You know what bothered me about yesterday’s episode was Adi stalls and stands back when Apu blackmails him. Why?!
Does he not have a conscious that drives him and where is this free will there?
The need to be with her and the pain of losing her, isn’t that more than your mother throwing a tantrum?
It is scenes like that that make it more problematic for me to digest the fact that they will handle this so called social message well.
Thanks, Lodestar! Loved your points here as well👏
Word on the concept of consent generally being misunderstood and especially getting turned on its head when it happens to be a man's consent getting violated instead of a woman's who is easier to be portrayed as a victim. So what the makers have picked up here is an unusual topic indeed and it remains to be seen how well they can show it.....
@bold: On the topic of marital rape....this also has been twisted so much by supporters of Malini who also accused Adi of "marital rape" when he was with her as a husband. Again, the simple concept of consent seems so hard for people to grasp, dunno why. When Adi was with Malini, there was mutual consent as a husband-wife at that time....so the claim of any kind of rape does not hold to begin with. As it is, it is clear that Malini was the one always more despo over him to initiate any kind of intimacy....but anyways as long as it was mutual, it's fine and there is nothing to raise an issue over.
The issue now is that that the consent no longer exists from Adi's side but Malini is DEMANDING it by claiming a technical legal right as a wife.....so again, for those who don't understand....married or not, you cannot DEMAND consent from someone. A no means no, period. And Adi has said No to Malini a hundred different ways but clearly she has no comprehension skills regarding consent.
And word....a person has the right to withdraw consent at any point of time....that is their free will as an individual and no one can demand consent over any kind of relationship. Consent is given from free will only.
I didn't know about the Didi supporters who were claiming marital rape on Adi when they were both in a mutual relationship as husband & wife😲. Roz roz kuch naya sikhne milta hain from Didi supporters😆. Anyways let the Didi supporters be- they will twist anything to ww Didi & paint Adi-Imlie as culprit. This discussion is for the people who can actually put up valid points.
Anything that happened physically between AM after marriage was consensual until the time Adi realised his feelings for Imlie. Once he realised his love for Imlie, he withdrew physically, emotionally & mentally from Didi. You can see all of their scenes after PD3 track & see Adi's physical distance from Didi so clearly.
Didi ko bas apna legal wife hone ka haq chahiye which she has reduced down to only physical gratification in her cheap mind. Same mentality as her mother. She thinks that since she is legally still the wife, she can get away with it. This is what is being shown in the show as well with everyone blaming Adi & supporting bechari Didi who claims to not remember anything but still says that uski izzat lut gayi.
Didi never had any concept of other people's consent or rights. You can see it clearly now with what the makers have revealed as true colours of Didi's character when you view the initial episodes. She was always lamely coercing Adi using family pressure or her health. You can see her exercising her own way on Imlie & the T family as well. Everything had to be done according to Didi otherwise Didi muh phula deti thi. All this is a result of her emotionally stunted upbringing where all her wishes however unreasonable were fulfilled by her parents. Case in point being her marriage to Adi. I have always said that AC actually had valid points about AM incompatibility before marriage & was right in her stand that Didi would not be able to adjust with a man & family like Adi's. As their marriage progressed this is what the reality is- Didi is not a compatible partner to Adi or a compatible family member in the T family. She only puts on a fake show of being nice to cling onto Adi. She doesn't give a damn about Adi or his family. All she cares about is only her own wants & desires. She is a truly cheap woman.
Originally posted by: Apsvenky
Thanks AY for this thread - it makes so much sense what the makers have been trying to show, albeit in a roundabout way all this while.
Another point I wanted to add to what you said - Adi's consent in a lot of ways became Imlie's responsibility as well. That is why even in this entire Sautan drama, people who ask that when Imlie can leave Adi and Malini for their happiness then, why can't she do it now. The biggest reason is exactly this - Consent. Imlie knows that even if Malini is in love with Adi, his consent lies with staying with Imlie. She keeps reiterating that only - that Adi needs to be with the person he wants to be with. As long as Imlie had even a bit of doubt about his consent and choice, she was willing to go from his life without looking back. But when Adi continuously reaffirmed to Imlie that she was his choice and he consented to live with her, that was only when Imlie decided to fully embrace their relationship.
Even today, the episode reiterated consent multiple times. Imlie today was willing to leave Adi when she assumed he chose to be with Malini, even in a drugged state. The minute she realized that by impersonating her Malini took away Adi's consent, she was ready to come back and face the flak from everyone but still punish Malini for what Imlie feels was akin to assault. For Imlie Adi's consent was always her most important priority and continues to be even today. That is why I feel that no matter what Malini does, Imlie will still not allow Adi's consent to be compromised.
@bold: Totally agree....I actually find it funny to read people saying ki if Imlie was willing to leave Adi for Malini's happiness before, why not now? 😆. The answer is simple...consent and mutuality decides everything. Even after Adi declared that his consent and love is only for Imlie, she still held back from him for some time because she tried to give regard towards Malini's love for Adi. But over time, it became clear to Imlie also that without mutuality, the AM relationship can not survive either, so it isn't fair to anyone that the two people who actually have love and MUTUAL consent not be together. Then Malini basically made it worse for herself by showing that she is willing to FORCE consent from Adi against his will. This is what is driving Imlie's actions now.
For those who still haven't understood Imlie till now....pyar se maangoge toh woh jaan bhi de degi....but if you choose the wrong path and abuse someone, she will fight the world to get you justice. That is why she has come back at the cost of her own self respect and honor because justice for Adi is bigger than all this mess for her.
And yes, that is why I also feel that no matter what Malini does, no matter how many ways she tries to scapegoat Imlie through her cheap schemes of a baby or whatever, she will still not get what she wants because without consent, you do not have anything tangible.
Originally posted by: Prithu2008
Nice explanation AYji 😊This is the burning issue of this serial but some of us will always question whys and hows 🤢
P.s -- Once upon a time I was Apudeep 😭
Oye Apudip ji, our resident regional version expert....aap ki ID ko kya ho gaya?😆.....Hope your account is restored somehow 😊....
Yes, the issue of consent is the baseline of a lot of the story....samajhne waale samajh jaate hain...aur jo na samjhein woh toh😆
Sorry if this question diverges the topic but I dont get why Malini put an act of Mahanta in first place when Adi told her the truth. The way she is behaving now is consistent with her behavior before truth revelation.
She could have easily used Imlie's Malini didi jaap to put a break to Adi-Imlie relation. She could have told Imlie that she is not ready to leave Aditya, Imlie would have stepped back herself. What was all that drama about..
Originally posted by: Rollingdeep
Very well parallled and this consent has trickled to didis final chess move… tricking him into sleeping with her ( if he did is not clear whilst I believe it was fake) and the fake pregnancy without his consent . Didi as usual sees ppl as tools to suit her . Ppl revolve and are to act as per her will like puppets and she is the puppet master . Her mum did it with her dad and with her before Didi showed her evilness and now Didi is doing it.for them consent and free will doesn’t exist if it is not in line with Didi and mum thoughts and intentions
Exactly. This is why Malini doesn't understand consent....because for her, people are just objects to use...to manipulate per her demands.....she has been doing soft coercion with Adi for so long and it was getting her what she wanted, so now she isn't being able to handle it that Adi is no longer giving in to her manipulations as he was doing before in the 7 years of being her puppet.....lol this new Adi knows his heart clearly and his heart only wants Imlie.
Sorry I didn't mean to tag but I am new here so I get confused. I noticed later that post got tagged.
Thanks AYji. Always loved the way your draw parallels and pen down your perspectives.
I wish there are some angles of Imlie’s consent here as well. She always goes with the flow, be it with the T family, her village people, Adi, Dev or M.
In the periphery it looks as if she had a choice to stay or leave Adi but the emotional turmoil and her mental agony always pushed her to prevail in a difficult situation.
I wish they take into account her consent too.
I know Adi asks her many a time what does SHE want or what does SHE think, but at all times, her hands our tied to be able to do anything with free will.
It’s quite obvious that we all look for an entertainment quotient as well when we watch a show, but the tracks just drain people emotionally over and over again. There is no joy or happiness ever. There is always a looming dark cloud over every scene that makes it all very depressing ( post 130 episodes that is). I wish they can balance these tracks so that it’s not back to back to back turmoil.
Thank you, Krispy.
With regards to Imlie's consent....I feel she has made the reasons for her choices quite clear all along and stated directly when something did or didn't have her marzi. She has been clear that the forced marriage was without her consent too, but her belief system overall is one of going with the flow because she believes the flow to be Sita Maiyya ki marzi....so SM ki consent is what Imlie aligns her own consent with most of the time😆.
Some level of emotional coercion is bound to happen in different equations....when people are emotionally involved toh zidd aur haq bhi aate hi hain beech mein. But I still feel the writers have done a good job of demarcating those lines between Adi and Imlie and it has never felt like there is a lack of consent from either side....it has always grown organically between them.
I will give the example of yesterday's episode....Imlie was trying to leave, so Adi held her hand to stop her and pull her back to him....he kept holding her hand for a bit, but not in the typical manhandling style of MLs.....and after Imlie asked him to leave her hand a couple of times, he reluctantly let go.....so we could see the zidd that comes with love...the zidd of not wanting your loved one to go...but there was also his respect for her consent cuz he did leave her hand after she insisted he leave it. That is the kind of relationship they share....there is passion, there is intensity....but there is still that basic respect for consent between them.
Thank you, Krispy.
With regards to Imlie's consent....I feel she has made the reasons for her choices quite clear all along and stated directly when something did or didn't have her marzi. She has been clear that the forced marriage was without her consent too, but her belief system overall is one of going with the flow because she believes the flow to be Sita Maiyya ki marzi....so SM ki consent is what Imlie aligns her own consent with most of the time😆.
Some level of emotional coercion is bound to happen in different equations..b..when people are emotionally involved toh zidd aur haq bhi aate hi hain beech mein. But I still feel the writers have done a good job of demarcating those lines between Adi and Imlie and it has never felt like there is a lack of consent from either side....it has always grown organically between them.
I will give the example of yesterday's episode....Imlie was trying to leave, so Adi held her hand to stop her and pull her back to him....he kept holding her hand for a bit, but not in the typical manhandling style of MLs.....and after Imlie asked him to leave her hand a couple of times, he reluctantly let go.....so we could see the zidd that comes with love...the zidd of not wanting your loved one to go...but there was also his respect for her consent cuz he did leave her hand after she insisted he leave it. That is the kind of relationship they share....there is passion, there is intensity....but there is still that basic respect for consent between them.
I love that it is a love that grew over time, a love or emotion that still has a lot of scope to be portrayed. That’s what keeps me tied to the two of them. I wait for that “What’s next?” Moment in their relationship. Totally get where SM gives her consent and that to me in a way is also like going with the flow, this is my destiny or this is what God wants of me. We are all bound to do those things in our lives. This is where some of the free will or the freedom to show those emotions will be suppressed by ourselves. It is a social dilemma.
In yesterday’s episode, that little nuance where Adi stopped running behind I AFTER Anu’s tantrum is an example I can think of. His respect to I, letting her go is one thing but Anu pulling him back and him letting her go as an after effect didn’t bode well with that sentiment of free will.
Originally posted by: aarti1234
Sorry if this question diverges the topic but I dont get why Malini put an act of Mahanta in first place when Adi told her the truth. The way she is behaving now is consistent with her behavior before truth revelation.
She could have easily used Imlie's Malini didi jaap to put a break to Adi-Imlie relation. She could have told Imlie that she is not ready to leave Aditya, Imlie would have stepped back herself. What was all that drama about..
I think Malini's initial attempt at doing a mahaanta act was an exercise in attention + sympathy seeking. The way Adi revealed the truth to Malini, made Imlie's sacrifice appear so staggering that Malini felt deflated for a bit😆.....if you think back, her initial reaction was all about crying over how she is the dusri aurat and Imlie sacrificed her husband for her, then few minutes later, she asked Adi to forget everything and come back to her to continue their marriage.....lol but Adi refused by bringing up KC as an angle too so Malini was trapped in her own lie that she is supposedly in love with someone else😆.....
Malini didn't have a CHOICE back then but to play mahaan cuz she had already given Adi the impression that she is with someone else.....so for the sake of her ego, she kept the lie going because somewhere she didn't want to explain to Adi why she lied to begin with. Then when Adi ran off after Imlie to the lodge, Malini was getting sympathy from the Ts over playing bechaari so she milked that as much as she could until Aparna told her to leave😆. This is why I find it funny to now hear people claiming that Malini left the house on her own....umm no, Aparna told her to leave😆....but they all act like she did a sacrifice.
Even the divorce was initiated by Malini out of ego to stop Adi from leaving to go search for Imlie....but when Adi said, "jaise aapki marzi", it again became an ego thing for Malini that now she has to see it through cuz she asked for it😆. After that, when Adi brought Imlie back, Malini still continued to randomly show up at T house every other day.....why? lol she can claim as much as she wants that she was called over but the truth is that she always wanted excuses to come over and check on how Imlie is being received, how much reaction she can get from the Ts......even that phase when she was acting bechaari that the Ts are MU-ing her over her affair with KC, she was still managing to get sympathy from Adi so she was still quite ok overall.😆
Things basically changed for her when the divorce date started drawing nearer and the finality of it started to hit her.....until then she was sort of just seeing it through out of ego ki maine bola hai toh pura karna padega ab.....but when it started to get real, she started pulling her hand back......simultaneously she started to see Imlie settling into the role of Adi's wife by taking care of him when he was sick etc. so Malini started to TANGIBLE evidence of what the REALITY of Adi-Imlie's love is....it was no longer an abstract idea that they are husband-wife.....the reality was starting to hit home and Malini couldn't bear the actual truth despite claiming she had accepted it. Cuz it had been an act of acceptance all along and mostly a case of her getting trapped in impulsive lies she blurted out to save face.
Then came the truth revelation from Adi to the whole family and things escalated as he publicly started proclaiming Imlie his wife everywhere....so that is when the Malini who claimed to have accepted Adi-Imlie's relationship from way back actually revealed her true face that she CAN'T bear the actual reality of Adi claiming Imlie his wife. Bit by bit things escalated as she started doing more bitter taunts to Imlie, lashing out at her in big and small ways.....then the kidnapping track showed that Malini was just looking for an excuse to claim herself Adi's wife again.....
Anyways sorry for the long recap, the short answer to your question is that Malini's ego didn't let her tell the truth directly to Imlie or Adi before and now the situation has come too far for her to even play that sympathy card anymore, so she is trying to snatch by force instead. Even now, ego is playing a part.....she has too much ego to REQUEST Imlie to leave Adi....lol Imlie is soft-hearted enough ki shaayad she'd have tried to back down then also....but no, Malini has too much ego and superiority complex that requesting Imlie would feel like a step down to her so she is DEMANDING like a entitled brat instead....and this what Imlie is refusing to bow before.
Also worth adding that Malini is too much of a coward to directly ask Adi to stay with her cuz she also knows his answer will be a flat NO.....lol that is why she plays the mahaanta act as much as she can.
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