Hindu Marriage Ritual: Kanyadaan

Hindu Marriage ritual Kanyadaan was in controversy in recent past, after an ad featuring Alia Bhatt. Many women came out saying Kanyadaan objectifies a woman and should be done away with. There are many instances where Couples dont opt for this ritual. 

According to Shastras, Kanyadaan is an important ritual where the Father gives away his daughter(Laxmi) t the Groom(Vishnu). A Father is said to attain Brahmalok when he performs Kanyadaan. It said, he pays back the debt of his ancestors, by performing this ceremony.

An excerpt from Vedic Wedding Book by A.V. Srinivasan pubmished by Penguin

https://penguin.co.in/understanding-the-kanyaadaan-ceremony-an-excerpt-from-vedic-wedding-book/

May I offer to you, the embodiment of Vishnu, this, my
daughter, foremost among all young women, by my side,
covered with golden ornaments, so that I may obtain
salvation in Brahmaloka.

With all the gods and these witnesses, in order to liberate
my ancestors and to achieve dharma, artha and kama, I give
away this gift, my daughter who is virtuous, intelligent and
beautifully adorned.

According to detractors of the ritual, who basically break the word into Kanya and Daan, The daughter is considered as Wealth or Property which is given away as a donation. In the 21st century, a woman doesnt need to Guardian before or after the marriage, so the ritual is not required.

• So what are your thoughts about Kanyadaan
• Do you think it objectifies women?
• Do you think random people should be allowed to alter Hindu Marriage Rituals?
• Should People who have issues about Kanyadaan opt for Civil ceremony instead of trying to meddle with Hindu rituals?

Tagging few more people.

For the world, Indian weddings are all about the fairy-tale-like, four-day-long extravaganza!! 

But for the bride, it's an emotional turmoil, as she is objectified by the proceeding ceremonies amidst the splendour of the functions on one side. 

Bollywood actress Dia Mirza made the news sometime back after denying to follow some of these customs at her wedding. Mirza chose a female priest and said no to Kanyadaan, in an attempt towards equality! 

Traditions and logic have been at warring heads in India for a long time. Whether one believes in the system or not is a matter of personal choice. But it is imperative to make an informed choice. India is trying to adopt a logical and progressive outlook, and each small effort can make a huge difference. 

Devi, it is a very socially relevant topic with a wide range of scope for various viewpoints from numerous perspectives.

Nice topic devashree.

Kanyadaan is interpreted in a different way here, compared to the common belief.

The Ritual of Kanyadaan

After the Varamaala ceremony, the Kanyadaan ritual takes place. Kanyadaan, meaning “giving away the bride” in Sanskrit, is a symbolic marriage ritual for the Bride’s parents and the couple. The Father of the Bride take’s his daughters right hand and places it in the Groom’s right hand, requesting for him to accept his daughter as his equal partner. This ritual signifies both the acceptance of the Bride’s Father and his official approval to give his daughter away.

After joining the two hands, ‘Hastamelap’, the Mother of the Bride pours sacred water on to the palm of her husband’s hands, allowing it to flow through his fingers onto his daughters hand and ultimately to the groom’s hand as well. Rituals are chanted during this process and the curtain between the couple is lowered once Kanyadaan has been observed.

History Behind Kanyadaan

The Bride represents a form of the goddess Laxmi and the groom that of Lord Narayana. The parents are assisting in the union of the two ‘Gods’ while everyone bares witness. This Hindu wedding ritual is performed as a means of providing consent from the parents of the Bride before continuing on through the ceremony. It is said that Father of the Bride has to give away his most precious possession – his daughter – in order for the Bride to receive great prosperity and good fortune for her future.

https://www.linandjirsa.com/kanyadaan-indian-wedding-ceremony/#:~:text=Kanyadaan%2C%20meaning%20%E2%80%9Cgiving%20away%20the,daughter%20as%20his%20equal%20partner.

I like this interpretation of Bride's father giving away his daughter to groom, to consider her as an "Equal Partner", not as a daan. 

Some people does prefer to have marriage ceremony without Kanyadaan. 

Kanyadaan is a Hindu wedding tradition where the bride's father gives her to the groom. Some people believe it objectifies women and reinforces patriarchal norms, but others view it as a symbol of trust and respect between families.

Personally, I believe that Kanyadaan is a symbolic ritual and should not be taken literally. While it's important to respect cultural traditions, we should also be open to change and evolution. Ultimately, it's up to each person to decide what works for them and their family, as long as they're not causing harm to anyone.

I don't find anything wrong with the rasam. In our family we believe that in this rasam when father gives his responsibility to the groom, the bride accepts the Gotra of her new family and that's it. Some people have got their sentiments hurt because they over thought about the word "daan". Growing feminism has led to people suspecting each and every other ritual/beliefs but I feel people should come out of their mindset that everything but injustice is done to women always.😊

From whatever little sanskrit I had leant during my schooling,

a word may have more than one meaning and its meaning may change depending upon the usage.

The word "Daan" which comes from the  root word "da", depending upon the context, may mean

-donation

-the act of giving

-gift

In context of Kanyadaan, people often misinterpret the word "daan" as donation since that meaning is wider known and used. But that is actually the wrong interpretation. In context of Kanyadaan, the word "daan" here means the act of giving. To give the bride in marriage, which basically means the parents are giving their consent for the marriage of the bride, not that the bride is anyone's property.

It is somewhat similar to "Putradaan" or "Putridaan". Putradaan or Putridaan is not related to marriage, but when someone gives up their child for adoption, it is called "Putradaan" or "Putridaan". Again here, "daan" does not mean donation, neither son nor the daughter are properties of the parents to be donated. They are giving them for adoption, so again "daan" here means the act of giving, just like in Kanyadaan, "daan" means the act of giving.

This content was originally posted by: vijay

Kanyadaan is a Hindu wedding tradition where the bride's father gives her to the groom. Some people believe it objectifies women and reinforces patriarchal norms, but others view it as a symbol of trust and respect between families.

Personally, I believe that Kanyadaan is a symbolic ritual and should not be taken literally. While it's important to respect cultural traditions, we should also be open to change and evolution. Ultimately, it's up to each person to decide what works for them and their family, as long as they're not causing harm to anyone.

@bold: absolutely true, people are too hung up on the word Daan and do not understand that the ritual is mere symbolism of the Father giving away his daughter.

@red: Should we take our rituals so lightly that anyone and everyone can decide what works for them or doesnt?

This content was originally posted by: sxursaep

I don't find anything wrong with the rasam. In our family we believe that in this rasam when father gives his responsibility to the groom, the bride accepts the Gotra of her new family and that's it. Some people have got their sentiments hurt because they over thought about the word "daan". Growing feminism has led to people suspecting each and every other ritual/beliefs but I feel people should come out of their mindset that everything but injustice is done to women always.😊

Very true. Even I dont find anything wrong with rasam. Its an act of a father giving away his daughter. That happens in other religions. I dont think performing this ritual demeans a woman in any way. Its celebrates the bond of a father and daughter. And it is also significant because in Hinduism, it is important that you pay the debt of your ancestors. You do that by getting married and having children. And a father marrying away his daughter, is repaying the debt of his ancestors.

This content was originally posted by: hedwig_potter

From whatever little sanskrit I had leant during my schooling,

a word may have more than one meaning and its meaning may change depending upon the usage.

The word "Daan" which comes from the  root word "da", depending upon the context, may mean

-donation

-the act of giving

-gift

In context of Kanyadaan, people often misinterpret the word "daan" as donation since that meaning is wider known and used. But that is actually the wrong interpretation. In context of Kanyadaan, the word "daan" here means the act of giving. To give the bride in marriage, which basically means the parents are giving their consent for the marriage of the bride, not that the bride is anyone's property.

It is somewhat similar to "Putradaan" or "Putridaan". Putradaan or Putridaan is not related to marriage, but when someone gives up their child for adoption, it is called "Putradaan" or "Putridaan". Again here, "daan" does not mean donation, neither son nor the daughter are properties of the parents to be donated. They are giving them for adoption, so again "daan" here means the act of giving, just like in Kanyadaan, "daan" means the act of giving.

Thank you for elaborating about the word 'Daan'. This is the word that causes people to double think about this ritual. Its sad that Hindus today dont know about their own religion and mis-intrepret it based on false knowledge.