Dia Mirza - "Why Can't Women get Pregnant before Marriage?" - Page 3

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by return_to_hades


If a woman is ready to have a child and give it a good life, then it doesn't matter if she is married or single. I don't think children need two parents. They just need a loving supportive environment. There are plenty of single parents who do a great job and plenty of couples who mess up their children real badly. Also, marriage is not going to guarantee that the father will stick around or be involved. Many people co-parent together despite not being married. Many women end up being the sole caregiver for children despite being married. 


It's time we shed the archaic perceptions of marriage and children. Also, there is no way of knowing whether the marriage was due to the pregnancy or pregnancy was a coincidence for a couple that was getting married. I have friends who got married within a few months of having a baby, but the marriage was planned well ahead and they had been trying for a while. Many people with high-risk pregnancies do wait until they are into the second trimester before announcing pregnancy. 


❤️

Everyone here should just read this over and over again. Archaic is the best way to describe some people's mentality here. I don’t know what century they are stuck in. 

Separated but functional parents are much better than parents stuck together who do not like each other and create a toxic environment for you! Their relationship impacts us in so many ways!

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Rhimjhimsawan



❤️

Everyone here should just read this over and over again. Archaic is the best way to describe some people's mentality here. I don’t know what century they are stuck in. 

Separated but functional parents are much better than parents stuck together who do not like each other and create a toxic environment for you! Their relationship impacts us in so many ways!


There are sociological studies out there, proving two-parent families, gay or straight, are better for children by every criteria. Among them, children of married parents fare better. They do even better when the parents are generally happy together.


Are statistics now archaic?


I will proudly proclaim my feminism. But it can't come to mean avoidance of responsibility. Ie, if you choose to have a child, said child has to come first. How does it equate to no equal rights for women which is what feminism should be?


None of the above means single moms should be ostracized.

Posted: 2 years ago

Single parents who dont want to be in a marriage or committed relationship can be awesome parents. 

We have Sushmita Sen (adopted kids)  and Neena Gupta (biological kid)  Tusshar Kapoor (biological through surrogate) and Sandeep Soparkar (adopted)  are few examples 




Hetero and Gay married couples or committed partners  are also awesome parents and there are many examples Imran Hashmi and his wife,  Sunil Shetty with his wife. Anil Kapoor and His wife to name a few 


Divorced couples sharing custody can be awesome parents too, eg Hrithik Roshan and Susanne.


Having said that. Dia is just being a hypocrite and fake woke.  

Atleast be honest and say you were in a already committed relationship but the pregnancy decided the date for marriage.


Yes people's personal decisions are their own and people should mind their own business. 

But celebrities cannot claim privacy because they choose to make public their personal life to make money out of it. 

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by HearMeRoar



There are sociological studies out there, proving two-parent families, gay or straight, are better for children by every criteria. Among them, children of married parents fare better. They do even better when the parents are generally happy together.


Are statistics now archaic?


I will proudly proclaim my feminism. But it can't come to mean avoidance of responsibility. Ie, if you choose to have a child, said child has to come first. How does it equate to no equal rights for women which is what feminism should be?


None of the above means single moms should be ostracized.


Let's say I really want to have a child because it's my heart's deepest desire. I am financially capable. I am loving, supportive, and nurturing. From the kid's daily meal plan to future college funds I have mentally prepared for everything because that's how much I look forward to having a kid. But I can't have a child ever because I need to go find another partner first? Even though I do not want a relationship? Even though while I am ready to be a good mother but not ready to be someone's partner? 

So a male or female partner will fill some sort of major void in my child's life that another parenting figure in my life couldn't like a grandmother, grandfather, uncle or aunt? I am sure there are studies. There are studies for everything, one study will say A and another will contradict it. Often we don't even look into how, where, when the studies are conducted and what the variables were. There are lots of studies that say a child needs and benefits most from parents of both genders so going more extreme on your studies. They say a child must have a father and a mother not two moms or dads. So now what? Gay lesbian couples need to go seek opposite gender partners? 

I am not saying single families rule and boo traditional families. I am saying be a parent when you think you have created an environment that you think is best for your future child. For most it will mean having a partner but for some, for people like me it might not. Surely separate loving parents is healthier than toxic married ones, or abusive married ones. Did the study you cite take those things into account? Or did it conclude any form of two parents home is better than a single parent home for a child. 

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Rhimjhimsawan



Let's say I really want to have a child because it's my heart's deepest desire. I am financially capable. I am loving, supportive, and nurturing. From the kid's daily meal plan to future college funds I have mentally prepared for everything because that's how much I look forward to having a kid. But I can't have a child ever because I need to go find another partner first? Even though I do not want a relationship? Even though while I am ready to be a good mother but not ready to be someone's partner? 

So a male or female partner will fill some sort of major void in my child's life that another parenting figure in my life couldn't like a grandmother, grandfather, uncle or aunt? I am sure there are studies. There are studies for everything, one study will say A and another will contradict it. Often we don't even look into how, where, when the studies are conducted and what the variables were. There are lots of studies that say a child needs and benefits most from parents of both genders so going more extreme on your studies. They say a child must have a father and a mother not two moms or dads. So now what? Gay lesbian couples need to go seek opposite gender partners? 

I am not saying single families rule and boo traditional families. I am saying be a parent when you think you have created an environment that you think is best for your future child. For most it will mean having a partner but for some, for people like me it might not. Surely separate loving parents is healthier than toxic married ones, or abusive married ones. Did the study you cite take those things into account? Or did it conclude any form of two parents home is better than a single parent home for a child. 


Problem with what you're saying is every study out there confirms stable, two-parent households where the parents are married are better for children's future.


1. 2 parents who live together

2. Married parents

3. Stable partnership (not discordant)


Three factors determined to be best for the children. There has been no study to date which shows otherwise. And I mean studies with objective measurements like educational success, career, future problems with the legal system, etc. Not happiness/life satisfaction indices which are vague.


Of course there can be great single parents. But taken as a whole, children of single parents fare worse. 


And (bolding and underlining to highlight) I specified every study shows it's true for gay or straight parents. 

Edited by HearMeRoar - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by HearMeRoar



People are not allowed to make mistakes?


Are you sure she made a mistake? Because I cant read what was the mistake or how to avoid such mistakes in marriage. 


With her kind of thinking, it doesnt need me to do a research on her to know what she thinks about marriage, and that her reason to get married again "to spend our lives together" are just lol.


Still I tried doing some reading, her first husband, she married him after 4 years of dating, and she also was engaged to him for months before tying the knot, and just like I thought, when asked about why delay in marriage, she said marriage is just a formality and that they are committed to each other without marriage. 

 

With this new husband, she dated over a year only. Very obvious she married because she is pregnant, only if she can be honest about it. 

Posted: 2 years ago

Maybe i live in an Archiac world where I met high earning single parent wished her/his child had a decent father/mother and wished thechild did not grow up with existing Daddy/mommy issues.

If anyone raised atleast one kid you wud know how needy kids are. Its overwhelming with a nanny/day care and 2 parent household. So i am unware of this fictional world(non celebrities, billionaire hoseholds where there is 24/7 valet/nanny/chef and in house butler ) cakewalking through single parenting...and even blurring the difference of having healthy 2 parent enviroment and single parent ones.

Nothing beats a well intentioned, decent parents raising their kids with nanies/day cares etc. Most 2 income families do this. Rich parents neglect kids too...see a lot of interview by such celebs...prince william/harry once had a  nanny that starved one of them...the list goes on.

Anyone woman who is even remotely fond of her father will never ler her child be deprived of father's love. I mean why would you deliberately act in way that would put you in a more fortunate position in life while denying your child the same? 


Having both your parents raise you until you grow wings to take off on your own is the most fortunate thing anyone can have.Ask a lot of orphans and foster home kids this. They would take it in a hearbeat that a lot of them so insolently want to throw away.

There are several statistics how fatherless boys turned out to be most random shooters in USA, not to mention how much not having a father effects girls...i can go on about several other Data points indicating the legitamacy of the statistics which even experts agree on(feminists too)...but, i guess i made my point.

Edited by pali001 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Terenaina


  Call me feminist but it's not a MUST to have both mom and dad. It's a lot of single moms who do a great job raising leaders. Real life experience, a father can die when the baby is just born and a single mom raising her kids can make them independent in life to the point they don't need to depend on anybody. Even president Obama was raised by a single mom, I believe his dad was not part of his life. I know many kids who have both parents in the house who are in jail or made bad decisions in life. So no having 2 parent or 1 parent does not make a difference, it helps with financially but destiny is written whether it's good or bad by the almighty. It's great to follow traditional marriage before baby. But if the husband dies Or you get divorce and the woman is a single mom, I believe she can be a better parent than having Two parents, I have seen many examples of this. In school, I used to see kids who have single mom raising them doing better getting A's and B's while the ones who have both parents in the house are not paying attention in class, skipping school and etc. Some of the women I know in real life who are business owners who have successfully personal and professional life was raised by a single woman. So let's not underestimated the power of a woman. 


Unfortunate events vs deliberately making a decision to deprive the child of a father is not the same thing. Most single parents did not choose to be so...Lets not underestimate the presence of father in a child's life. 

Edited by pali001 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

Great so now not only are we debating whether a woman has the right to be a single mother but we have entered the territory that a kid must have a father so lesbian parents are out of luck. Lesbian moms beware! Your kids might turn out to be mass shooters. Got it! Is there a study on that to see if all the psycho shooters came from single moms, or dysfunctional traditional parent homes? 

Posted: 2 years ago

[QUOTE=Chiillii]

Single parents who dont want to be in a marriage or committed relationship can be awesome parents. 

We have Sushmita Sen (adopted kids)  and Neena Gupta (biological kid)  Tusshar Kapoor (biological through surrogate) and Sandeep Soparkar (adopted)  are few examples .


Sushmita allegedly adopted from orphanage... kids got a better deal than orphanage. We are here talking about deliberatly bringing a child into the world without father...just because ..."hey! i can do it, so i will".

I totally endorse single women who adopt kids from parentless children from languishing in orphanges. Definetly beats the alternative for these kids. 


Divorced couples sharing custody can be awesome parents too, eg Hrithik Roshan and Susanne: Hrithik kids are not fatherless/motherless ...so not relevant to topic.



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