Another wonderful post from the most wonderful writer of our forum...who just weaves magic through her posts,and just taking cue from her words,,,,just make us FEEL the FEELING called SUKOR.
Sumi,that was an episode we all have been longing,and that one "chheee,,," ,,,said it allcoz the way he said it,that feeling of shame and yuckiness that Suraj was feeling for himself,reflected the turmoil that was going on inside him.
and that...final part of the episode,where the PALACE was experiencing the solace,resting her head on the shoulder of her HOME,THEREBY calming him,really healed me as a Sukorian
and once again both Sukor individually stood out for me...
talking about Chakor,whatever happened with the pure soul was beyond the feeling of disgust as for a woman,her respect is more important than her life...and that too for a woman like Chakor,the woman who has made herself emerging a winner through all the her hardships...I remember when she was leaving the haveli,and Suraj was stopping her[at the time when Suraj has himself agreed that he he cheated on her,with her sis,and was fathering a child],,,at that time,Chakor used the word,,,,"her self-respect",and left the house,and even Suraj could'nt stop her,as he could never disrespect her in any way...and Suraj has always respected Chakor's self-respect more than anything...so how could he himself,do the most dastardly act on her...tearing her soul into pieces
BUT WHAT STOOD OUT FOR ME,WAS THE THING...THAT HOW EASILY CHAKOR FORGAVE SURAJ,FOR EVEN SHE KNEW THAT HE WAS NOT HER SURAJ,WHILE DOING SO...FOR THAT DAY,I SAW GUILT IN CHAKOR AS WELL...GUILT FOR NOT BEING WITH SURAJ,ALL THESE FIVE YEARS,THAT TURNED HIM THIS,AND WHEN SHE TENDED TO HIS WOUND,SHE INFACT FORGAVE HERSELF AS WELL...
"Kiski shaano pe woh ashkon ko bahaata hoga...baad mere kahaa shaamein bitaata hoga...
Jab log puchhte honge mere baare mein ussye...na jaane kaise-kaise bahaane woh banaata hoga,,!!!"
[whose shoulders he would have been using,for shedding his tears all this while...after me,how would he would have spent his evenings..
when people would have asked him,about me...what ways he would have used to convince them]..
And now,the lawyer comes to her client...my Suraj
"AABAAD MUJHME,TERE SIVA BHALAA AUR KAUN RAHAA...
TUJHSE BICHHAD KE BHI...MAIN TUJHE KHO NA SAKAA"
[none could live inside me,without you...even when i was distanced from you,i never lost you]
for whoever was present in front of us...was not Suraj from any angel,from any perspective,and this fact is becoming even more clearer,since Suraj has regained his memory,as we all have now come to know...who is exactly Suraj...
but this Suraj...actually Chakor's Suraj...is even unable to forgive his own corpse,who only had his face,for his immoral sin.
coz what he was experiencing,was even beyond the feeling of shame or disgust,coz that day Suraj's living corpse had teared Chakor's soul into pieces,and that realization has butchered Suraj's soul into pieces...
and did Suraj,even for once asked and apology from Chakor???
not for even once...
AS ASKING AN APOLOGY WAS NEVER A SURAJ RAJVANSHI TRAIT...as SR never says a sorry,when he realizes that he is wrong,he always does something even more greater...
but this time,for the first time ever SR wanted to punish himself...for he had disrespected his epitome of respect,the deity,he used to worship...
and he was filled with even more remorse and humiliation inside,when inspite of his sin,Chakor came and tended to his wound,when he realized,how much wrong he has done all these months,how could he forget everything,and hurt her every second...
He had himself expressed his insecurity and given to her,his photograph,,,fearing that she might forget him,,,,,and he himself forgot her...
"MAIN TOH EK HI KASAM NIBHAANE SE HAAR GAYA...TUIMHE TOH MERI HAR KASAM DEKAR HAZAARON NE LUTAA"
[I failed to keep,even one promise of mine...and you were tested by everyone at each step,through my promises]
but at the moment,they both once made peace with each other,for not being with each other...as one wound became the medicine for other...
and that was the episode...after the Mahashivratri night,when sukor once again HEALED EACH OTHER FOR THEIR RESPECTIVE SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS