datspreets thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 17 years ago
#1

Into the shadows

It's not possible, she can't be back! They told me she was dead, with ten bullets gutted deep in her soft flesh. A miracle, perhaps!

I ran through the familiar roads,-the lake where our eyes first met, the quaint shops where I bought her the anklets, the lane where we ate gol gappas- associative memories rush by in my mind. I did love her, only if…

'I'm here,' a soft, amorous voice filled my ears, and my feet and thoughts stopped in mid-run.

' I didn't see you, I was running….and you're back…..you look beautiful….and I…' I spoke through the panting, words refusing to halt.

'Shhhh...don't say a word,' she said cupping my mouth with her slender fingers, the long finger nails digging into my cheeks. 'Let's go into the woods, where it's just YOU- ME and our shadows.' I was in a daze- a certain fear and exhilaration-as I followed her unquestioningly into the woods.

The wind hustled, and the leaves rustled under our feet. Somewhere an owl hooted, maybe a bad omen? But she loved the sound of birds, owl or not! So maybe it's a good omen.

'Just kiss me, will you?' she begged, the minute we were out of the sight of prying eyes.

'I…I can't kiss you.…I…tho-u-ght you were…' I could kiss her, but not before getting some facts straight.

'Dead?' She laughed, finishing my question.

'Ya, I mean…'

'Do you love me?' She asked, pulling me close, till our breaths mingled- she was on a love making mission.

'I do' I replied kissing her urgently, while I clouded the need for facts. She was irresistible.

'For how long will you love me?'

'For more than an eternity…'I said kissing her longer and harder. Her eyes seemed calm and content. Man, she was pretty and now here she was, back in my arms….but something did not feel right? 'How did you come back?' I asked, before the curiosity got me killed.

'Does that matter now when I'm here again?'

'hmmmm…'

'Hmmm… is that all you want to say and ask? You don't want to know for how long I'll love you?' she asked with an intensity I'd never seen in my little girl before.

'Please tell me darling…'the newfound intensity melted the curiosity and my heart completely.

'I'll love you till our shadows last'

'Well... (pause)' I stopped the lip-flirting abruptly. 'That's an absurd thing to say! I thought you'd say something more…. (pause) romantic!'I chuckled, despite the fiery mood.

'Is it? Isn't there's romanticism in absurdity?'

'Ya…but our shadow always last, until our last heart beat, or so they claim!' I argued, 'And If you look closely,' I added pulling her to a vacant patch where our shadows could form, 'We can see both the shadows…...NO, just o-n-e shadow…'

The lone shadow did the same movements as I me.

'I can't see your shadow…' I looked back at her, slowly, for nothing felt right anymore.

'See, what you've done to me, conspiring with the villagers....even my shadow fails me' She lifted her shoulders slightly, and let them drop. Her voice was distinctly calm, just like an ocean before the storm.

(526 words)

Created

Last reply

Replies

3

Views

1.1k

Users

4

Likes

1

Frequent Posters

Morgoth thumbnail
21st Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 17 years ago
#2
Hey Preeti, good to see you again =)

Interesting concept you have here. I like the open-ended tension in the last line.

However, I think the story would be better if you gave some hints as to why he betrayed her, etc. Flesh out the story more; make it a little more detailed. Right now, as a reader, I can't connect to the characters.
*Nishi* thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 17 years ago
#3

wow preeti ! this is a gr88 story ! will be waiting for more 😉


Edited by *~Sapna~* - 17 years ago
legallyzoya thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#4
wow preethi! 👏 👏 👏
awesome!!!!!!!!
seriosuly ...i aunt gettin better words!!!

Related Topics

Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems Thumbnail

Posted by: Pixiepixel11

7 months ago

The ink of shadows-OS-(Historical)

Genre-Historical Short story. The Ink of Shadows It was a crisp autumn morning when Payal found the letter, buried under a pile of yellowing...

Expand ▼
Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".