Rom books ruin women's expectation wrt real-life relationships?

I was going through some conversations on twitter. Some guy tweeted how when women read romance books, it makes them desensitised towards men in real life and that this sort of escapism is also like an addiction. It's leading to toxicity in real life relationships.

A lot of ppl took offense. I gave it some thought as well and realised that he was right.

These fictional men from romance books/shows/movies are tailored for us women and thus the real life men are always going to fall short. No man in real life is going to be that understanding or make a woman her priority like that so aren't we setting them up (and us) to fail.

Do you agree/disagree?

Share your thoughts on this

Originally posted by: trouble_006

I was going through some conversations on twitter. Some guy tweeted how when women read romance books, it makes them desensitised towards men in real life and that this sort of escapism is also like an addiction. It's leading to toxicity in real life relationships.

A lot of ppl took offense. I gave it some thought as well and realised that he was right.

These fictional men from romance books/shows/movies are tailored for us women and thus the real life men are always going to fall short. No man in real life is going to be that understanding or make a woman her priority like that so aren't we setting them up (and us) to fail.

Do you agree/disagree?

I have read tons of romance books and seen many romantic movies. Loved and had crush on a lot of guys from those movie and books but I am always clear in my head that these kind of guys don't exist........I mean even I am not like the women in those movies or books. 😆😆

Pata nhi for me fiction is just Fiction.......The guys looks good and stays in the book for me. The moment I close that book I am in the real world with no such expectations.

Yes. People make blunders in real life😳👍🏼

Originally posted by: Sera-high123

I have read tons of romance books and seen many romantic movies. Loved and had crush on a lot of guys from those movie and books but I am always clear in my head that these kind of guys don't exist........I mean even I am not like the women in those movies or books. 😆😆

Pata nhi for me fiction is just Fiction.......The guys looks good and stays in the book for me. The moment I close that book I am in the real world with no such expectations.

But maybe subconsciously such expectations start seeping in? Some kind of unrealistic expectations from men coz of these books?

I mean, real life mein he's not going to be that understanding or grovel or meet any such standards.

It's kinda here and there for me....

Teens times makes your heart flutter with romance in fiction..... U want that.... See bits of that Or assume and go behind that....

Time and our observation around us slowly bring us to the reality around us... Then it shifts from prince Charming to whoever is better in the lot!!

Early exposure to itv romance and novels does raise our bar .... But life ki thokar sehke humara expectations low hone lagta hai!!

Dose of reality lagne ke baad, fiction and reality ka farak samjta hai....

is baar task se debate mansion mein ronak lage gi? 😳😆

Vibey yaar, wo sab chhodo, what do you think about the topic?

I'm genuinely interested in listening to your (and the rest's) thoughts.

Originally posted by: trouble_006

I was going through some conversations on twitter. Some guy tweeted how when women read romance books, it makes them desensitised towards men in real life and that this sort of escapism is also like an addiction. It's leading to toxicity in real life relationships.

A lot of ppl took offense. I gave it some thought as well and realised that he was right.

These fictional men from romance books/shows/movies are tailored for us women and thus the real life men are always going to fall short. No man in real life is going to be that understanding or make a woman her priority like that so aren't we setting them up (and us) to fail.

Do you agree/disagree?

you have some strong language here and general claims that i gotta disagree with to some extent it's kinda hard to answer this question because it's not a black-and-white issue. do i speak for everyone else? do i paint everyone with the same broad stroke? do i speak only for myself? personally, men in media (books, movies, shows, etc) have not affected how i view men at all. i have never seen any man in any piece of media and thought "omg! i must have someone like him as my partner" 😆 there have been characters that i have found cool or interesting but that interest has been limited to that book or movie/show. once i finish it, i move on and forget about their existence. are there some women out in the world somewhere who are maybe getting too carried away? maybe. but their experiences are not universal, just like my experiences aren't universal either.

even if women are romanticizing certain characters or want their partner to have certain nice qualities that the character has, i don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as they are reasonable about their expectations and the qualities. if they read about or see some super sweet guy in a book or movie, is it a crime for them to want that quality in a partner? i don't think so. it's reasonable to want your partner to be kind. this isn't limited to just media - you might see someone being sweet to their partner in real life and want your partner to do the same for you. sab ki apni choice and expectations hoti hain. you're free to want and pick a partner who possesses the qualities that you like in a person, as long as you aren't already with someone and then are trying to change them to become entirely different than how they already are. just maybe don't cross into the territory of "he needs to be a young, handsome billionaire who is ruthless with everyone else but only kind to me" or something along those lines. yeh unreasonable expectation hai 😆

(gotta put a disclaimer here that this is not an attack on men because people here get offended lol) to touch on your last point - real-life men don't always have to fall short though. if they can't even live up to basic decent expectations then that's on them. why can't they be understanding? why can't they make their partner a priority? ab yeh bhi expect karna ghalat hai kya? if someone treats you right and prioritizes you, then they deserve the same treatment back. sounds like a forced pity party to me. khud ko fix nahi karna and apne partner ki basic expectations pe pura nahi utarna toh put the blame on fictional men and high expectations lol

Originally posted by: vibecheck

you have some strong language here and general claims that i gotta disagree with to some extent it's kinda hard to answer this question because it's not a black-and-white issue. do i speak for everyone else? do i paint everyone with the same broad stroke? do i speak only for myself? personally, men in media (books, movies, shows, etc) have not affected how i view men at all. i have never seen any man in any piece of media and thought "omg! i must have someone like him as my partner" 😆 there have been characters that i have found cool or interesting but that interest has been limited to that book or movie/show. once i finish it, i move on and forget about their existence. are there some women out in the world somewhere who are maybe getting too carried away? maybe. but their experiences are not universal, just like my experiences aren't universal either.

even if women are romanticizing certain characters or want their partner to have certain nice qualities that the character has, i don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as they are reasonable about their expectations and the qualities. if they read about or see some super sweet guy in a book or movie, is it a crime for them to want that quality in a partner? i don't think so. it's reasonable to want your partner to be kind. this isn't limited to just media - you might see someone being sweet to their partner in real life and want your partner to do the same for you. sab ki apni choice and expectations hoti hain. you're free to want and pick a partner who possesses the qualities that you like in a person, as long as you aren't already with someone and then are trying to change them to become entirely different than how they already are. just maybe don't cross into the territory of "he needs to be a young, handsome billionaire who is ruthless with everyone else but only kind to me" or something along those lines. yeh unreasonable expectation hai 😆

(gotta put a disclaimer here that this is not an attack on men because people here get offended lol) to touch on your last point - real-life men don't always have to fall short though. if they can't even live up to basic decent expectations then that's on them. why can't they be understanding? why can't they make their partner a priority? ab yeh bhi expect karna ghalat hai kya? if someone treats you right and prioritizes you, then they deserve the same treatment back. sounds like a forced pity party to me. khud ko fix nahi karna and apne partner ki basic expectations pe pura nahi utarna toh put the blame on fictional men and high expectations lol

Happy to read your thoughts vibey.

But I'm just saying that I feel subconsciously bias seep in kar jaata hai and thus we are moving away from the concept of compromising (which has often been said to be the key to a successful relationship).

About your last point : At the end of the day we do not live in a utopian society. Real life mein people have shortcomings. Then there is the conditioning, thanks to the society. A lot of folks toh don't even know ki relationship mein kya prioritise karna hai, kaha dhyaan dena hai etc. They are unaware of what goes around in these books. So it's kind of unrealistic IMO to think they'll meet some standards they don't even know exist.