Chapter 6 The hug
She never wanted to be rude to her parents , there was a guilt feeling which kept on touching her , perhaps she may appear have changed to all but she knew inside she was the same innocent Chakor who wants to hug her mother and cry but that phase were a past which will never return, She lovingly picked her daughter placing her on a table seated , in a plate she served food for both and fed her allowing Avya to take small spoon to her mother's lips they were both unaware of the eyes that din't blink away from them
Suraj found a smile reach his lips, they seemed happy , a lot happier than he was , he left the chance to be with them to be with Imli but what was he doing right now? Running away from Imli because he was too angry for the words she had said to Chakor , he was confused of it all , Was love supposed to be like this?? When he fell for Imli he only dreamt about being with her , having her in his arms , listening to her blabbering all day long but now all of that seemed unworthy
He din't feel that way anymore , was what he felt for Imli simply a crush?? had he risked it all for an immature attraction , his brother Vivaan no more talked to him and as Chakor said it were because of his selfishness , he din't realize what will his and Imli's relationship cause to his relationship with his brother , but Vivaan did define it as betrayal
He felt suffocated in the room , all were happy , cheerful except him , he was buried under a load of guilt
He walked towards a corner and heard few ladies talk
"Hey wasn't that kasturi's daughter???"
"Oh yes it was Chakor , i heard some guy impregnant her and left her"
Suraj looked the ladies angrily before looking at his surrounding wondering if Chakor was near but damn his luck , she was and he was sure she could hear the gossipings yet she made a straight face as if she was numb to all of it 'din't it anger her?'
"I even heard she din't know the name of his kids father, such a pity huh and i thought she was a nice girl"
That's it , he stepped infront of the ladies making his presence known to them
"Seriously??? You are standing here in my sister's ring Ceremony and insulting her guest!!!!" he yelled attracting others attention , how dare they??? It was all his fault , all his fault people were ill talking about Chakor ,who better than him know that Chakor was pure , he was the one who was the jerk
The ladies stood red with embarassment infront of Suraj , "You can stop us but you can't deny everything we said" she said
"Yes i can , i can deny everything you said because the proof is right here, infront of all of us , the girl who raised her child soo brightly can't be titled as what you have been making up in a corner and yes i shouldn't say this but you should first get a background check before running shits about someone who bravely took up her responsibility and is in today's day far more successful than you'll ever be or wait you will Never be" He gritted between his teeth , he could almost feel his adrenaline pump high , he was angry at himself , angry at Imli angry at those people
All his words were heard by everyone including Bhagya , chakor and Imli , all three wondered shockingly why he was taking Chakor's side
Chakor did hear the ladies word but she was least bothered by it , close one mouth and a 100 more will open so why bother? as long as she knew what she was who cares what rest think but what Suraj did was surprising unfortunately for him it wasn't surprising enough to impress her
The ladies shamefully made their way out of the crowd mumbling incoherent words under their breath
He looked at Chakor who still had the same facial expression , she turned her face away from him to his daughter who happily played with the other kids
The ring ceremony was done , nobody talked about the incident,she lulled her baby to sleep but she couldn't bring herself to sleep ,perhaps it'd take her some time to adapt to the change of time
She grabbed her night robe slip it over her nighty and walked outside to the balcony , looking at the moon
She wasn't sorry for what her life had turned into , she loved her daughter but she couldn't help but think what if things had happened in it's perfect timeline , what'd her life be today?
She turned as she heard loud footstep
Everytime he would close his eyes he would hear those people's words , it haunted him to no bounds , he had had his fair share of sleepless night in past and his ritual would be a walk to the balcony but he'd avoid gazing at the moon because it would always remind him of Chakor's face under the moonlight shade , the very time they commited that mistake
Finding the very same Chakor in the balcony under the same moonlight was not something he planned and her shocked face showed neither she did
She turned her face away moving to leave the space to Suraj knowing she had a very unstable state of mind at that moment
"I am sorry" He said quickly halting her steps , it wasn't a planned apology but he did intend to say it earlier , he just couldn't bring it out
She wasn't certain if her ears heard the right thing , Suraj said sorry??? , she couldn't help but asked "for what???" It was meant to be a simple phrase but it turned out harsh but this time he wouldn't quit , he wouldn't let his ego win over the right thing
"For everything Chakor , for having had backed out the time you needed me , for having had asked you to...ask you to get rid of Avya" He swallowed the painful feeling which burnt his throat as he said those words
"hmm a sorry?? Thats it? Or perhaps answering a few people in my favor were enough for you to earn my sorry" she said bitterly for some mistakes sorry just doesn't feel the right word , if anything it sounded as if anybody could do anything and cash it with just a sorry?
"Chakor i din't ..."
"No Suraj , you think taking my side infront of those people would make any difference to my opinion about you? No it will not because those peoples word din't affect me at all , they were strangers free to run their mouth about anything , it would have had made a difference if you would have had spoke up the day my parents were thinking bad about me when my sister was talking bad about me" For the first time in 4 years she spoke what she actually felt without the calm stature she had always mask over , this time she would use her emotions as her strength
"I suffered in guilt for 4 years too Chakor , i regret having stayed quiet but please try to put yourself in myshoes and see how it felt at that time" He wanted badly she out of all people to understand him , he din't know anything about Chakor heck before that incident they had the worst hate story so he din't know how he was suppose to interprete himself for her understanding
"You suffered in guilt Suraj???? want to know what i suffered? i survived in a foreign country , accepted any apartment i was given , and it was one without a lift , i had to walk 4 floors stairs , worst whenever people asked me about my boyfriend or husband i had no answer the judgeful eyes i was given were far beyond any embarassment , or perhaps when i used to go on my monthly appointment alone , watching all the would be mothers with either their boyfriend husband fiancee or family members , i went through the sonography experience without having anyone to share my happiness when they'd tell me i was expecting a girl, or perhaps when during the mid of the night i craved for something but my feet were too swollen for me to go and get it , i sat on the bed vulnerable no one to complain to , the first time i felt Avya's kick , no one by my side to feel them and be happy for me , no one suraj these are just little example , there are still soo many like when i had to fill Avya's birth certificate and still leave her father's name untitled and you say your guilt was enough suffering???????" She ranted angrily pouring out each and every emotions would struggled to come out of her , she suddenly felt knees growing weak , her eyes were teary but she knew she wouldn't break down , not again
He din't realize the drop of tear which slipped from his eyes as he could imagine her in all those situation she described, he couldn't curse himself enough, it felt a storm of guilt within him
He din't know when he approached her and wrapped his arms around her he could feel his heartbeat against hers , her soothing fragance filling his nostril, after 4 years he could feel himself feeling at peace , he never wanted to unwrap his arm ,just stay right there , his face in her hairs
She was still when she felt his arms her eyes were teary , it felt as if he was trying to support her ,she calmly pulled herself together pushing him away from her ...breaking the hug breaking his trance of peacefullness along
"I don't need your support Suraj , unfortunately when i did needed it i never got it , you know suraj , like any other girl even i dreamt after finding a suitable career i will find a guy who will love me for myself , who after falling in love will propose me will marry me we'd have those beautiful moments and then hav kids as sign of our love but i even compromised with my dreams and i had asked you to only co-parent with me knowing maybe my dreams will never be accomplish if i went with the pregnancy , i'd never ask you to marry me , you failed the only support i pleaded once from you , now i don't need anything , not even your sorry" She wiped her tears leaving the balcony
Her outburst did calm her mental state but it worsened Suraj's one , tears escaped from his eyes on it's own , something was breaking and hurting badly inside of him but he din't know what , he wanted to stop the overflow of tears , boys did not cry , he shouldnot cry but it wasn't stopping , the rain began pouring wetting him, still he held neither any strength nor stop his tears
He knelt down roaring screaming his pain out hoping something would soothe it but his roars were drown under the loud thundering sound
'He was bad but he never wished it to happen , he was scared , he was selfish , he din't want to lose his father's trust , he didn't want to lose Imli's love , he din't know even Chakor was losing a lot a thing when she agred for the child , when she took up her share of responsibility along with his , he felt disgusted towards himself, that little angel's happy face clueless about how her father behaved at her arrival and Chakor a few moment ago when he touched her pulled her in his arms he felt a temporary peaceful feeling after 4 years something which even imli couldn't do inspite of her always whispering love words while being in his embrace
He was going crazy , his head was throbbing with all this , he had to get himself a break
The next morning she had the same schedule set , spend some time kissing loving her angel getting her ready for the day , but she'd have an important meeting for her office arrangement
She walked downstairs with Avya in her arms , she chattering constantly about her dream of last night to her mother , she looked at the breakfast table , everything were same but there were no Suraj , not that it mattered to her , but yesterday when he'd apologized she hadn't expected to have the emotional outburst she did , it was written all over his face that he was guilty but she just couldn't forgive him , she knew Suraj was immature how he'd bully her in past but she was hoping better from him when she told him about her pregnancy. Last night she wanted to return his embrace since he was the only one after Bhagya who knew the truth clear and crystal , she wanted to open up and cry for those 4 years she spent alone but how could she? Suraj was still the stranger he was when she had first met him and she had also grown up to understand expectation leads to dissappointment
She laughed as Bhagya again shoved her wedding card at her face
"I am getting married in 2 weeks" She repeated again cheerfully
"I know you repeated the same thing more than 10 times silly" She smiled sickly at her bestfriend who rolled her eyes at her in response
More than a week had passed , Chakor was more than happy to have decided to be in india , her bestfriend by her side , even Bhagya's parents had bonded well with her and Avya , it was Bhagya's sangeet in the evening and she was still arguing with her princess who decided to throw a tauntrum about how she wanted to again wear same kinda clothes like her mother , she'd try to get customized it by the tailor but she said shebcouldn't in such less time ,Chakor was never a fussy baby but she had a clear idea from where her daughter's adamant behavior came from
The angry princess left the room poutingly leaving her mother huffing behind , 'handling a kid was not easy'
Suraj returned back home after 9 days , he had went to his farmhouse for his well needed break , Chakor and avya arrival not only increased his guilt for having forsaken the two 4 years ago but it also made him doubt what his life were turning into , doubt about his feelings for Imli , having stayed alone away from even his phone , these 9 days did confirm one thing to him though , he had missed seeing his family and avya but he din't miss Imli inspite of his so many claims about him being in love with her , he'd even spend his time thinking about Chakor the more he thought the more he admired her , but Imli's idea came only in his doubts
He entered the garden and found Avya throwing her ball to his dog sheru , any toddler would be afraid of the dog except for her and even the doggy liked the girl as if sensing she were something to his owner , this is why they say dogs are more loyal than man
What he didn't fail to notice were she was sulking , he stood behind her picking her up swirling as fast as the wind causing avya to squeal happily loving the surprise , she'd like the man who taught her how to skate , he was nice
She showed him all her teeth shouting "ancoraa"
He stopped smiling at the baby ,she always found a way to the big bad boy shell he had around him ,"And what does that mean"
"Againn" She stated as if it were obvious
"Alright but before you have to tell me why were you sad????" He said not liking her frown earlier , it was pure instinct as if he had always had himself prepared toact fatherly towards her
"oh" She frowned again remembering the misery she was put in ,"mumma will not wear matching matching with avi today" She whispered sadly as Suraj gave her an incredious look , she was sad because of that????? but then he did have had made worst stubborn wishes as a kid
He snickered as if trying to imagine Chakor's face when she dealt with such attitude , in a way perhaps she knew him better than he think , thanks to avya , "But kiddo , you will look prettier if you wear something unique???" he said in a sugary tone
"Vero???" she asked again , this time he din't had to ask for the meaning , he could read through her expression which looked a lot like chakor when she was unsure about something
"Yes, i am sure you will, now go get ready" he said excitedly driving Avya's excitement back too
She quickly got off his arms and ran to her mother asking her to get her ready , something which clearly confused Chakor , how on earth did she agree on her own , but needless to say she was relief she gladly gave upon her request dressing her doll up , pecking her forehead sweetly
During the sangeet ceremony he saw Imli after 9 day ,he felt immensely irritated as she started complaining how he avoided her last days , had she really loved and cared for him wouldn't she have enquired what was wrong first, instead of pouncing at him like a hungry tigress
"Imli , it's Bhagya's sangeet let's try and act maturely please???" He said knowing he had to make a decision soon and figure out his confusion , he din't want to break Imli's heart since he had done enough damage to other people he couldn't afford any more guilt piling on what he already felt
He walked towards Bhagya and Arjun and decided for the very first time to hold a decent conversation which the guy he din't approve for his sister ,But chakor was right he had been selfish and he couldn't sit and say suffering in guilt were equal to making up for his mistake , he had to work for his apology because he knew now sorries weren't enough
"Hi i am Suraj Rajvanshi" He introduced himself forwarding his hand to his future brother in law who looked clearly surprised Suraj tried to talk to him?
"Hi???" Arjun accepted his handshake but still he couldn't wonder what was Wrong with him , even Bhagya who stood besides them were surprised
"Hey come on relax" he could see the shocked plastered over their face ,he wasn't really that much of a jerk right? for them to be soo surprised , 'okay maybe he was'
"i thought since you're going to be family we should try and get to know each other" He was trying , he was trying to be nice , leaving his own selfishly boosted ego
Arjun was glad things looked better because he truly din't want to hurt anyone's feeling by his marriage with Bhagya , least will be her twin brother
Bhagya proudly watched Suraj trying his best to keep a healthy conversation with Arjun, she knew exactly how did this miracle happened , she looked at her bestfriend who entered in the hall running behind Avya who were pretty much excited to meet more kids, she rushed to her bestfriend giving her a hug
"What's wrong??" Chakor hugged her back but she was confused for this sudden display of attraction
She briefly broke the hug , answering as nothing still preserving her beautiful smile
"You're crazy" She laughed at her
The Sangeet party was going well enough but according to Suraj it was too dull for a sangeet
He quickly ran to the stage asking for all's stage "areh guys this is a sangeet ceremony , why are all over the place instead on the dance floor????" He screamed excitedly "It's my dramaqueen sister's wedding it had to be spicy come on guys , let's dance" He said encouraging all on the dance floor
He ran asking for the music louder , his eyes searched for Avya, could he dance with his daughter?? will Chakor allow him? thinking about Chakor his eyes fell on her who danced with Bhagya happily , 'Wow jungli billi din't know you had it in you' He thought smilingly as he looked at her moving her hips to the beat of the music happily
He was broken out of his trance as Arjun pulled him too on the floor , he was dancing when Imli squeezed herself between him and Arjun causing his step to back as he slipped ,he tried holding on whatever he could grab to prevent his fall , but he still slipped on his back banging against the flower decoration and felt something hit his chest as he did
"darn it Imli" He mumbled angrily
"Idiot , stupid" Chakor screamed angrily trying to pull herself back on her feet
She was happily dancing when she felt a sudden tug on her hand which pulled her downwards , looking at the face of her culprit made her feel why did she even bother , it had to be the enemy of her happiness
He felt scared as he heard whom had he dragged into his fall , she stood up , why does he always have to mess things , "I am sorry" He said guiltily lowering his head but then he heard Avya's giggles next to him, lifting his head , he found Chakor glaring at him but a flower stuck in her hairs giving her a funny look , he stiffled a laugh but stopped not wanting to engrave things
"So this looks funny to you??" She was angry , he always managed to find a way to make fun of her , always!!!
He reluctantly lifted his hands to her hairs as she took a step back confused what'd he want to do , he pulled the flower gently , showing it to her , repeating himself "I am sorry"
She looked at the flower then at Suraj , all had surrounded them , she couldn't act rude? could she?? she clenched her fist but then not wanting to make a scene out of it , she accepted the flower , her eyes unwantedly falling on a smiling Suraj , it was as if he had a hopeful look , she walked away from the dance floor placing the flower on a table leaving it unattended
He walked behind her picking it up , What did he expect? She'll accept anything from him after having had put her through all of that , he looked at the flower feeling hurt from the obvious rejection, he was not feeling it take a dig at his ego , it was something which was directed to his heart
Why was he acting nice all of a sudden , he had had made it clear 4 years ago he din't want any link with neither her nor her child , then why was he behaving like that after having saw them for only a few days??? wasn't he scared now for his reputation? for his relationship with imli? , Chakor was pissed by Suraj's constant behavior
She looked at her daughter who yet insisted again to eat besan ke laddoo inspite of her refusal
"Please mumma , it looks nice" She had a weakness for sugaries , but Chakor couldn't let her have it for she was alergic to cardamon but who could explain that to her princess
"Chakor could you give me a minute?" Bhagya called her having trouble with the pins in her hairs
"wait , baby mumma promise she will make laddoos for you but don't eat this one okay??" She kissed her chubby cheeks which inflated by her pout and rushed to help Bhagya
Imli couldn't understand why her sister was soo stuck up , what could a laddoo do to a child? why not give it to her ? She found her cute , she din't like her sister but the child had done nothing to her , she walked to Avya trying to talk to the kid who seemed reluctant to converse with her at first
"Laddoo??" She proposed to Avya whose eyes brightened up at the sugar goodness but then she shook her head in a no
"Mumma said no" She said sadly
"She will not know if you take one" she tempted the child
Unable to resist to sweets , she gladly took one direct stuffing it in her little mouth
"Seriously?????" Chakor yelled picking Avya in her arms who looked closed to tears now having caught red handed disobeying her mother
"Are you mad???" Her hysterics scream did catch some people's attention , including Suraj , he quizzically approached them ,having now noticed a teary Avya , angry Chakor and nervous Imli
"it's just a laddoo not poison" Imli defended herself
"who even gives you the right to feed my daughter anything" She screamed causing Avya frightened harder , she did start sobbing in her mothers arms who calmed down a little now
"What happened?" Suraj asked
"Ask you fiancee" She angrily spatted , taking Avya away directly to her room
"it was nothing suraj she's just going crazy over some laddoos i fed to Avya" Imli explained showing the laddoo cardomon's skin peeking out the sweet to Suraj , he winced looking at those remembering his allergies towards cardamon , 'wait? allergy , was it possible for avya to share that with him????" Damnnn he cursed himself now feeling angry at Imli as Chakor did
"Why will you even feed her something???? She's a child and Chakor being her mother knows what's best for her, if she decided not to give it to Avya she might had some reasons right??? Can't believe how stupid can you get Imli" He scolded her leaving her alone to watch over If avya was fine
Imli hadn't expect suraj to talk to her like that it was as if it wasn't the Suraj she had known since forever.
