SS: Part Time Lovers. (PART 05 UPDATED!)

BreakingBlue thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1
Hey everyone! Happy New Year! Hoping we all have a wonderful year ahead, with many things to look forward to! 🄳

Coming to this story, shout out to Sumi for all the encouragement to start this piece! I was planning to start a story for a long time now, and she echoed the idea. Hugs from my side, You lovely girl! šŸ¤— You certainly pressed my accelerator button. šŸ˜†
Alright, on with the story now!

PS: I SUCK AT MAKING UP HINDI DIALOGUES.

PART TIME LOVERS.

'We are undercover passion on the run
Chasing love up against the sun
We are strangers by day, lovers by night
Knowing it's so wrong, but feeling so right'

- Stevie Wonder (Song: Part Time Lover.)

Prologue:

"Chakor! Chakor!" Suraj tried to keep his voice down as he called out to the small girl sleeping in the corner of the stable. "Chakor!" He tried again, his hands gripping the bars of the window as he tried to steady himself on the worn out stool. The small figure slightly stirred, sitting up, rubbing her eyes. Suraj waited patiently for the girl to notice him.
"Suraj babu!" She exclaimed on noticing him on the other side of the only window of the stable. She ran toward him, her foot steps rather soft. She tried to climb up the wall to see him, but the window was really high. Suraj himself had to use a stool to be able to peer through it, and he was way taller than her.

"Tum theek toh ho na, Chakor?" The teenager asked worriedly. Chakor took a few steps back so as to see him. "Hum theek hai, Suraj babu. Par aap yahan?" "Tumhaare liye khana laaye hai. Humare paas aa, hum neeche packet phekenge," the older boy said.
"Naahi, Suraj babu. Aap yahan se jaayiye! Agar Bade Maalik ne aapko humare saath dekh liya, toh aapko bohot maarenge!"

Quite frankly, Chakor was hungry. No, she was starving. But right now, she was more worried about Suraj, or rather, what would become of him were his father to see him with a Bandhua. A 7 year old should definitely not think this way, certainly not when she is hungry, hungry enough to wolf down food for 3 people. But Chakor had been brought up in these dark places, and this was the only world she knew.
Suraj, on the other hand, could care less about himself. Right now, this young girl was the only real companion he had in this world. His father, or should he even call him that, had long left seeing him as a son. Suraj was more of a business deal for him, and he made sure to equip Suraj with as many skills and qualities possible, so that he was ready for 'sale'. Sale being bringing in money for his father, by whatever means. Never once did his father care about the torture he went through to survive. He had thrashed Suraj himself many times as well. When his mother passed away, his state got worse, his days more darker. There was no reason for him to survive, nothing, except Her.

She was the only one who saw him as a Human, a boy of 13, an unloved, discarded one at that. Unknowingly, she had become his reason to live, in the wicked world of his.
"Tum humari chintha math karo. Haath aage karo, hum packet andar phenk rahe hai." He slowly extended his hand in between the bars, steadying his stance on the stool. One of the legs was shorter, which caused the stool to wobble.
Suraj was about to let go of the packet when a thought crossed his mind. "Tumhare haath ab bhi bandhe hai kya?" He tried to look at her, standing on the tips of his toes, almost losing balance in the process. "Naahi, Suraj babu. Humein yahan bandh karne se pehle unhone humare hathkadiyaan nikaal di. Woh wahan uss kone mein hai," she pointed in an arbitrary direction, buy Suraj could care less since it was enough for him that she wasn't in shackles anymore. "Accha. Toh yeh pakad," he slowly threw down the packet, and she caught it with ease. "Shukriya, Suraj babu," she smiled up at him, and God, she looked like an Angel to Suraj, her face illuminated by the sparse moonlight that managed to enter the dungeon.

At that moment, he felt himself choke on his own spit, as he readied himself to tell her the dreadful news. He heard the rustle of the packet, and he squeezed his eyes as he waited for her to find the ring. It didn't take long, for a few seconds later, she held up the shiny circular object in her tiny fingers, examining it.
"Yeh kaa hai, Suraj babu?" She asked, looking puzzled. "Humari angooti hai woh," he said simply, any further words refusing to come out of his mouth. Though he said that, truth was it was actually too big for him. His mother had made it for when he would grow up, and probably when he would get married.
She processed the information for a while, before walking up to the window and reaching up in a vain attempt to give it back to him.

"Nahi, tum usse sambhaal ke rakho, Chakor. Tumhaare liye hai woh," he blurted out with great difficulty. "Par kaahe?" The little girl asked, walking back to able to look at him. "Hum... hum yahan se bohot door jaa rahe hai, Chakor. Nahi, apne marzi se nahi jaa rahe hai hum, humein Papa zabardasti bhej rahe hai. London." She remained silent for a while, contemplating, before letting out a soft sob. Had those iron bars not been restricting him, Suraj would have surely jumped in to hug the girl.
"Toh kaa phir hum kabho naahi milenge Suraj babu?" She whispered softly, so soft the wind swallowed some of her words. But to Suraj, they rang loud and clear.

"Milenge na!" He almost screamed. "Hum zaroor milenge! Isliye toh humari angooti tumhein de rahe hai! Taaki tumhein ehsaas ho ki hum hamesha tumhaare saath hai, tumhaare paas hai! Humein bhoologi toh nahi, Chakor?" He asked her, a bit unsure. To his relief, she shook her head vigorously. "Kabho naahi, Suraj babu! Kabho naahi!" She asserted, but her expression changed into a sad one again. "Par humre paas aisa kucho bhi naahi hai, jo hum aapko de sakath hai. Hum kaa kare, Suraj babu?" Suraj expression morphed into one of anger, as he slowly said, "Woh jo bediyaan hai na, humein woh laakar do. Woh humein hamesha tumhaari yaad dilayegi,"

Puzzled, she managed to pass, or rather throw to the outside, a small piece of the shackles which were previously binding her hands.
"Hum aayenge, Chakor. Zaroor aayenge. Aur tumhe yahan se bohot door le jaayenge. Hum tumhe azaad karne wapas aayenge Chakor. Intazaar karo humara, iss narak se le jaayenge tumhe."
Chakor nodded her head, silent sobs as he uttered his parting words. Despite the lump in his throat, he mumbled softly, a small smile adorning his face.

"Apne Suraj ka intazaar karo, Chakor. Jaise hum tumhe phir se dekhne ka intazaar karenge."

Two young souls. A Promise. A Bond.
And an Uncertain Future.
***

I hope I've piqued your interest by this prologue! 😳 And I hope I can update this soon! (Don't throw chappals at me, I swear I'll update my FF by this weekend! šŸ˜†)

Index:
Part 01 on Page 03
Part 02 on Page 06
Part 03 on Page 08
Part 04 on Page 09
Part 05 on Page 10
Edited by BreakingBlue - 8 years ago


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Tara_Vjian thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#2
Oh God...what to say...it looked so real as if i was
Watching.it on tv...amazing just amazing..
You are one of my fav writers...and this is definitely my fav
Story ..so please continue soon
Dont make me waitā¤ļø
Good JobšŸ‘šŸ¼
Sumaiya_Scrible thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 8 years ago
#3
RES.
Unres
Okay so from where should I start... First of all thank u soo much for writing such a beautiful prologue *big tight hugg*. Are u kidding me.? Ur dialogues were perfect.at the start those 4 lines (don't know wht it is. A song or poem [:p] ) suited perfectly to this prologue *one more hug* . The way Suraj cared for chakor his caring nature was something new. He gave his ring to her which was from his mother, who is no more, that was the best part of it. That part showed how strong connection bond they have *one more tight hug* and at last their assurance to each other, the dialogues, their feelings everything was incredibly written and described
It was all so aesthetically done just loved it to the core *one more tight hug* šŸ¤— šŸ¤— šŸ¤—
Now I don't know anything u have to update the next part ASAP. I can't help it I'm so excited for it
Edited by sumaiya10 - 8 years ago
maithu_ thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#4
A neww SS from u 🄳
Interesting!

Suraj in his teenage age assuring her is cute.
Loved how he said "Apne Suraj"

Waiting to know how the ring is going to be linked in future!

Thankfully I was on lunch break when u post it!

Cont soon!šŸ¤—
BreakingBlue thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: tarasuresh

Oh God...what to say...it looked so real as if i was

Watching.it on tv...amazing just amazing..
You are one of my fav writers...and this is definitely my fav
Story ..so please continue soon
Dont make me waitā¤ļø
Good JobšŸ‘šŸ¼


What do I say now? Your comment makes me so happy! šŸ¤—
Thanks a lot for those huge compliments, Love! I'm elated to hear you like my stories! 😳
It's your favourite story already? Then I better make sure I write well so that it stays your favourite story! šŸ˜‰
I promise to update as soon as I can! šŸ˜† (I'm seriously saying that.)
Thank you! 😊
eshasrk thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#6
OMG !!!!!!!!!!!
This is so heartbreakingly amazing šŸ‘ 😭
Girl...did u wake up this morning with the idea to make me sob or what ????
I am at work you know and I just cannot control...this is freaking beautiful, so plsss do us a big favour and continue as soon as possible...
Tara_Vjian thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: BreakingBlue


What do I say now? Your comment makes me so happy! šŸ¤—
Thanks a lot for those huge compliments, Love! I'm elated to hear you like my stories! 😳
It's your favourite story already? Then I better make sure I write well so that it stays your favourite story! šŸ˜‰
I promise to update as soon as I can! šŸ˜† (I'm seriously saying that.)
Thank you! 😊

And I love you for Thatā¤ļø
PenguinBaby thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 8 years ago
#8
Oh that was utterly beautiful! And a really good concept! Loved it, update soon!
Happy New Year!ā¤ļø

-Sanu
kavya_989 thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#9
Superb akhi šŸ¤— it's very interesting because here Suraj is the hero of the story but in the soap chakor is the hero šŸ˜› I'm eagerly waiting for their first meeting šŸ˜†
Immaturebookie thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#10
Akhi it looks promising dude😃 do update fast cause the feels are real

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