Rather Odd

It was rather odd that Shagun was shown today as a normal mother with maternal feelings towards Aditya. She was shown to be able to bond with him, love him and also express the love through words and demonstrations of affection.

Why then was Shagun shown to be so clueless with regard to parenting Ruhi when she was with her. Shagun was shown to be more interested in spas and massages, being with Ashok, or going to outings rather than getting to know Ruhi. When she had no option but to be with Ruhi, Shagun was shown to be disinterested in her, preferring to leave the child with the nanny rather than trying to get to know her. At no time did we see Shagun showing any affection for Ruhi. For Shagun, Ruhi was a sort of a "problem child" for which she had to heavily rely on Ishita's help --a move that cost her dearly as she ended up losing Ruhi to Ishita.

Granted Ruhi did not know Shagun at all and was deeply unhappy at being displaced from her home. Whether or not Shagun could have won little Ruhi over with love is a moot point now, but the fact remains that she did not even try. Shagun appeared to be incapable of expressing love towards her daughter. Had her demeanor been the same with Aditya, I would have thought that Shagun was one of those women who consider children as an embellishment to them. It is not that they do not love their children, but they are way more interested in themselves than in anyone else. However, we find that Shagun connects to Aditya with an ease that she could never commandeer for Ruhi.

The question is why is this so? Is it the classic Freudian explanation of the Oedipal complex that makes it easier for fathers to relate to their daughters and mothers to their sons? Or was Shagun incapable of loving Ruhi because Ruhi reminded her of herself --strangely helpless, displaced, and victimized, a pawn of Ashok's games?

Thoughts and comments welcome

may be as they showed shagun is not interested to give birth to ruhi.its only because of ramans insisitence she gave birth to ruhi.as she dont want her so may be she dint developed anytype of connection with that child.so that she easily left a six month old child.i think.

Shagun is a great player

overall I find that some of the characters for this serial are inconsistent e.g. Shagun, Toshiji and sometimes Romi - they keep flip-flopping for no apparent reason.

Re: your last paragraph I more likely to believe

• the freudian explanantion and/or

• what was posted by serendipity. Adi is Shagun's first-born, a child of her own choosing and with who she had plenty of time to bond; Ruhi wasn't of her choosing, estranged from her till recently and besides she had gotten used to the lifestyle that Ashok's money afforded her.

• In this case, even though she said it to Adi, it wasn't like she was pining away for him. Ashok just plopped the surprise. She is also using him as pawn - previous flashback her praising Ashok and putting Raman down re: money
  

I have a hard time associating helpless or victimized with Shagun; but yes to strangely displaced and a pawn in Ashok's game. She has many times recognized Ashok is doing something inappropriate but chooses to raise a perfunctory protest and then sweeps it under the carpet.

I think she has gotten used to her new lifestyle and if she left Ashok she would be "Na Gali Ki, Na Ghat ki" in more than one respect especially within the indian society. She is shallow.

I hope at some point in the show, they show Shagun realizing what her choices have cost her

I should check this forum more often, it has some amazing, thought provoking writers like the TM!


This is my very first post here, so please bear with me. My take on Shagun is this--because she likes spas, saris and the trappings of wealth does not make her a terrible person--just a very shallow one. I don't think we can say she is a bad mother--her values are ones she has never hidden. What she values for herself--money, gifts, expensive stuff--that is what she teaches her son to value. She dispises her husband Raman, for not being able to give them material things. His love and kindness has never been something important to her---not when it is coupled with having to live on an income.

Originally posted by: ronshaan

Shagun is a great player

her love for adi is fake .. !!

👍🏼

First post napstermonster ? - I hope you do write more. Please don't keep us "vanchit" from your thoughts and the great way you write

• Damn straight again " I dont understand why the forum blames this kid as if he is the second coming of Satan" Adi has grown up with a twisted set of priorities because of the environment he has grown up in. Pre-teens are even more susceptible. While his behaviour is atrocious - that is what he is rewarded for by Shagun and more so Ashok - his sense of security comes from them. it doesn't excuse his atrocious behaviour but does help you understand it

• Re: Mrs Bhalla and Shagun - not quite sure. They have only shown her with Mrs Bhalla after the separation. Her holding her tongue could also be a case of Toshiji setting a boundary with her (eg outside courtroom) and her being left speechless. Shagun also to some extent knows when to stay quiet and when to talk in the sense that its futile to argue sometimes

• Re: Ruhi and her conception - actually now that I think about it - in the book, she was an accident due to a quickie. In show I am not sure if they have directly addressed it unless it was an epi I missed. I am not sure she was already in an affair with Ashok when Ruhi was conceived although Ashok implied as much and Shagun didn't set it straight
  

• you are absolutely right - too many children are brought into life as a solution to marital problems - the poor child ends up paying the price.
• love "She is proof that their marriage was irretrievably broken, she was not the solution but the final nail on the coffin"
  
• This one of the purposes of the book as well as the serial.
  

• however once Shagun made the choice to go ahead and have the child so, she hads a responsibility towards Ruhi

I would like to start off saying many thanks to two particular posts from eternalasha and napstermonster for delivering excellent and very profound posts

People in this forum are not against Adi, in fact some may even sympathise him. I think we as in most people in this forum feel protective with our most beloved characters such as Raman, Ruthi and Ishu that we don't want anyone who will come along destroy their happiness so characters like Adi does appear as a threat considering his pure dislike for his father.

Personally, I disliked Adi, yes (in summary) we know he is brainwashed by his mother. But at certain age Adi should know right and wrong principle. My point is the way Shagun had encouraged Adi to embrace Ashok made me suspicious that he probably knew his mother was in relationship with that man. But it's somehow justified to him since Ashok could provide money and wealth which his own father could not. Yes his mother played part too. By now he should know that is morally wrong. His father even desperately reached out to him with so much love that even an blind man could see, which he coldly rejected. At that moment he had lost all the respect from the viewers. Most decent people are taught to respect our parents and even when we disagreed with them, we need to be mindful to how we speak to our parents.

Adi went to one of best boarding school surely he should by now know how to behave and core values/principles. His teachers and friends must have taught or give an insight on principles. He should know that how he lie on the stand and behave to his father or the fact that his mother was in another relationship at the same time she was marriedwas wrong. So from now on whatever malice or kindness he behave toward his mother, father or Ruthi- he will need to take responsibility for his own actions.