How is ichcha worng ?

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dolly

@tiny15

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: akruz
From what the update i have read, it feels like its high time Veer forgave Ichcha...Ok agreed that Ichcha was in tension, but that doesnt mean u should behave in such a way to ur husband. She didnt even wait for his answer and started criticizing him for dropping Kanha with Avinash...I also do think that Veer shouldnt have tested Ichchas patience like this during such a situation and should have said in the beginning itself that Kanha is also back...moreover as someone rightly said, Veer should have allowed Ichcha to hold the baby and talk to her later in private about his feelings and the pain that he felt...he could even have stopped talking to her for few days to make her realize the frustration that he went through...

But Veer remaining Veer, i am sure its just a matter of couple of days before he fights with Mai for her chudail waali behaviour to Ichcha once again...That worthless woman doesnt even realize that it is because of Ichcha that she remains in that house..pathetic people...But i am sure Veer wont disappoint..hum Ichcha thode hai jo veer ka vishwas na kare...😳

i agree wid each of ur word!! i agree iccha shud'd atleast asked abt kanha & then said sumthing 2 veer!!

and i agree if veer stop talking 2 her 4 few days so that iccha shud realize her fault of not telling veer abt getting threats or 4 blaming him.but they don't've any right 2 stop a mother 2 take her child in her lap!!

really these bundelas r not worth of gud ppl. even umed & veer r disappointing. veer only saw his mother wid strange luk but didn't say anything wen mai said "i m his mother & grandmother"!!🤢🤢🤢

and really mai doesn't deserve any1 s 4giveness.she'd convienently 4got that bcoz of iccha shes in the house!!🥱🥱

thank god i m not watching this show from that mahaepis day!!i just overheard as my mother was watching it in oder room & saw the end scene while watching the oder show!!🥱

Edited by tiny15 - 13 years ago

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: vijrati
Tinoo, all your posts were excellently written. Wondering why Iccha continues to behave like this? Could it be because of her own upbringing, as Iccha was given all the comforts in Jogi household on a free platter and she herself was an adopted child of Jogi? Iccha had no problems using the Bundelas resources to look after Kanha and Mukhta as she herself relates to them...

vijrati -- I think the key difference between ichcha and kanha and mukta is that jogi was willing to do this ...not only willing but enthusiastic about doing it for ichcha. And he genuinely saw ichcha as equivalent to his own child. Also he was the owner of the whole house and business and it was his choice.

The bundelas are reluctant and resent these two children. They feel that these two children have been forced down their throats. These children living in the house have no equivalence unless they are blood relatives. Kanha and Mukta can live there until they are 30 years old, and one day if a 23 year old stranger boy walked in and said "Hi I am yuvraj. I just had a DNA test and they say that I am your blood line child" then the bundelas would automatically fall in love with yuvraj.

Here ichcha is not the home owner or the resource owner -- yes she is the daughter in law (in a legal sense) but none of this is her own earned income -- and the home is not her earned home. Consequently, it is really daddaji's choice what he wants to do with his property.

I think there is a difference between taking from people who are happy to give -- and those who resentfully give by making you feel they are doing charity.

Also, ichcha and damini had (and still have) a great relationship of respect and trust for jogi to this day. The human relationship between the two is still there.

Here the bundelas and ichcha have this relationship based on insults and hiding and taunts and deception.

So I dont understand that when the relationship is not there, and the people who are the owners of the resources are abusive, then why to continue their living there with the two children?

Edited by tinoo - 13 years ago

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Anu_j

@Anu_j

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: tinoo
So I dont understand that when the relationship is not there, and the people who are the owners of the resources are abusive, then why to continue their living there with the two children?

The only reason I can think of why Iccha continues to live with the Bundelas and forgive them for their behavior is to maintain the Joint family system and values. To get their love and all the shared resources, Iccha has to live with the Bundelas according to their house rules, but to maintain her core values, respect and dignity she has to move out and and live with Veer independently. There are sacrifices and benefits in both the joint family system and nuclear family setup and Iccha cannot have it both ways.

Edited by vijrati - 13 years ago

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newvee

@newvee

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#44

@Tinoo awesome yar. Feel like pressing like button 100 times. so many valid points. in fact i was fed up with all those posts sympothising with iccha and blaming veer and family. Even i was disappointed with behaviour yday. still i can understand why he is behaving like this. His was hurt, he was insulted and he was cheated. i can understand why mai is behaving like this. She was irritated with icchas stupis decisions. i can understan why umed has stood against iccha. because he loved like a daughter and always supported her still she hide such an important fact from them and doesnot confife in his son for whom iccha is his life. I can even understand that dumbo divya, evil nani, confused tapasya and gfn pushkar. But i am still unable to understand iccha. always at the extremes.whenever she gets a chance to show her mahanta by standing for the wrong people she will not miss it. And whenever she gets a chance to hurt those who stand for her, she will not miss that either.

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501272

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

#45

@ tinoo...

After going through all your posts, I must say I beg to differ from you except for one or two points you have made.

First let me point out where I agree with you..😊

1) Ichcha's going to Avinash's house was not right.

Exactly my view.. Ichcha's going to Avinash's house with Mukta and agreeing to impersonate the old man's daughter-in-law was an antithesis, not conforming to her character portrayed in the show till then. I feel the CVs, in their over enthusiasm to show how noble she was to take an abandoned child in her wings when she herself was destitute and did not have anywhere to go, showed that Ichcha felt it was okay to go to the old man's house because she was tricked by Avinash into believing that she was helping an old man to die in peace after seeing Mukta as his grand daughter and it was only for two days. There I felt that they spoiled her character because by doing this she would deprive the rightful heir of the old man his/her property and so she was following a wrong step for what she thought was a noble deed, which it was not, and I had written about it then also for her taking a wrong stand. Of course the CVs have not been consistent with the portrayal of almost all the characters and many factors like actors' availability, etc., has guided the story line.

2) She should not have left Mukta and Kanha in the unwilling Mai's and Chanda's care whenever she went out.

Agreed again.. She should have employed some baby sitters for this purpose.

3) She should have left the B house with Veer long back with out remaining with the Bundelas whose ideas clash with those of hers.

Agreed..😊

Now the points where I differ from you..😊

1) You have written that Ichcha insists on living in the B house for the comforts and luxurious life.

a) When Ichcha was living with the Jogis she was not leading a luxurious life and she and her mom were working in that house and earning their living.

b) When Vansh died she did not hesitate to follow the strict widow rituals in spite of being surrounded by comforts and went away to Brindavan and followed severe austerity.

c) When she ran away from Avinash's house, she was working as a sales girl during full advanced pregnancy to support Kanha and Mukta and she never approached the Bundelas for a comfortable life in spite of knowing that they would have welcomed her with open arms because of her pregnancy.

d)After her marriage with Veer when he wanted to leave the house she said that Mai had already lost one son and that she would break if she lost the second son also and not because of her love for the Bundela riches.

e) Due to her extreme unbelievable forgiving nature she forgave Mai for all her crimes with the mistaken notion that parents are to be respected and tolerated even when they commit unthinkable atrocities in order to hold the joint family system together. Because of her stupidity, she does not know when to call it quits. Many ladies, be it daughter-in-law or mom-in-law, try their level best to live together in the most abusive circumstances just in order to hold on to their relationships. This is a fact in the Indian joint family system.

2) You have written that Ichcha is using the riches of the reluctant Bundelas to uphold her ideals which clash with theirs.

a) She never asked Veer to adopt Mukta. Veer voluntarily did it as some gift to her. Writing the property in Mukta's name was also Veer's idea, which was opposed by Daddaji.

b) Kanha is not some pauper, but is the heir to a vast fortune and Ichcha is his legal guardian. She can take care of him with his resources till he attains age. I cannot understand why the CVs are showing him as though he is some poor orphan living in their mercy and being ill treated by Mai. It was shown that he was accepted by Daddaji and Umed.

c)Veer is not some freeloader like Pushkar in the B house. He is the only heir and is the best businessman of the year and Ichcha is his wife. As such, she is entitled to spend money with her husband's concurrence. The wives of big businessmen have many charities in their names and she can easily provide for two kids. If she were after their comforts and money, she would have been enjoying spa and dancing classes and buying diamonds in exhibitions like Taps. Nothing wrong in that either😆. But she is only taking care of two helpless children with her husband's resources and approval. Even if she leaves the B house, Veer can give her and their kids a decent life style.

3) You have written that Ichcha might never have revealed that Yuvi is her son had it not come out in the open and would have let him remain in Rathore's house to avoid discrimination between the kids.

This is just speculation and not shown in the show. Of course I agree that there is no logic in this show and the CVs will do any twist to get TRPs😆. Who knows, they might take your idea and show it as they are known to have taken ideas from the forum😆.

This is entirely my POV from what I have understood from this show. You are entitiled to your views and I absolutely respect that..😃

Edited by hermione8 - 13 years ago

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: hermione8

Now the But she is only taking care of two helpless children with her husband's resources and approval. Even if she leaves the B house, Veer can give her and their kids a decent life style.

Hermione8,

this is the crux of my thought processes. When veer can give her and their kids a decent lifestyle, then why doesnt she leave the B house ?

It would only make sense for her to stay in a joint family structure when there is mutual love and respect between her and her inlaws. When that isnt there, and it is just a relationship with the bundela seniors is based on insults, and distrust, then why stay under their roof?

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#47

and furthermore, why is there a need to live there and have kanha and mukta grow up with emotional and psychological abuse from mai (who is explicit) and daddaji (who is not explicit but his actions speak louder than words)? Are the adopted children not entitled to live a life in a home where they feel valued and respected?

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501272

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: tinoo

Hermione8,

this is the crux of my thought processes. When veer can give her and their kids a decent lifestyle, then why doesnt she leave the B house ?

It would only make sense for her to stay in a joint family structure when there is mutual love and respect between her and her inlaws. When that isnt there, and it is just a relationship with the bundela seniors is based on insults, and distrust, then why stay under their roof?

Yes tinoo, this is the point no.3 which I have agreed with you whole-heartedly. Ichcha fails to recognize when a relationship is dead and is holding on to it in the mistaken idea that it is a sin to separate Veer from his mom, but not realizing that in the process, she is harming her adopted kids, bringing them up in a hostile atmosphere. In trying to make her too noble, the CVs end up portraying her only as utterly stupid and dumb.

Edited by hermione8 - 13 years ago

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bips

@bips

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 13 years ago

#49

ummm ... ichcha has never "not liked" the bundelas ... ever! ... she has always respected everyone's decisions ... gotten along despite everything they put her through ... Bundelas have always had a selfish relationship with ichcha ... she loves veer, they think she is downmarket - rejected ... drug addicted vansh wants her - accepted ... tapasya is to have the have the waaris of the house - rejected ... now she is the one pregnant - accepted ... she doesn't want to have kids - rejected ... she forgives maiyee for her crimes - accepted

As for the other point of using bundela's "resources" ... In practical life that might me the case but in the serial ichcha has never shown to have any particular affinity to money/cars/mansions/servants ... She never stopped veer from leaving because she wanted the comforts of the bundela house . She always made him stay because she did not want the family to break up. I thought she was stupid to the max. She was always irritatingly martyr like but never materialistic. So lets not assign nefarious motives to her to suit our analysis.

Her decisions were always wrong but not for the reasons you have given tinoo. I don't say that she is not at fault, or that his right, or that she is not foolish. She is all that, but not for the reasons you said

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#50

Hi bips:

It appears that I have offended you with my point of view, and for that I am truly sorry. I have valued and enjoyed our interactions on the balika vadhu forum (particularly my gratitude thread where you made some great contributions that gave me insights).

With reference to your above previous post:

Your question was "How is ichcha wrong?" (the title of the thread)

I am answering that particular question -- and will recap my previous posts in a concise manner.

Ichcha is not wrong in equality of yuvraj vs. kanha.

I do feel that she is very wrong in keeping quiet about the yuvraj kidnapping scenario ... and I feel that if she has this particular moral standard of not trading kanha for yuvraj, then she should have spoken up about it to the bundelas and stood up for this core value of hers (equality of adopted child vs. biological child)... and then she should have displayed a willingness to walk out of the house and live alone with kanha if the bundelas opposed it.

Be bold and support whatever moral standard you have, is what I feel. Have the courage of conviction to support your stand.

I dont feel that she should say "this is my stand and i am going to keep quiet about it".

That to me is cowardice.

As far as ichcha not being materialistic goes -- I am sorry but I dont agree.

Materialisticness has a wide range of points.

She may not be as materialistic as tapasya (in terms of diamonds and spas) but she is definitely materialistic in terms of basic comforts.

Tell me, did she used to take the bus to rathore's home, standing up in a crowded bus or did she go in the bundela car with the bundela chauffeur to bf rathore's child (that too without telling any of the bundelas including veer ?) She uses bundela resources for her own ends.

I am not saying that she is an avid gold digger ... but I reiterate my point... she was silent because she didnt trust the bundelas ... which means there is no relationship there between her and them... and consequently, I personally dont see any reason for her living there any more. What for you live there when you dont trust the people and they get you raped and stuff? It has to be for the resources.

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