Abhimanyu and Akshara's mental health issues

Abhimanyu and Akshara both have been dealing/dealt with depression and anxiety due to their individual traumatic experiences stemming from their childhoods and subsequent adulthoods. This has been clearly stated/portrayed in the show-

Akshara started with being a music therapist who suffers from panic attacks and anxiety while Abhimanyu has always been shown to be in emotional pain who uses music to hide him himself from the world. Both use music as a therapeutic tool. Abhimanyu has also used anti-depressants after Akshara left him (first leap) and has been in therapy (second leap). He used stand up comedy as a therapy tool too. Akshara was never shown to have gone to therapy but her panic attacks and anxiety has persisted (though more controlled) over the years. Manjari clearly has anxiety issues and needs therapy (she also has a lot of medical problems). Manjari has also faced tragedy -divorce from Harsh (even though it's her decision and it was a loveless marriage- it still is a massive change) and loss of Neil. I always think that Manjari's mental issues compounded her medical problems. 

Anyway my point is- writers have clearly highlighted mental health as a major theme this season. Abhimanyu and Akshara's main problems have been because of their inability to deal with their trauma due to family. They have both symptoms, they both admit they are suffering due to their trauma. Abhimanyu is a surgeon and he uses psychiatric help, Akshara had studied therapy- why are they not showing how they are recovering? And how they are actually using medical techniques to get better? I have seen some character growth in both - way more in Abhimanyu to be honest but I was surprised that they showed him actively using medication and therapy to get over Akshara and become happy, but he wasn't told professionally that how toxic it is to hold on to one person like that. Therapists or psychiatrists will aways tell you to go over the five stages of grief when you lose a person (in this case- through divorce), no matter how dear the person is to you because one has to move on. With what they showed, I would have loved to see Abhimanyu really try to get over Akshara professionally at least so he can rid of all his guilt and anxiety around her. 

I would have also like to see Akshara and Abhimanyu go for pre marriage counselling because there is still a lot of miscommunication between them. I still don't feel they have cleared the air about the past between them- Abhimanyu can be sorry that he divorced Akshara in anger but he needs to get over it and not blame himself constantly about it. Akshara needs to realize that what happened in WD was also her fault- she was extremely careless. Yes she didn't kill Neil and yes Neil went out of the car on his own accord, but she was extremely impulsive and irrational. Abhimanyu had cause to mistrust her because she had been careless in the past- it's a pattern and they had discussed it.  

She was simply lucky to get Abhinav who protected her and her baby. That's a matter of luck or chance, not something that she came with. People prey on vulnerable women all the time-what she did was extremely dangerous. She lied to her family that she was staying with her college friend while she stayed with Abhinav and used his generosity. Abhinav did tell her to go to her friend's place or her BP but she was adamant. He didn't want to leave her on the road, so she stayed with him. I don't blame Abhinav at all for what he did- I think he did his best and she really lucked out. I think he loved selflessly as much as a human being can and I liked that he couldn't restrain his emotions or tears-he tried to be honest. 

Akshara was able to hold her head high and gain confidence solely because of Abhinav. It's really obvious that she felt ashamed in her part in Neil's death and making her sister a widow and niece fatherless- she couldn't even face her own family because they would also blame her. It's like Abhinav is the sun and she's the moon, she is shining because of him and her craters also get hidden. Now that he's no more- I do want her to face what she did. Her own actions and how they negatively affected her own family. Even saying how she was lucky to marry Abhinav but still sorry because she did Abhir from Abhimanyu and was unfair to him. By regretting or expressing remorse for her actions, it wouldn't mean that she regrets or is tarnishing her 6-7 years with Abhinav. I don't why it's so hard for her to be accountable for her own actions- she's always coming across as a victim. 

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions and Akshara's case it's absolutely. We know she doesn't meant to hurt anyone. She's not an evil person. But her lying, escapist tendencies and her inability to be honest and forthright do end up hurting people. For instance, her conversation with Manjari. I liked that she asserted that she can't simply forget Abhinav and her bond with Abhimanyu is now based on friendship and parenthood. That was honest. But then she promised to not hurt Abhimanyu and grow love between them. I didn't like that-it seemed she's doing a favor on him. I wished she had subtly told Manjari to butt out of their relationship and that they will figure it out. That she and Abhimanyu will both have to work on their relationship given their history. Just because Abhimanyu is madly in love with her, and she's not doesn't mean that she's obligated to love him or guilted to love him. It really does feel like Akshara is being told to love him. 

Abhimanyu's love for Akshara- unhealthy and toxic. Abhimanyu can love Akshara for a number of years. But he needs to love himself more. I always felt that Abhimanyu put Akshara on a pedestal where he claims to love her for her all her faults and quirks but in reality cannot deal with it. He is mesmerized by her, is extremely attracted to her and really believes she's his soulmate. But while he has changed somewhat, he still in the same position because he never moved on. But Akshara did. She got married, became a mother and had her own life. She also changed. She fell in love with someone else. She still has her flaws, more now actually. I am unable to understand why he still loves her after all what happened because Akshara legit had no memories of their good times. And Abhimanyu's whole family was also devastated by WD. 

They have also shown the couple to be so incompatible. Unlike other ITV shows, there are no evil people separating them, but the fact that they didn't even have one year of marriage. They should have really covered this in therapy- they fact they had a lot of problems before WD too. 

Abhir: I like the phase of Abhir undergoing therapy after Abhinav's death-poor kid had been through a lot. But it didn't make sense for him to want Akshara and Abhimanyu to get together that too so soon. It felt very unnatural. He was already used to Akshara being with Abhinav, it should have been jarring for him to see her with Abhimanyu. They are using a common ITV trope but it doesn't even make sense here. In the other cases, kid is raised by a single parent and is craving for other parent. Here Abhir was raised by a couple, he had both mother and father. Considering, they had subverted the leap trope this season, they should have subverted this trope too. Like YHM, Pihu didn't want Raman and Ishita together because she thought Raman and Shagun were married. Even later when she learns Ishita is her biological mother, she still chooses Shagun, only later she returns to her parents. But it makes sense, based on what she knew growing up. I liked that Abhir embraces Abhimanyu as Dadda but him clamoring for his parents' remarriage is weird and does not fit the storyline.

Liked a lot of your points and disagreed with some of them but I don't want to discuss the show per se but the main point of mental health. 

I agree that the main focus this season has been mental health, like Abhira first met due to her anxiety attack, this itself should show you how entwined their scars are to their relationship and their understanding of it. 

But....its still ITV and they still don't openly show therapy and stuff and really that is the issue. But I think the idea is that both of them have undergone therapy at some point or the other. Like Ak learning to manage her anxiety attacks and stuff is probably a learned behavior through therapy. Even the reduction in them. 

The issue is that therapy works on being honest with yourself and being that open about your mistakes. Which neither Ak nor Abhi were. Abhi is just now getting there. Your point of not being able to move on, his guilt did not allow him to. That is how I see it. His guilt of throwing her out of his life. His guilt that he himself was not ready to accept. That is what kept him from moving on and kept him caged. But a therapist really can't resolve this for you if you yourself are not ready to acknowledge and accept it. 

Like when he came back from Kasauli and him scrambling for her forgiveness and being scared that he would die is a good benchmark for this. His guilt was overflowing at that point, his guilt that he had kept caged in all those years. And at every major confrontation has only increased his acknowledgement of what he did wrong. Now he has fully realized his mistakes and wants to make up for it, which I do think is a healthy behavior but....they are doing wedding drama instead of resolving those issues directly cause this is ITV. 

Ak on the other hand, has gone way too deep into her own web of fantasy to hide from the reality. Now that reality is slowly coming back to her, we have to see if she actually deals with it or just ignores like always. Again a therapist can help her even less. She herself is not willing so a therapist can't do much. 

Abhinav was her delusion and defense, not her light in my opinion. 

In general, they are both becoming more sorted as time passes and more importantly openly discussing their trauma with each other. I think that is a huge improvement and I doubt we will get much more. 

Akshara is narcissistic and Abhimanyu has inferiority complex 

I agree that because it's ITV they didn't show therapy sessions. But then why mention having them? Why show direct symptoms, taking medication and saying that their trauma has affected them. Everyone goes through trauma, some worse than others. And everyone has to deal with it- that's a given. But there are some people who are unable to manage it-hence they take help. The whole premise of their relationship is their pain which gives them anxiety and depression and they still have not discussed it. I agree they are becoming better now...but their character arcs and storyline is just not matching.

As for my point of Abhinav, I agree Akshara treated him like her shield. She was able to escape because of him. But he also provided a stability and security to her which she really needed. ITV shows people healing each other, which to some extent yes that helps. But nobody can really heal you. Abhimanyu sought salvation in Akshara- that's really unhealthy. Akshara wanted to heal others-provide therapy when she should have focused on herself the most. 

Also there were a lot of contrary things. Abhimanyu liked Akshara because she's like his mother-homely, sweet, sacrificial, non-competitive. He fell in love because he saw her kindness and caring for others. At the same time, he wanted him mom and Akshara both to change. He hated that his mom was weak in front of his dad, that she was submissive and had no self-esteem. So he wanted to build Akshara's self esteem- he wanted her to stay strong in front of Arohi and not sacrifice. At the same time, he was determined not to be like his dad and always respect Akshara. Easier said than done- right? I have always felt that Abhimanyu's feelings for Akshara are layered by his complex feelings for Manjari. Would love if they explore this angle. It's obvious that the writers have thought about this- it's clearly shown. It's been mentioned multiple times that Akshara is like Manjari and that's why Abhimanyu loves her. But does Abhimanyu respect or even like Manjari as a person? He obviously loves and respects her because she is his mom. But Manjari as a person- I don't think so. 

Also another thing I wanted to add here was that there were obviously people separating them. The focus of the show is on how Abhira were supposed to behave in those extreme circumstances. But those are nowhere near realistic expectations. 

I don't want to recount everything the families themselves have done, but simply watch the first wedding and the wedding now and you will see even how many issues they created. As to the big leaps and stuff. 

First leap the obvious villain was that doctor who made Ak sing for a year. Are we forgetting that? What would have happened if that leap didn't happen? Wouldn't Abhira have gotten closer and had more time to understand each other? Like even in that new new shadi, Abhi was still supporting Ak through Anisha's death and all and Ak in turn was supporting Abhi with his hand issue. It was honestly a really amazing relationship at that stage and they are def really compatible. But the show has been disaster after disaster. After that Mahima hid the proofs and then blamed Abhi for not trusting his Akshu. Like I am not saying that those arent issues in themselves, but the show has def blown up Abhira's mistakes which I think a lot of normal, in love couples would do given similar circumstances. 

In real life people do divorce because of miscarriages and deaths in the family even if no one is responsible. And usually divorces done like that due to extreme trauma are not even accepted by the court. You have to go to therapy first and try to work out issues first....which didn't happen cause ITV. 

Basically, the idea of Rishta is that the two people and the two families slowly understand each other over a long period of time even with multiple tragedies and all. 

Originally posted by: Tani16

I agree that because it's ITV they didn't show therapy sessions. But then why mention having them? Why show direct symptoms, taking medication and saying that their trauma has affected them. Everyone goes through trauma, some worse than others. And everyone has to deal with it- that's a given. But there are some people who are unable to manage it-hence they take help. The whole premise of their relationship is their pain which gives them anxiety and depression and they still have not discussed it. I agree they are becoming better now...but their character arcs and storyline is just not matching.

As for my point of Abhinav, I agree Akshara treated him like her shield. She was able to escape because of him. But he also provided a stability and security to her which she really needed. ITV shows people healing each other, which to some extent yes that helps. But nobody can really heal you. Abhimanyu sought salvation in Akshara- that's really unhealthy. Akshara wanted to heal others-provide therapy when she should have focused on herself the most. 

Also there were a lot of contrary things. Abhimanyu liked Akshara because she's like his mother-homely, sweet, sacrificial, non-competitive. He fell in love because he saw her kindness and caring for others. At the same time, he wanted him mom and Akshara both to change. He hated that his mom was weak in front of his dad, that she was submissive and had no self-esteem. So he wanted to build Akshara's self esteem- he wanted her to stay strong in front of Arohi and not sacrifice. At the same time, he was determined not to be like his dad and always respect Akshara. Easier said than done- right? I have always felt that Abhimanyu's feelings for Akshara are layered by his complex feelings for Manjari. Would love if they explore this angle. It's obvious that the writers have thought about this- it's clearly shown. It's been mentioned multiple times that Akshara is like Manjari and that's why Abhimanyu loves her. But does Abhimanyu respect or even like Manjari as a person? He obviously loves and respects her because she is his mom. But Manjari as a person- I don't think so. 

Honestly a lot of this is false narrative. The problem with the show is that there is no neutral voice here. Everyone is talking from their own perspectives and agendas and its upto the viewer to decide what is actually correct which is why we have these discussions in the first place. 

Abhi didn't seek salvation in Ak, he said she gives him sukoon - which tbh, anyone who has been depressed their whole life and is finally with someone who understands will say the same thing. Objectively, Ak does have some similar characteristics to Manjari but not everything is the same. That's why Mahima who I think is one of the few people who has talked about this first claimed in her mind that Ak is same as Manjari and then later claimed she is not as docile as Manjari is. Abhi NEVER stated that he loved Ak because she was like his mom. 

Abhi himself has used this as a compliment in some cases, but mostly as a bad thing. He did not want Ak to be like his mom in the sense of being submissive. And like these questions about Abhi and Manjari and Ak are extremely weird to me. People can have complex relationships and complex emotions about someone. They can like some aspects of a person and dislike some aspects. And for Abhi that is more true than anything. He is capable of loving someone despite not liking somethings about them. He NEVER liked Ak being sacrificial. He liked her empathy and understanding nature. He saw in her mirrored the same loneliness that he felt in his life. And don't everyone in relationships talk about traits of their partner that are similar to their parents, esp the parent they love? 

Abhi likes, loves and respects his mother. There is no instance where he has demonstrated otherwise. He has been frustrated by her and angry for her. But he never treated her with anything less than respect and love. You can recognize someone's faults and still care for them. Still respect them. Like in the beginning she was literally his confidante for everything. He still asks for her advice at times and wants to discuss things with her. Its gotten less over the years cause Manjari became unstable after Neil's death. But beyond that where is this thing of he doesn't like her?? 

I agree! Akshara always thought that if she is mahaan she will be loved or praised but doesn't understand people's emotions. Like she did with Aarohi initially- she tried to be self sacrificial but she also wanted Aarohi to love her and have a bond with her. She did the same for Abhimanyu after leap 1, she thought he will be awed by her sacrifice and love her even more only to fall flat on her face when he decided to divorce her. I agree that Abhimanyu was impulsive and was being led by his anger. It was both their faults. But Akshara couldn't even understand his pain. She never even apologized. I do feel like she thinks Abhimanyu's pain is irrelevant simply because it comes from a place of anger which of course is wrong but she never introspects why he gets so angry. I would love to see Akshara actively work on her flaws rather than just Abhimanyu working on his. Why don't people in her family point out her dishonestly, escapism, her hiding nature pushes them away from her? Didn't she do the same with Kairav? 

They have shown Kaira separate multiple times too and both have accused one another and both were guilty. But both were remorseful, both realized what they did wrong. The families also didn't leave them lightly. 

Originally posted by: Tani16

I agree! Akshara always thought that if she is mahaan she will be loved or praised but doesn't understand people's emotions. Like she did with Aarohi initially- she tried to be self sacrificial but she also wanted Aarohi to love her and have a bond with her. She did the same for Abhimanyu after leap 1, she thought he will be awed by her sacrifice and love her even more only to fall flat on her face when he decided to divorce her. I agree that Abhimanyu was impulsive and was being led by his anger. It was both their faults. But Akshara couldn't even understand his pain. She never even apologized. I do feel like she thinks Abhimanyu's pain is irrelevant simply because it comes from a place of anger which of course is wrong but she never introspects why he gets so angry. I would love to see Akshara actively work on her flaws rather than just Abhimanyu working on his. Why don't people in her family point out her dishonestly, escapism, her hiding nature pushes them away from her? Didn't she do the same with Kairav? 

They have shown Kaira separate multiple times too and both have accused one another and both were guilty. But both were remorseful, both realized what they did wrong. The families also didn't leave them lightly. 

Yep yep! Agree with all your points here. As to her family, I think they did initially try to point out her mistakes and stuff but eventually I think they gave up. Like BP has zero expectations from her anymore and moreover is scared that if he says anything she will leave. So that has become the general atmosphere for everyone that if they say anything to upset her she will leave. At this point only Manjari maybe can point out her mistakes but like you said, if she is told anything with anger she shuts down and doesn't listen anymore. Something Abhi is also learning from this leap. 

IMO, if they want to show a good track for her, they will show her realizing her mistakes slowly and passively. I think the only way is for people to talk about their pain without directly blaming her for it. Then maybe if she is not feeling victimized she will start reflecting. 

Manjari is Abhimanyu's mother and he's the closest to her. Of course he loves and respects her. She really deeply loves him too. But Abhimanyu has suffered a lot because of his parents and yes it's mostly Harsh's fault. Manjari was his victim. But Abhimanyu become a protector as a very young age when he should have been enjoying his childhood. He has never seen his parents happy. As he grew up, he has increasingly shielded Manjari and at last begged her to divorce him. He couldn't stand the constant disrespect she was subjected to. So I think in a way, he was in a lot of pain because he felt he could never save his mother. That's why he was not interested in marriage until he met Akshara and he was adamant NOT to be like his father. 

I agree Akshara is not as docile as Manjari and Akshara and Abhimanyu had a love marriage so their relationship is NOT a mirror to Manjari and Harsh. But I distinctly remember Abhimanyu falling in love with her because she reminds him of his mom. And yes he didn't like her self sacrificial nature in regards to Arohi. I don't know about him. I think Abhimanyu would have never wanted Akshara to leave him or sacrifice for him but he did want to be first for her. He didn't like if she prioritized her family, however he has usually prioritized Manjari over her. Manjari is not an evil person who is consciously manipulative or negative. But Manjari's own failed relationship with Harsh where she was never loved and her adoption of Neil (her husband's illegitimate child) while she hid the fact clearly showcases that she has similar lying, escapist tendencies. Manjari has inadvertently always brought chaos in Abhira relationship because of her constant interference (not ill-intentioned). But because she's Abhimanyu's mom, the one loves the most, he never holds anything against her. But then people generally don't hold flaws against parents, they hold them against other people. Abhimanyu can and has easily forgiven Manjari for any action, but obviously he won't do the same for Akshara. And I am not saying the relationships, should be the same- your relationship with parent vs partner is different. 

In Akshara's case, it was easy to see Aarohi hated her and was using her. So when Abhimanyu helped her get free and Akshara stood up for herself, we all cheered. In Abhimanyu's case, it is way more complicated because Manjari is not doing bad things deliberately. But he still needs to confront her too-for his own good. 

Originally posted by: Tani16

Manjari is Abhimanyu's mother and he's the closest to her. Of course he loves and respects her. She really deeply loves him too. But Abhimanyu has suffered a lot because of his parents and yes it's mostly Harsh's fault. Manjari was his victim. But Abhimanyu become a protector as a very young age when he should have been enjoying his childhood. He has never seen his parents happy. As he grew up, he has increasingly shielded Manjari and at last begged her to divorce him. He couldn't stand the constant disrespect she was subjected to. So I think in a way, he was in a lot of pain because he felt he could never save his mother. That's why he was not interested in marriage until he met Akshara and he was adamant NOT to be like his father. 

I agree Akshara is not as docile as Manjari and Akshara and Abhimanyu had a love marriage so their relationship is NOT a mirror to Manjari and Harsh. But I distinctly remember Abhimanyu falling in love with her because she reminds him of his mom. 

And yes he didn't like her self sacrificial nature in regards to Arohi. I don't know about him. I think Abhimanyu would have never wanted Akshara to leave him or sacrifice for him but he did want to be first for her. He didn't like if she prioritized her family, however he has usually prioritized Manjari over her. Manjari is not an evil person who is consciously manipulative or negative. But Manjari's own failed relationship with Harsh where she was never loved and her adoption of Neil (her husband's illegitimate child) while she hid the fact clearly showcases that she has similar lying, escapist tendencies. Manjari has inadvertently always brought chaos in Abhira relationship because of her constant interference (not ill-intentioned). But because she's Abhimanyu's mom, the one loves the most, he never holds anything against her. But then people generally don't hold flaws against parents, they hold them against other people. Abhimanyu can and has easily forgiven Manjari for any action, but obviously he won't do the same for Akshara. And I am not saying the relationships, should be the same- your relationship with parent vs partner is different. 

In Akshara's case, it was easy to see Aarohi hated her and was using her. So when Abhimanyu helped her get free and Akshara stood up for herself, we all cheered. In Abhimanyu's case, it is way more complicated because Manjari is not doing bad things deliberately. But he still needs to confront her too-for his own good. 

@bold, I would like to know where this is shown, cause I am really confused about it. 

I think Abhi clearly stated that there should be no sacrifices at all. Basically that sacrificing is often dumb, especially when you don't even include the people you are sacrificing for in your plan. He never wanted her to sacrifice for himself or his family. He did want her to put their relationship first, and I agree that he himself has often not done that. 

And yeah, Manjari-Abhi relationship is obviously different. Like they are super close and actually understand each other. Its more similar to Abhi-Neil relationship than anything else. It was formed over many years of being a small unit standing up for each other in front of the larger unit of the rest of the family members. That dynamic just cannot be compared to Abhira relationship. Plus both Abhira had unrealistic expectations of each other that they never did with anyone else. So that factors into their reactions with each other when those expectations are not met. Abhi is waay more forgiving of Manjari than she deserves, for sure, but he does stand up to and tell her when she is wrong and Manjari can be stubborn but she also gives into things Abhi wants. So I don't think there is much to do about that dynamic. Main thing is that Manjari needs to understand her boundaries wrt to Abhira relationship and I think that is the next track anyways.