I enjoyed reading all of the Nano Dramas. We have such diverse ideas about Mahābhārata, and our approaches to storytelling reflect that, as do our votes.
I will start the discussion with the three Nano Dramas that got my votes:
Entry 10
Lachit : Mother, you taught me to be brave, but if I lose like Abhimanyu?
Nageshwari: He didn't die due to courage but because of incomplete knowledge .
Lachit: But didn't his bravery get wasted?
Nageshwari: No, his courage is the reason even his failure is remembered with dignity, son.
This dialogue imagined between a 17th century warrior and his mother captures the appeal of Mahābhārata, in which the phrase atr'āpy udāharant'īmam itihāsaṃ purātanam - "Even here, they cite this example from history" occurs 108 times as characters question the choices before them and elders feel inspired to retell stories to pass on their values. All of the other Nano Dramas were set within Mahābhārata, but this one illustrated a parallel from fairly recent Indian history, which was a uniquely meaningful tribute. Some context or actions could have embellished this dialogue. I voted for its philosophical gravitas as well as its originality.
Entry 15
After the War.
Panchaali walking. Uttariya caught in doorway yanks her back. Glaring, she pulls at it hard enough to tear it. Yudhishthira walks in.
Yudhishthira: He is dead, Panchaali.
Panchaali (glaring at him): Unlike my pain. Unlike my memory.
Panchaali walks off. Yudhishthira sighs. The torn uttariya flutters in the doorway.
This imaginative scene got my vote for its skillful combination of visual details and dialogue. I don't like inconsistent spelling: the two long ā vowels in Pāñcālī should be spelled the same, either Panchali or Paanchaalii, but that's minor. I love the imagery of a torn uttarīya representing the scars of the woman who wore it, and the doorway for the secure present being always connected to the painful past. "He is dead" leaves it up to our imagination: is Yudhiṣṭhira referring to Duḥśāsana or Karṇa or Duryodhana?
Entry 18
Made with Love.
Vidura: Coarse fare, Vaasudeva, unlike any you must have consumed before.
Background lights up. Woman with plate of food seen running behind laughing child. Krishna, dimly visible, smiles, implying only he can hear it.
Foreground lights up. Krishna, still smiling, takes another bite.
Krishna: No, wise one. Not for years.
This is an insightful parallel between two later-than-Mahābhārata stories of priceless loving devotion: Kṛṣṇa accepting a simple meal from Vidura and Yaśodā trying to catch Kṛṣṇa to feed him. The text of Mahābhārata never says that Vidura had simpler meals than the rest of the royal family, only that Vidura gave Kṛṣṇa food and drink that were śucīni guṇavanti ca - clean and excellent. The text says that Yaśodā was distracted by Kṛṣṇa crawling everywhere, but not that Kṛṣṇa misbehaved after he learned to walk. However, Kṛṣṇa says that Vidura's advice to him is pitṛmātṛvat - like a father's or a mother's, and that is the canonical quality of this Nano Drama. The author's effective use of the medium of a stage drama is evident from the lighting directions. Altogether a delightful scene!
Author, author! HereAsMyself asked me about clothing in Mahābhārata, so I know she wrote Entry 15, but who wrote Entry 10 and Entry 18?
Edited to add: Physics_girl is the author of Entry 10. HereAsMyself is the author of Entry 18.
I am the author of these Nano Dramas. Everyone is welcome to comment or criticize them.
Entry 16
Prativindhya (blowing conch): "Abhimanyu's slayer! Fight me."
Dauhsasani (twanging bow): "After Duryodhana or Yudhisthira, who rules? Neither Laksmana nor Abhimanyu remains - it's you or I! Whoever is quicker!"
Prativindhya (shooting arrows): "I promised Uttara!"
Dauhsasani (shooting arrows): "Either your wife or mine for company!"
Prativindhya's arrow slices off Dauhsasani's head.
Entry 17
Yuyudhana (doffing armour): "I told Duryodhana, 'Kill me gloriously, playmate! I've seen enough slaughter.'"
Bhojya (cleaning his wounds): "My childhood ended when you fought Sauviraraja for me."
Yuyudhana shrugs.
Bhojya: "My ten playful babies lie lifeless outside ... ten days already. When I can go to them, what will I see?"
Maroonporsche, thank you for the vote on this one, and please tell me what you liked (or would improve).
Entry 19
Dasarni (shrouding Sikhandin's corpse): "Lady, who are you?"
Sthuna: "Sthuna Yaksa. Your husband doesn't need my manhood anymore."
Dasarni (aghast): "A hero's cremation ..."
Sthuna: "Ashes of my organs!"
Dasarni (distraught): "Manhood was his life. Womanhood in death?"
Sthuna becomes male. Sikhandini's body, bifurcated by Asvatthaman's sword, has one breast dangling.
Entry 22
Sikhandin (blowing conch): "Hiding behind Asvatthaman and Drona, your life's last seven days ... Face your death!"
Bhisma (laughing): "Wait, Amba!"
Sikhandin (uncomprehending): "Who? 'Mother' ... Ganga?"
Bhisma (blowing conch): "Pandu's five sons want to fight me together. I'll enjoy that battle first, then die."
Bhisma's arrow breaks Sikhandin's bow. Sikhandin falters.
Entry 32
Ksatradeva (to himself): "Training at gurukula, I dreaded mangling handsome Laksmana's body someday." (aloud) "Fight, Dauryodhani!"
Laksmana (to himself): "Ksatradeva was always serious. Today it's really life or death." (aloud) "Saikhandina, let me see you laughing once!"
Ksatradeva (laughing): "You won't capture Yudhisthira!"
Laksmana throws a spear into Ksatradeva's heart.
Entry 33
Sanjaya: "King! The Saindhava horses." (guides Dhritarastra's hand)
Dhritarastra (feeling): "Duhsala's messenger said, Ajaneya breed. Tall, swift, untiring." (guides Gandhari's hand) "They'll draw Drona's chariot."
Vidura: "Beautiful animals, unseen ... winds yoked to fight our friends."
Gandhari (feeling): "Ajaneyas ignore noise and pain to finish the fight. What colour?"
Sanjaya: "Blood."
I guessed three of your entries correctly 😆
They are all well written, capturing the emotions and the essence of characters very well. 👍🏼
Originally posted by: DelusionsOfNeha
It's to discuss the entries, give your views, what you liked and so on. Some members requested to discuss the entries, hence the thread.
You may give your comments for the same.
Results will be declared soon.
We cant discuss in the voting thread?
Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour
I am the author of these Nano Dramas. Everyone is welcome to comment or criticize them.
Entry 16
Prativindhya (blowing conch): "Abhimanyu's slayer! Fight me."
Dauhsasani (twanging bow): "After Duryodhana or Yudhisthira, who rules? Neither Laksmana nor Abhimanyu remains - it's you or I! Whoever is quicker!"
Prativindhya (shooting arrows): "I promised Uttara!"
Dauhsasani (shooting arrows): "Either your wife or mine for company!"
Prativindhya's arrow slices off Dauhsasani's head.
Entry 17
Yuyudhana (doffing armour): "I told Duryodhana, 'Kill me gloriously, playmate! I've seen enough slaughter.'"
Bhojya (cleaning his wounds): "My childhood ended when you fought Sauviraraja for me."
Yuyudhana shrugs.
Bhojya: "My ten playful babies lie lifeless outside ... ten days already. When I can go to them, what will I see?"
Maroonporsche, thank you for the vote on this one, and please tell me what you liked (or would improve).
Entry 19
Dasarni (shrouding Sikhandin's corpse): "Lady, who are you?"
Sthuna: "Sthuna Yaksa. Your husband doesn't need my manhood anymore."
Dasarni (aghast): "A hero's cremation ..."
Sthuna: "Ashes of my organs!"
Dasarni (distraught): "Manhood was his life. Womanhood in death?"
Sthuna becomes male. Sikhandini's body, bifurcated by Asvatthaman's sword, has one breast dangling.
Entry 22
Sikhandin (blowing conch): "Hiding behind Asvatthaman and Drona, your life's last seven days ... Face your death!"
Bhisma (laughing): "Wait, Amba!"
Sikhandin (uncomprehending): "Who? 'Mother' ... Ganga?"
Bhisma (blowing conch): "Pandu's five sons want to fight me together. I'll enjoy that battle first, then die."
Bhisma's arrow breaks Sikhandin's bow. Sikhandin falters.
Entry 32
Ksatradeva (to himself): "Training at gurukula, I dreaded mangling handsome Laksmana's body someday." (aloud) "Fight, Dauryodhani!"
Laksmana (to himself): "Ksatradeva was always serious. Today it's really life or death." (aloud) "Saikhandina, let me see you laughing once!"
Ksatradeva (laughing): "You won't capture Yudhisthira!"
Laksmana throws a spear into Ksatradeva's heart.
Entry 33
Sanjaya: "King! The Saindhava horses." (guides Dhritarastra's hand)
Dhritarastra (feeling): "Duhsala's messenger said, Ajaneya breed. Tall, swift, untiring." (guides Gandhari's hand) "They'll draw Drona's chariot."
Vidura: "Beautiful animals, unseen ... winds yoked to fight our friends."
Gandhari (feeling): "Ajaneyas ignore noise and pain to finish the fight. What colour?"
Sanjaya: "Blood."
You have given so many entries and all of them were amazing. But sadly we are restricted to vote only for 3.
All your entries gives the clear visuals of what is happening.
Btw, what should I address you as ?
I would have loved to discuss more about the entries but my mind is not at the right place these days as I am occupied with something.
And thank you so much for voting and reviewing my entry no. 10. And yes as you said I should have added context but the word limit😁. Thank you for taking so much time and effort 🤗
nahi 😆
My thoughts about the thirty Nano Dramas that didn't get my votes and weren't written by me:
These twelve entries analyzed Mahābhārata for a moral instead of dramatizing a story. A good drama should have more action than an essay, so I didn't vote for them, but I will comment on the characters and content of each Nano Drama.
Entry 2
Supine Bhishma rebukes Shrikrishna.
Bhishma:“Vasudev. Unarmed Karna was killed. A pious, kind soul! What kind of Dharmayuddha are you doing?”
Krishna: “He would otherwise kill Arjuna. I was left with no other choice. This battle would have ended with all purposes lost. Karna who is now a martyr, would then be biggest villain!”
Bhīṣma would have wanted a pious, kind soul to die in battle and go to heaven. Bhīṣma disagreeing with Kṛṣṇa's actions is an interesting departure from Bhīṣma's faith in Kṛṣṇa in Mahābhārata, but Bhīṣma's belief in fair fighting is authentic.
Entry 4
Bhishma Rebuking Vidura for Mahabharat.
Bhishma: “Why aren’t you stopping this? This battle arises from all personal agendas. Amba wants to kill me, Drupad is avenging Dronacharya! Draupadi wants battle as her revenge. Are all these conflicts mounting to Great Mahabharat? What happens to innocent soldiers and their families? What is the message to humanity?”
Without the extra five words of the title, the reader wouldn't know that the forty-nine words spoken by Bhīṣma are addressed to Vidura. It's unexpected that anyone would blame Vidura for the war, as if he could have persuaded Śikhaṇḍin and Drupada, or as if it made sense to tell the Pāṇḍavas to live in degradation as refugees of Virāṭa, Drupada, Kṛṣṇa etc. The character of Bhīṣma in this Nano Drama is radically different from the man who called Ambā a snake when he could have avoided twenty-four days of battle by giving her a place to stay. Nonviolence is a nice message for a play, but it doesn't belong in the mouth of Bhīṣma who personally killed 10,000 ordinary soldiers every day, not to mention innocent horses and elephants.
Entry 5
Krishna: "Radhe! I have to leave you to fulfill my Dharma and Karma."
Radha: "Yes Krishna, the day finally came when I have reached the last step which is your bhakti."
Krishna: "Radhe, Your bhakti'll be greater than my karma. The world'll always take your name before mine."
The Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa pairing is non-canonical for Mahābhārata, of course, but that rule is up to Quantum-Dot. An incident to illustrate bhakti would have been more appealing than an abstract conversation about it. This play leaves it up to the reader to guess what Kṛṣṇa thought was his dharma and karma.
Entry 24
Draupadi: Why did I have to suffer this fate, Sakha? (breaks down) Why do women always have to suffer? Today I fell weak even with five husbands to take care of me.
Krishna: Don’t cry, Sakhi. Dharma never spares those who commit adharma. Can you hear the conchshells?
Mahābhārata has a Strīparvan - Book of Women, but does any character say it's adharma to inflict suffering on an enemy's women? Kṛṣṇā Draupadī in the text never identifies with women as a demographic class; rather, she identifies as a queen. She not only wants the men who mistreated her to suffer, she says that their women should suffer bleeding and exposure as she did. "Fell weak" instead of "was vulnerable" is not an English expression like "fell silent" or "fell sick" (or the colloquial "fell pregnant"); it is a literal translation of a Hindi expression that sounds funny in English. The sound of conchshells foreshadowing the war is a nice touch.
Entry 27
Vyas warns Satyavatimata.
Vyas: “Mother, please understand you have a choice here. Children born from me can never be true heirs to Kuru Dynasty. Understand messages given from the universe to your plans and ambitions. Take learning from King Bharata. Otherwise, as I perceive, your acts will create Mahabharat in near future!”
There are several anachronistic ideas here that could be interesting, but when they're strung together in one speech of forty-nine words, it becomes impossible to explain any of them coherently. What choice does Satyavatī have? To leave her daughters-in-law childless and send her son and his forefathers to hell without a piṇḍa from śrāddha? Would a kingless kingdom become a democracy by default? What does "true heirs" mean? In a society that accepts kṣetraja heirs as legitimate, what is Vyāsa's reasoning that they're not? What lesson is to be learned from the universe and King Bharata? If the Vyāsa character in this Nano Drama is alluding to the misconception that Bharata adopted his heir, how does approval of inter-caste adoption become an argument to disapprove of inter-caste insemination? A narrower focus and allowing both characters to express their points of view would have improved this entry.
Entry 28
Paritranaay Sadhunam, Vinashayach Dushkrutam!
Bheeshma: “Mahabharat has ended finally. Had the sides reversed that Pandavas ruled Hastinapoor empire and Kouravas asked for share. I wonder whose side would you then be on?”
Krishna (smiling): “Do you genuinely believe, Pitamah, that all this bloodshed is just for a piece of land? Righteousness is my side!”
Bhīṣma's hypothetical question is intriguing, but Kṛṣṇa's response is out of character, implying that he would have caused all of the bloodshed anyway just to kill the unrighteous Dhārtarāṣṭras. Throughout Mahābhārata, Kṛṣṇa gets a lot of characters killed for political reasons, never engaging in a crusade against unrighteousness. His goal is security with minimal casualties on his side, such as when he avoids war by convincing Ḍibhaka and Haṃsa to off themselves, flees from Mathurā instead of engaging with Jarāsaṃdha's army, gets Jarāsaṃdha killed in a wrestling match instead of an army-match, kills Śiśupāla in a social gathering because he was invincible in battle, or seeks a peaceful compromise with Duryodhana. Even when Kṛṣṇa dances because unrighteous Ghaṭotkaca is dead, he points out that he refrained from killing Ghaṭotkaca to keep the Pāṇḍavas happy, and that Ghaṭotkaca lived long enough to serve his purposes. While the author of this Nano Drama has the right to put any words in Kṛṣṇa's mouth, in Mahābhārata, even where Kṛṣṇa speaks as omnipotent God I don't think he ever scoffs at "a piece of land" - nor would any other philosopher in Mahābhārata disrespect the Earth Goddess like that. Everyone recognized that land and cattle were essential for a kṣatriya's survival and self-respect, and the Pāṇḍavas were fighting for their self-respect. Altogether, this entry got me to think hard about Mahābhārata!
Entry 30
Krishna puts Draupadi in place.
Draupadi (screeching): “If your sandhi succeeds, then what about my untied hair?”
Krishna: “If I don’t go for Sandhi, what about Duryodhan’s ego whom you humiliated for his father’s physical disability? What happens to the hair of all Hastinapur women who are also my sisters? IT'S NOT YOUR PERSONAL BATTLE !”
This is quite the reversal of Udyogaparvan 80.33-49, where Kṛṣṇā Draupadī with eyes filled with tears shows her gently gathered and pleasantly scented hair to Kṛṣṇa and asks him to remember it at all times as he works for saṃdhi with the other side. She assures him that even if Bhīma and Arjuna want peace, her old father, her five sons, and Abhimanyu will fight her personal battle. Then she sobs convulsively. And Kṛṣṇa assures her, acirād drakṣyase Kṛṣṇe rudatīr Bharata-striyaḥ. evaṃ tā bhīru rotsyanti nihata-jñāti-bāndhavāḥ hata-mitrā hata-balā yeṣāṃ kruddhā'si bhāmini! "Not much longer; you'll see, Kṛṣṇā, the weeping Bharata women. Timid one, like this they'll weep when their relations and family are slain, their friends killed, their army killed, the women of whom you're furious, radiant one!" It's interesting to see Kṛṣṇā Draupadī in this Nano Drama as a stereotypical screeching harpy who needs to be put in her place by a chivalrous Kṛṣṇa! In Mahābhārata, Kṛṣṇa only interacts with Subhadrā, Nidrā/Kauśikī, and Ekānaṃśā as his sisters, not even with his priyā sakhī (drinking buddy) Kṛṣṇā Draupadī, let alone miscellaneous Hāstinapura women.
Entry 31
Kuchh hua, Bas Kasam li!
Krishna: Parth, pain at your son’s death is understandable; but your oath to sacrifice life……not pardonable! When will you understand the larger purpose of this universe? Draupadi vowed to tie her hair only with Duryodhan’s blood. Each one of you lives in your tiny silos refusing to look beyond.
At Droṇaparvan 54.18-24, Kṛṣṇa assures Subhadrā that Abhimanyu is in heaven and she'll feel all better tomorrow when she hears that Jayadratha's head has been shot out of Samantapañcaka. This alternative Kṛṣṇa who preaches the sanctity of life (directly contradicting his earlier remarks in Bhagavad-Gītā: jātasya hi dhruvo mṛtyur dhruvaṃ janma mṛtasya ca tasmād aparihārye'rthe na tvaṃ śocitum arhasi - for the born, death is certain, and birth is certain for the dead; so, when the fact is unavoidable, you shouldn't worry about it) is certainly provocative, but a drama should focus on the conflict between Arjuna and Kṛṣṇa through dialogue and action, without digressing into Draupadī's hair-tying vow (from Bhaṭṭa-Nārāyaṇa's play Veṇisaṃhāra, not from Mahābhārata) and idiomatic silos.
Entry 35
The last Kaurava!
Bheeshma (eyes red in anger): You all are cousins and you fight like cats and dogs! And for what? Piece of land that’s not yours from any perspective? In this Mahasabha today, I- Bheeshma- the last Kaurava throws this Rajdand and challenges you to defeat me to pick it up.
Hypocrisy can be dramatic, and Bhīṣma teaching his grandsons not to fight by challenging them to fight sounds amusing, but this is a cliffhanger, not a complete drama. Why does Bhīṣma call himself the last Kaurava? He says that the land isn't theirs "from any perspective" - but they all lived in a society that recognized kṣetraja sons as legitimate heirs. The author is free to imagine Bhīṣma as a medieval knight throwing down a gauntlet in a Church-dominated society that regarded out-of-wedlock children as illegitimate, but that needs to be written clearly into the fiction.
Entry 36
Stree ka doosra naam- Bandini
Draupadi: When I got married, the one marrying me called me Bheeksha! My mother-in-law, in spite of being a woman, advised me to bed five men! Yet, I fulfilled every duty of mine to each of them. In my humiliation, not one husband of mine fulfilled their duty to me!
Each of these complaints could have been dramatic on its own, if the scene had some details of action. Stringing them all together in this monologue, without any setting, leaves the reader wondering: is Kṛṣṇā Draupadī speaking to a divorce lawyer, a therapist, or a bartender?
Entry 37
Draupadi’s revenge: The ultimate fruit
Draupadi (Lamenting): All my sons are dead, how?
Krishna (holding her, consoling): What else did you expect, Sakhi? Revenge is boomerang! You throw it at someone but it always comes back to you. That’s why forgiveness is the greatest virtue! You refused to forgive Duryodhana, outcome is you becoming childless.
The boomerang metaphor tells me that this scene is set in Australia, and I guess the characters are also inverted down under. Kṛṣṇā Draupadī at Sauptikaparvan 11.10-15 felt grief but not surprise that her sons died according to kṣatra-dharma, fighting the enemy. She immediately demanded revenge against Aśvatthāman, and Kṛṣṇa went along with her husbands to fulfil it, ultimately cursing Aśvatthāman to be stinky with disease for 3,000 years. Then, at Sauptikaparvan 16.26-32, Bhīma told Kṛṣṇā Draupadī to remember with pride that when Kṛṣṇa had set out to make peace, she had spoken up for kṣatra-dharma, ready to disown everyone who settled for the kingdom without punishing the enemy: n'aiva me patayaḥ santi na putrā bhrātaro na ca n'aiva tvam api Govinda śamam icchati rājani - No husbands are really mine, no sons, no brothers, nor you, really, Govinda, if the King wants to settle! Fortunately, she didn't have to disown her sons; they only lost their lives, not their honour. Taking revenge meant, as Bhīma says: vairasya gatam ānṛṇyaṃ, na sma vācyā vivakṣatām - we've discharged our debt to enmity, and we can't be reproached by gossips. Whereas Mahābhārata's Kṛṣṇa takes instruction in kṣatriya values from Kṛṣṇā Draupadī, this Nano Drama has him teaching her the brāhmaṇa virtue of forgiveness. If only Kṛṣṇa had forgiven Jarāsaṃdha for invading Mathurā, there would have been no Rājasūya, no dice ...
Entry 38
Krishna's Purpose in Mahabharat: Dharmsansthapan!
Uddhav: Why didn’t you stop this whole destruction?
Krishna: Vidhata’s Vidhan destiny! A person is made aware time and again of righteousness, but he ignores his inner voice. Then only death can make him face the truth! From this destruction, righteousness will burgeon. Humanity now has the boon of Geeta!
Uddhava is a cryptic character in Mahābhārata, whose thoughts we never hear, although he is supposedly equal to Vidura in political expertise, and he wisely goes away just in time to escape the massacre at Prabhāsa. It's fascinating to imagine Uddhava inquiring about some destructive event that Kṛṣṇa allowed. Is he referring to the war in which the Nārāyaṇa gopa army perished, or the massacre in which the Sātvata clan perished? Why does Kṛṣṇa give a spiritual reply to Uddhava's practical question? Who is this nameless person who ignored his inner voice, and what truth did he face when he or someone else died? The final mention of Bhagavad-Gītā, which exhorts human effort, seems out of place in a speech that credits destiny for everything.
These next four entries were funny, but I had to choose between what made me laugh and what evoked a more thoughtful response.
Entry 8
In the forest.
Arjun: Are you certain this is the right path?
Bhima: Definitely.
Nakul : Nope, we're definitely lost.
Yudhishthir: I trust Bhima.
Sahdev : You think he knows where we're heading?
Yudhishthir: I wouldn't go that far.
Nakul : We aren't, we've circled this tree thrice.
Fitting five characters' dialogue within the word limit is an accomplishment. I would have liked this scene better if it had brought out the characters as contrasting individuals, or included something unique to Mahābhārata. On the other hand, a situation that could happen to anyone on a hiking trail or scouting expedition is relatable.
Entry 12
Bhima was blessed by Nagas, and he tormented the Kauravas in mischief. Arjun enjoyed the view from atop a tree.
Yudhishthir: Stop, Bhimsena! You've gone insane with power, this isn't you!
Bhima: Of course, I have. Have you ever tried going insane without power? It's bland and boring.
Cute punch line! I think this one is a bit wordy at the beginning. Could the same information be expressed in dialogue to make it more dramatic?
Entry 23
During a hunt.
Arjun: Don't worry, I've got a few arrows up my sleeve.
Nakul: You mean knives?
Arjun, pulling arrows from his sleeves: No.
Sahdev: Do you accept constructive criticism?
Bhima, without realising question wasn't for him: Only juicy fruits.
The humour in this dialogue comes from non sequiturs, but there should still be underlying logic to the flow of images. Sleeves in Mahābhārata? Maybe they were hunting in Japan. Hunting wasn't close-range, so why does Nakula expect knives instead of arrows?
Entry 39
Kanha : Looks like a pigeon!
Arjuna: It's pigeon.
Kanha: Seems like a vulture.
Arjuna: Vulture it is.
Kanha: Its the majestic Garud.
Arjuna: Indeed!
Kanha: Parth, why wouldn't you tell me what you guess it is ?
Arjuna: O Kanha, you're Paramarth. Why would be I so foolish to contradict you ?
This entertaining Nano Drama satirizes blind faith concisely, and I like its variety of diction. This Arjuna is more credulous than the one who demanded of Kṛṣṇa: vyāmiśreṇ'eva vākyena buddhiṃ mohayas'īva me, tad ekaṃ vada niścitya - with your mixed-up speech, you're confusing my thoughts, so pick one thing and say it! Kṛṣṇa's teasing in this dialogue is also unlike how he speaks in Mahābhārata. Of course, characters can speak differently in different moods, and the author is free to explore that.
I like how these next two entries concisely dramatize incidents from the story within fifty words. However, in each case the author should have embellished the existing story with something original, like an allusion or metaphor.
Entry 1
Arjuna (in battelfield) : Jayadratha, you will be killed! If it doesn’t happen before sunset, my life is forfeit! "
Jayadratha: laughing (leaves, hide)
Krishna (shield sun).
Jayadratha (appeared).
Arjuna: Jayadratha, you killed my son!"
Arjuna's arrow severed his head, fell into Jayadratha's father's lap, to earth, broke into thousand pieces.
Probably the most dramatically engaging episode in Mahābhārata is Arjuna's effort to reach Jayadratha by the deadline, and it is ambitious of the author to recreate it. If the first and last lines had been trimmed, leaving more words for dialogue to accompany the action in the middle, this could have been an even better play.
Entry 3
Sanjaya tells Dhritarashtra.
Mice: "Be our gracious protection,virtuous cat."
Cat: Granted! Obey me! Carry me to riverside!"
(Cat grows fat)
Mice: "Uncle‘s getting stronger, we‘re getting less."
Dindika: "Go to riverside, will follow with uncle".
(Mice at riverside, confused)
Kilika: Uncle‘s a hypocrite! He‘s our enemy!"
(Mice run away)
This is an amusing story from an apocryphal passage in Udyogaparvan. Duryodhana tells it to Ulūka as part of his message to Yudhiṣṭhira. The author's original contribution is to have Saṃjaya telling the story to Dhṛtarāṣṭra instead, but for what purpose? The author has balanced dialogue with visuals to move the plot effectively.
These last twelve entries retold incidents with a lot of originality, and I applaud the authors for that.
Entry 6
Hidimba: He is huge, almost like a giant. But he is so beautiful. I can sense that behind that exterior was a kind and giving heart. I want him. I need him. And I will fight the world to be with him. Bhrata, I wish to marry him.
The ending of this monologue was a surprise: Hiḍimbā is telling her feelings to Hiḍimba! Instead of him sending her alone, as in Mahābhārata, this Nano Drama implies that they arrive together to devour the humans. The play is incomplete due to the cliffhanger, and the monologue should have been trimmed to fix that.
Entry 7
Bharat, created with love, and marred by rejection of the very father he adored. The boy’s heart quivered seeing his mother’s tears.
Bharat: Your love is enough for me, Maa. We don’t need him. Gods are a witness to this; they won’t spare Hastinapur for making a mother cry.
The idea that Bharata cursed his own descendants to avenge his father's cheating his mother Śakuntalā is surprising, but the adoration, rejection, and tears should be dramatized, not narrated at length before one line of dialogue. This entry got me thinking, what if Śakuntalā's words - ṛte'pi tvayi Duḥṣanta śaila-rāj'āvataṃsakām catur-antām imām urvīṃ putro me pālayiṣyati - even without you, Duḥṣanta, my son will govern this earth, adorned by the mountain-king, to its four borders - had come true?
Entry 9
After the bloodthirsty battle of Kurukshetra ended, final rites were being given.
Krishna: Parth, Karna was your eldest brother, he too deserves a shraddhanjali. Don’t hesitate from your dharma.
Arjun: Madhava!!! My dharma was to give my life for my brother, not taking it!!! I’m a collapsed, defeated man today.
This play feels authentic with the characters' emotions and reflection on dharma. The preamble is too much narration for a drama. Could a visual ending have made Arjuna's sense of loss more powerful?
Entry 11
Gandhari: Why have my children failed me? Why has my womb failed me? It has been two years. Two long years of wait, two years of agony. But my Swaami's patience is dwindling. I will die rather than fail him. The thought of failing me haunts me and kills me.
Gāndhārī's soliloquy is certainly dramatic, but this play needs some action - maybe an announcement of Yudhiṣṭhira's birth or a vaiśyā's pregnancy by Dhṛtarāṣṭra? Women in Mahābhārata didn't use the word svāmin for their husbands, right? Gāndhārī called Dhṛtarāṣṭra by his personal name, his patronymic Vaicitravīrya, his matronymic Āmbikeya, a family name such as Kaurava, Ājamīḍha, or Bhārata, or some honorific like nararṣabha, puruṣarṣabha, Bharatarṣabha etc. that ended in "bull."
Entry 13
Kunti: I am sorry, putri. I did not know it was you.
When a mother loses a son, her only desire is to see the rest of them together. To never lose them. I just acted like a mother.
On the last day of the war, Draupadi finally understood Kunti.
The idea of Kuntī and Kṛṣṇā Draupadī talking about motherhood is good, but in a play, both of them should get to speak! The reader shouldn't have to guess that Kuntī is belatedly apologizing for replying, "bhuṅkta sametya sarve" when Bhīma and Arjuna announced "bhikṣā." "The last day of the war" was the day before Kṛṣṇā Draupadī heard that her sons were killed at night, the day before Kuntī revealed that Karṇa was her son, but even assuming that the author means the day after the war, the thought process of Kṛṣṇā Draupadī understanding Kuntī should be more explicit and expressive. It's not obvious how losing sons to a war parallels not wanting sons to fight over a woman or giving up a newborn baby. Nevertheless, I appreciate the author's effort to create a theme in this entry.
Entry 14
A Clever Move.
(Draupadi is angrily removing her jewellery with maidservant's help)
Maid : "My brother says wise never get angry !"
Draupadi: " How can Parth bring another queen to Indraprastha??"
Maid: "What if she's not a queen but a humble servant seeking refuge in your lotus feet?"
Draupadi (Smiling) : " As clever as Govind, Subhadra !!!"
Subhadrā passing for a maid is an inspired improvement on the original story that red-silk-dressed Subhadrā was sent by Arjuna in gopālikā-vapuḥ - cowherdess style to say, "preṣyā'ham - I'm (your) gofer," at which Kṛṣṇā Draupadī embraced her and quipped, "niḥsapatno'stu te patiḥ - unrivalled be your husband (and not I)!" The dialogues of this Nano Drama are good, like the maid mentioning her brother. Could there have been more buildup of Kṛṣṇā Draupadī gradually suspecting that this must be Subhadrā?
Entry 20
A WARNING.
( Nahush is making Saptarishis pull his chariot to Indrani's quarters)
Agastya : " Thou art wedded to the daughter of Mahadeva. Do not commit the sin of Indra by lusting another man's wife."
Nahush : " I was tied to AshokSundari before I was born . Is that fair ? Sachidevi is mine and rightfully so !! "
The author's unique choice of a story to dramatize and the points made in the dialogue are both imaginative. "The sin of Indra" is an allusion to Ahalyā, I guess. Nahuṣa's marriage to Aśokasundarī is from Padmapurāṇa, non-canonical for Mahābhārata, in which his wife's name is Priyavāsas or Virajas (the mind-born daughter of the Susvadha forefathers worshipped by vaiśyas). Anyway, if Agastya is saying that Nahuṣa should be monogamous, but Nahuṣa denies being legally married, and Nahuṣa is claiming Śacī because he has Indra's position now, their reasoning should be made as clear as possible. The ending left me wondering whether Nahuṣa persuaded Agastya.
Entry 21
Princess Pritha stood indecisively taking in her new palace, her identity changed overnight being given away in adoption to her maternal uncle, Maharaj Kuntibhoj. Caressing little Pritha’s downy head, king asked
Kuntibhoj: Will you accept me, my child?
Pritha: Pitashree, the world will now call me Kunti, your daughter!
This entry is mostly a narrative, not a drama. Kunti Bhoja's personality comes through, but Pṛthā's transition from indecisive to excited is abrupt. In Mahābhārata, Kunti Bhoja is Pṛthā's father's paternal aunt's son (paitṛṣvaseya), not her mother's brother. For what purpose was this detail changed?
Entry 25
Amba: Bhishma has ruined me. I want to kill him, Lord Parshuram, I want to destroy him. But he isn't the only reason for my agony. Salva failed me. His love was so weak. But my vengeance won't be weak. I will burn Bhishma to the ground.
Ambā is a good character to choose for a drama. However, focus is lost when her monologue digresses to Śālva and returns to Bhīṣma. Why does she use the image of burning Bhīṣma to the ground like a building? Giving a line to Rāma Jāmadagnya, Hotravāhana, or another character could have developed this play.
Entry 26
Arjuna: "What about, me marrying your sister?"
Krishna: "You are a perfect pair!"
(Arjuna went to Subhadra’s kingdom)
Arjuna: "Beautiful Subhadra, hear me, become mine!"
Secretly Arjuna takes Subhadra with him.
Krishna (to his family): "Arjuna is the best partner for Subhadra. Give them your blessings!"
This is more polite than the original story, in which Kṛṣṇa tells Arjuna to kidnap Subhadrā before she gets a chance to choose for herself (Ādiparvan 211.23). Still, Subhadrā's voice is missing from this play. Does she say yes or no before Arjuna takes her?
Entry 29
Kunti: You look as radiant as your father, the Sun God. But you are a mistake, an error of my childishness. Farewell, son. That is all I can give you, my precious. I am the most unfortunate mother, and, I know that my misfortune will ruin your destiny.
Kuntī's thoughts are important, but along with the monologue, there should be some action to communicate her preparations to surrender her baby.
Entry 34
Ulupi : I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you, Prince Arjun. I am sorry for using my magic on you, but after so many years, I feel like a person lost in a desert, and my heart feels alive. I wish to marry you, oh Great one!
Ulūpī saying sorry and using the desert simile are original ideas. Her words, "after so many years," hint at her dead husband, whose existence she covers up by referring to herself as ananyā in Mahābhārata. This monologue should have been trimmed, and embellished with actions and Arjuna's presence to create a fuller play.
All in all, these thirty Nano Dramas plus the three that got my votes gave me a lot to ponder, and thanks to all the authors for that!
Originally posted by: Physics_girl
Hey yoy didn't tell me what I should address you as?
"BrhannadaArmour" is fine. I don't use my real name on India Forums.
Thanks for your kind words about my Nano Dramas.
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