TSMSPJ episode 10: 13.4.17~ My Impressions~ A matter of honour
Honour is a strong word and can have dangerous connotations across many cultures across the world especially when equated to the female in a family unit. Protecting ones honour may fall under the canopy of upholding one's principle, reputation, aintegrity, reverence and allegiance to something one holds in high esteem, like one's faith and nation. Across the centuries, till date, two of the most common ones where one's in particular a man's honour, comes into play, is protecting familial respectability , and the honour of the chastity and virtue of women. In contemporary times there has been a slight shift as women have been given more rights within the laws of the land where their privileges' have some protection ,and they are learning to protect both their own and their family's honour.. but its way to go ahead...before they can share the same equality of protecting the familial honour like men do.. with clout..like Uma Shankar does..
Uma reminds Payal's family that they are honour bound, morally obliged and that their personal integrity is at stake. Since it was they who had approached Aditya's family for childhood marriage with their daughter, they did not coerce them in any way. He plainly and abrasively reminds them of their words of honour that they gave. That marriage to Aditya was their daughters providence, and as such they must bear allegiance to their word of honour. Uma softens his tact and brings in references to faith which outlines that marriage is a sacred alliance and once married, the wife is honour bound to do what is morally correct, be faithful to her husband as a sense of sacred duty.. mind you most world faiths have similar mindset towards the institution of marriage, and the duties of a virtuous wife. Uma brings the scriptures because it's a powerful tool that devotees dread to cross paths with. He reminds the family that he feels morally obliged to consider Payal part of his family and he feels his personal integrity is at stake protecting her honour. Uma reprimands the mother in particular for encouraging her daughter to think about another whilst Payal is still married to his brother Aditya whether she lives with him or apart from him . In a way he reminds them its dishonourable of them by going back on the word. Beware of the almighty's punishment! He warns the vulnerable parents and Payal and decrees they had better be at the temple tomorrow for the haldi ceremony ,following which Payal as his missing brother Aditya's wife will be taken to her in laws house. The question remains though ,is Uma doing the right thing by endorsing the scriptures or is he manipulating sacred inspired word to suit his own needs? Perhaps to honour his image in society and the community at large? Does Payal's consent matter? Does she have an option?
Rani is the proverbial servant girl who keeps her keen eyes opened for what goes on both sides of the dividing wall between the great Rathi family. Although she is a hired hand by mistress Meenakshi.. Rani in her own innocent manner is like the court jester who in the use of satire and jokes relays what goes on in both Rathi families. In jest she makes many awkward issues be addressed , and that too before the neighbours. Like when she coaxes Bhabo to invite Meenakshi and herself to Kanak's wedding! Rani's flattery of her mistress gets her mostly to be on the right side of her mistress.
Its not just the case of saving the face of family honour by accepting Bhabho's decision of getting her married of to Mayank. It is more a case of appeasing her grandmother. For Kanak each pre- nuptial ritual reduces the gap between her and Bhabo ..today was no exception and lo and behold she returns from shopping.. dressed in her casual hoodie.. underneath she conceals the bor.. her Bhabo was famous for fixing in the precinct! Uncovering the hoodie gives all a shock! and to hear her announce that Bhabo fixed it upon her forehead , gives all the family tremendous hope ,that perhaps Bhabo is taking small steps of accepting Kanak.. One has to maintain the stature of the family honour. When neighbours pop by and expect Bhabo to do the honours at all the pre-wedding rituals. Bhabo has no other choice but to bow her head before the need of the hour, people's expectancy that she will gracefully follow all the rites and rituals leading up to her granddaughter's forthcoming wedding. Tongue in cheek of course calling Daisa over to exert pressure over Bhabo is Meenakshi s idea.. she knows Daisa is not going to mince her words. In fact the seemingly brash and condescending meenashki will do anything to bring a smile on Kanaks face and so all the arrangements for Kanak s haldi are done. Daisa almost dares Bhabo just to be present at the ceremony. So begins the haldi ceremony a ritual of cleansing and purifying the bride to be free of all blemishes.. a chaste offering of herself for her husband as one does before the gods. For Bhabo it's a matter of keeping up appearances for the sake of the Rathi's honor. For Kanak to have Bhabo before her is worship enough for her, no less than before the deities. How well the deities knew her needs today too! Bhabo's every touch of performing rituals on her, before all, quenches her thirst of wanting her very own mothers love. Yes Bhabo's eyes are cold, aloof and forbidding but her fingers do tremble slightly as she struggles under the weight of those sepia memories of when Kanak was born. Bhabo avoids Kanak's ecstatic yet tearful eyes. She can see overwhelming fulfilment in them, that which has the potential to weaken her. In keeping with the decorum, Bhabo also feeds Kanak celebratory sweets. For Kanak it's another precious morsel of her grandmothers blessing for her! Before Bhabo gives way before Kanak sentiments. She detaches herself from the song and dance once the haldi ritual ends. Once again the pressure of public eye falls upon Bhabo inthe form of her neighbour daisa who expects her as the grandmother to also give Kanak away as the girls parents are not alive. So once again the rituals linked to her marriage , brings her closer and closer to Bhabo. Bhabo on the other hand feels doing Kanak's kanaydan is getting too close for comfort! Kanak is over the moon that she gains the position of being Bhabo's daughter.
Uma's haldi celebration is at the temple and arranged in a big way with the whole community involved. He awaits the arrival of Payal and her parents. They arrive eventually.. Uma's tall figure looms above them a couple of steps higher than the father and daughter, with mother to follow later? It's not by choice the poor father comes but more so in the fear of displeasing the gods by refusing to abide by the right path Uma suggested to him. That the love for his daughter took him off course from the path of righteousness. The father links superstitious beliefs as signs from the gods, with day to day faulty equipment like the roof caving in, milk being spilt and the geyser blowing a fuse! Seems like Uma has been successful in using faith into manipulating the gullible father.. on top of it are Uma's orthodox beliefs like there is no love without fear! The heart is precocious and wanton and has to be bridled and restrained! Uma's god appears one that god punishes people to bring them on the right path! God thus, is portrayed only as a stern dictatorial higher order figurehead , devoid of mercy and compassion , and only punishing the vulnerable..
Kanak ,Meenakshi and vansh too come to the temple. Kanak cannot but over hear Payal's mother relating her tale of woe to the priest, that her sins have come upon her daughter in the form of punishment and asks for a way out to protect her daughter from the evil eye! Many faiths still profess that the sins of the forefathers come upon their future generations.. Kanak saunters over to her and consoles Payal s mother that the deities are not to be afraid off ,rather they are like parental figures, who punish children for mistakes but they never stop loving them.. Kanak brings in the love of the creator for his creation, element. Kanak opposes Uma's idea of love is one enforced by fear. Kanak believes that love brought about by coercion is not true love! Marriage or union by force is a form of agreement, a deal. love is a prerequisite, for love grants freedom. Where Uma talks about putting reins on one's sentiments. Kanak tells Payal's mother, to suppress emotions is to stifle one's existence! Finally she encourages Payal's mother that the greatest armour she can give to her child is her blessings, that should be plenty to ward off the evil surrounding her daughter's life!!From a distance Meenakshi watches Kanak and it's like seeing Sandhya being resurrected again in the shape of Kanak.. she too intrepidly stood up to support lost causes around her..
Another fantastic episode , the gap between Bhabo and Kanak is gradually reducing. The gap between Uma and Kanak s mindset ,especially in the realm of the faith both practice is varied and dynamite material. Will coming closer cause friction between the two? Are they destined to be married? In tomorrows precap both get snowed under haldi ! and some ring ends up on kanaks finger? Uma reckons it'll get to the person its meant for! Hamlet53 14.4.17
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