MBK | Dharmakshetra Nano Writing Contest Results Announcement Thread

Posted: 1 years ago

Hello all,

Welcoming you all to Dharmakshetra, the Nano writing contest results announcement thread of our "Mahabharat Katha" private forum.

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First of all, thanks to each one of you who participated in this contest and made it successful by gifting us such beautiful pieces of yours in both Nano Dramas & Nano Tales category. 


Thanks to all the voters who took time to read and voted for their favourites among the 39 and 104 beautiful entries respectively for each rounds.


Lastly, my sincerest thanks to Madhuri aka Viswasruti for taking her time to judge all the entries for both the rounds. Blind judging had been done by her, none of the author names had been revealed to her. 

A special siggy for our dear judge for getting on board to judge these entries. 

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Edited by Quantum-Dot - 1 years ago
Posted: 1 years ago

Popular Choice

Round 1 : Nano Drama


#5. HereAsMyself 


   for the Nano Drama

Made with Love.

Vidura: Coarse fare, Vaasudeva, unlike any you must have consumed before.

Background lights up. Woman with plate of food seen running behind laughing child. Krishna, dimly visible, smiles, implying only he can hear it.

Foreground lights up. Krishna, still smiling, takes another bite.

Krishna: No, wise one. Not for years.

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#5. Loving2Missing2


   for the Nano Drama

Supine Bhishma rebukes Shrikrishna.

Bhishma:“Vasudev. Unarmed Karna was killed. A pious, kind soul! What kind of Dharmayuddha are you doing?”

Krishna: “He would otherwise kill Arjuna. I was left with no other choice. This battle would have ended with all purposes lost. Karna who is now a martyr, would then be biggest villain!”

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#4. DelusionsOfNeha 


   for the Nano Drama

Bhima was blessed by Nagas, and he tormented the Kauravas in mischief. Arjun enjoyed the view from atop a tree.

Yudhishthir: Stop, Bhimsena! You've gone insane with power, this isn't you!

Bhima: Of course, I have. Have you ever tried going insane without power? It's bland and boring.

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#3. Physics_girl 


for the Nano Drama

Lachit : Mother, you taught me to be brave, but if I lose like Abhimanyu?

Nageshwari: He didn't die due to  courage but because of  incomplete knowledge .

Lachit: But didn't his bravery get wasted?

Nageshwari: No, his courage is the reason even his failure is remembered with dignity, son.

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#2. missFiesty_69 


for the Nano Drama

Kanha : Looks like a pigeon! 

Arjuna: It's pigeon.

Kanha: Seems like a vulture. 

Arjuna: Vulture it is. 

Kanha: Its the majestic Garud. 

Arjuna: Indeed!

Kanha: Parth, why wouldn't you tell me what you guess it is ? 

Arjuna: O Kanha, you're Paramarth. Why would be I so foolish to contradict you ?

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Posted: 1 years ago

Judge's Choice (Special Awards for all the 80% and above scored entries and their corresponding authors)


Round 1 : Nano Drama


● vaidharbhi95 


for the Nano Drama 

A Clever Move.

(Draupadi is angrily removing her jewellery with maidservant's help)

Maid : "My brother says wise never get angry !"

Draupadi: " How can Parth bring another queen to Indraprastha??"

Maid: "What if she's  not a queen but a humble servant seeking refuge in your lotus feet?"

Draupadi (Smiling) : " As clever as Govind, Subhadra !!!"

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 oye_nakhrewaali 


for the Nano Drama 

Kunti: You look as radiant as your father, the Sun God. But you are a mistake, an error of my childishness. Farewell, son. That is all I can give you, my precious. I am the most unfortunate mother, and, I know that my misfortune will ruin your destiny.

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● missFiesty_69 


for the Nano Drama

Kanha : Looks like a pigeon! 

Arjuna: It's pigeon.

Kanha: Seems like a vulture. 

Arjuna: Vulture it is. 

Kanha: Its the majestic Garud. 

Arjuna: Indeed!

Kanha: Parth, why wouldn't you tell me what you guess it is ? 

Arjuna: O Kanha, you're Paramarth. Why would be I so foolish to contradict you ?

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● tournesol 


for the Nano Drama

Kunti: I am sorry, putri. I did not know it was you.

When a mother loses a son, her only desire is to see the rest of them together. To never lose them. I just acted like a mother.

On the last day of the war, Draupadi finally understood Kunti.

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HereAsMyself


for the Nano Dramas


After the War.

Panchaali walking. Uttariya caught in doorway yanks her back. Glaring, she pulls at it hard enough to tear it. Yudhishthira walks in.

Yudhishthira: He is dead, Panchaali.

Panchaali (glaring at him): Unlike my pain. Unlike my memory.

Panchaali walks off. Yudhishthira sighs. The torn uttariya flutters in the doorway.

●●●●●●

Made with Love.

Vidura: Coarse fare, Vaasudeva, unlike any you must have consumed before.

Background lights up. Woman with plate of food seen running behind laughing child. Krishna, dimly visible, smiles, implying only he can hear it.

Foreground lights up. Krishna, still smiling, takes another bite.

Krishna: No, wise one. Not for years.

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 BrhannadaArmour 


for the Nano Dramas


Sikhandin (blowing conch): "Hiding behind Asvatthaman and Drona, your life's last seven days ... Face your death!"

Bhisma (laughing): "Wait, Amba!"

Sikhandin (uncomprehending): "Who? 'Mother' ... Ganga?"

Bhisma (blowing conch): "Pandu's five sons want to fight me together. I'll enjoy that battle first, then die."

Bhisma's arrow breaks Sikhandin's bow. Sikhandin falters.

●●●●●●

Dasarni (shrouding Sikhandin's corpse): "Lady, who are you?"

Sthuna: "Sthuna Yaksa. Your husband doesn't need my manhood anymore."

Dasarni (aghast): "A hero's cremation ..."

Sthuna: "Ashes of my organs!"

Dasarni (distraught): "Manhood was his life. Womanhood in death?"

Sthuna becomes male. Sikhandini's body, bifurcated by Asvatthaman's sword, has one breast dangling.

●●●●●●

Yuyudhana (doffing armour): "I told Duryodhana, 'Kill me gloriously, playmate! I've seen enough slaughter.'"

Bhojya (cleaning his wounds): "My childhood ended when you fought Sauviraraja for me."

Yuyudhana shrugs.

Bhojya: "My ten playful babies lie lifeless outside ... ten days already. When I can go to them, what will I see?"

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 Loving2Missing2 


for the Nano Dramas


Krishna's Purpose in Mahabharat: Dharmsansthapan!

Uddhav:  Why didn’t you stop this whole destruction?

Krishna: Vidhata’s Vidhan destiny! A person is made aware time and again of righteousness, but he ignores his inner voice. Then only death can make him face the truth! From this destruction, righteousness will burgeon. Humanity now has the boon of Geeta!

●●●●●●

Paritranaay Sadhunam, Vinashayach Dushkrutam!

Bheeshma: “Mahabharat has ended finally. Had the sides reversed that Pandavas ruled Hastinapoor empire and Kouravas asked for share.  I wonder whose side would you then be on?”

Krishna (smiling): “Do you genuinely believe, Pitamah, that all this bloodshed is just for a piece of land? Righteousness is my side!”

●●●●●●

Draupadi’s revenge: The ultimate fruit

Draupadi (Lamenting): All my sons are dead, how?

Krishna (holding her, consoling): What else did you expect, Sakhi? Revenge is boomerang! You throw it at someone but it always comes back to you. That’s why forgiveness is the greatest virtue! You refused to forgive Duryodhana, outcome is you becoming childless.

●●●●●●

Kuchh hua, Bas Kasam li!

Krishna: Parth, pain at your son’s death is understandable; but your oath to sacrifice life……not pardonable! When will you understand the larger purpose of this universe? Draupadi vowed to tie her hair only with Duryodhan’s blood. Each one of you lives in your tiny silos refusing to look beyond.

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☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


# Second Runner up


 HereAsMyself 


for the Nano Drama


After the War.

Panchaali walking. Uttariya caught in doorway yanks her back. Glaring, she pulls at it hard enough to tear it. Yudhishthira walks in.

Yudhishthira: He is dead, Panchaali.

Panchaali (glaring at him): Unlike my pain. Unlike my memory.

Panchaali walks off. Yudhishthira sighs. The torn uttariya flutters in the doorway.

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First Runner up


 BrhannadaArmour 


for the Nano Drama


Sikhandin (blowing conch): "Hiding behind Asvatthaman and Drona, your life's last seven days ... Face your death!"

Bhisma (laughing): "Wait, Amba!"

Sikhandin (uncomprehending): "Who? 'Mother' ... Ganga?"

Bhisma (blowing conch): "Pandu's five sons want to fight me together. I'll enjoy that battle first, then die."

Bhisma's arrow breaks Sikhandin's bow. Sikhandin falters.

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Posted: 1 years ago

Popular Choice

Round 2 : Nano Tale


#5. Moonks


for the Nano Tale


"Kanha, who am I in your life now?" "You have always been my life Maiyya."

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#5. DelusionsOfNeha 


for the Nano Tale


Krishna was willing to negotiate peace while Duryodhana negotiated the war.

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#5. HereAsMyself 


for the Nano Tale


Arjuna tells no one he saw Krishna weeping with Abhimanyu’s first bow in his hands.

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#5. vaidharbhi95 


for the Nano Tale


Sweat trickled down Bhima's forehead , each drop dissolving his pride. The monkey's tail didn't move.

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#5. Bee222


for the Nano Tale


Draupadi clasped her saree tighter. Long after the ordeal was over, she still felt naked.

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#5. Loving2Missing2 


for the Nano Tale


Abhimanyu had only half knowledge of Chakravyuha, yet selflessly and righteously served his life purpose. 

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#5. Physics_girl 


for the Nano Tale


Mahabharat is over, but its impact isn't.

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#5. The.Lannister 


for the Nano Tale


Krishna had arranged a feast for Rudra. At Kurukshetra. All were invited.

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#4. RainOfDew 


for the Nano Tale


"Lakshmi", said Krishna. Rukmini smiled as she felt her Krishna calling her name.

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#4. MaDiee 


for the Nano Tale


Story glorifying values.

Story fighting rights.

Story enlightening knowledge.

Story establishing dharma.

It's epic - Mahabharat!

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#4. The.Lannister 


for the Nano Tale


One’s ego made Krishna pick up a weapon. Another’s bhakti helped him keep his vow.

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#3. Loving2Missing2 


for the Nano Tale


In Dronacharya’s test, Arjun saw only the bird’s eye. In life, he sought only Krishna!

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#2. Moonks


for the Nano Tale


"Who are you Madhav?"

"I am what you want me to be Parth", Krishna smiled.

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Posted: 1 years ago

Judge's Choice (Special Awards for all the 80% and above scored entries and their corresponding authors)


Round 2 : Nano Tale


● BrhannadaArmour 


for the Nano Tale


 "Can't ... get ... out!" Pariksit whined, inside the snugly tucked deerskin.

Remembering Abhimanyu, Subhadra hugged Uttara.

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● metacrisis 


for the Nano Tale


At the gate of Indraprastha rejoiced the five elephants, with the sixth, their queen, approaching.

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● So-So 


for the Nano Tale

 

Bhima was entrapped! Yudhishthir answered Dharma-related questions, cursed Nahusha was redeemed, Bhima saved from death.

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RainOfDew


for the Nano Tale


"Lakshmi", said Krishna. Rukmini smiled as she felt her Krishna calling her name.

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Physics_girl


for the Nano Tale


Lasting merely 18 days, Kurukshetra battle carries lessons for many more than 18 centuries after.

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● missFiesty_69 


for the Nano Tale


The criminals and the silent witness will pay a price for your tears, dear Draupadi. 

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● Moonks 


for the Nano Tale


"Who are you Madhav?"

"I am what you want me to be Parth", Krishna smiled.

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● DelusionsOfNeha 


for the Nano Tale 


Krishnaa, Yagyaseni, Draupadi. A multifaceted personality and she's mostly known for her five husbands. 

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● HereAsMyself 


for the Nano Tale 


Arjuna tells no one he saw Krishna weeping with Abhimanyu’s first bow in his hands.

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● MaDiee


for the Nano Tale 


Story glorifying values.

Story fighting rights.

Story enlightening knowledge.

Story establishing dharma.

It's epic - Mahabharat!

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 Bee222 


for the Nano Tales


Draupadi clasped her saree tighter. Long after the ordeal was over, she still felt naked.

●●●●●●

Motherly love drowned by fear. Kunti just hoped her child would stay afloat.

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 oye_nakhrewaali 


for the Nano Tales


Her baby wasn't just Bharatvansh's future, he was Abhimanyu's last memory for Uttara.

●●●●●●

Satyavati wasn't greedy, but she was ambitious. Only the ambitious can achieve greatness.

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 Loving2Missing2 


for the Nano Tales


Devyani loved Kacha but married Yayati. Her revenge against Sharmishtha became her bane in marriage.

●●●●●●

Kindama’s curse to Pandu brought powers of nature to incarnate as humans to accompany Krishna! 

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 vaidharbhi95 


for the Nano Tales


Babruvahana unleashes lethal arrow ...   Arjuna Collapses ...

Slayer of grandfather Bhishma lies slain by own son !!!

●●●●●●

Sweat trickled down Bhima's forehead , each drop dissolving his pride. The monkey's tail didn't move.

●●●●●●

Blood oozing from Barbarika's slayed head washed Krishna's feet.

May you be worshipped as KhatuShyam !!

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 The.Lannister 


for the Nano Tales


“Couldn’t you have stopped the war?” “Not when you couldn’t even stop your son, mother!”

●●●●●●

Truth battled injustice & emerged victorious from the smoke of the undying pyres on Kurukshetra.

●●●●●●

Mathura sacrificed. Gokul delighted. Gokul sacrificed. Bharat delighted. No good thing happens without a sacrifice.

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# Second Runner Up


 vaidharbhi95 


for the Nano Tale


Babruvahana unleashes lethal arrow ...   Arjuna Collapses ...

Slayer of grandfather Bhishma lies slain by own son !!!

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# First Runner Up


 DelusionsOfNeha 


for the Nano Tale


Krishnaa, Yagyaseni, Draupadi. A multifaceted personality and she's mostly known for her five husbands. 

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# First Runner Up


 Bee222 


for the Nano Tale


Draupadi clasped her saree tighter. Long after the ordeal was over, she still felt naked.

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Posted: 1 years ago

Now it's time to announce the winner names for both the rounds in respective categories. 


Round 1 : Nano Drama Judge's Choice Winner


●  Loving2Missing2 


For the Nano Drama


Krishna's Purpose in Mahabharat: Dharmsansthapan!

Uddhav:  Why didn’t you stop this whole destruction?

Krishna: Vidhata’s Vidhan destiny! A person is made aware time and again of righteousness, but he ignores his inner voice. Then only death can make him face the truth! From this destruction, righteousness will burgeon. Humanity now has the boon of Geeta!

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Round 1 : Nano Drama Popular Choice Winner


Life_Is_Dutiful 


For the Nano Drama


Krishna: "Radhe! I have to leave you to fulfill my Dharma and Karma."

Radha: "Yes Krishna, the day finally came when I have reached the last step which is your bhakti."

Krishna: "Radhe, Your bhakti'll be greater than my karma. The world'll always take your name before mine."

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Round 2 : Nano Tale Judge's Choice Winner


MaDiee


For the Nano Tale


Story glorifying values.

Story fighting rights.

Story enlightening knowledge.

Story establishing dharma.

It's epic - Mahabharat!

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Round 2 : Nano Tale Popular Choice Winner


vaidharbhi95


For the Nano Tale


His irresistible dimples, mischievous eyes, peacock crown, divine melody of his flute, Rukmini blushed daydreaming !!

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Posted: 1 years ago

Here are the links to my comments on the Nano Dramas: why these ones got my votes; which ones were written by me, which ones didn't get my votes.


Moving on to Round Two, there were a great many insights in these diverse Nano Tales. For my votes, I looked for entries with a special spark - originality, complexity, imagery, or any other mark of creativity.


Entry 26 

Sweat trickled down Bhima's forehead , each drop dissolving his pride. The monkey's tail didn't move.


This retelling of a well-known incident is skillful because it focusses on a physiological detail to make the action vivid. The figurative dissolution of pride with sweat-drops is an attractive use of language. The final words provide sufficient context along with a proper conclusion.


Entry 30 

Arjuna tells no one he saw Krishna weeping with Abhimanyu’s first bow in his hands.


This entry got my vote for its complexity of action, although the words are simple. Abhimanyu's first bow represents the outset of his journey as a warrior, leading inexorably to his death, for which the reader can guess Kṛṣṇa is weeping. Specifying that the bow is in Kṛṣṇa's hands evokes the idea that Kṛṣṇa misses touching Abhimanyu. The additional details invite the reader to imagine: why does Arjuna only see Kṛṣṇa like this, instead of mourning side-by-side with him? What has Kṛṣṇa said publicly that would be contradicted by his private show of grief? Who are the characters of whom Arjuna tells no one?


Entry 37 

Pritha's heart ached everytime she saw her first-born, ever so close yet so far away.


Although I voted consecutively for three Nano Tales about Pṛthā's feelings after giving up Karṇa, it wasn't because this plot point holds any special appeal for me. Each entry had its own unique spark. In this one, "heart ached" and "so close yet so far away" are cliché expressions, but I liked the detail that this story happens "everytime" Pṛthā sees Karṇa, which tells me that her heartache is an involuntary, visceral habit. Karṇa is physically close, but far away in society and in spirit, being a sūta allied with the enemy.


Entry 39 

Motherly love drowned by fear. Kunti just hoped her child would stay afloat.


I applaud the awesome parallel here between Kuntī's figuratively drowned motherly love and her hope that Karṇa - the object of that love - will literally stay afloat. The words effectively bring out her state of mind, feeling one way and having to act another way.


Entry 46 

Why didn’t I ever confide in Mother Satyavati about Karna? Kunti wonders. She’d have understood.


This story asks an intelligent question, and posing it from Kuntī's point of view is the right choice artistically. I would have liked a more precise time setting for when Kuntī has this thought. She uses Karṇa's name, implying that it is after she recognized him, not while Satyavatī was alive. It's plausible that Kuntī always felt troubled by what had happened, even before the conflict between Karṇa and Arjuna, and she would have benefited from confiding in another woman who had had a kānīna child. However, she may not have spent much time with Satyavatī. Mahābhārata implies that as soon as Pāṇḍu was married, he set off on conquest, likely taking Kuntī and Mādrī with him. Then, while Dhṛtarāṣṭra was performing Aśvamedhas, Pāṇḍu stayed in the forest with his wives, hunting. As soon as Kuntī returned to Hāstinapura for Pāṇḍu's śrāddha, Satyavatī retired to the forest, where she died.


Entry 48 

I tended these horses, Nakula thinks as Uttara rides into battle, to watch them die.


This is a poignant scene, acknowledging the horses that were killed in so many battles of Mahābhārata, and the love that Nakula says he has for horses (Virāṭaparvan 3.3). Canonically, this scene couldn't happen when Uttara goes into battle with Bṛhannaḍā as chariot-driver, since Nakula is already fighting the Trigartas at the time. However, it could happen maybe a month earlier, during the battle in which Uttara says his chariot-driver was killed (Virāṭaparvan 34.3). Or, it could happen on the first day of the Mahābhārata War, when Uttara is a chariot-warrior fighting Vīrabāhu (Bhīṣmaparvan 43.74), shortly before Uttara rides an elephant for his fatal battle with Śalya.


Entry 50 

For a moment, Bhishma let himself imagine. A wife, marriage, children...

Never. Vow came first.


Intriguing. When does this moment of temptation happen? Just before Bhīṣma takes the vow? After his brothers die? When his nephews are born, or when the grandchildren are born? Or, while Bhīṣma is still middle-aged? (Ādiparvan 94.18 and 94.40 together tell us that he took the vow at age forty.) What prompts Bhīṣma to imagine his life differently?


Entry 58 

Kunti’s first words to Madri in the afterlife are about Sahadeva. Madri’s are about Yudhishthira.


This story presents an imaginative premise, but it could have more impact if it hinted what words each mother spoke. From Virāṭaparvan 18.28-29, we know that Kuntī was especially concerned about Sahadeva, the youngest, so she might want to tell Mādrī about that. Mādrī might have something to say about Yudhiṣṭhira gambling away her sons' freedom, or perhaps about Yudhiṣṭhira slaying Śalya.


Entry 65 

Ekalavya became better than Arjuna, because all his focus was on improvement rather than comparison.


The word "because" makes this sentence read like an analysis instead of a narrative Nano Tale. It should have been rewritten to make the action clearer. If I had written it... Arjuna fretted, comparing himself to rivals. Meanwhile, Ekalavya focussed on improving himself, and surpassed Arjuna. Nevertheless, I voted for this entry because it communicated several elements of a good story: contrasting characters, tension, and a conclusion.


Entry 101 

That day, Duryadhana cried for loosing a dear friend, for even victory didn't sound good.


In spite of the misspellings of "Duryodhana" and "losing" in this entry, it got my vote for capturing the conflicting emotions of Duryodhana. Although Karṇa is not named, the reader can guess that this takes place after his death, when Duryodhana still has the larger army to win the war, but he cannot share victory with his most valued ally. "Victory didn't sound good" literally matches how everyone shouts Jaya! at Śalyaparvan 5.21 and 6.8, but Duryodhana only wants to die fighting.


Author, author! Please tell me, who wrote each of the Nano Tales that got my votes?


Edited to add: vaidharbhi95 is the author of Entry 26, HereAsMyself is the author of Entry30, DelusionsOfNeha is the author of Entry 37, and Bee222 is the author of Entry 39.

Edited by BrhannadaArmour - 1 years ago
Posted: 1 years ago

My thoughts about the eighty-two Nano Tales that didn't get my votes and weren't written by me:


Entry 32 

Arjuna finally realised how it felt loosing one's thumb, for he lost his Kanha.


This story drew an interesting parallel, but I think it could have been improved with some action and context. If I had written it... Mlecchas grabbing women! Unable to shoot without Kṛṣṇa, Arjuna remembered depriving Ekalavya of his thumb.


These eight stories handled dramatic tension well. I voted for others that I felt were more creative, but I commend the authors for giving us enjoyable stories.


Entry 21 

He took aim, fired and hit the eye. Dronacharya, impressed, handed the Brahmastra to Arjuna.


Entry 24 

Babruvahana unleashes lethal arrow ...   Arjuna Collapses ...

Slayer of grandfather Bhishma lies slain by own son !!!


Entry 25 

Draupadi clasped her saree tighter. Long after the ordeal was over, she still felt naked.


Entry 51 

Mockery. Hate. Arson. Poison. Vanvaas. Dyut. Vastraharan. Vanvaas. Agyaatvaas. The mace descended. Justice. Finally PEACE!


Entry 69 

"I, Arjuna, am now Greatest Warrior!"

Krishna steps down; chariot shatters.

"Hmm, you were saying?"


The canonical story (Śalyaparvan 61.8-19) is that the chariot bursts into flames, and Arjuna has to ask why. The author has toned down the shock value and made it an amusing story of pride humbled.


Entry 79 

"Stoooop mispronouncing Vedas , Father  !!!!!! "

The foetus twisted, wriggled forming eight crooks.

Ashtavakra became it's name .


In the original story, Aṣṭāvakra says, sarvāṃ rātrim adhyayanaṃ karoṣi, n'edaṃ pitaḥ samyag iv'opavartate - all night you give instruction, Father, this does not seem a correct occasion. The author has made a fascinating choice to remove Kahoḍa's curse from the story (Āraṇyakaparvan 132.8-10), and instead have Aṣṭāvakra twist himself in a reflexive response to mispronunciation.


Entry 95 

You can’t challenge him, Go Away!

He can challenge him, go ahead king of Anga!!


Entry 96 

Arjuna appears. Like thunderstorm his arrows rained. The Kauravas, without choice, left. Yudhishthir remains safe.


These fifty-one entries did not have sufficiently clear action to be effective as stories. Nevertheless, the authors have a way with words.


Entry 2 

"You are born to be immortal, my son”, Arjun cried recalling his blessings.


The reader has to guess that the son is Abhimanyu and his glorious death is figuratively immortality.


Entry 6 

His irresistible dimples, mischievous eyes, peacock crown, divine melody of his flute, Rukmini blushed daydreaming !!


Entry 7 

Abhimanyu knew entering Chakravyuh, he won't return alive; if didn't, his life would be meaningless.


The distinction between being alive and having lived meaningfully is thought-provoking, but why end on a note of indecision?


Entry 8 

"Lakshmi", said Krishna. Rukmini smiled as she felt her Krishna calling her name.


Entry 9 

One’s ego made Krishna pick up a weapon. Another’s bhakti helped him keep his vow.


In the original stories (Bhīṣmaparvan 55.80-103 and 102.50-70), it is Kṛṣṇa's ego (compared to the arrogance of a lion - samudīrṇa-darpaḥ siṃhaḥ), his resentment because Arjuna is a soft fighter and Bhīṣma is winning, that makes him brandish either Sudarśana-cakra or a whip as a weapon. Both Bhīṣma and Arjuna speak devotedly to Kṛṣṇa, respectively urging and dissuading him from the kill. This retelling obscures every detail: who else's ego? which weapon? whose bhakti? Why not be clear?


Entry 11 

Ahhhhh !!!!  wailed  Uttara , clutching her stomach, profusely sweating. Krishna was combating BRAHMASTRA in her womb.


Entry 12 

"After Dharm Sthapna we will be reunited Rukmini", said Krishna and Vaidarbhi smiled amidst tears.


Entry 13 

Krishna had arranged a feast for Rudra. At Kurukshetra. All were invited.


The idea of inviting someone to be the food at the feast is classic. The past perfect tense "had arranged" and passive voice "were invited" are odd choices for a story that should be exciting.


Entry 14 

Even Rukmi’s servants turned to hide a smile when their princess caught his hand.


Which princess? Rukmin's mother? His wife? His sister Rukmiṇī? His daughter Śubhāṅgī? His granddaughter Rukmavatī? If "even" the servants have to hide their smiles, who else is hiding a smile - Rukmin himself?


Entry 18 

Kindama’s curse to Pandu brought powers of nature to incarnate as humans to accompany Krishna!


Entry 20 

"Devi can i take these flowers?" asked Dwarkadheesh while Vaidarbhi nodded focussing on Mahadev's idol.


Entry 27 

"Who are you Madhav?"

"I am what you want me to be Parth", Krishna smiled.


Entry 31 

“Subhadre, I will get you a date with that totally random rishi completely resembling Arjuna!”


Is this a modern retelling set in dating culture, or set in ancient times when there were ṛṣis? Is the speaker Kṛṣṇa or a female friend of Subhadrā, or who else? Anyway, characters in a parody shouldn't be aware of their own silliness.


Entry 33 

Blood oozing from Barbarika's slayed head washed Krishna's feet.

May you be worshipped as KhatuShyam !!


Barbarīka is from Skandapurāṇa - Kaumārikākhaṇḍa, not Mahābhārata.


Entry 34 

"Angraj Karn apne baan jaise shabdo ke liye mai kshama prarthi hoon", Draupadi.


For what is she apologizing, and at what point in the canonical story? How will it alter the course of events?


Entry 38 

Yudhisthira looks at the dog. He’d always wanted a pet, but not like this.


Not like what? Yudhiṣṭhira doesn't want a pet when he's homeless, or when he's prepared to die? If the idea is that Yudhiṣṭhira is grudgingly choosing the dog instead of heaven, it should be expressed more clearly. The words that translate to "pet" in Mahābhārata seem to be bhakta-jana - "attached person" is what Yudhiṣṭhira calls the dog, and antaḥ-pura-nivāsinī - "inner-room-inhabitant" describes what the bird Pūjanī is to Brahmadatta, although she forages for fruit all the way to the ocean shore. The dog that Ekalavya tortures apparently belongs to some man who "takes" him along to serve the hunting princes.


Entry 42 

Draupadi looked around the sabha in disgust, they were supposed to be the greatest men!


Which sabhā? The one where she was dragged by Duḥśāsana seems most likely, but it could be the one where she was kicked by Kīcaka, the one where Kṛṣṇa was chosen as a messenger for peace ...


Entry 43 

How could one teach a lesson better than the master teacher, O Narayana!! ?


Entry 45 

O Kanha, I have attained hundred heavens today, for I have seen your true form.


Entry 47 

The criminals and the silent witness will pay a price for your tears, dear Draupadi.


Who is the speaker? Bhīma? Arjuna? Satyabhāmā? Kṛṣṇa? Subhadrā? Dhṛṣṭadyumna?


Entry 53 

Her baby wasn't just Bharatvansh's future, he was Abhimanyu's last memory for Uttara.


Entry 54 

Guru Drona was dumbstruck as Ekalavya cut his right thumb and payed the gurudakshina.


Entry 55 

Do not give yourself this much importance Parth, for everything happens like how's it's fated.


Who is the fatalistic speaker? Which of Pṛthā's sons is addressed? How much importance is he giving himself, and on what occasion?


Entry 57 

They couldn’t disrobe the queen despite attempting. But it became the beginning of their end.


Entry 59 

Created from the ashes of Saptarishi, Ahalya was nothing but a beautiful gift.


This origin-story of Ahalyā is from Bhīla Bhārata, not Mahābhārata, right?


Entry 62 

No one was ready to face Arjuna's wrath that day. He was Lord Rudra himself.


Entry 63 

"Kanha, who am I in your life now?" "You have always been my life Maiyya."


Entry 66 

Duryodhana didn’t attend Draupadi's swayamvara. He had promised Bhanumati that he would never marry another.


This is non-canonical, but does changing the story like this have any impact? Would Duryodhana not show his thigh to Kṛṣṇā Draupadī later on? In Mahābhārata, Duryodhana is pointed out to Kṛṣṇā Draupadī at her svayaṃvara by Dhṛṣṭadyumna (Ādiparvan 177.1), and Dhṛtarāṣṭra mistakenly assumes that Duryodhana was chosen by her (Ādiparvan 192.19). Karṇa refers to Duryodhana's plural wives (Āraṇyakaparvan 226.20). His chief wife is called Lakṣmaṇamātṛ, and the name Bhānumatī doesn't appear until Bhaṭṭa-Nārāyaṇa's play Veṇīsaṃhāra.


Entry 71 

“He was your brother, Yudhishthira. Karna was your elder brother,” Kunti’s tears had no bounds.


Entry 72 

At the gate of Indraprastha rejoiced the five elephants, with the sixth, their queen, approaching.


Elephants are an interesting metaphor for the Pāṇḍavas and Kṛṣṇā Draupadī, and consistent with the royal imagery of Mahābhārata, but what are they doing at the gate, and why is she approaching?


Entry 73 

“Couldn’t you have stopped the war?” “Not when you couldn’t even stop your son, mother!”


Who are the speakers?


Entry 74 

"Tumhare balidaan ko yugon tak smaran rakha jayega putra Barbarik" Krishna aashirvad dete hue bole.


Barbarīka is from Skandapurāṇa - Kaumārikākhaṇḍa, not Mahābhārata.


Entry 78 

Only Kanha could make her laugh at these tough times, changing her misfortune to blessing.


Who is laughing?


Entry 81 

"Dushasan" roared Bheem as he almost hit him in Dyut Sabha with his mace.


Entry 83 

Krishna said, "When a man feels proud of himself, it's intellectual suicide."


In what situation is this remark made, and to warn whom?


Entry 84 

Shakuni laughed. He was leading the boys towards their death. But wasn’t death inevitable?


Which boys, and which death?


Entry 86 

O blue eyed lord! , who could harm Arjuna while you are his protector?


Entry 87 

Krishna’s dead, Arjuna tells himself. The flute that I hear is only in my imagination.


There's a topic about Kṛṣṇa's flute in Mahābhārata. It's nice to imagine that he played it for Arjuna sometimes.


Entry 88 

Arjuna said, " O thousand-eyed lord, please forgive my insolence and grant my your blessings! "


Entry 89 

I never want wars yet in the battle between dharma and adharma, I become Saarthi!


I infer that Kṛṣṇa is speaking, but is sārathi only literal here? If it's an allegory for the Mind driving the sense-horses of the body-chariot, there should be some more detail.


Entry 90 

Accept your responsibility for you chose a priest over a warrior, on basis of caste.


Who is speaking to whom here?


Entry 91 

Last time, it was Surya Dev and this time I would side with Indra Dev.


I infer that Viṣṇu is speaking about Rāma helping Sūrya's son Sugrīva against Indra's son Vālin, and Kṛṣṇa helping Indra's son Arjuna against Sūrya's son Karṇa. Could this riddle be turned into a story?


Entry 93 

He was the unfortunate brother who had to kill his elder brother without knowing it.


What could the author have added to the tragedy of Arjuna and Karṇa?


Entry 94 

Yudishtira's chariot which was four inches above the ground, touched the earth at last.


Entry 97 

Yaksha who was actually Yamraj was impressed by Yudishtira's sense of righteousness.


Entry 98 

Dhanenjaya was astonished to realise his dearest friend was no ordinary man.


Entry 99 

Kunti tried to secure the lives of her sons. Your five sons will remain alive.


Entry 100 

It was said Arjuna was Lady Luck's favorite and sat on his shoulder.


Arjuna sat on which male's shoulder? Bhīma carried the whole family when they escaped the burning house, so why does this story single out Arjuna?


Entry 102 

"I accept Karna as my eldest son" said Pandu looking at toddler Karna.


This is non-canonical; the rest of the story could not have unfolded with Karṇa taking Duryodhana's side after this, right? At Ādiparvan 111.27-30, Pāṇḍu actually tells Kuntī that a kānīna son is a legitimate heir, but she doesn't tell him that she has one somewhere unknown.


Entry 103 

Arjuna beheld His viswaroop in amazement. He folded his hands and bowed with deepest reverence.


Entry 104 

How can you kill a man who has already been killed by numerous people, Arjuna ?


These seven stories rushed through a series of events, which is not aesthetically appealing. The authors had good ideas, but needed to budget words for better diction.


Entry 3 

Udipi king , caterer Mahabharat cooked without wastage , peanuts Krishna ate predicted exact  fatality in10000s.


Entry 5 

Thirsty younger Pandavas died drinking  water, ignoring  crane warning .Yudhishthira saved  brothers answered Yamadharma's questions.


Entry 17 

Arjuna married Chitrangada. A son was born. He remained in Manipur. Arjuna continued his journey.


Entry 19 

Bhima was entrapped! Yudhishthir answered Dharma-related questions, cursed Nahusha was redeemed, Bhima saved from death.


Entry 60 

Dragged into the water, Arjuna rejected her. Night was spent together. Finally, Arjuna married Ulupi.


Entry 61 

Devyani loved Kacha but married Yayati. Her revenge against Sharmishtha became her bane in marriage.


Entry 70 

Yudhishthir diced. Loosing kingdom, brothers, himself, Draupadi. Lost himself; was it justified to pledge Draupadi?


These fifteen entries are analytical comments, not stories. Could the same messages have been conveyed in a narrative?


Entry 10 

“Sootputra!” Karna was rebuked.

When God drove his friend’s chariot, no one dared a word.


Entry 16 

Mahabharat is over, but its impact isn't.


Entry 22 

Abhimanyu had only half knowledge of Chakravyuha, yet selflessly and righteously served his life purpose.


Entry 23 

Story glorifying values.

Story fighting rights.

Story enlightening knowledge.

Story establishing dharma.

It's epic - Mahabharat!


Entry 28 

Krishnaa, Yagyaseni, Draupadi. A multifaceted personality and she's mostly known for her five husbands.


Entry 29 

Satyavati wasn't greedy, but she was ambitious. Only the ambitious can achieve greatness.


Entry 35 

Truth battled injustice & emerged victorious from the smoke of the undying pyres on Kurukshetra.


Entry 36 

Sometimes our personal trajedies benefits a greater purposes, just like Abhimanyu's death was to Arjun.


Entry 40 

Lasting merely 18 days, Kurukshetra battle carries lessons for many more than 18 centuries after.


Entry 41 

In Dronacharya’s test, Arjun saw only the bird’s eye. In life, he sought only Krishna!


Entry 49 

Krishna was willing to negotiate peace while Duryodhana negotiated the war.


Entry 52 

When facing roadblocks, we need to learn focus and determination from Ekalavya.


Entry 67 

Death is inevitable. Everyone becomes Yamraj's prey, some sooner and some later.


Entry 76 

Mathura sacrificed. Gokul delighted. Gokul sacrificed. Bharat delighted. No good thing happens without a sacrifice.


Entry 92 

Ganga's duty was to liberate the Vasus, the price was a heartbroken Shantanu.


Thanks to all the authors for sharing their creative efforts in this contest!

Posted: 1 years ago

I am the author of these Nano Tales. Everyone is welcome to comment or criticize them.


Entry 1 

"Arjuna claims my Krsna's feet," Satyabhama brooded, massaging Arjuna's foot. "Drunk together, we're worlds apart."


HereAsMyself, thanks for your vote! Please tell me what you liked, or would improve.


Entry 4 

"Sikhandin's virile," the courtesans chuckled.

"Enjoy, imaginative princess!"

"Your reluctance nearly caused war."

Dasarni wept.


Entry 15 

"I gave birth. Drona listened," Krpi remembered. "Today, crying for Asvatthaman, did Drona need me?"


Entry 44 

"Son, this pestle's cracked. Throw it back!" Turi scolded Jara. "Hunt something tasty for Vasudeva!"


metacrisis, thanks for your vote! Please tell me what you liked, or would improve.


Entry 56 

"Forget Babhru," Sisupala told Sauviri.

"I have."

"Already?"

"Forgetting both kidnapper husbands, I remember myself."


Entry 64 

As Dhrstadyumna's arrows fell, Pratikamin reflected, "I hold reins of dead horses. Duryodhana holds mine."


Entry 68 

Samba screamed, delivering the iron pestle.

"Worse than battle? 'Babhru's baby,' you joked," Vasumdhara scoffed.


Entry 75 

"Dhrstaketu's dappled horses that once conveyed me home," Karenuvati thought, "reunite us from afterlife tonight."


Entry 77 

"Drona, like Srutadeva, was only visiting," Hiranyadhanus reasoned with Ekalavya. "Citizens forget. Nisadas are grateful."


Entry 80 

"Sakuni taught Citrasena to cheat," Vikarna confided. "Winning never satisfies Citrasena. Always doubts his skill."


Entry 82 

"You're courting Salveya's Uttara? She's our son's age!" Duhsala protested.

"I like pancalika-dolls," Jayadratha smirked.


Entry 85 

"Can't ... get ... out!" Pariksit whined, inside the snugly tucked deerskin.

Remembering Abhimanyu, Subhadra hugged Uttara.

Posted: 1 years ago

Congratulations to all of the winners, and thank you, Quantum-Dot, for this enjoyable contest!


Whoever created the signatures, thank you!

Edited by BrhannadaArmour - 1 years ago


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