The sky coloured with vibrant hues of purplish blue, just post sunset, painting a picturesque scene which bestowed very rarely, as the sky was usually decorated with a reddish tinge which would completely melt into bluish black as the night would set in! The moon seemed in all its grandeur a royal sight adorning the sky. The dulcet tunes of the crickets emanated a soothing effect to the entire atmosphere. She stood gazing at this serene sight, the irony being, she herself bereft of this serenity. Her entire being was turbulent with unrealized feelings and agony. Her being seemed engulfed by a melancholy of a different sort. Her chocolate brown orbs held no more tears as they all but resembled hollow pools devoid of anything! She had shed enough tears already, so much so that they too had left her side now. Alone she was, all alone!
Sighing deeply, she moved towards the kitchen to make a roti for herself. She was all alone in the house with the Tripathis gone to Jagratha at a relative's house and Babusaheb and Didi gone on a short trip, just to spend some time together. And this made her heart clench in inexplicable pain. If left to her she wouldn’t even have prepared the roti for herself, preferring to drown in her agony, bare out all her sorrows infront of the empty walls and inanimate objects, all that she had suppressed within her, without any disturbance or fear of somebody overhearing her! But since she was in charge of the house, she had to make sure she had to be alert and proper. She already seemed to drain out emotionally. The last thing she needed was to faint!
Half-heartedly she made two rotis for herself and swallowed them with dry pickle. Moving to her room, she took her medicines not realizing that she was taking the same tablet twice! That tablet was supposed to be taken after food but without realizing, she had taken the tablet, forgetting that unlike other days, she hadn’t had any food yet! And now she had swallowed another pill which was slightly strong one.
‘Clang!’ the glass dropped from her hand even as both her hands held her head in a tight grip. She felt unstable and saw the world revolving in circles!
“What is happening? Why am I feeling so dizzy all of a sudden?” she said out aloud. Before she could do anything else, she heard the bell ring. Clutching her head more firmly and struggling to keep herself steady, she made her way to the door and opened it, without checking even as to who it was at the door.
The intake of the pills wrongly had induced an intoxication into her system which now had got to her completely!
“What’s wrong with you? How can you open the door…” Aditya started saying but halted right in the middle when he saw her sway holding her head. He literally jumped forward and held her hand when she was about to fall, unable to balance. His eyes had widened and his breaths were fast, the panic of the moment lingering within him. Before he could process anything, he felt her pull her hand away with a jerk, making him look at her in complete shock instantly. What he saw in her eyes at the moment left him rooted to his spot!
"Please don't! Just go from here Babusaheb! I might not be able to hold on anymore!" she said and started moving backwards.
"Imlie listen…." Aditya started to say but she cut him off in the middle.
"Listen? That's what I have been doing all this while Babusaheb! I no longer want to listen to anything. And honestly, it's you who have to listen! Yes! Today I'll speak and you'll listen!" she snapped furiously, the flimsy thread holding her emotions together ultimately breaking completely. Aditya just nodded his head wordlessly.
"You and I, we were married forcibly. Jitna yeh rishta aap pe zabardasti ka tha, utna hi humpe bhi tha! Yet I was blamed. Why Babusaheb? What was my fault? Yes I agreed for marriage when the villagers were about to kill you but you also know that it was to save your life! You were ready to die, but did you give a single thought as to what would happen if your family were to see your dead body? Did you give a single thought as to what would have transpired on your loved ones had you been killed? No, you dint! I saved you Babusaheb because I knew I wouldn't be able to live with this guilt that it was because of me that you...even though none of us were at fault. Do you know before the marriage I had tried to get you a phone so that you could call back home and get out of this situation? Humne apni zindagi me kisika ek sikka nahi liya aur aap toh kisike amanat the. Kisike pyaar they, kisike zindagi they. Toh aapne yeh kaise soch liya ki hum aapko….."
"You blamed me for all that happened. Fine I took it on my head even when I was completely innocent. You were shocked, rattled by what had happened, but wasn't I too? You don't have the slightest idea of what I have gone through in those days Babusaheb! For a girl who's raised in the land where Sindoor is of greatest importance, her own sindoor had made a laughing stock of her life! My dreams, my aspirations, everything were crushed brutally. My identity was lost! Just one incident and everything I had which I could call my own was lost! Lost never to return!"Aditya just looked down guiltily, enraging her hurt self even more. In an intoxicated state, all her suppressed emotions were pouring out. She had no control over her demeanour. Enraged, she grabbed his collars making him look at her in shock.
"Everything that happened was against my wishes too. You think I did all that deliberately, that's why you accused me right? Then listen to this Babusaheb! I had no intentions of marrying ever. After seeing what happened to my Amma, I had decided that I would succeed and go ahead so much in life, on my own strength, without any companion, and give it back to all those people who insulted us. Marriage was a hindrance to my dreams and our marriage too has proved that fact justly! This marriage has brought me no happiness Babusaheb! This has infact brought nothing but pain and agony to me!" she said and moved back. His fists automatically clenched and he gulped trying to curb the gnawing pain in his chest.
"You know Babusaheb, when you have to see your husband, be it however kind of relationship you share with him, getting married to someone else right infront of your eyes, take part in all the rituals with a smile, pretend to enjoy when from within you are all but hurting, that's the worst punishment possible for any wife. You hadn't given me any rights and I hadn't asked or claimed for it either. But that does not change our reality na Babusaheb. If it could, this wouldn't be where we both are standing today! It hurts Babusaheb! It hurts a lot! It hurt a lot those days, much more than what I had assumed. At so many points I felt I would just breakdown, unable to take it all!" she said and sat down on the couch nearby. (Silence)
"Every day since childhood, the days I remember, I have seen my mother await the return of my father. I have seen the yearning in her eyes, her freely flowing tears accounting the amount of pain she has been experiencing. I had decided then, this would surely not be in my fate because I would never ever fall in love! If only I knew I would be meeting you someday and this resolve would break!" she said, a distant look in her eyes.
His eyes shot up to her, shocked but she was looking at the window, the faraway look distinctly visible."Love had always been akin to a cage for me. It was always something that bound us instead of letting us free. But now I realize, love is one of the most beautiful emotions to feel, despite it being one-sided" she said and met his eyes, pain clearly radiating in her eyes. Just the next instant, she looked away.
"This has been a secret I have buried within the depths of my heart, trying to deny it, suppress it. I had decided Babusaheb, I wouldn't pay heed to these feelings because I know, they have no future. But I failed Babusaheb because feelings are like sand. The more you tighten your fists to hold it, the more they slip out! So the next option was to keep away. Be as far as possible from you. This would spare me from this pain I thought. Only, it increased manifolds." she said and smiled a sarcastic smile.
" I want to move ahead Babusaheb but I don't know how. Can you please tell me? What can I do so that I'm rid of all this once for all? You must be knowing something which can cure this problem of mine. Please help me Babusaheb. I can't take this any longer. I can't! I have never felt so hopeless in my life ever. This pain has become too much to take." she said and holding her head in her hand began sobbing.
Aditya's back hit the wall as he looked down, his tears trickling down, guilt, pain and agony hitting him at the same moment. Just how much had he hurt her, broken her? Just to what extent had he become so oblivious to someone's feelings? He slumped down on the ground, the sight of her sobbing curling into herself, pricking him more.
She loved him despite all that he did to her! He knew she would never have told him or even let him get an inkling of her feelings and pain, had she not been intoxicated. This proved to what extent she had been brave and concealed everything within her. She hadn't had a proper and good life to begin with and he had wrecked it even more, pushing her down so much. Yet she loved him, respected him, cared for him.
"Imlie" he whispered her name and for the first time it did not hold anger or hatred but an emotion altogether different, and looked up.She had curled on the couch, the intoxication finally having its drowsy effect on her. He moved towards her and sitting down by her side, he wiped her tears and caressed her hairs with pure affection. Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he lifted her up and took her to her room. Making her comfortably lie down under her canopy of stars, he covered her with a duvet and left after caressing her hairs.
He's the one who has given her the wounds, so he'd be the one to heal them. And Aditya resolved that very instant, he would heal his Jhalli of all her pains and give her everything that she needed and deserved. Fate had bound them together, this wasn't without any reason, he realised it then! Hey all,This is my second OSDo share your views
comment:
p_commentcount