Both Anuj and Anupama blaming Aadhya for their seperation - Page 2

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Pakhi was literally groomed and beaten by Adhik. She is a brat but the victim blaming to justify a minor browbeating two adults into a marriage is astounding. Good lord.

You cherry pick on point 4 but points 1-3 have nothing to do with Pakhi and Adhik's relationship

1. Anupama gave up her first Udaan because she was pregnant with Pakhi. Yet I never seen her constantly bring this up to Pakhi and remind her how she sacrificed her Udaan for her

But on the flip side Adhya must be constantly reminded how Anupama made a great sacrifice for her by not leaving for America the second time. Why? Why this bias between 2 daughters. Neither Pakhi nor Adhya asked Anupama to sacrifice for them. 

If one is not constantly forced to acknowledge her unknowing role in mother's so called Udaan why is the other? Doesn't seem fair.

2. When Adhya was initially brought to Shah house she received less than a good welcome. It's fine. They were all shocked we brush it away. Baa constantly abused her verbally. But that's fine, she was just wordy in expressing her views. I guess we'll brush that away too. Pakhi has forever looked on Adhya with a jealous eye. But I guess that's fine too. She was the youngest of her house until she suddenly wasn't because mom got a new little girl. So naturally she took it out on the little girl and we're just going to forget that right. Because gives a crap about how any of this might have affected a little girl who came with the hope that the new family will accept her. Right?

3. Pakhi has thrown some epic tantrums. Cried and demanded her parents not divorce. That they stay in the same house even if they are separated. Despite her father living in with his mistress when the divorce is not final yet. Essentially continuing to cheat on her mother. She plotted with Baa to try and get them back together. But we will call all of it the acts of a child wanting her life to remain as it was. For the family to remain as it was.

On the flip side if Adhya asks Anuj to stay with Shruti because she feels that is her family now. Because she relates to Shruti and wants her to be there. If she does not want Anupama in their life again and tries to keep Anuj and Anupama separate. She is a two bit scheming ungrateful brat? A child with no sense of respect?

Has not Pakhi said far worse to Anupama but it's never brought up again? Yet if Adhya says one word against Anupama she will be constantly reminded of it over and over. Be called ganda khoon by the Bhakts and what not 

Why this bias between similar actions of two daughters? Why understand one's trauma but vilify the other's?

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Pakhi was literally groomed and beaten by Adhik. She is a brat but the victim blaming to justify a minor browbeating two adults into a marriage is astounding. Good lord.

That these incidents were spread over a year or more apart where Pakhi-Adhik weren't even in the picture as a couple. Anyway.

You mean Pakhi was groomed by Adhik to beat him? Really Good Lord.

What's astounding? Pakhi beating Adhik was Depression and Adhik beating Pakhi was badsalooki. Good Lord.

Mind you, both are equally wrong (before you drawing your own convenient conclusions).

Pakhi (not under Adhik grooming) making demands, throwing things around to get her way, forcing her parents to stay under a roof, making way for Anupama being exploited at Shahs, along with Leela, trying to bring them (Anupama-Vanraj) together is fine. She is depressed and dealing with enough, wants a family. That's not "meddling" with adults' lives.

Pakhi, publicly, (school, with friends) making it known that the new kid is the bane of her happiness is fine because of stress and anxiety but Choti Anu asking pertinent questions infront of family is a sin.

Edited by Bodhianveshika - 2 months ago

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

That these incidents were spread over a year or more apart where Pakhi-Adhik weren't even in the picture as a couple. Anyway.

You mean Pakhi was groomed by Adhik to beat him? Really Good Lord.

What's astounding? Pakhi beating Adhik was Depression and Adhik beating Pakhi was badsalooki. Good Lord.

Mind you, both are equally wrong (you drawing your own convenient conclusions).

Pakhi (not under Adhik grooming) making demands, throwing things around to get her way, forcing her parents to stay under a roof, making way for Anupama being exploited at Shahs, along with Leela, trying to bring them (Anupama-Vanraj) together is fine. She is depressed and dealing with enough, wants a family. That's not "meddling" with adults' lives.

Pakhi, publicly, (school, with friends) making it known that the new kid is the bane of her happiness is fine because of stress and anxiety but Choti Anu asking pertinent questions infront of family is a sin.

Pakhi is a victim?

Maa is a victim?

Yesterday Toshu said he is a victim too 😂

Sounds like a joke but these three are abusers of highest order, and how is Pakhi throwing stupid tantrums as a teen to keep her parents together in any way related to Pakhi being beaten by Adhik?

Wasn’t Pakhi the first one to resort to physical violence with her husband? And then she lied to her family and sent her father to threaten Adhik? When nothing worked Maa manipulated the entire situation into some sort of Depression Maharani Pakhi is going thru and both overdramatic mother daughter did this stunt of lying on the footpath 😂

Latest before leap was Pakhi trying to slap Aadhya, same girl who wanted to become a Mother was hitting a child, Maa witnesses this but hides from Anuj. Hypocrisy thy name Anupamaaaaa!

Originally posted by: HoneyBee7312

You cherry pick on point 4 but points 1-3 have nothing to do with Pakhi and Adhik's relationship

1. Anupama gave up her first Udaan because she was pregnant with Pakhi. Yet I never seen her constantly bring this up to Pakhi and remind her how she sacrificed her Udaan for her

But on the flip side Adhya must be constantly reminded how Anupama made a great sacrifice for her by not leaving for America the second time. Why? Why this bias between 2 daughters. Neither Pakhi nor Adhya asked Anupama to sacrifice for them. 

If one is not constantly forced to acknowledge her unknowing role in mother's so called Udaan why is the other? Doesn't seem fair.

2. When Adhya was initially brought to Shah house she received less than a good welcome. It's fine. They were all shocked we brush it away. Baa constantly abused her verbally. But that's fine, she was just wordy in expressing her views. I guess we'll brush that away too. Pakhi has forever looked on Adhya with a jealous eye. But I guess that's fine too. She was the youngest of her house until she suddenly wasn't because mom got a new little girl. So naturally she took it out on the little girl and we're just going to forget that right. Because gives a crap about how any of this might have affected a little girl who came with the hope that the new family will accept her. Right?

3. Pakhi has thrown some epic tantrums. Cried and demanded her parents not divorce. That they stay in the same house even if they are separated. Despite her father living in with his mistress when the divorce is not final yet. Essentially continuing to cheat on her mother. She plotted with Baa to try and get them back together. But we will call all of it the acts of a child wanting her life to remain as it was. For the family to remain as it was.

On the flip side if Adhya asks Anuj to stay with Shruti because she feels that is her family now. Because she relates to Shruti and wants her to be there. If she does not want Anupama in their life again and tries to keep Anuj and Anupama separate. She is a two bit scheming ungrateful brat? A child with no sense of respect?

Has not Pakhi said far worse to Anupama but it's never brought up again? Yet if Adhya says one word against Anupama she will be constantly reminded of it over and over. Be called ganda khoon by the Bhakts and what not 

Why this bias between similar actions of two daughters? Why understand one's trauma but vilify the other's?

Adhya needn't be reminded of anything apart from the fact that some decisions are not hers to make. Adhya was NOT being groomed straight outta highschool. Adhya was NOT being beaten by her partner. How can those situations be treated similarly? Adhik and Barkha were shown as plotting to lure a barely-legal Pakhi into a marriage so that they could have access to Anupamaa and Anuj's money. (Epis 620-640ish). That is grooming. Just because no character is consistent, doesn't mean it did not happen. Cannot believe I went to find those epis lol. https://www.hotstar.com/in/tv/anupama/1260022017/anuj-warns-adhik-barkha/1000278587

Adhya, a kid who is even younger than Pakhi at the beginning of the show, doesn't like her mother. She feels neglected (because her mother saved a literal helpless toddler before a 7-9 y/o child who could follow instructions. God forbid, if she ever ends up in a triage situation. Doctors par negligence ka case kar denge Pops rather than making her understand that someone else needed the attention first). She doesn't want to live with her. Absolutely fine. Her Pops has to deal with it and manage his Anuuuu obsession. What neither can do is expect and manipulate Shruti to ruin her life to satisfy their needs. It's a parent's (who did all the show of abandoning his wife to go live with his foster child no less) responsibility to establish that much decency in a child.

Anupamaa hasn't approached Adhya knowingly. Anupamaa hasn't stopped Anuj from going to a therapist or marrying someone else. She gave solid advice to Shruti as a friend and just wants to live her life unassailed. If you want her to sooli par chadh jaye taki Adhya ki anxiety once and for all khatam ho jaye toh woh toh makers karenge nahi.

 Log itna offence toh Dimpy ke liye bhi nahi lete who WAS abused by Upmaa, then went through a traumatic widowhood where her husband died while trying to save Anuj, and continues to be abused without any means or reprieve.

Pakhi is a bad person.That doesn't mean that absolves Adhik of committing violence against her. That doesn't at all mean that bad people can be shamed for being abused. Similar victim-shaming attitudes were forefront when Upma hit Dimpy. 

And for that matter, Pakhi and Adhya (when both were/are in their teens) are extremely similar personalities and both deserved better parenting. Their situations are not similar at all, however. Pakhi was a clump of cells in Upma's body. Adhya was sentinent child with other caretakers around her. In both situations, Upmaa priortised them over herself. Pakhi was a spoilt brat and so is Adhya. Adhya is growing up in a progressive rich household who can afford to and should send her to therapy. Pakhi was a domestic violence victim and Adhya is NOT. Those are facts shown on the show.

Edited by Blueeeee - 2 months ago

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Pakhi was literally groomed and beaten by Adhik. She is a brat but the victim blaming to justify a minor browbeating two adults into a marriage is astounding. Good lord.

adhik was also physically abused by pakhi, she's still abusing him emotionally and mentally. When she was being beaten up by her husband everyone was with her, sympathized and even told her to leave her husband and file a complaint but she didn't want to do that. Instead of having this much support from the WHOLE FAMILY she choose getting mistreated- I don't think she was a victim

And even if she was victim adhik>>>>>>>>>>>>>pakhi

So, if I understand correctly,

The 3 Shah Anmol Ratna are bad, terrible infact.

But they are a product of bad upbringing by Vanraj and Senior Shahs or circumstances. Anupama had NOTHING to do with it. The daughter "schemed" by herself and in collaboration with her grandmother to keep her parents in a loveless marriage, else atleast under one roof. But dare someone call that out as "meddling" with adults' lives. She was just being a concerned child.

Oh wasn't it Pakhi who took her "bestie" posing as a parent to school along with Vanraj? But yeah she was just being naive, she did not need "the talk".

Infact even when Anupama was a in a position to discipline them and set them right (after her divorce), she just could not do that, instead, not just her, her new family had to bear more insults and tantrums. But hey, not Anupama's fault.

Aadhya, who was adopted by BOTH of them willingly, turned out bad because of Maaya's genes. The child's wellbeing is only the father's responsibility. The mother has nothing to do with it.

The foster mother can:

1.Care less to call the daughter who fell ill on a summer camp

2.Make the biological mother live with them

3.Declare without proof that the alleged woman is the child's biological mother, Bet on the child's future without taking the legal route

4. Send the child away despite complete knowledge of manipulation and confession from the child

But the father, who follows the child is a cheat because he is with Bachche ki Maa (who was lusting on him) just like her motivating Bachchon ke pita (who, by the way, was also lusting on her and even proposed for her to return as Ghar Ki Malkin.)

(On a side note: Did she tell Anuj about this proposal? And Anuj and Anupama did not mind her repeatedly re-visiting Shah House after that? Wow!)

Now when Adhya is trying to show the mirror to her father of what hardships occurred in the 5 years and 3 years before that and in a bid to protect him and her both from the past trauma, wants then to stay separate, she is scheming, meddling with adult lives.

Surprisingly, she goes around giving pages of gyan on sanskaar, pyaar, parvarish without actually "getting a chance" to impart ANY of it herself to Any of her children and has proclaimed herself as Besht Maa. Batao.

Edited by Bodhianveshika - 2 months ago

Talking of grooming:

Pre-Adhik Era:

1. Wasn't it Pakhi who was taunted by Leela that as long as her Maa was living in a 1 BHK, she never bothered visiting her but as soon as she got married to Anuj, she wanted to visit them and "missed her mother"?

2. Wasn't it Pakhi who confessed and confided with a friend that she wanted to marry a rich guy and be a socialite and NOT do anything?

This topic was brought up Again when she was dating Adhik when he said that he would be encouraging of a wife who would want to build a career like Anupama and that unfortunately his sister, Barkha never got an opportunity and Pakhi mentioned she did not want to struggle or work, instead wanted to be a socialite, fashionable like what Barkha was today.

Adhik groomed her so well that she turned violent on him and abused him.

Barkha and Adhik intended to lure Pakhi and may be even led them on, but soon realised that she is as crooked or more and with Anupama as the owner if the house and Empire, Pakhi's mistakes would be hidden but theirs would get highlighted (which eventually did happen). Infact, wasn't it Barkha who warned Adhik to stop these advances by when Adhik genuinely started loving her.

Edited by Bodhianveshika - 2 months ago

This show has got down to dogs level