Iceblue thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#1

Part 1- page 1
Part 2- page 1
Part 3- page 3
Part 4- page 4
Part 5- page 4 ( final)


Once again I'm frustrated with the slow pace, the plot screw ups, and waste of kanak and avinesh 's talents. Perfect time to write with the ink of frustration.

Plot: the 30 days are over that were set by Vansh and uma for divorce. Kanak has managed to send massi sa and Aditya to jail with charges of fraud and embezzlements and endangering Massa 's life. Massa has not yet recovered but kanak has convinced Uma to allow a female doctor to come and treat her. Vansh has discovered Saras is Sara but refused to accept her as a wife. Kanak thinks it's probably for the best.

As everyone stands at the door bidding Kanak goodbye, half teary eyed, half disheartened, Vansh pulls Kanak's arm into the car so they may leave before she changes her mind. Vansh has left behind a crying Saras who ran straight to her room and locked the door.
Suman consoled Shiv by saying, " Bhabhi sa has her whole life waiting for her in Pushkar, why would she want to stay in this house? Especially the way she was treated by all of us?! She is like a dove, let her bring peace to wherever she chooses to fly, but she should never be bound and tied in a cage like this, where you need Others permission to breathe" . She looked at Uma when saying this to see if he heard it. UMa just looked on the floor hearing everything around him but too frozen to respond.
Suman had her own guilt and pain to deal with. She had not exactly been a friend to Kanak. She knew very well that she had wanted to break Kanak and Dadusas marriage for the longest time and even when that desire had been won over by Kanak's love and support for her ambitions, Suman just watched Palomi and Massi sa's antics from the side lines. SHe Had to ask herself, what good had her education done for her. It didn't even give her the wisdom or strength to be just. Suman realized that watching injustice is just as bad as committing it. Would she be able to live with this for the rest of her life. She clenched Shivs hands even tighter at this thought and then looked at Shiv and said. I'm still here for you. Poor Shiv s heart was not devoid of any guilt. He had his own guilt. Why did he not confess to Uma/ Dadoo sa about the tobacco incident to save Bhabhi sa. Maybe if he had revealed it earlier Uma would have stopped massi sa from doing what she did and maybe, just maybe, BHabhi sa would have not left!
Shiv left Suman s hand and ran to His Dadoo sa crying and sulking. "I want you to take of my Jano and burn it Dadoo sa! Right now! I don't deserve it! I lied! I hurt Bhabhi sa! ".


To be continued friends...

writing because I find it therapeutic . if the CWs refuse to show justice we can imagine and conjur up our own!
Love to those that like it and to those who hate it!
🤗


Edited by Iceblue - 7 years ago

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savithp thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#2
Dear Ice,
I'm moved with your writing, very therapeutic to read just what the doctor ordered for me. Please write more, i guess you have done a way better job than what CVs are intending to do with leap and death track, i do not want that i bet each of us fans of the serial love your version and want this to be the right way forward!
Thank you.
🤗
SooSan thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#3
Hi Ice
Loved your story , it wil be interesting to see what happens next.😊
Bhaana thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#4
Meant for therapy😎...Highlighting suman and shiv accepting his mistake was nice
Pls continue dear...
TSMSPfan thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#5
Thank you I always wonder in serial do they mind realisation of shiv and confess to Uma!! Do they really have space for all these tiny feeling where they care about trp!! They just neglect the name issue(kanak) just like that but we were dying to watch uma's reaction about it.. many such things. At least in you ff we are seeing this so relaxing and happy. Please post the next update earliest possible.
Abc12345678 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#6
Hii iceblue,heart touching one,suman words are very true..want uma to realize everything soon,thanks dear for this emotional ff, waiting for the next part..
Mansi_jg thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#7
Hi ice blue,
Very heart touching ff, thanks a lot, continue writing and update soon.
Iceblue thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#8
Part 2 Kanak Leaves For Pushkar

As Kanak stared blankly out the window, her tears rolled without a pause. They knew no limit. Vansh looked furious on the face with a furrow on the forehead, pressed the pedal with such storm, speeding down the uneven streets and pot holes of Ladno. " I will never have to see this hell hole ever again ", he thought. Vansh glanced at Kanak crying and scolded her, " Don't you dare cry for that man who can only be compared with the worst of what men have to offer. You gave him a chance against our wishes but now you must let go!" Vansh caught himself yelling and lowered his tone in attempts to be a little more thoughtful and said, " listen Kanak, you have so much to offer to the world. You are young and energetic. You can do whatever you want! He was never your type and the way he has treated you ..., you deserve better! "
Before Vansh could continue, Kanak turned her head from the window and yelled at him , " And Saras? Did she deserve you? What kind of a man are you exactly? She is not just Umas sister, she is a woman who weaved dreams of marriage all her life only to be deceived by you and then disposed away at the earliest convenience!" . Kanak's eyes were red with both pain and anger.
" Whatever Uma is , you are no pride of mankind! And you lost your right to advise me for what I should do or not do the day you married Saras! I am a woman like her before I am your sister! ", hollered Kanak as she turned her head back to the window.
Back in the Toshniwal house, Uma had been standing in front of the shiv statue with little Shiv tugging at his kurta begging him to burn his jano. UMa listened but heard nothing, so deeply embedded was his pain. Shiv continued crying and saying, " Massi sa told me I had to help her to keep you two together so I lied. I never touched any tobacco in my life. Massi sa said you hate Bhabhi sa's tea and will kick her out if she continues! Bhabhi sa found out but never told you what I did!" . At this Uma turned to glance at Shiv and then broke down in tears, kneeling to the floor, thinking to himself how much he had wronged Kanak ! Shiv continued to cry and say something but Uma tuned him out. This continued for a few minutes until Uma got up in a rage and darted towards Massi sa's room. He broke open what had been her cupboard and threw everything in a pile. He threw everything from the night stands and tables with quick angry sweeps. He yelled , " Nobody in this house will ever name her name again! Ever again!" . Then he hollered for Gabba sa to come in the room at once. Everybody along with Gabba sa gathered to see what the commotion was. Uma ordered Gabba sa to take all the stuff and give it to the poor at once. Saras had also come out of her room by now and wiping her tears said, " Ab pashtai kya hotha hai jab chiria chug gai kheth! I can understand exactly how she feels today! You can't blame massi sa for not being a good husband to Kanak Bhabhi sa! You didn't ask Massi sa for marrying her then why did you decide to divorce her because of Massi sa?! BoliAy na!". Uma even more furious with himself beat his arms on the cupboard several times before closing it and ran to Massa s room. He only stopped to drop his torso onto her legs and weep like no man had wept before. Massa had not missed a word of the entire days events. Although she was grateful to God for her sisters truth coming out and leaving the house, her grief now knew no bounds. She teared helplessly for Kanak and her son's dilemma. She stretched her hand to rub his head. Uma weeped soaking the blanket that covered his mother until the sounds all died down. The rest of the family members left the two alone in the room hoping the pain would eventually die down.
The next morning when Suman came to Massa ' s room she saw that Uma was still lying in the same position as she left him the night before. He was still on massas legs with eyes closed, what appeared to be a deep slumber. Massa opened her eyes as Suman shrugged Umas shoulder , " Dadoo sa wake up! We have to wash Massa and feed her ourselves now that Bhabhi sa is gone". But no matter how hard Suman tried to wake Uma up calling his name to get up, he lay there senseless.
With each attempt to wake Uma up, Suman grew restless.


To be continued...
Love to those that like it and those that don't.
🤗


Edited by Iceblue - 7 years ago
desigal2017 thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#9
Wow ice, quite a writer you are.. Good going.. Will read the next parts as and when you update.
I love that you played with guilt here be it Uma, Suman or shiv. I hope vansh feels it too..

Keep writing.

Love,
Megs
Bhaana thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Iceblue

Part 2 Kanak Leaves For Pushkar


As Kanak stared blankly out the window, her tears rolled without a pause. They knew no limit. Vansh looked furious on the face with a furrow on the forehead, pressed the pedal with such storm, speeding down the uneven streets and pot holes of Ladno. " I will never have to see this hell hole ever again ", he thought. Vansh glanced at Kanak crying and scolded her, " Don't you dare cry for that man who can only be compared with the worst of what men have to offer. You gave him a chance against our wishes but now you must let go!" Vansh caught himself yelling and lowered his tone in attempts to be a little more thoughtful and said, " listen Kanak, you have so much to offer to the world. You are young and energetic. You can do whatever you want! He was never your type and the way he has treated you ..., you deserve better! "
Before Vansh could continue, Kanak turned her head from the window and yelled at him , " And Saras? Did she deserve you? What kind of a man are you exactly? She is not just Umas sister, she is a woman who weaved dreams of marriage all her life only to be deceived by you and then disposed away at the earliest convenience!" . Kanak's eyes were red with both pain and anger.
" Whatever Uma is , you are no pride of mankind! And you lost your right to advise me for what I should do or not do the day you married Saras! I am a woman like her before I am your sister! ", hollered Kanak as she turned her head back to the window.
Back in the Toshniwal house, Uma had been standing in front of the shiv statue with little Shiv tugging at his kurta begging him to burn his jano. UMa listened but heard nothing, so deeply embedded was his pain. Shiv continued crying and saying, " Massi sa told me I had to help her to keep you two together so I lied. I never touched any tobacco in my life. Massi sa said you hate Bhabhi sa's tea and will kick her out if she continues! Bhabhi sa found out but never told you what I did!" . At this Uma turned to glance at Shiv and then broke down in tears, kneeling to the floor, thinking to himself how much he had wronged Kanak ! Shiv continued to cry and say something but Uma tuned him out. This continued for a few minutes until Uma got up in a rage and darted towards Massi sa's room. He broke open what had been her cupboard and threw everything in a pile. He threw everything from the night stands and tables with quick angry sweeps. He yelled , " Nobody in this house will ever name her name again! Ever again!" . Then he hollered for Gabba sa to come in the room at once. Everybody along with Gabba sa gathered to see what the commotion was. Uma ordered Gabba sa to take all the stuff and give it to the poor at once. Saras had also come out of her room by now and wiping her tears said, " Ab pashtai kya hotha hai jab chiria chug gai kheth! I can understand exactly how she feels today! You can't blame massi sa for not being a good husband to Kanak Bhabhi sa! You didn't ask Massi sa for marrying her then why did you decide to divorce her because of Massi sa?! BoliAy na!". Uma even more furious with himself beat his arms on the cupboard several times before closing it and ran to Massa s room. He only stopped to drop his torso onto her legs and weep like no man had wept before. Massa had not missed a word of the entire days events. Although she was grateful to God for her sisters truth coming out and leaving the house, her grief now knew no bounds. She teared helplessly for Kanak and her son's dilemma. She stretched her hand to rub his head. Uma weeped soaking the blanket that covered his mother until the sounds all died down. The rest of the family members left the two alone in the room hoping the pain would eventually die down.
The next morning when Suman came to Massa ' s room she saw that Uma was still lying in the same position as she left him the night before. He was still on massas legs with eyes closed, what appeared to be a deep slumber. Massa opened her eyes as Suman shrugged Umas shoulder , " Dadoo sa wake up! We have to wash Massa and feed her ourselves now that Bhabhi sa is gone". But no matter how hard Suman tried to wake Uma up calling his name to get up, he lay there senseless.
With each attempt to wake Uma up, Suman grew restless.


To be continued...
Love to those that like it and those that don't.
🤗


Your therapy works, its good.
Crying uma is better than being dumb...
two tigress are in form👏
What happened to my hero😲

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