shagun behavior nor I support her extramarital affairs or her behavior towards her children. For most women, it's the one bond they'd never break .once you give to birth to a child , both parents are responsible for their well being and nurturing .otherwise use contraceptives.

.Mothers who abandon their children tend to be judged far more harshly by society, and by their children, than fathers who do the same though not because of outcome. Are children of absentee mothers are angrier than those of absentee fathers ?

Everyone of us have right to peruse happiness .Shagun was not happy with Ramen . Is Ashok's wealth making her happy ? Does she know what happiness is ? shagun is portrayal as very narcissistic women who is very empty ,looking for something better . while pursuing that happiness she is sacrificing her own children . She doesn't realize that It is the pursuit of happiness that makes her unhappy. Only time will tell if the sacrifice her offspring were forced to make by Ashoke will be worth it in the end.my answer is no big no .

I see this in Western culture more than Indian culture .There are also women who don't take naturally to motherhood. In the past, they would have stuck to it because the alternatives were few or zero. Now these mothers feel they do have a choice, and perhaps they feel society won't judge them as harshly as it would have done years ago. Now indian TV is imitating western culture with extramarital affairs . Mother abandoning her kids. Anything for money , selfish mothers ,, so we are stuck with Shagun and her games with Ashok .answer to your question yes Shagun has every right to pursue her happiness before birth of her children but after their birth and existence she needs to be mother first and try change her ways to look for different kind of happiness to fillful her unmet needs .

@all