[Member Topic] How u deal with bullies, dominating & two-faced people - Page 7

Originally posted by: la_Reine

I was bullied throughout my school life and nobody took a stand for me. Even my own parents didn't know how to deal with the situation. I did eventually move on, but it really affected my self esteem and confidence to the point that I still feel awkward in social situations and tend to avoid people. I like being alone most of the time.

sorry to hear that you went through thst it’s tough ether to be bullied or not be in a certain click etc !!

Originally posted by: Newbird

I was bullied in my school and college. I was mentally strong enough to ignore the bullies. They neither deserve your attention nor worth spoiling your mental health. I became such dheet after going through lot of ragging and bullying from seniors in college. I was not even in a position to remove myself from that place as you neither can escape college nor seniors in hostels. Only thing I did was to not get it into my head, ignore and move on. 

You are right but not everyone is that mentally strong or capable of handling situations. Everyone reacts differently to different situations and has different underlying issues too. I was a special needs kid, not treated normal like other kids were, which is why I was picked on. I have always been overly sensitive due to my issues and health problems. Some classmates even got jealous just because I got "extra attention" in class. I remember how I used to come crying home to my mum sometimes and saying how I don't want extra help etc, and want to be treated in school just like how the other kids are.

There is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Bullies are looking for your upset reaction, but if you are silent, they will think that they can get away with mistreating you. Somehow, you have to focus on your own good qualities, whatever makes you strong, and save your time for yourself. When bullies stand in your path, go with your gut instinct: find a way out before you waste your strength, but hit back when you are sure you can disable them. As far as possible, deprive them of satisfaction by staying calm and determined, ignoring their provocation, but sometimes you have to make noise so that a predator doesn't mistake you for prey. Do not try to reason with bullies. They imagine themselves to be always right, smarter, stronger, and more popular than they actually are. Even if they get nothing for their efforts to bully you, it will take them a long time to figure it out. You could put peace of mind right into their hands and they wouldn't know how to hold on to it because it's not what they want.

Dominating people can suck the fun out of any activity. They will disrupt your focus and waste your time with advice that is redundant or irrelevant, frivolous or just plain wrong. They will insist on taking charge and wasting resources, blame you for their failures that you warned them to avoid, and take credit when you quietly get the job done on your own. You cannot change them or recover what you lose by association with them. Just try to stay calm, plan ahead, and follow your conscience. Living well is the best revenge, they say, but some people are not worth revenge, so live well for your own sake.

I never tell two-faced people that I see through their lies. They would only redouble their efforts to prove themselves clever enough to fool me. Just smile like a geisha and let them believe whatever.

I hope this poem will make you feel better.

The Paradoxical Commandments

By Dr. Kent M. Keith

 

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

 

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

 

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

 

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

 

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

 

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas

can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

 

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

 

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

 

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

 

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

'You can be a Lion to chase away the wolves, or a fox to know where the traps are'. 😃😃