Something I've learnt from Waaris and several other dramas

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#31

Good point Delia. I just don't like this emphasis on name and surname. I mean what if a child is born out of wedlock? Then that child is termed najayaz. This happens because we stress on names. If the focus stayed on someone's work then there would no taboo regarding someone not having a surname or father's name.

Edited by Ash.raje17 - 8 years ago

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#32

Maybe bit of naive thinking on my part, but still I believe that if we allow work to speak for itself then it might be more fair.

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QueenKordeilia

@QueenKordeilia

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#33

I'm not really sure what you mean by work. I mean, people have surnames from their time of birth. It takes time to establish oneself in their career. A woman could establish herself as say Jane Smith in the financial industry but then become Jane Doe. Changing surnames just feels like a hassle. Like all of your exam certificates and other achievements are in one name and then...

Like I said, to me it would just feel like losing myself. Also, my mother, grandmothers and so on kept their names because it simply isn't in out culture to change them.

But each to their own, I guess.

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#34

Well luckily your culture supports this thinking. I come from a background where even the thought of not changing my name after marriage makes me badass girl. And not many people will take kindly to it. I guess since childhood I was conditioned that I will eventually have to change my name. And that would be hard to change. I guess might end up doing it, not because I am too weak to stand up to the society but because I don't think my name defines me.

On my blog no one knows what my real name is. They call me wanderer. They might know that I am a girl but that's about it. But that does not stop them from appreciating my posts. My blog is based on my work speaking on my behalf. No one needs to know my name or where I come from or what my religion is or what my beliefs are. I am not talking about giving up names completely. I know your name is father's name and your surname is essential on certificates and other documents. But I am saying that those legal documents are a necessity, you can't change that.

Here, on our forum if we had not revealed our names we would have never known each others names. But despite not knowing each others names we were still commenting, appreciating the FanFiction and supporting each other. You guys still don't know what my real name is. But does that bother you? Does that stop you from interacting with me? No it doesn't. Because names are irrelevant. Tomorrow if I change my username, it would not mean that I have changed. I Would Still Be Me. And you would continue to interact with me in a similar.

But deliya as you said to each his own. I truly appreciate and admire your fierce stand that you will not change your name post marriage. That is admirable.

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QueenKordeilia

@QueenKordeilia

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#35

After moving to the UK, my dad insisted my mum should change her surname to his. Not because he wanted to adopt British culture on anything like that (he's actually against that) but he hates people calling him Mr X when he's actually Mr Y e.g. when someone calls looking for my mum but my dad picks up. My mum, however, scowls whenever an Asian Muslim girl changes her surname because all marriages don't last forever, people get remarried, and it's just not what our culture/religion dictates.

And oh, that's what you mean by work. I thought you meant in a workplace where you see people face to face and therefore they kinda find out what your name is anyway.

I completely get what you're saying. You're still you if you change your name the same way I'm still me if I get married.

BTW, thanks. I'd actually face criticism from my mother (and maybe father) if I wanted to change my surname. But I prefer not to so that aspect of my culture just suits me.

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The.Wanderer

@The.Wanderer

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#36

I really love these discussions that we have with each other. They give us insight into each other's thinking. Lets us understand each other. And the best part? We don't know each other. We still connect because of our thoughts. And that is amazing.

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Something I've learnt from Waaris and several other dramas - Page 4

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