Is possessiveness a sign of love?

In the last episode of Ghum, Sunny advises Virat to tell Sai that he loves her so much that he cannot see her with someone else. It was a weird dialogue for me. It got me thinking about what everyone else felt about possessiveness.

To me possessiveness is suffocating, limiting. It feels like a loss of personal space and autonomy. Is it also controlling? Possessiveness can have degrees ofcourse - it can be extreme like in Virat or quite mild or something in between. It is not gender specific since both men and women can be possessive.

Where does possessiveness come from - a sense of insecurity? Or is it the result of conservative thinking? Or is it a phase in certain relationships?

All types of views are appreciated. Let us keep the discussion healthy.

Love. It’s about giving and not taking. True love is selfless. Love wants the best for the person and when there is a desire of possession attached to that, often times it is derived from a coexisting lust, but in its purest form, you only want to have the other person to yourself because you believe no one else can give them what you can. No one else can sacrifice and suffer for the sake of your beloved like you can. And if you think someone else can sincerely do it better, then you’re happy to see your beloved with the other. Love is about breathing life into another heart, even if it means sometimes smothering your own.

Tagging a few....everyone else's views are equally welcome.

Originally posted by: idkwhattoput

Love. It’s about giving and not taking. True love is selfless. Love wants the best for the person and when there is a desire of possession attached to that, often times it is derived from a coexisting lust, but in its purest form, you only want to have the other person to yourself because you believe no one else can give them what you can. No one else can sacrifice and suffer for the sake of your beloved like you can. And if you think someone else can sincerely do it better, then you’re happy to see your beloved with the other. Love is about breathing life into another heart, even if it means sometimes smothering your own.

I respect your views ❤️.

But isn't what you have said too idealistic? I personally feel everyone is selfish, even in love. Selflessness and truly putting the other before yourself can only come after years of knowing, understanding - through facing the trials. And this isn't restricted to romantic relationships but even with siblings.

Possessiveness is a parcel of love be it husband wife, parent child, friends or any other relationship. It just depends on how a person handles their emotions and what kind of relationship the individuals share. If the relationship is secure and the individuals understand each other well the possessive feelings can be healthy aswell and turn into a friendly banter or a minor argument. There can also be toxic possessiveness which is unhealthy.

For Virat's case, possessiveness has become so toxic considering the kind of relationship the 2 of them share and add to that his insecurities and all the toxic people around him adding fuel to fire. He lacks a person in his life who can speak to him and calm him so he can understand that this level of possessiveness is not a healthy sign. The irony here is that the only person who maybe able to calm him down is also Sai.

For Sai aswell we notice her possessiveness for Virat in on off phases. But , hers has not become as toxic as Virat yet. But we did see how jealous she gets , be it feeding food to P scenes or zillat when she realized p knows Virat slept outside on the couch and assumed Virat told P the same.

It's just a matter of time for the both of them to realize why are so possessive about each other. Hopefully then we will not see this side of the both of them, but it will still be there considering these are their character traits which cannot be erased.

Tagging a few

I don't remember how he said it. But I want to interpret it this way. As Virat hasn't confessed yet, Sai is free to be with anyone. As they have already duscussed about the age gab and she can eventually choose someone younger than him. If he will tell her his feelings at least he will stop fearing that Sai will let someone else come in her life. There is still a risk if he doesn't. I think the purpose of the conversation was to confess as soon as possible so there is no such misunderstanding in the future.

Originally posted by: MuguetDScorpion

I don't remember how he said it. But I want to interpret it this way. As Virat hasn't confessed yet, Sai is free to be with anyone. As they have already duscussed about the age gab and she can eventually choose someone younger than him. If he will tell her his feelings at least he will stop fearing that Sai will let someone else come in her life. There is still a risk if he doesn't. I think the purpose of the conversation was to confess as soon as possible so there is no such misunderstanding in the future.

Even if Virat confesses because of the deal Virat made Sai is still free to choose someone else as her life partner 😂😂

Possessiveness and jealousy is part of love or any relationship. But it shouldn't block ways for the other one even to breath. There are much said and done about we don't own anything in this world. But practically it doesn't really work that way. Possessiveness gives you the feeling of belongingness.

In case of SaiRat both are possessivene about each other. One is extremely vocal because he knows his feelings but the other one hesitant to express it often. Virat thinks Sai still has a chance to find another man as for her this marriage is a deal marriage. Also that age gap matter cropped up between them. So he feels Sai may get attracted to another younger man. Even after they start conjugal life that possessiveness will be still there. What I understood Virat will never be comfortable seeing Sai sharing any friendly gesture with any man other than its formal.Nor Sai will allow Virat sharing any bonds with other females other than formal.

Feelings of possessiveness might vary in degree from person to person, but when a person is in a relationship there will be a sense of possessiveness always. Especially when the concerned person have some insecurities or uncertainties about themselves or the relationship, the chances of the feeling getting too much to handle might increase. But it is a sign of love, imo. Is that healthy or toxic it depends on how the said person handles those emotions.

Virat's behaviour was the result of the uncertainty since their deal marriage hasn't taken a real marriage form yet and the insecurities he harbours over the fact that Sai is a lot younger to him and she might fall for another boy who is her age. And since they're not a normal couple , it's not an unimaginable possibility. If he had some sort of assurance that Sai isn't gonna leave him in some form, his outburst and reaction would have never gone this worse. Relationships are always complicated. It's easy to be a third person and judge others. But when a person is personally involved we can't say how their mind will work. Its human nature to err afterall. But Virat will redeem himself and he's already on that path.

I guess any emotion in moderation is ok in any relationship. A bitsy bit of possessiveness will give spark to the relationship. But it should not go overboard either.

This is smthin u cannot generalized either. Wat is ok for me might not be for u. In the end, it is the kind of tuning u have with your partner an the way u communicate.

ITV can't really be used as a bar for any relationship. Their is exaggeration and drama, lot more than practicality.