Poem:: Sunset's Whisper!!!

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Posted: 14 years ago

Heya All!!

I went with my friends to the beach a couple days ago... and seeing the sunset and standing a li'l in the waters..... I suddenly got this idea....

I consider myself to be a horrible poet .... So all your criticism is welcomed..... And do hit the LIKE tab if you like the poem!!

Sunset's Whisper

Listen to the sunset

Can you hear its quiet sigh?

Listen the sun's falling;

Watch it toning down the sky

Soon Darkenss shall surround me

Tho' twinkling stars will dare smile through

While you are far away from me

They'll frown a humble hue

And as the sunset spread its colors

Horizons of gold and red

I lie here all too much alone

In this great, vast chilling bed

For my world has stopped revolving

Till you return, Time's Standing still

And the cold has settled around me

With its stinging breathless chill

But my love for you keeps growing

Standing fast to fight the cold

Reminds me of your body's warmth

And the story of love untold

So listen to the sunset

Look up hear its quiet sigh

Tho' we're apart these lonely nights

My love whispers across the sky.

So what do you think about it people??.... Do comment...

And this poem is dedicated to one of my best online friends NIDHI ... Its her birthday tomorrow!

Wish you a happy birthday Nidzi ... <3

Love ya!

Sharmi

Edited by -Sharmila- - 14 years ago

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

*Edited*

And you say you're a horrible poet, right! And who am I then - alien? 🤓 Alright on serious notes, this is one of the best poems I've ever read. My pieces of poetry are subjected outta monotony and hence I never keep in mind the poetic devices and everything. But your work's a perfect poem, unlike mine. Lovely poetic scheme, beautiful words used and the true feeling of the poem kept intact till the very end. You see, people usual deviate from the topic they write over like myself - ending up with something we just dint intend to write.

A beautiful poem, indeed. You're way more expressive than I'd thought you to be. =]

-Kankshita

Edited by -Kanky- - 14 years ago

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Megha

@IndigoBlues

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

You're not a horrible poet..i could really visualize the sunset and the narrator of the poem just standing there...looking sadly..or maybe it was just my vivid 😍 😆 if you write any more...do PM me...😊

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BIackSwan

@BIackSwan

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

ok so firstly, WHO CALLS U A HORRIBLE POET?!?! i wanna smack dat person in to two cz ur an amazin poet with gifted talent!!!! seriously choti sis, im in awe of ur fab work..... especially cz i LOVE poetry and literature....

i love dese two lines...

Tho' twinkling stars will dare smile through

While you are far away from me

for some weird reason while readin ur poem i imagined aditi gupta our heer in da beach waitin for harshu, our prem 😍😍😍 i guess i miss dem too much....

awesome stuff lil sis plssssssss write more......

big hug 🤗

Edited by NaDzGirl - 14 years ago

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BIackSwan

@BIackSwan

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

oops double post sorry....😳

Edited by NaDzGirl - 14 years ago

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Edited:

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1517015&PID=35214443&#35214443

And . . happy birthday to Nidhi! 🤗

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Shalini

@shalini01

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

correct that horrible poet.you're really good. loved it.and that picture is amazing.really beautiful.do post more.

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Dilbole_ShiOmRu

@Dilbole_ShiOmRu

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

Wow beautiful poem really loved it do write more

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-CreativeSoul-

@-CreativeSoul-

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

ok first u tell me from which angle are u a horrible poet?😕

that was simlp amazing

it was expressive

full of emotions and feelings

really a wonder full poem

listen to the sunset its saying

that we've got a poet between us

who is amazing.....

really a awsome poem👍🏼

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497410

Suspended

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: -Kanky-
*Edited*

And you say you're a horrible poet, right! And who am I then - alien? 🤓 Alright on serious notes, this is one of the best poems I've ever read. My pieces of poetry are subjected outta monotony and hence I never keep in mind the poetic devices and everything. But your work's a perfect poem, unlike mine. Lovely poetic scheme, beautiful words used and the true feeling of the poem kept intact till the very end. You see, people usual deviate from the topic they write over like myself - ending up with something we just dint intend to write.

A beautiful poem, indeed. You're way more expressive than I'd thought you to be. =]

-Kankshita

Thank you sooooo much Kankshita!! Sucha huge comment from you!! .... *on cloud 9*

Who said urs are not perfect! ... aakhir tumhari wajeh se hi toh maine likhna shuru kiya!!

Yours are something much more than perfect!

But thank you so much!.... I feel i've definitely improved! .... 😳